1 00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:04,070 [music] 2 00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:09,576 I estimate this soap has one more good washing left. 3 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,079 Dang. 4 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,582 It's so small I can't even find it. 5 00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:16,583 What's with the bath? 6 00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:19,085 Did the shower reject you again? 7 00:00:19,085 --> 00:00:21,087 I'm trying to think of a product idea. 8 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,088 I read that Einstein 9 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,090 did his best thinking in the bath. 10 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:25,091 It's the warm water. 11 00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,594 That's the same theory behind instant soup. 12 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,096 Would you mind not staring at me? 13 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,599 Uh, what's the camera for? 14 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:35,602 That's my voice-activated, motion-sensitive 15 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,103 hovering Dilcamcorder 16 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:39,606 specially designed to record my brilliant ideas. 17 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:42,108 Oh, I hope that's what that's for. 18 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:43,610 I'm sitting in water. 19 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,612 I can't use my laptop computer. 20 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,614 Hmm. So that's your story. 21 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:48,615 Yes, it is. 22 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:49,616 As an engineer, 23 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,117 obviously you know 24 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,620 that a bathtub is the least efficient form of bathing. 25 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,622 I'm thinking up ideas. 26 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,123 You're sitting in your own filth. 27 00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:58,625 Some of it's in the water. 28 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,627 It's kind of like rinsing your fruit 29 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,128 in the sewer to wash the pesticides off. 30 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,631 Okay. Bath is over. 31 00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:10,136 Ugh. Why don't you invent a product 32 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:12,639 that keeps your skin from wrinkling after a bath? 33 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,641 Kind of a de-pruner. 34 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:17,644 Dogbert, that is the vainest, most superficial idea 35 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:18,645 I've ever heard. 36 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:19,646 Thank you. 37 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,147 I don't want to de-prune people. 38 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:24,651 I want to make the world a better place to live in. 39 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,153 Is this where you thought up your invention 40 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:28,655 that reversed global warming? 41 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,657 Yes. The bath water helps me think. 42 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:33,159 And why are you filming yourself? 43 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,160 I told you. 44 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,662 I can't use the laptop in the bath. 45 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,664 So, you're sticking to that story? 46 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:38,665 Yes, I am. 47 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,667 You know, you're sitting in your own filth. 48 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,669 I'm trying to think of an invention 49 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:43,670 to fix that too. 50 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:47,173 I think it's called the SHOWER. 51 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:51,177 This fantasy's been a profound disappointment. 52 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,685 [music] 53 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,191 [CHANTING] Ooh, ah, oh, chee! 54 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,193 Ooh, ah, oh, chee! 55 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,695 Ooh, ah, oh, chee! 56 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,196 Ooh, ah, oh, chee! 57 00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:11,698 Ooh, ah, oh, chee! 58 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,700 Ooh, ah, oh, chee! 59 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,233 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] 60 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,245 [CARS HONKING] 61 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,252 Ooh, yuck! 62 00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,254 WOMAN'S VOICE: All pedestrians eliminated. 63 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,255 Game over. 64 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,257 Can we do some work now? 65 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:12,258 One more game. 66 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:13,760 I think I can get to the rest home 67 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,261 if I blow up the day care center. 68 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,764 Welcome to pedestrian outrage. 69 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:21,267 Remember, I'm the only woman who loves you. 70 00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,769 Registered user: Wally. 71 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,270 He's hooked. 72 00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,774 We're on a deadline here. 73 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:28,775 We need to design 74 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,777 the company's new flagship product 75 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:31,778 and we need it yesterday. 76 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:32,779 Yesterday? 77 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,781 Then it's already too late. 78 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:35,782 Which means... 79 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,283 Yes! One more game. 80 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:41,788 Everything's been invented. 81 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:42,789 No, it hasn't. 82 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,290 A time machine. 83 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:45,792 That's just one example. 84 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:48,294 [SIGHS] All right. Let's go with a time machine. 85 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,295 [TRUCK HORN BLARES] 86 00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:51,297 [CRASH] 87 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:52,799 Well, that's it. 88 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,801 I'm inured to violence now. 89 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:58,805 [HUMMING] 90 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:01,307 Well, how's the prototype coming? 91 00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,309 Hmm? 92 00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,311 A rotating cube. 93 00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,813 I like it. 94 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,314 Can we be first to market? 95 00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:09,816 That's a screen saver. 96 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,818 Save the technical mumbo jumbo. 