1
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:09,075
I didn't know you ate here.

2
00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:12,078
I don't. I just come here to yell at the employees.

3
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:13,079
Your milkshake, sir.

4
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:14,581
That'll be $1.89.

5
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,082
Your sign says $1.98.

6
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,585
What kind of a rip-off joint is this?

7
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,587
Oh, I am so sorry.

8
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,088
You're right.

9
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,590
Now I don't even want it.

10
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,091
You can keep your milkshake.

11
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:26,593
Have a nice day.

12
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:27,594
Huh!

13
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,096
See you back at the office.

14
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:34,601
Have a nice day.

15
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,604
Would you like a free dupey with that?

16
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:40,106
I don't know what a dupey is,

17
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,609
but if it's free, I'll take one.

18
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,612
I'm sorry, we don't have any.

19
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:46,613
[GROANS]

20
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,615
I'm not going to hit you.

21
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,617
You can if you want.

22
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,118
Everyone does.

23
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,120
What exactly is a dupey anyway?

24
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,624
I have no idea, sir, but they're very popular.

25
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,125
Oh, they're the cutest things,

26
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,628
although they don't even exist yet.

27
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,630
I'm trying to collect the whole set.

28
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:04,631
They don't exist?

29
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,633
Why are you asking me

30
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:09,135
if I want something that doesn't even exist?

31
00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:10,637
That's the idea.

32
00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,639
I don't know, sir.

33
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,140
I just work here.

34
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,645
Ow... thank you.

35
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:21,147
Have a nice day.

36
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,149
[EXPLOSION]

37
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,155
[music]

38
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,161
[CHANTING]

39
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:17,203
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

40
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,725
Ratbert, can you tell me

41
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:41,227
why strange babies are in my kitchen?

42
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:45,231
No. I'm operating on a need-to-know basis.

43
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,235
Spoons loaded.

44
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:56,743
Commence dining.

45
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:03,750
It's hard to get mad.

46
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,751
They're so cute.

47
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,753
That's what I've been telling you.

48
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:07,754
Use your cuteness.

49
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,756
It is your most powerful weapon.

50
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,258
You think you should be teaching babies this sort of thing?

51
00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:13,760
No, you can't start too early.

52
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,762
I've been working with most of these kids

53
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:16,763
since they were in the womb.

54
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,765
What do their parents think of this?

55
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,266
Oh, they think they're at the park.

56
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,768
The nannies are on the payroll.

57
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,770
Don't you think they have a right to know?

58
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,772
Why? Because they're older?

59
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:26,773
That's so arbitrary.

60
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,775
Now, if you'll excuse me.

61
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:29,776
Next week, I'll teach you

62
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,778
how to kick the seat in front of you

63
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,279
for the entire length of the movie.

64
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:34,781
Then I have a special clinic

65
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:37,283
on making all the candy in the jar yours

66
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:40,286
via the miracle of slobbering.

67
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,791
I invited Ann from marketing

68
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:50,797
to tell us a little about our newest advertising campaign.

69
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,298
Ah... ah...

70
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,299
Uh-oh.

71
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,301
Sneeze coming!

72
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,302
Ah... ah...

73
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:57,804
Fire in the hole!

74
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,305
Ah... ah...

75
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:00,306
I think everyone might be

76
00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,808
overreacting...

77
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:02,809
[SNEEZES]

78
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:07,814
Gesundheit.

79
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,816
Watch me get blamed for that!

80
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,819
Maybe I'll just tell you

81
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,321
about the marketing campaign myself.

82
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,323
I've got a little surprise for you.

83
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:18,324
Uh-oh.

84
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:19,325
I don't like surprises.

85
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:20,326
Nothing good can come from this.

86
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,828
My desire for spontaneity

87
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,830
has not been ground into dust yet.

88
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,331
I still like a surprise.

89
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:26,833
Is it a ceramic porpoise,

90
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,836
or possibly some sort of tossed salad in a blanket?

91
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,839
Come on, those aren't even good guesses.

92
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,842
Oh, please, show us and make my tingling stop.

93
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,344
Look, it's a dupey.

94
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,346
Isn't it cute?

95
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,848
Isn't it cute?

96
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,850
Well, isn't it?

97
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,852
It's your hand.

98
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,855
That's because the freaking dupey doesn't exist.

99
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,356
Yet, our marketing department

100
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,859
has been advertising it for months.

101
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,862
You mean our company is supposed to be making the dupey?

102
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,363
We're not even a toy company.

103
00:04:57,363 --> 00:05:00,867
Why didn't someone in marketing come to us sooner?

104
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:05,371
Dilbert, you're in charge of building the dupey.

