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[music]

2
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[MUFFLED BUZZING]

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[BUZZING]

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[MAN MOANING]

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[BUZZING CONTINUES]

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[BUZZING STOPS]

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I thought you were gonna wake me at 6:30.

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I also said women like men

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who are shaped like potatoes.

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Can you find the pattern here?

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I had the egg dream again.

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"I, I, I."

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What do you think an egg dream means?

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Mmm, probably an omen.

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A good omen? How many good omens

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involve things that come out of a chicken's butt?

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There only has to be one.

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[SCREAMING]

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Hey, that's my bathroom.

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I didn't know you had your own toothbrush, Ratbert.

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Why would I need my own toothbrush?

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[GARGLES AND SPITS]

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Good morning, shower.

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Good morning, Dilbert.

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Don't you do enough engineering at work?

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Work is just meetings.

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This is engineering.

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If this works, someday all showers will be voice-activated.

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Is it that hard to turn the knobs?

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It's not that it's hard. It's unnecessary.

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99, please.

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99.

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[WHISPERS] 400.

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Heh-heh. Nice try.

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But the shower is calibrated to respond to my voice only.

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You think of everything.

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I'm cautious.

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That's why you had training wheels on your bike

39
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until your were 17.

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I was 14!

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14.

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[DILBERT SCREAMS]

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99! 99! 99!

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Don't do that!

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Where'd you get the voice for that?

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It sounds like the computer from that stupid movie...

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What was it?

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Something, something, A Space Odyssey?

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It wasn't something, something, A Space Odyssey.

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It was 2001: A Space...

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[DILBERT SCREAMING]

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On the plus side, you look very clean.

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[EXPLOSION]

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[music]

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[CHANTING] Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

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Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

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Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

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Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

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Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

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Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

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[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

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Are we sticking with our ban on useless greetings?

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Yes. Yes.

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Just checking.

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[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING]

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Wally.

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Yes? Push the button.

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Why? Just because I'm standing near them?!

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Yes.

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I pushed the button yesterday.

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Wally, do what Alice says.

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Now why should I do-- Ow!

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[GROANING]

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I had the egg dream again last night.

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I've often said there's nothing more interesting

76
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than hearing about someone's dream.

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Eggs-- you're not the first engineer to have that dream.

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You, too?

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No, I'm sane.

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Old Jack Cooper had that dream.

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Right before he turned into...

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The Chicken Man.

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It's impossible to turn into a chicken.

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A chicken, yes.

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But chicken man-- that can happen.

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What happened to Jack Cooper?

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He was an engineer.

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Much like you.

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Until they put him in charge of a project.

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The frustration started building up.

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He started having the egg dream.

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He'd stand up during meetings all agitated

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And he'd wave his arms around like a chicken.

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What project was he working on?

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That's the thing.

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No one could agree on the project name.

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That's what got him.

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What happened?

99
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I think he's with the circus.

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Poor clucker.

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[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING]

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VOICEMAIL: Thank you for calling.

103
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Please dial your password and press "pound."

104
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You have... 937 messages

105
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All of which are marked "Urgent."

106
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First urgent message:

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MAN: This is Ted.

108
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I'm just calling to tell you I sent you some e-mail.

109
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Well, that's all.

110
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Ugh.

111
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VOICEMAIL: All messages deleted.

112
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Jeez, the network is slow today.

113
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Too slow.

114
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Oh, no.

115
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Is it...?

116
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Yes.

117
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Nothing but resumes. People are bailing out.

118
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There must be a problem with our new flagship product.

119
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Ah, the herbal throat lozenges?

120
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I told them at the rollout meeting

121
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that anthrax was a bacteria, not an herb.

122
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No, you didn't.

123
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I was thinking it pretty hard.

124
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Ooh, some poor marketing executive

125
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will have to take the fall for this one.

126
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Bob, you made quite a mess

127
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with the herbal lozenges product line.

128
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Don't believe everything you read

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in all the major news outlets.

130
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Try one.

131
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Mmm, worth a shot.

132
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Bob, you're like a son to me.

133
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You don't have a son.

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That's where I'm headed here.

135
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Ooh.

136
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Now, this isn't easy for either of us.

137
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But I have to ask you

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to take your huge executive severance package

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and go find a higher-paying job at another company.

140
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This is barbaric!

141
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I've given my soul to this company.

142
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I've heard a rumor!

