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ANNOUNCER: Next, on channel seven...

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America's Favorite Media-Generated Disasters.

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I can't believe you watch this stuff.

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Tonight, we'll show you how one camera crew

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provoked Madonna to break her foot.

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Ow! [BLEEP]

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I think I broke my [BLEEP] foot!

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Do you ever get tired

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of watching bad things happen to people?

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That's crazy talk.

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I mean, don't you think people have enough problems

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without the media creating new ones?

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Sometimes the natural disasters

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aren't spread evenly across the week.

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You need filler.

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Filler?

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Speaking of which,

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how was your day?

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Talk about disasters.

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The executive new product evaluation subcommittee

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has recommended to the executive new product committee

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to push up the deadline on the Gruntmaster 6000 Project

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because of some scurrilous rumor

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that one of our competitors

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allegedly not even in our field--

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Although that can't be confirmed

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because we don't know what field we're in--

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is releasing a similarly-themed product

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that might possibly have some aspect in common with

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or overlap in some slight way

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The Gruntmaster 6000.

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Now the whole thing's got to be ready in three weeks.

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What makes you qualified to be a reporter?

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I'm willing to violate anyone's privacy

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for my personal gain

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and then claim with a straight face

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that the public has a right to know.

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Have you been using me

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as your main source of industry information?

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No, not the MAIN source.

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I also make stuff up.

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For instance, I've started a rumor

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that your company is a front

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for an international organ harvesting cult.

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Organ harvesting cult?

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That's ridiculous.

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Oh, really.

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So, where exactly did you hear about us, folks?

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What do you know-- buy an organ.

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[EXPLOSION]

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[music]

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[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

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MAN: First off, Dilbo,

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we want to tell you what a terrific job

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you've done on the Puntblaster.

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Even Product Industry News SAYS SO.

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They called it "a product worthy of a better company."

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Oh, yeah! Yeah! Excellent!

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Who the man?

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ALL: You the man!

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Thanks. By the way, it's actually called The Gruntmaster.

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Whoa! Look who's getting all proprietary.

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Easy, guy. No point in getting married

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to a name at this stage.

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Come now, one name's as good as another.

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Stop being so rigid.

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You're the one who insisted that the name

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was the most important part of the project.

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I have no recollection of that.

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BOSS: The name is the most important part of the project.

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I cannot emphasize this strongly enough.

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[OTHERS MUMBLING IN AGREEMENT]

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And once we have a name, there's no going back.

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That's my final word.

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Alice, are you getting this all on tape?

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Wow.

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I have a beautiful speaking voice.

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Well, like we said, we think you're 90% there.

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These changes we're thinking of here are purely tweaks.

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Nothing that's going to change the thrust

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of what you're trying to do with this in any, any way.

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I like the way you said "any" twice.

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It shows...you care.

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You care.

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These changes are really up to you.

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They couldn't matter less.

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Feel free to ignore any two of them.

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As long as they're not two of mine.

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[ALL LAUGHING]

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[RETCHING]

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[CHUCKLING] Hear what I'm saying?

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But seriously, Dilb, we need to reach a demographic group

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that you may have overlooked.

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Consumers.

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Right. The people who are going to buy this thing

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are going to want it not just for...

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Whatever the heck it is.

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It's an exercise machine.

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For real?

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How can you possibly market something

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If you don't even know what it is?

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[LAUGHING] Whoa-hoa...

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Put the brakes on the negativity express.

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It's not only possible.

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It's poss-ee-ble.

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All you've got to do

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is give it more attitude.

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Make it more retro, but not antique.

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You know, futuristic, but not techno.

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Sexier.

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But more gender-neutral.

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You see what we're after?

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I think we're all on the same page.

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What page is that?

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We're still on track

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for a spring roll-out, right?

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We have to debut The Gruntmaster

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before the competition gets the jump on us.

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I don't see anything that could stand in our way.

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Sanity, reality, the laws of physics...

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Looks like we're done here.

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Dilbertio, I think I speak for everybody here

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when I say we've got complete confidence

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that you can pull this off.

