1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,070 [music] 2 00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,082 Mmm, do you think 3 00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,585 normal people pack suitcases this way? 4 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,587 I'm an engineer, not a normal person. 5 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:21,588 That's a lot of clothes 6 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,590 just to visit a sweatshop in Elbonia. 7 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:24,591 It's not a sweatshop. 8 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:25,592 It's our overseas 9 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,594 manufacturing facility. 10 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,096 Look at the company newsletter. 11 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:31,598 See? They're all smiling. 12 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,100 And your assignment is to make them stop? 13 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,102 If you must know, my team's being sent there 14 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:37,604 to oversee quality control 15 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:40,106 on the production of my pride and joy: 16 00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,108 The Gruntmaster 6000. 17 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,110 Well, while you're there, maybe you can help them 18 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:45,111 develop a written language. 19 00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:47,614 You're living in the past, my furry friend. 20 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:49,616 Capitalism has transformed Elbonia. 21 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,618 The economy is burgeoning. 22 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:52,619 Nothing like slave labor 23 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:53,620 to perk up the economy. 24 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,625 They're making many advances. 25 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:01,127 For instance, did you realize 26 00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:03,630 The leading cause of death in Elbonia 27 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,632 is no longer black plague. 28 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:06,633 Oh, really? 29 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:09,135 What is? 30 00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:14,140 Here we go-- it's... "self-inflicted gunshot wounds"? 31 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,642 Must be a typo. 32 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,644 [BANGING] 33 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,148 Excuse me. 34 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,652 What are you doing? 35 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:26,653 I'm rattling the cans. 36 00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:27,654 People expect it. 37 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,657 Can I ask you a question? 38 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,659 As long as it's refuse-related. 39 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,160 Oh, it is-- what are the odds 40 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,663 that Dilbert can visit a factory in Elbonia 41 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:37,664 and return alive? 42 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:40,667 Oh, I'd say 73- to-one against. 43 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,670 90-to-one if he flies on Elbonia Airlines. 44 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,672 300-to-one if he uses 45 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:46,673 the bathroom in the plane. 46 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:47,674 That's about what I figured. 47 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,676 Dilbert's only hope is to remain objective 48 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,178 and ignore the plight of the Elbonian people. 49 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,180 If he or any member of his team gets involved 50 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,182 in their internal affairs or culture... 51 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,685 Well, I'd rather not think about it. 52 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,692 That's a problem-- he likes to fix things. 53 00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,694 Well, in that case, he'll need the help 54 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,696 of someone who's incapable of sympathy. 55 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,198 Someone so cynical that the suffering of others 56 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:14,701 is nothing but a source of cheap entertainment. 57 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,703 All right, I'll go. 58 00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,204 I have something that might help you. 59 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,207 Here. 60 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,715 By the way, what's the weather like 61 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,717 in Elbonia this time of year? 62 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,219 Why are you so suddenly interested in Elbonia? 63 00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:35,221 Oh, I have my reasons. 64 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,726 Hmm... a license to kill. 65 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:42,729 It's better-- you can steal too. 66 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,732 [EXPLOSION] 67 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:40,787 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] 68 00:03:57,303 --> 00:04:01,307 [SHAKY AUDIO] Elbonians enjoy skiing all year round 69 00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,309 Except when they're sipping hot toddies 70 00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:04,310 at the chalet. 71 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,312 Cheers. 72 00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,814 Then it's "surf's up!" 73 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:11,317 Along one of Elbonia's many pristine beaches. 74 00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,819 Awesome, dude! 75 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:16,823 You'll find five of the seven great wonders of the world 76 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,825 all within easy access 77 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,326 by shuttle bus. 78 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,327 And when you're done 79 00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,829 The whole family can relax 80 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:25,331 at our world-famous casinos. 81 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,333 And don't forget mud wrestling. 82 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,836 Hey, no fighting dirty! 83 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,839 In Elbonia, we never close. 84 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,843 And so, from sunny, snowy, culturally-enriched Elbonia, 85 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,845 we bid you ta-ta-- 86 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:42,849 That's Elbonian for "ta-ta." 87 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,851 How the heck does this thing work? 88 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,352 Where's the needle? 89 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,854 There is no needle. 90 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,856 No wonder I can't turn it off. 91 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:53,359 [RINGING] 92 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,861 Yes? 93 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:55,862 He's not here. 94 00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,864 Was it for me? No. 95 00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,366 Are you sure Elbonia is the best place 96 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:01,868 to take my vacation? 