143
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Shh! Shh! Ow, ow, ow!

144
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I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

145
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[LOUDLY] I've heard a rumor our lozenges product wiped out a town!

146
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I can't believe it!

147
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Those lozenges were made of natural ingredients!

148
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We can see the devastation.

149
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But how does this make you feel?

150
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My throat is moist.

151
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And the raspiness is gone.

152
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[GAGGING]

153
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Back to you.

154
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He's always late.

155
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What's he doing that's more important than us?

156
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[HUMMING]

157
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Wuh-oh.

158
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Drawer's almost full.

159
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I'll need a new desk.

160
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Hey, Alice.

161
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Looky!

162
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[GROANS]

163
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So what's life like

164
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in your village, Tong Nee?

165
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And tell me everything. I'm not paying for the call.

166
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Well, troops, I assume you've all

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been informed about the problems with our flagship product.

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What? Not me.

169
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There's no point in killing a dead horse.

170
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You mean there's no point in beating a dead horse.

171
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Why would anyone beat a dead horse?

172
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,024
Why would anyone kill a dead horse?

173
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Maybe it'd kick you.

174
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It's dead!

175
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And so is every customer

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who used our flagship product.

177
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Now...

178
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:47,033
We have a warehouse filled with lethal lozenges

179
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we are currently converting for usage in ancillary markets.

180
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,538
Buttons...

181
00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:55,041
Coinage...

182
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Teddy bear eyes.

183
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The point is, we all must embrace change.

184
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No, that is very bad.

185
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We don't like that.

186
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:04,550
Well, we have to make up for the revenue shortfall

187
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,552
and there are only two ways to do that:

188
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:07,553
Create a new product

189
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,555
or make massive, painful budget cuts.

190
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Let's make a new product!

191
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:14,560
That is exactly my plan.

192
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,561
Ooh, I love a plan.

193
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,063
Excellent plan.

194
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,065
Phase one:

195
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,067
We need a name for the product.

196
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,069
Uh... that's actually the last step.

197
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,571
You've got the transparencies out of order.

198
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,573
He doesn't like being corrected.

199
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,076
Now he must do something terrible to you.

200
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,578
Something to teach us all a lesson.

201
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:35,081
Dilbert...

202
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,583
I'd like you to take the lead on this project.

203
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[CLUCKING]

204
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,589
Step one: the name.

205
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The name is the last thing you do.

206
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,593
Oh, use some common sense, son.

207
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:48,594
If you don't know something's name

208
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,096
how do you know what to build?

209
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,098
Focus groups. Market research.

210
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,599
Detailed user specifications.

211
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,602
And the na-a-a-me.

212
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,105
Do you think the guy who invented the mousepad

213
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:01,107
started with the name?

214
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,108
What's a mousepad?

215
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,109
[CHUCKLES]

216
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,111
Feminine protection for mice.

217
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:07,113
Oop!

218
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,614
If we don't know what the product is

219
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,116
we'll never agree on its name.

220
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,118
we'll have meeting after meeting after meeting.

221
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,619
Everyone will want to have input

222
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,122
Because input is much easier than doing real work.

223
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,623
The only way we'll ever get

224
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:19,625
that many people to agree is... luck!

225
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,127
[CLUCKING] Luck, luck, luck.

226
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,130
Oh, that's not a good sign.

227
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,632
I am not the Chicken Man.

228
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,134
I'll get you a name.

229
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,636
Anyway, it's better than massive, painful budget cuts.

230
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,138
Actually, we're doing that too.

231
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:35,141
It's being announced... right now.

232
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:38,144
I got your budget cuts right here.

233
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,148
We expect some looting.

234
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,650
Maybe you people can just sit here while this happens!

235
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:47,153
But not me!

236
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,154
[GRUNTING]

237
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,166
[GUN SHOTS]

238
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,168
How hard can it be to name a product?

239
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,170
That Jack Cooper just didn't have what it takes.

240
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:07,673
[CLUCKING]

241
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,677
That happens to be the best way to stomp out a fire.

242
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,179
Dilbert...help.

243
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,680
I've been shot.

244
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:15,681
I've been shot. I've been shot.

245
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,683
I have a few problems of my own, you know.

246
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,185
Yeah, I heard about the name thing.

247
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,686
[GASPING] That's a drag.

248
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,693
I'm okay.

249
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:28,694
Everything's okay.