105
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,373
Just make it cute.

106
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,876
Very, very cute.

107
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,878
There are more important things than cuteness, you know?

108
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,379
Ah... ah...

109
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:14,380
Hold it.

110
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:18,885
There's still time to invite someone else from marketing.

111
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:46,913
Oh, my word!

112
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:49,415
Dilbert, cut the cord.

113
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:51,417
Me? I don't think so.

114
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:53,920
You really think I should? Maybe...

115
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,922
Just cut the cord!

116
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:59,926
[CRYING LIKE A BABY]

117
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,428
Congratulations. It's a fad.

118
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,935
DOGBERT: Remember, kids,

119
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:12,939
if your parents feel guilty, they are GUILTY.

120
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:15,942
Hey, look what I brought home.

121
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:16,943
It's a...

122
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,444
[YELLS]

123
00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:22,949
Now I'm not the cutest one in the family anymore.

124
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,450
[CRYING]: Oh, God.

125
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:32,458
[INFANT CRYING]

126
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:39,465
What's wrong?

127
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:40,466
[CRYING STOPS]

128
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,468
Must be a loose connection.

129
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,469
[CRYING]

130
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,470
Now, come on...

131
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,472
I can't do this all night.

132
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,475
This is not the way you've been programmed.

133
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,978
I'm sure you're fine.

134
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,480
This is just a minor malfunction.

135
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:57,483
Now, stop it.

136
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:58,484
Stop it.

137
00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:00,987
[CRYING STOPS]

138
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,488
[CRYING]

139
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,489
[CRYING STOPS]

140
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:05,992
[GROANS]

141
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,500
I'm sorry I'm late.

142
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,003
The dupey kept me up again last night.

143
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,004
It is very innovative

144
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,006
to blame a toy for your shortcomings.

145
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,508
Surely, this method will spread like wildfire.

146
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:23,509
I'm not really lazy.

147
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,511
I blame that damn dupey.

148
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:28,514
Sometimes, the dupey makes my hair look too big.

149
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:29,515
I'm not loud!

150
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,017
I'm not making this up.

151
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,019
The dupey's malfunctioning at night,

152
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,020
and I don't know why.

153
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,021
Sounds familiar.

154
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:38,024
I remember when I'd be trying to sleep,

155
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,525
and the little tikes

156
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:42,528
would be crying all night in the next room.

157
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,030
How did you stop them?

158
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,531
Didn't have to.

159
00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,033
Turns out I was in the wrong house.

160
00:07:57,543 --> 00:08:01,047
My Justin shows absolutely no interest in the dupey.

161
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,548
I'm with him.

162
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,051
I don't know what people see in these things.

163
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,553
Justin only watches educational television.

164
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,055
Psht. Yeah.

165
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,057
And I don't eat sugar right from the box

166
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,558
when you're not looking.

167
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:14,060
Give me the keys; I'll pull the car around.

168
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,573
I'll name you Billy and Eric,

169
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,076
and I think you look like a Sebastian.

170
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,578
Hey, Alice, have you seen the sales report?

171
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,580
The dupeys are a huge sensation.

172
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:37,583
It just proves people will buy anything.

173
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,584
[DUPEYS CHATTERING]

174
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:39,585
What was that?

175
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:40,586
I didn't hear any dupeys.

176
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,588
Would you excuse me? I have work to do.

177
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:44,590
[SUSPICIOUSLY]: Okay.

178
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:48,094
She's coming this way.

179
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:51,597
You might as well go home right now, my friend.

180
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,099
She is all mine.

181
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,600
Oh, yeah? What do you got?

182
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,605
Huh... is that it?

183
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:00,606
Read 'em and weep.

184
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,109
A dupey?

185
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,111
I can't compete with that.

186
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:18,124
Can I have these?

187
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,626
Sure. Okay.

188
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,628
She took mine first.

189
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,132
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Top news story--

190
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:29,635
the dupey doll has become an international sensation.

191
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:30,636
Oh, yeah.

192
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,138
All this

193
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,639
despite reports that some dupeys

194
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,142
are evolving from their original cute form...

195
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,643
Evolving?

196
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,145
...into something hideous

197
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,147
that could destroy the planet within the week.

198
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,648
Destroy the planet?

199
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:45,151
And now, some celebrity birthdays

200
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,153
brought to you by the dupey.

201
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,660
music By any criteria music

202
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,662
music We are superior music

203
00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:59,165
music We are the dupeys music

204
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,167
That's our show for today, kids.

205
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,669
If you'd like a copy of our transcript,

206
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,171
we'll transmit it

207
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,673
directly into your head using telepathy.