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But keep in mind we're all huge liars.

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[ALL LAUGHING]

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[RETCHING]

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Oh, my God, this can't be good.

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Look at that.

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It's got a capital letter in the middle

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German spelling, and it's...

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[MUMBLING]

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A thousand higher than ours!

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I've brought it to my attention

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That our biggest competitor, Nirvana Co...

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[PEOPLE GASPING]

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The greatest engineering firm of all time.

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The executives actually listen to what you tell them

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and respond with neither sarcasm nor total incomprehension.

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The rumor is

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they treat you like a human being!

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And I would love to be treated like a human being!

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Just once!

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Here you go, boy.

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We've got a crisis on our hands.

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If they debut their Gruntmeister 7000 in three weeks

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they'll completely dominate the market.

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Don't they already dominate the market?

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If you believe the bible of our industry.

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Anyway, we're going to move the production schedule ahead again.

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What? How can we possibly speed up the schedule any more?

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I've given that a lot of thought.

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Have you?

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No. But nevertheless,

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I realize it would be impossible

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for you people to work any harder than you already are...

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This is going to be bad.

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...or any longer than you already are...

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Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

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So we're going to work... tighter.

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What? Tighter?

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What the heck does that mean?

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Security-- strict, tight security.

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Nirvana Co. seems to know our every move,

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and then beat us to the punch.

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If this phantom insider knows what's going on in Nirvana Co.

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He's sure to be snooping around here.

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Now, our security consultant,

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Mr. Dogbert,

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has outlined a series of strict new protocols

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to ensure nothing leaks out to the media.

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All right, people, listen up.

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Nursery school is over.

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I don't know what you've been doing up until now

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But from now on, things around here

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are going to be done by the book.

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There's going to be full frontal

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and backal strip searches.

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All communication will be done in the form of codes

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which will be changed

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on a daily basis.

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Is there a banjo player in Farmer Johansson's silo?

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A pigeon has no use for keys.

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He opens doors with his song.

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All company documents will be printed on edible paper

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for immediate memorization and consumption.

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This is going to be great.

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What are you talking about?

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It's going to be like living under martial law

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in some kind of postapocalyptic nightmare.

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Exactly. Do you know how desperate women get

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under martial law in some kind of postapocalyptic nightmare?

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I guess I haven't studied it as extensively as you.

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You've got THAT right.

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It was the topic of my graduate thesis.

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Empty your pockets, please.

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All right, move along.

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Nothing to see here.

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[PHONE RINGING]

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Where do you think you're going?

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To get the phone.

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Oh, no. I'm not falling for that one again.

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Okay, fine. I'm going.

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[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]

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Flaming Commando

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to Central Control:

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I have an intruder situation

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In area 4-g-1-1-niner- slash-d-x-p-y-k-25-l-m.

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[PAINED GRUNTING]

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Rainbow, bravo, nylon, delta, tango, foxtrot.

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I nabbed this one trying to escape.

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What?

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Since when is leaving your cubicle

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to use the bathroom escaping?

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Since 2:30 this afternoon.

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Good work, Leonard.

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Why are we here?!

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What have we done wrong?!

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I'll tell you what you've done wrong.

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Someone in this room...

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Is a traitor!

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What are you talking about?

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I'll tell you what I'm talking about.

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Someone in this room leaked information to this magazine

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regarding our new security measures.

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Now, before you go accusing each other,

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let me accuse you.

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Alice!

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You're out of your mind.

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I was going to say,

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"Let me say why it couldn't BE ALICE."

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You see, I've been watching you nonstop

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on the security monitors.

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But we all have those cameras in our cubes.

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Yes, but I've only been watching hers.

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Ooh, that's a relief.

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Can I get back to filing my harassment suit?

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Soon. Now, Wally

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This current state of siege

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is the only chance you will ever, ever HAVE OF SCORING.

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Is that right?

242
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Oh, yeah. Definitely.

243
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No question there. No other way.

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So it would not be in your best interest

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to sabotage such a rare and favorable situation, would it?

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Hey...no, IT wouldn't.