97 00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,369 Have I ever lied to you? 98 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:04,370 And later been detected? 99 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,873 When I went to Mexico, you told me to drink 100 00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:08,875 as much of the water as I could. 101 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,377 That's the exception that proves the rule. 102 00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:12,378 Is that WHAT THAT IS? 103 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:13,880 I'll book your flight to Elbonia. 104 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:14,881 Thank you. 105 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,382 When you get there 106 00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,884 remember to wear lots of jewelry 107 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,386 and walk around alone at night. 108 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:33,399 Isn't this exciting? 109 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,400 I said, 110 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,902 isn't this exciting? 111 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,403 I couldn't hear you. 112 00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,906 I was listening to the audio program, 113 00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,908 "The Sound of Screaming." 114 00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,410 [SCREAMING] 115 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,412 I don't know why it takes three of us 116 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:47,914 to inspect one Elbonian factory. 117 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:48,915 We're a team. 118 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,416 Besides, I thought you liked 119 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:51,918 getting out of the office. 120 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:54,420 You don't know me as well as you think. 121 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,923 This is the first time I've ever flown first class. 122 00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:57,924 Kind of spoils you. 123 00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,425 I feel sorry 124 00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:00,426 for those people in coach. 125 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,932 I wonder what the movie is. 126 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:19,445 That is our notorious 127 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:22,448 prison of no escape. 128 00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:25,451 And that is our world-famous health spa. 129 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,955 I don't know why 130 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,457 But I feel a mystical connection to this place. 131 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,961 Mmm, mud pie. Good. 132 00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,472 The mud is calling me. 133 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,474 I'll see you later. 134 00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,977 [LAUGHING] 135 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:54,981 We're here. 136 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,482 Where? 137 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,985 Welcome to the Hotel Elbonia. 138 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,498 Sorry, you can't park there. 139 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,501 Diplomatic immunity, my friend. 140 00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:16,502 Now tear up the ticket. 141 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,505 Now eat it. 142 00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:22,008 Now regurgitate it. 143 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,509 Good. 144 00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,011 Wow. Just because you're a diplomat 145 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:27,013 you can park anywhere you want? 146 00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,514 That's nothing. Watch this. 147 00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:31,017 Gun. 148 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:40,026 Now dance for your diplomat. Dance! 149 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,530 Now Riverdance. 150 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:51,037 How did you become the diplomat to Elbonia? 151 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,038 I was the only one 152 00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,539 who applied for the job. 153 00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,541 This isn't exactly Monaco. 154 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,043 Diplomatic immunity. 155 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,051 MAN:, With all due respect 156 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,053 the natives in my country 157 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,555 are a primitive and superstitious people. 158 00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:13,559 They believe that every time you take their picture 159 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,061 you take their soul. 160 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,562 Gotcha. Smile! 161 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:18,564 Aah! What did I just tell you?! 162 00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:21,567 Hey, hi. 163 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,069 What an odd- looking people. 164 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,570 It's US... FROM work. 165 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:25,571 Remember? 166 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,073 If only I spoke your language. 167 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,075 Do you know where the pool is? 168 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,576 The pool? 169 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,078 Swimmy, swimmy? 170 00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:35,081 Ignorant wogs. 171 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,586 DILBERT: Wow... 172 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,089 The Gruntmaster 6000. 173 00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:46,592 MAN: That's the first one off the assembly line. 174 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:49,595 My prototype. 175 00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,097 [MOANING WITH PLEASURE] 176 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,102 And this is where 177 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,105 we house the generators that power the factory. 178 00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,606 As you can see, 179 00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:03,609 incentive programs motivate our workers 180 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:05,611 to put forth their best efforts. 181 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:08,114 Why don't they get off the bicycles and walk around 182 00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,615 to get the pork chop? 183 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:11,617 Shut up! That's crazy talk! 184 00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:12,618 Don't listen to her! 185 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:17,123 These working conditions are appalling! 186 00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,125 Our appalling working conditions 187 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,126 are second to none. 188 00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,129 And over here 189 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:26,132 is where the main housing for The Gruntmaster is forged. 190 00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,140 Shouldn't there be a guardrail around that? 191 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,141 Guardrail? 192 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,142 [LAUGHING] 193 00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:38,644 What is this, an amusement park? 194 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,646 Hey, you stupid, lazy Lefties, 195 00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:43,149 show's over-- back to work. 196 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,150 Lefties? 