250
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:32,698
Things could be worse.

251
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:33,699
Oh, my...

252
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,201
[CLUCKING] God!

253
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:45,211
DILMOM: Why don't you call your product the Vectralux 9000?

254
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,212
DILBERT: Why would I call it that?

255
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,713
I'm just trying to help.

256
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:50,216
I know it's hard for you to come up with a name

257
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,218
what with your poor verbal skills.

258
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,220
There's nothing wrong with my verbal skills.

259
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,721
It only seems that way

260
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:57,223
because my math skills are so high.

261
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,725
There's no reason to get all nuswartic about this.

262
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,727
He's more pultaceous than nuswartic.

263
00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:04,230
Whatever that means-- I am not.

264
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,731
There, there.

265
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,233
I know what you're doing.

266
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:10,236
Your Scrabble mind games will not work on me.

267
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,738
It's all very muldipulous if you ask me.

268
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,745
Mm-hmm.

269
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,748
Uh-oh...

270
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,252
[GROWLS]

271
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,254
Why don't you call your product

272
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,755
The Gruntmaster 6000?

273
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,757
What kind of product do you see

274
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,759
when you imagine a Gruntmaster 6000?

275
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,261
Well, it's a stripped-down version

276
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,263
of the Gruntmaster 9000, of course.

277
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,765
But it's software-upgradeable.

278
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:40,766
Can we just play?

279
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:43,269
All right then, standard Scrabble rules apply.

280
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,770
No kicking, biting or slapping.

281
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,272
No projectiles of any kind.

282
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:47,273
Name-calling?

283
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:48,774
Only on your own turn.

284
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,278
"It."

285
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:55,281
Give me four big ones, you wrinkled toad.

286
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,782
Yes! Yes!

287
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,784
It? that's not a word.

288
00:11:58,784 --> 00:11:59,785
I challenge.

289
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:01,787
You challenge "it?"

290
00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:06,292
Give me the dictionary.

291
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:09,295
What kind of stupid dictionary is this?

292
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,796
Wibster's?

293
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:13,299
I think it's the one your company makes.

294
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,300
That would explain it.

295
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,301
Explain "it"?

296
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,802
What's an "it"?

297
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:19,305
"Quixotic."

298
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,806
That's triple word score

299
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:23,309
Plus 50 for using all seven letters...Q and the X.

300
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,310
That's...

301
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:27,313
152 stinking, totally lucky points.

302
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,314
Whoa!

303
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,815
Whoo! Whoo!

304
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:32,818
Yes! In your face, math boy.

305
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:36,322
[music]

306
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,824
I am so tired of seeing that dance.

307
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:42,828
"Quizzing."

308
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:45,831
That's 188.

309
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,334
I'm pretty sure Scrabble only has one Z.

310
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,835
[HISSING]

311
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:52,338
That's the kind of thinking that allowed you to lose

312
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,340
400 games in a row.

313
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,341
[HISSING]

314
00:12:58,844 --> 00:12:59,845
Thank you all for coming.

315
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:01,847
Especially those of you who weren't invited

316
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,349
and have no reason to be here.

317
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,351
Sure, no big deal. No problem. Whatever.

318
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,853
To save time, I've hired a consultant

319
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:10,856
to help us find a name for our next product.

320
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:14,360
He doesn't look like any consultant I've ever seen!

321
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,861
Recommendation...

322
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,863
Downsize the loud guy.

323
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,365
I take it back!

324
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:22,368
Anyone else want a piece of me?

325
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:23,369
[MURMURING]

326
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,870
As you probably know,

327
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,373
all the good product names have been trademarked

328
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,375
by companies who are competent.

329
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:30,376
Competent?

330
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,877
How are we going to compete with that?

331
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,879
There's still plenty of names left

332
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:36,882
in the area of Greek mythology, bodily secretions,

333
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:39,885
diseases and everything involving intestines.

334
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,387
I like all of those things.

335
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,889
Remember, the first rule of brainstorming

336
00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:46,392
is to openly mock the opinions of others.

337
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,893
I thought it was the other way around.

338
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:49,395
Swift.

339
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,896
Let's start with you accounting guys.

340
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,898
Walter's good at this creative stuff.

341
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:53,899
He just named his baby.

342
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:55,901
How is Walter Jr.?

343
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,403
She's fine. Thanks for asking.

344
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,405
Well, that was a dry hole.