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That leaves Dilbert and Loud Howard.

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I think we'd all agree it's impossible for Howard

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to do anything IN SECRET.

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Why do you say things that you know will hurt me?!

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Which, I'm sorry to say, leaves only one possible suspect:

252
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One who had the means, the motive and the opportunity...

253
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Well, the, uh... the means...

254
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Uh, anyway, it's Dilbert. But--

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Profanity won't help you now, son.

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This is so hard for me to say.

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Actually, it's not. You're fired.

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Clean out your desk and leave.

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But I-- Uh-uh-uh.

260
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But-- N-uh.

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Uh-- D-oh.

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D-oh-- Uh!

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I can't believe this is happening.

264
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You're making a terrible mistake.

265
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I... I'm a model employee.

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But not a WORKING model.

267
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Ooh!

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I wish I were the kind of person

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who didn't stand for this sort of treatment.

270
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:17,243
BOSS: Everybody down.

271
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,744
He's becoming disgruntled!

272
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,749
I can't believe it.

273
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,752
This cubicle has been my sanctuary.

274
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:29,755
Now I'm just a refugee... a cubicle-less nomad

275
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,758
doomed to roam the earth in search of a new oasis

276
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,760
in the harsh corporate wasteland.

277
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,262
Well, you know, as long as you remember

278
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,264
nothing is worth committing suicide over.

279
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,266
I wasn't planning on committing suicide.

280
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,267
Are you sure?

281
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,269
Yes. Think about it, Dilbert.

282
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,271
An eternity of peace. No.

283
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,273
I have Jack Kevorkian's home number.

284
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:48,274
I said no!

285
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,775
Mmm, suit yourself.

286
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:50,276
Dibs on his chair.

287
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,283
MAN: I don't wear boxers.

288
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,789
ANNOUNCER: Tonight, at 11:00--

289
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:07,293
Could a giant squid really eat a major metropolitan area?

290
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,295
Find out how to protect your family.

291
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,297
Why is the news always the same

292
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,299
as the miniseries that was just on?

293
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,800
What are the odds of that?

294
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,802
There's some things you're not meant to know.

295
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,304
I have to get a job.

296
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,805
I've been moping around the house for...

297
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:22,808
12 hours and 27 minutes.

298
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,810
I'm not bothering you, am I?

299
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,312
Being around all the time?

300
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:27,313
It's an adjustment--

301
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,315
In the same sense as, for example

302
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:30,816
being buried alive.

303
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,318
What I'd really like to get

304
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,819
is a job at Nirvana company.

305
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:34,820
I'll take care of it.

306
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,322
Plan to report to work on Monday.

307
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,823
You can get me a job at Nirvana?

308
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,325
How?

309
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,326
That's another one of those things

310
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,329
you're not meant to know.

311
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,830
Maybe I don't want to know.

312
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,841
We were all very impressed

313
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:58,344
with your resume, Dilbert.

314
00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,845
Did I send a resume?

315
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,348
I believe your assistant, a Mr. Dogbert,

316
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,350
was kind enough to forward it.

317
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,851
We usually insist on an interview

318
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,353
before offering a job

319
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:10,356
but how many double Nobel Prize winners does one see?

320
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,857
Ah.

321
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,864
You may have heard we have a different way

322
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,866
of "doing things" around here

323
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,868
that you'll have to get "used to"

324
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:26,372
but I think you'll enjoy the level of "freedom"

325
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,873
we allow our "employees."

326
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,375
"Thank you."

327
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,881
Here's one of our recreation rooms.

328
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,884
As you can see, at Nirvana company

329
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:41,387
employee happiness comes first--

330
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,890
Just like in the space colonies of the future.

331
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,392
Oh, thank you.

332
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,894
I was wondering, would it be at all possible

333
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,397
for me to get on the Gruntmeister 7000 project?

334
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,399
[ALL LAUGHING]

335
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,901
Dilbert, if there were such a project

336
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,903
believe me, I'd not only put you on it

337
00:13:57,903 --> 00:13:59,405
but you'd be the head designer

338
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,408
with a staff of assistants

339
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:03,909
and a budget that would choke a wide-necked animal.