197 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,151 Yes, of course-- 198 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,652 That's all they're good for. 199 00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,654 If it wasn't for the Right Man 200 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,656 these Lefties would have nothing. 201 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,658 They'd still be sitting in the mud. 202 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:55,161 Right people founded this country. 203 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,164 We built this country up from small mud hole 204 00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,665 to a gigantic mud hole! 205 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:01,667 We made this country what it is. 206 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,170 God bless Right Elbonia! 207 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,172 So where do all the Right people work? 208 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,174 In management. 209 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,677 And this is where The Gruntmaster 210 00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,179 is actually assembled. 211 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:29,695 As you can see, our daycare facilities are second to none. 212 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:36,702 You can't put babies to work on an assembly line! 213 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,204 These are not babies. 214 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,705 They're toddlers. 215 00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:40,706 Oh... 216 00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:43,209 You're coming home with me. 217 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,211 I didn't know you wanted children, Alice. 218 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:47,713 I didn't, until this moment. 219 00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:50,716 How about now? 220 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,219 Are those people dead? 221 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,221 Technically, yes. 222 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,722 But that's no excuse! 223 00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:59,725 Get to work, you lazy corpse. 224 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,727 I've never seen anything so barbaric. 225 00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:04,230 How can the Lefties tolerate it? 226 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,231 We have an excellent benefits plan. 227 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,732 Like what? 228 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,734 If you die, you get time off to attend your funeral. 229 00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,236 That's it? 230 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,238 And the salary of five Grubnicks a month. 231 00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,739 That's less than a penny. 232 00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:14,740 I beg your pardon. 233 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,742 It's MUCH less than a penny. 234 00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:20,246 Our motto is that work is its own reward. 235 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,747 Heyaa! 236 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,258 Here you go, little fella. 237 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,759 Open wide. 238 00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:39,265 [CHUCKLING] 239 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:40,766 We've got to do something 240 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,268 about the factory conditions. 241 00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:43,269 I'd love to help 242 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,770 but I've got a baby to take care of. 243 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,774 All right, I just don't want to, okay? 244 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,776 So as I was saying, Your Excellency, 245 00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:51,777 we're very proud 246 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,779 to have The Gruntmaster built in Elbonia, 247 00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:56,782 but the working conditions in the factory are abysmal. 248 00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:57,783 A what? 249 00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:58,784 Abysmal. 250 00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,286 I've never heard of that word. 251 00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,787 Unconscionable? No. 252 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:02,788 Heinous? 253 00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:03,789 Mm-mm. 254 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,296 What? 255 00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:14,800 You seem to lean left, my friend. 256 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:19,305 [GUNS COCKING] 257 00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,306 [CLEARS THROAT] 258 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,308 Check, please? 259 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:35,821 The ancient burial lumps are closed. 260 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,323 I'm not here for the tour. 261 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:38,324 I'm looting. 262 00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,326 Diplomatic immunity. 263 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,327 Oh. 264 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,828 Have a nice day. 265 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,335 I can't believe no one wanted this job. 266 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,338 It rained for 40 days and 40 nights, 267 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,841 and then, naturally, there was a ton of mud. 268 00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:57,843 And that's the story of Noah's mud. 269 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,347 Tomorrow, Adam and Eve 270 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,848 and the Garden of Mud. 271 00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,350 Wally, I need your help. 272 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:07,853 Old helpful Wally doesn't exist anymore, Dilbert. 273 00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:10,356 This is my life now, Dilbert. 274 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,358 I am one with the mud. 275 00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,859 I am THE MUD. 276 00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:14,860 The mud is me. 277 00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,862 I'm naked and I'm muddy 278 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:19,865 and I'm Wally, and it's all the same. 279 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:23,369 From mud I came and to mud I have returned. 280 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,870 You came from mud? 281 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,872 I don't know. Whatever. 282 00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:28,874 Wally, you can't spend your life in the mud. 283 00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:31,877 Surrender to the Elbonian mud, Dilbert. 284 00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:35,381 There's no right and wrong, just shades of brown. 285 00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,386 Have you filled out the forms? 286 00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,887 Yes. 287 00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:46,892 Uh-oh. 288 00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:47,893 What? 289 00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:49,895 It says here, that you are right-handed. 