208
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,175
And remember,

209
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,677
if your parents don't buy you a dupey every week...

210
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:15,181
ALL: They're only pretending to love you!

211
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,685
Hello... Mom?

212
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:23,189
Have you mailed me anything recently?

213
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:30,696
Dupey? Dupey, we need to talk.

214
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,198
Dupey?

215
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:40,706
[GASPS]

216
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:48,714
And so, you see

217
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:51,217
we have evolved into a higher form of life.

218
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,718
Uh... higher than who?

219
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,220
Not counting you, Dogbert.

220
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,222
Apology accepted.

221
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,724
I can't help noticing you've lost one quality.

222
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,227
We are no longer, as you say, "cute."

223
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,229
Whoo! I'm the cutest one

224
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,231
in the family again!

225
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,733
music Kum-bah-yah My Lord music

226
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:08,734
music Kum-bah-yah... music

227
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:09,735
Ka-bang!

228
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,238
All right, I'll shut up now.

229
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:15,741
We have evolved beyond the need for cuteness.

230
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:18,744
It has no role in an advanced species.

231
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,748
Hello, gorgeous.

232
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:25,751
Do you mind if I use the reflection

233
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,753
from your head as a mirror?

234
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,256
I'm in the door.

235
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,259
What's in the bag?

236
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:36,262
Is that one of those cute little dupeys?

237
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:40,266
They come for the reflection, but they stay for the dupey.

238
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,267
Ah!

239
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,269
Oh! Oh!

240
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:46,772
Your reaction was TO THE DUPEY, RIGHT?

241
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:50,276
DUPEYS: Help! Open the door!

242
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,278
Help! Help! Help!

243
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:53,279
Open the door!

244
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,780
Help! Help! Help!

245
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,786
So this is what happens

246
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,788
when you leave a sandwich in your drawer too long.

247
00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:04,290
We are not huge flies.

248
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,792
We are an advanced form of life.

249
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,794
You have freed us from the drawer.

250
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,797
To reward you, we will use our advanced intellect

251
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,299
to benefit mankind.

252
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,301
What is it your species needs most?

253
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,303
I can't think of anything.

254
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:20,306
Perhaps we could tell you how to cure a terrible disease.

255
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,308
No, I'm good.

256
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,810
Maybe you would like a perpetual, clean fuel source.

257
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,312
Don't need it.

258
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:27,313
I use gasoline.

259
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,814
Have you heard of it?

260
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,819
Ken is here from marketing

261
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:37,823
to tell us how the sales of dupeys are going.

262
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,825
I'm afraid it's bad news.

263
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:42,828
Ahh... ahh... ahh...

264
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:44,330
Oh...

265
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,831
I've worked here a long time...

266
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,834
Ahh...

267
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:49,835
Ahh...

268
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:50,836
Ahh...

269
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:51,837
And I've never seen

270
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:52,838
anything go from good to bad

271
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:53,839
so quickly.

272
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,841
[SNEEZES]

273
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:05,351
Maybe I'll tell you the dupey status myself.

274
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:08,354
They evolved into hideous insects,

275
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:11,357
and sales are in the crapper.

276
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,858
They're not insects.

277
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,860
They're a superior form of life.

278
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:15,861
Superior?

279
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,363
They don't even look cute anymore.

280
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,864
There's more to being superior

281
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,866
than just being cute, you know?

282
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,868
You're preaching to the choir.

283
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,870
They can teach us so much--

284
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,872
science, technology, medicine.

285
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:28,874
They're not cute anymore!

286
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:30,876
No, they're not cute, Loud Howard,

287
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,878
but they are so much more now.

288
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:35,881
They have transcended our limited levels of awareness

289
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,384
and become the next logical, evolutionary step.

290
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,387
And they're delicious with teriyaki sauce.

291
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,388
What?

292
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:43,389
Yes.

293
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,390
We're very excited.

294
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,891
Our studies show that the dupeys

295
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,893
are dupelicious.

296
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:50,896
We're relaunching the dupey product line

297
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,898
next week as a pizza topping.

298
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,900
You can't do that.

299
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,902
The dupeys are sentient beings.

300
00:13:56,902 --> 00:14:00,406
If, by "sentient," you mean good eating

301
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,409
I think we're on the same page.

302
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,913
I know how it feels to create a new species

303
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:10,416
only to have someone come along later and eat it.

304
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,417
You do?

305
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,418
I don't talk about it much.

306
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,920
I can't let the dupeys become pizza topping.

307
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:15,921
I have to do something.

308
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:17,423
Why? You stood idly by

309
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,425
while it happened to pineapples.