340
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:06,912
What do you mean "if there were such a project"?

341
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:08,914
You must be talking about that article

342
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:10,416
in Product Industry News.

343
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,917
Complete fiction.

344
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,419
I don't know how they get away

345
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,920
with publishing that rubbish

346
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,422
and I certainly can't imagine

347
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,923
anyone taking it seriously.

348
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:20,426
Now, would you like to see your new offices?

349
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:22,428
Offices?

350
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:25,431
I'll leave you to acclimate to your new surroundings.

351
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,932
If you need anything

352
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:30,436
the robots are programmed to respond to your thoughts.

353
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:37,443
I have a door.

354
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,458
I sure do miss him.

355
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,460
Have you talked to him since he left?

356
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,461
Who?

357
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,967
I'm going to need a marrow sample.

358
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,469
Poke away, my good man.

359
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,970
Take as much as you want.

360
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:05,971
Drain me.

361
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,473
Yeow!

362
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,475
Oh, Wally, are you all right?

363
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,478
All right? I hope this never ends.

364
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,993
music Dum-do, dum-dum-do dum-dum, dum-dum-dum music

365
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,495
music Dum-dum, dum-dum-dum  music

366
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,997
music My Sharona music

367
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,999
This is just impossible.

368
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,001
How am I going to get any work done

369
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:37,503
if there's no tension?

370
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,009
I need a new pen.

371
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:52,017
I'd like the forms to requisition a pen, please.

372
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,519
Forms for a pen?

373
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,020
Ultimately, yes,

374
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,022
but we both know it's not gonna be that easy.

375
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,023
Come on in.

376
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,525
Pens are in aisle five.

377
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,026
Take what you need.

378
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:03,028
ANNOUNCER: Floatation tank time

379
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:05,531
will now commence in the main atrium.

380
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,046
Bye-bye.

381
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,054
No line.

382
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:34,560
What are you doing?

383
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,561
Waiting for you to finish.

384
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,062
Well, I might be awhile.

385
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:39,064
You could use one of the other machines.

386
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,567
They're working?

387
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,068
Of course they are.

388
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,573
What kind of madhouse is this?!

389
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:54,580
Hi. Good to see you.

390
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,581
Nice day, isn't it.

391
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,582
What are you working on?

392
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,083
Working?

393
00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:59,585
We've heard a lot about you.

394
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:02,588
I'll bet you're inventing something pretty special.

395
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,590
Uh... yeah.

396
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,592
I'm-- I'm working on a, uh... a barbecue.

397
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,594
An underwater barbecue.

398
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,096
So when you're scuba diving...

399
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,599
Wow! You are good!

400
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,601
I just want to see if it can be done.

401
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,603
I'm sure the marketing department will try to kill it.

402
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:18,604
Marketing department?

403
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,606
I'm not sure we've got one.

404
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,608
Who decides what products to make?

405
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:23,609
Who tells you your ideas

406
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,612
are idiotic wastes of time that aren't commercial?

407
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,614
Doesn't anyone step on your dreams?

408
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,115
Are you feeling okay?

409
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,617
Yes, I'm fine.

410
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,119
I just didn't know how a company can exist

411
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,121
without a marketing department.

412
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,623
Hey, what's wrong, guys?

413
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:38,624
The new guy has an idea

414
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,626
to start a marketing department.

415
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,628
No, not at all. I was just saying

416
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,630
I've never heard of a company without a...

417
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,131
Hello, Dilbert.

418
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,634
I'm the vice-president in charge

419
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,636
of immediately implementing ideas

420
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,638
that may adversely affect the company.

421
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,139
Now, this idea of yours

422
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,642
for a marketing department sounds a bit risky

423
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,143
but here at Nirvana Company

424
00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,145
we pride ourselves on our willingness

425
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,647
to explore new directions.

426
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,649
Until now, it's worked out great.

427
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:07,653
I only hope this isn't the one time I'm calamitously wrong.