97 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,320 I just want to know if it'll work. 98 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,322 It'll work, but everyone already has one. 99 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,323 That's no good. 100 00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:18,825 What else do you have? 101 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,827 We were tossing around the idea of a time machine. 102 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,829 Well, you'd better get going on that. 103 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:25,331 I've heard there's a rival engineering department 104 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,333 right here in our own organization 105 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,835 moving into our turf 106 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,837 and developing their own prototype. 107 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:31,838 Just out of curiosity 108 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,339 who's running the other department? 109 00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:36,843 Lena. 110 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,847 Lena? You mean there really is a Lena? 111 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,349 I always thought she was just a myth. 112 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,851 She's more than a myth. 113 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,353 She's like the Xena of engineers. 114 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,355 I heard when she was attending Wellesley 115 00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:52,859 as a foreign exchange student, there was an incident 116 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,862 where she severed a couple of classmates' heads 117 00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:58,364 with a hockey stick. 118 00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:02,368 None of the witnesses ever talked about that day. 119 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:03,369 If no one talked 120 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:04,871 how do we all know the story? 121 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,372 I read it on her Web page. 122 00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:07,874 Uh-oh. 123 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,375 I heard a rumor 124 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,377 that she steals the ideas of other engineers 125 00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:13,880 then cuts off their heads so they can't talk. 126 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,882 I like Wally's story better. 127 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,384 Anyway, no shame in being a runner-up. 128 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:21,387 After all, Albany is BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR. 129 00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:22,889 ALL: Albany? 130 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,891 Whoever designs the next prototype 131 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,392 will need more floor space. 132 00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:27,894 I'll have to relocate 133 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,395 the unproductive engineers 134 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,397 to our facility in Albany. 135 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:32,398 [WIND WHISTLING] 136 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:40,907 [TYPING] 137 00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,409 Hey, look at this, Alice. 138 00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,411 "Home Liposuction Kit." 139 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:48,915 You could take one of these babies and-- Ooh! 140 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,416 We're doomed. 141 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:53,419 Lena's team is probably half-done with their prototype. 142 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,420 We don't even have an idea. 143 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,922 Lena is totally overrated. 144 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,423 We can beat her. 145 00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:58,925 I don't care if most of the engineers 146 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,426 have gone over to her side. 147 00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:01,427 Lena's team is so big, 148 00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,929 you could get lost in the crowd 149 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,430 and never have to lift a finger. 150 00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:07,934 ALICE: They might get the big raises and the party atmosphere 151 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,436 but they'll never know the satisfaction that comes 152 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:11,938 from really hard work. 153 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,943 You could have worded that better. 154 00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,951 [TIRES SCREECHING] 155 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:25,952 Can I help you? 156 00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:27,954 I've got to get to work and you're blocking me. 157 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,456 Although it might seem that way on the surface 158 00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:32,959 in reality, it's you that's blocking yourself. 159 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:33,960 You're right. 160 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,461 How do you know that? 161 00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,963 It's what I do. 162 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,464 You're a garbage man. 163 00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:39,465 Exactly. 164 00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:41,968 Well, can you at least move the truck? 165 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:42,969 It is moving. 166 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,471 It only seems like it's standing still. 167 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:48,474 By the way, thanks for recycling. 168 00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:07,493 [STRAINED] Lena. 169 00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,495 [FOREIGN ACCENT] Dilbert, I am so very sorry. 170 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:11,998 You must have been in my blind spot. 171 00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,000 I was right in front of you. 172 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,501 Exactly. 173 00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,003 You look so pale and sickly. 174 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:21,507 That's because I can't...breathe. 175 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,009 [PANTING] 176 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,011 I cannot tell you how excited I am 177 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:28,014 for the opportunity to work on a prototype 178 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,515 against such a pro like yourself. 179 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:30,516 Me? 180 00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:33,019 I am a huge FAN OF YOUR WORK. 181 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:36,022 You are? 182 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,523 I only hope I can come up 183 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:40,026 with something half as brilliant as you... 184 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:43,529 because I'm sure as hell not going to Albany. 185 00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:47,033 You know, you're slightly more friendly than I imagined. 186 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,034 Really? 187 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,035 You don't say. 188 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:51,537 I mean, all the gossip 189 00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:53,539 about how cutthroat and Machiavellian you are. 190 00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:56,042 Well, you know how people exaggerate. 