290 00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,897 So? The official Elbonian 291 00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:55,401 adoption policy does not permit mixed-arm-preference adoptions. 292 00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:56,902 It is not fair to the child. 293 00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,404 I switch hit in softball. 294 00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,406 Let's hope that's enough. 295 00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:04,910 Now, fill these out. 296 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,424 Hi. 297 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,925 Don't mind me. 298 00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:22,928 We are the Elbonian Left-handed Liberation Front 299 00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,430 and slow-pitch softball team. 300 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:25,931 Maybe we should talk. 301 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,933 I think that's what we're doing. 302 00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:30,936 I mean we should talk about your working conditions. 303 00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,938 We can talk during the break. 304 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:33,939 When's that? 305 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:36,942 There it is. 306 00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,444 How can you work like this? 307 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,445 Why don't you demand 308 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,946 better working conditions? 309 00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,448 What can we do? 310 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,950 The world is stacked against the left-handed people. 311 00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,452 The books are right-handed. 312 00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,953 The staplers are right-handed. 313 00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:49,455 The desks, tape, bottles, phones. 314 00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,956 I'm pretty sure you can use 315 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,958 any of those things with either hand. 316 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,960 That's what they want you to think. 317 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,462 If you're going to change anything 318 00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:57,463 you're gonna have to organize. 319 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,466 Now you've lost us. 320 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:01,467 You know, form a Union. 321 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,469 It's called collective bargaining. 322 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,970 If your demands aren't met, you... 323 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,472 Forget about them? 324 00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,474 No, you strike. 325 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,976 You refuse to work until you get better conditions. 326 00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:15,481 We'll do it. 327 00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:18,484 We'll follow your leadership and strike. 328 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,985 And when the Righties execute you, 329 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,987 we will make small plastic statues 330 00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:23,489 in your likeness. 331 00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:24,490 Look at 'em. 332 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,491 Look at 'em slaving away 333 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,992 like pack mules. 334 00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,494 This'll make a great shot. 335 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,995 Hey! Everybody! 336 00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:30,996 Wave at the camera! 337 00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,008 Okay! 338 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,511 You know, I'm standing right in front of you. 339 00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,514 Okay, here's my final offer. 340 00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,015 Designated smoke breaks 341 00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:52,017 for anyone who catches fire. 342 00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,519 Take it or leave it. 343 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,020 That's an insult. 344 00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,523 These people are dedicated, committed, serious. 345 00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,024 They're not going to cave in 346 00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:01,527 no matter how much pressure is brought to bear. 347 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:04,530 They will not return to work until their demands are met. 348 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,031 Arrest him! 349 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:09,034 Okay, back to work. 350 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,040 You will be read your rights, 351 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,542 given a fair trial, 352 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,043 then executed. 353 00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,044 On second thought, 354 00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,547 since we have no rights and we have no courts, 355 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,549 let's go to the execution. Bob? 356 00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,551 Yes, excellency. 357 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,052 They're ready. 358 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:28,053 They aim... 359 00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,054 Fire. 360 00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:43,068 The execution of Dilbert will continue 361 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:45,571 [GROANING] after these messages. 362 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,574 Hello, every day Elbonian babies go completely unshaven 363 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:51,076 simply because they are left-handed. 364 00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:52,578 Won't you please... stop it! 365 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,581 Stop it! 366 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,582 Cute, aren't they? 367 00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:01,086 For only one Grubnick a day-- 368 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,087 Let me see that. 369 00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:04,089 There! Now, it's gone forever. 370 00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,595 [SIGHS] 371 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:10,596 That's it! 372 00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,097 You're on your own! 373 00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:15,601 ANNOUNCER: Um, send your Grubnicks to: 374 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,102 Shave the Children P.O. Box 6, Elbonia. 375 00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:19,104 Remember, a child is... 376 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,306 ALICE: Ah, shut up! 377 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:24,610 The old ways are the best ways. 378 00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:28,113 Okay, Dilbert, this time we're ready for you. 379 00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,114 No tricks. 380 00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,617 No one survives 381 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,118 the giant mudball. 382 00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,620 I did. 383 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:35,621 Shut up. 384 00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:36,622 Move it. 385 00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,123 Out of the way. 386 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:39,124 Diplomat coming. 387 00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,626 License to kill. 388 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,128 "Diplomatic immunity." 