345
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,907
Do we have anyone here from Marketing?

346
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:05,411
[SMOOCHING LOUDLY]

347
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,912
Lie to me!

348
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:08,914
Our next upgrade will solve the problem.

349
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:10,916
[MOANING] Uh-huh-hoo!

350
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,418
I like the sound of it

351
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,420
but how do you spell "uh-huh-hoo"?

352
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:16,422
Walter has a name for the product.

353
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:19,425
How about...Ford?

354
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:22,428
Hmm, that seems to be taken

355
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,930
by the Ford Motor Company!

356
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:27,933
[SOBBING]

357
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,935
Maybe Ford will sell the name.

358
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:31,437
Everyone has a price.

359
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,439
You're not allowed to talk anymore.

360
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,941
How about something from the disease category?

361
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,443
They can't all be that bad.

362
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,445
How about seborrhea?

363
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,946
I like the sound of it.

364
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,948
[LATIN ACCENT] Seborrhea...

365
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,950
Seborrrrrrhea.

366
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:45,951
That's not a disease.

367
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:46,952
It's a condition.

368
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:48,454
It doesn't have to be a disease.

369
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:50,456
Let's stay focused.

370
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,958
Diseases, secretions, Greeks.

371
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:53,959
How about Sisyphus?

372
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:56,462
The guy who pushed a rock up a hill for eternity?

373
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:57,963
That fits this project.

374
00:14:57,963 --> 00:14:58,964
Hmm, I like it.

375
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,467
It conveys a sense of playfulness.

376
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,969
It's supposed to convey a sense of futility.

377
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:06,472
You have to look at it from the rock's point of view.

378
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,974
How about toe fungus?

379
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,476
That's a disease.

380
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:15,481
Cellulite... cellula... cellulex.

381
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:16,482
And when you take your sock off

382
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,484
and you can still see the indent on your ankle

383
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,485
Is that called anything?

384
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,488
That's it! I can't take it anymore!

385
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:25,491
I will not turn into the Chicken Man.

386
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,492
Pick a name, any name.

387
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:27,493
Here...

388
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:28,494
Acorn.

389
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,496
Acorn, okay? That's the name.

390
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,997
I know it's taken

391
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,999
but it's just a little mom-and-pop dry cleaners.

392
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,000
We can buy their name.

393
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,502
Okay then, buy it.

394
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,504
We'll present it to my boss next week.

395
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:42,007
I feel the curse of the Chicken Man lifting already.

396
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,009
Now all you need is a second name

397
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:46,011
to present at the same time--

398
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,012
A really bad name.

399
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,013
Why do we need a second?

400
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:49,014
It's a decoy.

401
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:51,016
Always give your boss two choices.

402
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,518
One to reject, one to approve.

403
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:55,020
It creates the illusion of leadership.

404
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:58,524
You always bring me two choices.

405
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:01,527
For you, both choices are always real.

406
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,529
Oh...

407
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,030
All right, we need a decoy name

408
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:07,533
that's plausible, yet frighteningly bad.

409
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,035
Hmm, how about salmonella

410
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:13,539
in honor of rooster boy here?

411
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,545
Can I speak with the owner?

412
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,046
[FRENCH ACCENT] Why?

413
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,548
So you can make false accusations

414
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,551
about us wearing customers' clothing to sporting events?

415
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,052
I defy you to prove it. No, I--

416
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:30,055
You don't scare me, you potato-shaped bully.

417
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:33,058
You four-eyed, tall-foreheaded, short-pants man.

418
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:34,560
I'm not here to complain.

419
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,562
[NO ACCENT] Oh, well, we're not French.

420
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,564
Why do you talk-- Because we're rude.

421
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,566
It just sounds better with a French accent.

422
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,067
So, what do you want?

423
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,570
My company would like to buy the name Acorn. We'll pay...

424
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,573
[FRENCH ACCENT] Never! Acorn was our only son's nickname.

425
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:51,577
It is not for sale as long as this store still stands.

426
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,578
I need that name.

427
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:54,079
Leave the premises now

428
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:57,583
or I will be forced to call the strip mall security guard

429
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,084
who, although old and feeble

430
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:01,086
will whip you and beat you without mercy

431
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:04,590
until you sing campfire songs in the voice of a little girl.

432
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,594
Thanks for all your help.

433
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,596
The Acorn Dry Cleaners won't last forever.