191 00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,044 And the rumors about Fred-- 192 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,546 the engineer who mysteriously disappeared 193 00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:02,048 after his project went up against yours? 194 00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:05,551 Yes. Rumors. All rumors. 195 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:08,054 Unless a witness comes forward. 196 00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,561 DILBERT: Hmm. 197 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:17,563 What did you bring for lunch? 198 00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:19,565 Oh, salad. 199 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,068 [SIGHS] 200 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,569 She touched me. 201 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:26,072 Hey, great. You're finally getting into it. 202 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,573 What'd you come up with? 203 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,075 It's nothing. Nothing yet. 204 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:31,077 Still a work in progress. 205 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,578 Give me a few minutes to clean it up. 206 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:35,081 Look. There's no time for niceties. 207 00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,582 We're on a deadline. 208 00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:37,583 Just let me see. 209 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,584 What the heck? 210 00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,586 "Oh Lena Sweet Lena 211 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,088 "A female divinity 212 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:46,592 My passions exceed Pi R-squared times infinity"? 213 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,594 Have you lost your mind? 214 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:51,597 That is not only the most nauseating thing 215 00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:52,598 I've ever read 216 00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,600 It's meaningless if R is undefined. 217 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,102 Poetic license. 218 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,104 Man, she must have blown some smoke 219 00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,605 up your butt. 220 00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:02,108 Did she use a giant fan or just some kind of hose? 221 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,109 I think you're jealous. 222 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,610 Jealous? 223 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,613 I think I speak for all women capable of reproduction 224 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,115 when I say...no. 225 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,117 What's a word that rhymes with gradient? 226 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,119 She is sabotaging us. 227 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,621 Have you ever been to Albany? 228 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:16,622 Gradient...gradient... 229 00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:17,623 Radiant. 230 00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:19,625 I can't believe I'm saying this 231 00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:23,129 but I think we were better off when Wally was here. 232 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,131 We actually need him. 233 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,632 Ugh! 234 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,636 [MUFFLED CHEERING] 235 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,639 Wally? 236 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,142 Yes? 237 00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:38,144 Wally, it's us. 238 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,147 So it is. 239 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,148 He doesn't recognize us. 240 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,649 Of course he does. 241 00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:46,152 Wally, old pal, we need you to come back to the team. 242 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,654 I am not of your team. 243 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,156 I am of Team Lena. 244 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,157 Praise Lena. 245 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,658 Snap out of it, you half-wit. 246 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:54,160 [GRUNTS] 247 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:58,164 Pain. Lena said there would be pain for those who leave. 248 00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,665 I see she was right 249 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:02,668 but I only left to go to the bathroom. 250 00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:03,669 Lena, I'm coming back! 251 00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,171 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 252 00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,672 Wally, it's Dilbert and Alice. 253 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,174 Don't you remember us? 254 00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,676 You...you were from the before time 255 00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:13,179 when I was not of Team Lena. 256 00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,180 Praise Lena. 257 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:17,183 Lena, I return to you! 258 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:21,187 I swear I will never use the men's room again! 259 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,690 Boy, he's got it bad. 260 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:27,693 The worse part is I like him better this way. 261 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,195 Hey, look at that. 262 00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:32,198 She's holding me up as an example to her team. 263 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,200 I told you she respects me. 264 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:38,204 My people, behold the anti-me. 265 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,706 [AUDIENCE JEERING] 266 00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,708 Victory is not enough. 267 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:45,711 We must destroy our opponent. 268 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,214 We will not only build a better prototype, 269 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,216 we will build it 270 00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:55,221 upon the crushed bones and torn flesh of Dilbert! 271 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,722 [CHEERING] 272 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:08,234 Dilbert, how wonderful to see you here. 273 00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,235 Alice. 274 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,736 Lena. 275 00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:12,238 We were just passing by. 276 00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,740 Look, Dilly, I was wondering 277 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:17,243 if you weren't doing anything later 278 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:19,245 maybe we could get together 279 00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,247 and talk about...things. 280 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:24,750 [STAMMERING] Oh, uh, sure. Yeah. 281 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,252 My-my cubicle is... 282 00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,253 No, no, no, no, no. 283 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,254 Not here at the office. 284 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,755 I was thinking perhaps 285 00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,757 your place. 286 00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,759 [STAMMERING] 287 00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,261 Dilbert! 