428
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:08,654
Well, good day.

429
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:11,657
Uh-oh.

430
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,161
VICE-PRESIDENT: Here's that marketing department you've been

431
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,663
So enthusiastic about, Dilbert.

432
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:19,164
I wouldn't say I was enthusiastic...

433
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,165
Their first recommendation

434
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,667
is we gear up full-speed ahead

435
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,168
to market the underwater barbecue.

436
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:24,670
What?!

437
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,175
Now, first of all, congratulations.

438
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,176
We love this.

439
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:32,678
Just a couple of thoughts.

440
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,180
One: does it have to be underwater?

441
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,182
And two: does it have to be a barbecue?

442
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,687
Isn't that the whole point?

443
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:42,688
Is it?

444
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,690
We need to lose the underwater part.

445
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,191
And the barbecue part.

446
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,192
It goes. 86 it.

447
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,695
But then how do you barbecue underwater?

448
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:50,696
[WOMAN SCREAMING]

449
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,197
Sorry. We couldn't hear you.

450
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:55,200
Your comments were drowned out by a loud shriek from next door.

451
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,202
Next, we're afraid when it comes out of the box

452
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,203
it will make a squeaking sound.

453
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:00,205
You mean from the Styrofoam packing material?

454
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:01,707
It's a loser noise.

455
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,709
That sound tested extremely low.

456
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,210
[SCREAMING AND GUNFIRE]

457
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,712
Are you trying this marketing thing

458
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,213
anywhere else in the company? Or just here?

459
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,715
All over.

460
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:10,716
It's spreading like a virus.

461
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:11,717
I gotta go.

462
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,734
"Nirvana Company, the world's greatest company

463
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,736
"filed for bankruptcy today.

464
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,237
"inexplicable venture...

465
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:33,739
"underwater cooking...

466
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,741
"headquarters destroyed in blaze...

467
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:38,744
"Nirvana company stock fell 180 points

468
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:41,246
"to negative 20 and an eighth.

469
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:44,249
"the company holds

470
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:45,751
A single engineer responsible."

471
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,253
Well, congratulations.

472
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,256
For what? Destroying a 90-year-old company?

473
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:53,258
You're now well-known in your industry.

474
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,761
Fame is more important than competence.

475
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,764
Are you saying I'm more employable as a famous screwup

476
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,766
than I was as a competent nobody?

477
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,267
That's how it works.

478
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,268
I don't see how.

479
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,771
There's some things you're not meant to know.

480
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,775
Well, uh... Dilbert...

481
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,276
[CHUCKLES]

482
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:12,277
I see that

483
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:14,279
your qualifications are impeccable.

484
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:17,783
And even though I myself, or someone very much like me

485
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:20,285
fired you for divulging company secrets

486
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:23,288
I see that you are now a well-known industry figure.

487
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,290
Can I have my old cubicle back?

488
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,292
I guess so.

489
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,293
[CHUCKLES]

490
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:30,295
Yes!

491
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,797
[ALARM SOUNDING]

492
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,298
MAN: You have entered a No-merriment Zone.

493
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:35,801
Discontinue your job satisfaction now.

494
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:38,303
Ah... home.

495
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,307
I'll introduce you around.

496
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:43,308
You'll like Wally.

497
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,811
He's almost completely bald.

498
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,312
Sure.

499
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:48,313
I was wondering...

500
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,815
Hmm?

501
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,817
Seeing as the main competition has gone belly-up

502
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:54,319
are these security precautions still necessary?

503
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,821
You know, you're right.

504
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,823
I can never remember the passwords anyway.

505
00:20:57,823 --> 00:21:00,826
BOSS: Attention, employees, attention--

506
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,327
As of this moment

507
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:05,831
All security procedures are suspended.

508
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,833
Please return to your normal state

509
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,835
of semi-comatose clock-watching.

510
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,837
Oh, thank God.

511
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,338
Finally.

512
00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:14,339
No!

513
00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:21,847
Oh, well, back to work.

514
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,349
[SNORING]

515
00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:36,361
[music]