434
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,097
Just let nature take its course.

435
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:14,099
Nature? How long will that take?

436
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,101
Hmm, not long.

437
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:17,603
I'm part of nature.

438
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:23,609
[VOICE VIBRATING] Would you like to try a vibrating chair?

439
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:24,610
Get out of my way, you pervert.

440
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,619
Will you be sitting down in any of these?

441
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,120
No, I'm going to run for it

442
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,623
and you might want to do the same.

443
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:46,131
Sweet mother of God!

444
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,136
[YELLING]

445
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,644
Remind me to never negotiate with you.

446
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,647
Ah, am I late?

447
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,649
Right on time, sir.

448
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:08,654
Oh, in that case, I've got time to make some phone calls.

449
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:12,658
That is so rude.

450
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,161
Am I late now?

451
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:19,665
Yes, but it's not because you're an inconsiderate dolt.

452
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,167
It's because you're more important than us.

453
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,169
All right, so, what do you have for me?

454
00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:25,671
We need your approval

455
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:26,672
for the name...

456
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:27,673
Wait.

457
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:28,674
[SNIFFS]

458
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,175
The smell of fresh ficus--

459
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:33,178
It transports me back to my youth.

460
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,180
Summers in the Catskill Mountains.

461
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:39,184
Settle in. This could be a long one.

462
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:42,688
VICE PRESIDENT: Ah...we'd all go to Turtle Pond

463
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,189
to swim and laugh

464
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:47,192
and play games amongst the wild ficus.

465
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:51,196
One day

466
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:56,201
tragedy struck.

467
00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:58,704
A turtle made off with my trunks.

468
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,709
I stayed in the water as long as I could

469
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,210
but the water was cold.

470
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,211
Soon...

471
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,714
A crowd formed.

472
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:11,717
They gave me a nickname on the spot--

473
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,719
One that still haunts me.

474
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:14,720
Acorn.

475
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,722
[music]

476
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:20,225
My awful, non-French parents

477
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:23,228
even named their dry cleaning store Acorn.

478
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,230
[CLUCKS]

479
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,738
But that's all in the past. What do you have for me?

480
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:36,742
We just need your approval on our next product name.

481
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:37,743
Salmonella.

482
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,746
Salmonella?

483
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,748
I like it.

484
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:43,749
[GROWLS AND CLUCKS]

485
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:47,753
What?

486
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:48,754
Nothing. No.

487
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:49,755
What's my other choice?

488
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,757
People usually give me two choices.

489
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:54,760
Ah... Seborrhea.

490
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,261
Isn't that a disease?

491
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:57,763
It's a condition.

492
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:58,764
I like the first one.

493
00:19:58,764 --> 00:19:59,765
By this time next year

494
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,767
I want every person in the country

495
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:02,768
to be driving a Salmonella.

496
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,770
It's not necessarily a car.

497
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,271
It's not?

498
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,273
Then why are we giving it a car name?

499
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:09,274
What else do you have?

500
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,777
How about The Gruntmaster?

501
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:12,778
The Gruntmaster.

502
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:15,781
I don't know. It's missing something.

503
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:19,785
Gruntmaster...6000.

504
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:20,786
That's it.

505
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:23,288
Less features than the Gruntmaster 9000

506
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,790
but just as fun.

507
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,291
[ALL SIGHING]

508
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,292
Good work, Dilbert.

509
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,794
Wait.

510
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:29,795
[SNIFFS]

511
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:33,799
Do I detect the faint odor of chicken?

512
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:44,810
DILMOM: Did you come up with a name for your product?

513
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,812
It's a long story.

514
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:48,313
Gruntmaster 6000.

515
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,815
Really?

516
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,817
That doesn't sound like a long story.

517
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:52,818
It is a long story.

518
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,319
I made a suggestion, you took it.

519
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,821
Not so long.

520
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,322
There was a lot more. We had meetings

521
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:59,324
and pre-meetings and...

522
00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:00,826
a dancing acorn--

523
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:01,827
Burned a strip mall

524
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,829
and I almost turned into a chicken.

525
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:06,832
And then you used my suggestion...

526
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,333
Gruntmaster 6000.

527
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,334
Whose turn is it?

528
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,837
You know what I must do now, don't you?

529
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,339
Oh, no. Please, don't.

530
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:20,345
[TRILLING AND CLUCKING]

531
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,357
[music]