288 00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,262 Yes? 289 00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:37,263 Around 7? 290 00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,265 Great. See you tonight. 291 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:40,266 I got a date. 292 00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,268 I got a date! 293 00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:43,769 I got a date! 294 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,271 Hoo-hoo! Yeah! 295 00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,273 ASOK: Package for you, Alice. 296 00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,287 Let's see. 297 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,789 Lena's plate is at positive point five longitude, 298 00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:05,291 negative three latitude. 299 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:08,294 My plate is at positive point five longitude 300 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,296 Positive three point latitude. 301 00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:13,299 Lena's fork is at positive two point five longitude 302 00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,800 negative three latitude. 303 00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:17,803 Lena's fork. 304 00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:22,308 Decapitate Dilbert, steal idea, 305 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,810 two quarts milk, a box of meusli. 306 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,818 Mm. I hate Origami. 307 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:36,322 I have a date. 308 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,323 Boy, that was weird. 309 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,325 I thought you said you had a date. 310 00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,326 Want to buy a tape? 311 00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:44,830 I'm kind of busy right now. 312 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:45,831 Half off. 313 00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,334 Two for one. 314 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,335 Supplies are limited. 315 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,337 Goodbye, Dogbert. 316 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:54,340 Lena, long time, no see. 317 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,841 Dogbert, always a pleasure. 318 00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,345 Hello, Dilbert. 319 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,846 [VOICE QUAVERING] Oh. 320 00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,848 Lena. Did you have any trouble 321 00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:03,849 finding the place? 322 00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,851 No, the global positioning coordinates 323 00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:06,852 you gave were perfect. 324 00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:08,354 Well, come in. Sit down. 325 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,356 Can I get you something to drink? 326 00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,861 Yes. I'll have a Triple Brandy Alexander 327 00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,364 with an Easter Island Sunset chaser. 328 00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,366 A wha...? 329 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:23,369 How are those drinks coming, Dilly? 330 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:27,373 Any minute now, my Swedish, uh, meatball. 331 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,874 Crap. 332 00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:30,376 Crud. 333 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,377 Idiocy. 334 00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:32,878 Garbage. 335 00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:33,879 Nothing. 336 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,881 Where would that imbecile keep his notes? 337 00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:46,392 [SWITCHES ON] 338 00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:49,895 It's so small I, I... I can't even find it. 339 00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:52,898 That's more than I needed to know. 340 00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,900 [FAST-FORWARD VIDEO GARBLE] 341 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,402 DOGBERT: Why don't you invent a product 342 00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,904 that keeps your skin from wrinkling after a bath? 343 00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,406 Kind of a de-pruner? 344 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,408 It could work. 345 00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:05,411 It could just work. 346 00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,912 You want that-- 347 00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:09,915 [TIRES SCREECHING] 348 00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:10,916 to go? 349 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:25,931 Lena! 350 00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:39,445 Holy mother of... 351 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,446 Hello? 352 00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:57,463 [GASPS] 353 00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,467 Oh, my God. Fred, is that you? 354 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,468 Dilbert. 355 00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:03,469 Yes. 356 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,470 Dilbert, this is Joe 357 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,971 Frank, Ed, and Larry. 358 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,473 Hi, how you doing? Hi, Dilbert. 359 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,474 Nice to meet you. 360 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,476 Get out while you still can. 361 00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:11,477 Get out? 362 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,978 Yes, get out. 363 00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:15,981 Can't you see? We're severed heads in a jar. 364 00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:17,483 Maybe it didn't work out with you guys, 365 00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:19,985 but that doesn't mean it won't work out with me. 366 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:20,986 She really likes ME. 367 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,488 HEADS: That's what she said to me. 368 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,490 She said that to all of us. 369 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,992 Oh. 370 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,997 There you are. 371 00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:34,500 What took you so long? 372 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,001 What took me so long? 373 00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:47,012 You built this VCR from broken parts? 374 00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,013 Of a washing machine. 375 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:52,518 It's so small, I can't even find it. 376 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,521 Hey, where'd you get that? 377 00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,022 I got it used at a swap meet. 378 00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,023 I think you should know 379 00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:00,526 this transdermal hydro-elastic regenerator 380 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:03,028 is well within the realm of possibility. 381 00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:04,029 You mean the de-pruner? 382 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,031 Take a look. 383 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,034 Well, what do you know? 384 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:12,037 By increasing the gaseous conduction analyzer 385 00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,539 and factoring in the shift 386 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:16,041 of the gyroscopic stabilizer... Huh. 387 00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:17,543 It's obvious... 