389 00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,129 That's right. 390 00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:45,631 Now, give me your clothes. 391 00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:46,632 Damn. 392 00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,634 As the new dictator of Elbonia 393 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,637 I've decided to make a few changes around here, 394 00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:53,639 and make no mistake about it, 395 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:55,641 these ARE changes for change sake. 396 00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,142 He's free, and all 397 00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:58,143 the workers' demands 398 00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,145 are hereby met. 399 00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,647 Hooray. 400 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,652 Yah! 401 00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,654 We're free! Free at last! 402 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,155 Ah, sweet freedom! 403 00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,667 Good to see you. 404 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,669 Come right in. 405 00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:25,671 Right this way. 406 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,172 Hi, welcome. 407 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,174 Come on in. Good to... 408 00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:35,681 Hey, what's going on? 409 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,182 Why's everyone leaving? 410 00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:38,183 You just got here. 411 00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:39,685 The factory's automated. 412 00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:40,686 They don't need us now. 413 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,187 We've been down-sized. 414 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:43,188 To how many? 415 00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:44,189 One. 416 00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,693 Um... 417 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,195 Can somebody show me how to work this thing?! 418 00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:54,700 And then lot's wife looked back and... ZAP. 419 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,702 She turned into a pile of mud. 420 00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,704 The man is a genius, a visionary. 421 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,706 I have to get a picture. 422 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:01,707 Say cheese. 423 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:05,711 That's a keeper. 424 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:24,229 Thank you for saving my life-- 425 00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:25,731 Even though it wasn't in danger. 426 00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,232 I just couldn't picture you 427 00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,234 as the official martyr of Elbonia. 428 00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,236 I was only trying to do the right thing. 429 00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:34,239 A misguided exercise at best. 430 00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,241 What are you doing? 431 00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,743 I'm taking the mud. 432 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,244 Why? 433 00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,746 Because I've taken everything else. 434 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:41,747 That's cruel. 435 00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:42,748 No, that's diplomacy. 436 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:44,249 Let my friend Henry, here 437 00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:45,751 explain it to you. 438 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:46,752 Hello, Dilbert. 439 00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,754 In the world of realpolitik 440 00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,756 you must see that the infrastructure 441 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,257 of Elbonia was built on mud. 442 00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:56,261 In a global economy, this is the equivalent of economic suicide. 443 00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,764 Thus, in order to save Elbonia 444 00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,265 it must be de-mudded. 445 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,768 Dogbert was doing the only logical thing. 446 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:03,769 Oh, of course. 447 00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,270 Now I see. 448 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,271 You do? 449 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,272 Yes. 450 00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:08,273 I don't even know 451 00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:09,775 what I'm talking about, 452 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,277 but for some reason it drives the chicks wild 453 00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:13,278 when I talk this way. 454 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,282 O great mudman. 455 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:18,784 How do you explain this? 456 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,285 Is it a sign from above? 457 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:22,287 More like a sign from below. 458 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,791 Freakin' little mud boy. 459 00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:29,795 Here I am buying trinkets 460 00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,797 from one of the native merchants. 461 00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:34,299 Here I am relaxing by the pool 462 00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,801 with some of the natives. 463 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,302 Here I am flying home, accompanied 464 00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:40,305 By a group of vacationing Elbonians. 465 00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:43,308 And here I am back at work. 466 00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:46,812 By the way, I'm pleased to announce that the production 467 00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,314 of The Gruntmaster in Elbonia 468 00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:51,316 has far exceeded our expectations. 469 00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,819 We can officially now classify Elbonia 470 00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,823 no longer a poverty-stricken fourth-world country, but... 471 00:20:57,823 --> 00:21:02,327 a poverty-stricken three- and-three-quarter world country. 472 00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:09,835 It is my fervent hope to someday visit this exotic land. 473 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:10,836 Oi... 474 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:15,340 Hello, I'm Dogbert. 475 00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:16,341 And welcome to Las Elbonia; 476 00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:18,343 where gambling and prostitution 477 00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:20,345 isn't just legal-- It's mandatory 478 00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:22,848 And this week only at the Caesar's Elbonia-- 479 00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:27,352 The song stylings of Henry Kissinger. 480 00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:30,856 music Viva Las Elbonia music 481 00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:34,359 music Viva Las Elbonia music 482 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:39,865 music Viva Viva Las Elbonia music 483 00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,366 Yee-ha! 484 00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:42,367 Hiya!