388 00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:18,544 in retrospect. 389 00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:21,046 A bona fide cell recycling machine. 390 00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,548 Well, I'll be. 391 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:23,549 Actually... 392 00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,050 you already are. 393 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:26,552 I don't know what to say. 394 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:27,553 I'm not surprised. 395 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:28,554 Can I have this? 396 00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,055 What am I going to do with it? 397 00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:31,056 I'm a garbage man. 398 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,564 [MACHINE POWERING UP] 399 00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:41,066 [HORN SOUNDING] 400 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,070 Yes. A cell recycling machine. 401 00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,572 Pretty darn spiffy. 402 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:50,075 Team Lena is going down. 403 00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,577 Must one person's triumph 404 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,078 be another's humiliation? 405 00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:54,580 Of course. 406 00:16:57,082 --> 00:17:01,086 LENA: We stand at the dawning of a new age 407 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:04,590 where man transcends his mortality 408 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,592 and becomes Superman. 409 00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,594 Yeah, and I'm Batgirl. Get on with it. 410 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:09,595 Shh! 411 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,097 And so, I present to you 412 00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:15,601 the eighth wonder of the world 413 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,102 the de-pruner. 414 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,105 [AUDIENCE GASPS] 415 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,106 Oh. 416 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:25,110 36 hours! 417 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:28,614 36 hours immersed in water. 418 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,115 I can't feel my legs. 419 00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:32,117 Now...behold! 420 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:04,149 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 421 00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:16,161 We better rent Ironweed. 422 00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,663 Hey, Wally! 423 00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,664 I got your trunks! 424 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,165 Woo! 425 00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,667 But the best part 426 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:26,171 is what my invention can do for your sex lives! 427 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,173 It's so small, 428 00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:29,675 I can't even find it. 429 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,677 Oh, yes. 430 00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,179 De-pruning is the ultimate aphrodisiac 431 00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:37,182 for married couples only, of course. 432 00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:39,685 She's making me think of sex 433 00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:42,187 at the same time I see you naked. 434 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:47,192 Now I've got Dilbert and sex in the same part of my brain! 435 00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:50,195 Ow! Ow! Ow! Get it out! 436 00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:51,697 You made this happen. 437 00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,699 You made me think of Dilbert 438 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,200 and sex at the same time! 439 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,703 You've ruined sex for me! 440 00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,204 Forever! 441 00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:00,706 I'm starting to be insulted. 442 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,708 Lena must pay! 443 00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,230 [HUMMING] 444 00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:26,732 Ho! 445 00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,735 Ho! 446 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,237 Our special today is an angry horde of rioters 447 00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,239 who will trample you and your date. 448 00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:35,240 Ooh, I'll have that-- 449 00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,754 Oh, forgive me, madam. 450 00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,255 I had no-- Honey? 451 00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,257 Darling, I can explain. 452 00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,260 Hey, that's some deal. 453 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,261 Yeah, I'll take two. 454 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:07,272 Kind of funny how things turn out. 455 00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:10,275 I haven't lost yet, buddy boy. 456 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:11,777 I'll cut off your head 457 00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:15,280 and send your scrawny girlfriend Alice to Albany. 458 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,281 Girlfriend? 459 00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:20,285 Me? His? 460 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:21,286 Have you gone mad? 461 00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,788 She's nuts. 462 00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:24,289 75% off. 463 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,291 Last chance before they're pulled from the market 464 00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:29,294 repackaged as a deluxe edition and then put back on THE MARKET. 465 00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,297 [MURMURING INDISTINCTLY] 466 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:44,810 I've got images in my brain I'll never get out! 467 00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,322 I knew I shouldn't have added that option. 468 00:20:57,322 --> 00:21:00,826 [LENA SHRIEKS] 469 00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:03,328 Well, better this than Albany. 470 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:09,334 I wonder how this shows up on our head count report. 471 00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,336 [CHUCKLING] 472 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,848 [LAUGHING] 473 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,853 DOGBERT: Feeling inadequate? 474 00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,856 Not measuring up to the other guys? 475 00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,858 Well, you're probably right. 476 00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:35,861 So give me $29.95 and I guarantee 477 00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:37,863 you'll feel a lot better. 478 00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:43,869 It's so small, I can't even find it. 479 00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:44,870 [GASPS] 480 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,872 I can't even find it. I MEANT SOAP. 481 00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:49,374 I was talking about soap. 482 00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:50,876 Wasn't it obvious? 483 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:52,377 I was talking about soap. 484 00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:53,879 Soap! 485 00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:03,388 [music]