310
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,926
Pineapples are different.

311
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:21,927
They're not alive.

312
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:22,928
Well, they're alive,

313
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,430
but they aren't intelligent.

314
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,432
They're smarter than bananas.

315
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,433
It's all relative.

316
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,934
What are you saying?

317
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:29,935
It's arbitrary.

318
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:30,936
Who's your pet?

319
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:31,937
Who's your food?

320
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,439
Who's your insurance salesman?

321
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,941
We have reasons for those distinctions.

322
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:38,444
Yes, but not good reasons.

323
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,945
How do I convince people

324
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,447
The dupeys aren't food?

325
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:42,948
Teach the dupeys to sell insurance.

326
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,450
That's not the best advice

327
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,951
you've ever given.

328
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:47,453
They can't all be winners.

329
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:53,459
I do not wish to be a pizza topping.

330
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:54,960
I'm trying to figure out

331
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,462
how to save you and your people.

332
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,964
Have I mentioned that I'm a superior life-form?

333
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,467
About once a minute, since you got wings.

334
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,469
It never gets old.

335
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,970
Look, I can save you.

336
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:07,473
You'll just have to hide in the house with me.

337
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,975
I... I just don't know about the others.

338
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:16,482
You have raised me, and I am grateful,

339
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:17,983
but I am A DUPEY.

340
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,486
I must be with other dupeys.

341
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:23,989
It is time for me to leave the nest.

342
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,491
You can't leave.

343
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,493
If someone gets a bun around you, you're dead.

344
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,995
That is a risk I must take.

345
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:31,497
You did your best,

346
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,499
and I will always love you for that,

347
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:35,501
but you cannot protect me forever.

348
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,506
Dupey!

349
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:42,007
Goodbye.

350
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,520
Don't ever leave.

351
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:55,521
This room?

352
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,022
Never mind.

353
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,524
The moment's gone.

354
00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:13,038
Stupid fruit!

355
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,541
Best three out of five!

356
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,043
Let me ask you a hypothetical question.

357
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,546
Would you eat an insurance salesman?

358
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,548
I did that once.

359
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,551
It was part of a fraternity hazing.

360
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,553
Okay, bad example.

361
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:32,057
I just realized I don't know what "hypothetical" means.

362
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:36,061
DILBERT: My goal is to create an anti-dupey-eating campaign.

363
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:39,565
Okay, how about, "This is your brain.

364
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:43,068
This is your brain after eating a dupey"?

365
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,570
That doesn't even make sense.

366
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,071
[LAUGHING]

367
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:49,074
You don't understand the creative process.

368
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:52,077
You stole that slogan from the anti-drug campaign.

369
00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:55,581
Okay, maybe you do UNDERSTAND THE CREATIVE PROCESS.

370
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,082
How about, "Dupeys:

371
00:16:57,082 --> 00:17:00,085
they're like little insurance salesmen with wings"?

372
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:02,588
No, too overdone.

373
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,089
Overdone?

374
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,591
How about: "Dupeys:

375
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:10,095
they're like little insurance salesmen with wings!"?

376
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,598
Much better.

377
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:25,611
Since we converted the dupeys to a food item,

378
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:29,114
worldwide sales have leveled out at zero.

379
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:32,618
We're calling it a success because...

380
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,620
that's just what we do.

381
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,622
Gee, I wonder why

382
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,624
no one wants to eat the dupeys.

383
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,125
Maybe it has something to do

384
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:43,629
with that brilliant, new anti-dupey-eating campaign.

385
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,130
No, it wasn't that.

386
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,632
Our research tells us

387
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:49,635
no one wants to eat huge, talking insects

388
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,637
that beg for their lives.

389
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:53,138
Not intuitive.

390
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,640
But the anti-dupey-eating ad campaign

391
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,141
helped a little too.

392
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:57,643
No!

393
00:17:57,643 --> 00:18:00,646
Anyway, we shipped our entire dupey inventory

394
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,147
to the landfill,

395
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,148
where they will be

396
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:05,150
pecked to death by seagulls.

397
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:06,652
Do we call that a success too?

398
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:09,154
You can't just throw the dupeys away.

399
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,156
They're a superior form of life.

400
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:13,659
They're not cute anymore!

401
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:15,661
Deja vu!

402
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,668
Do you know where the landfill is?

403
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:25,170
This might seem odd to you, but I do.

404
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,171
Get in.

405
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,681
We'll need reinforcements.

406
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,182
The landfill has a rule

407
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:38,684
that you can't take anything back.

408
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,185
They never bend.

409
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:42,688
Dogbert, meet us at the landfill.

410
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,189
Bring help.

411
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,711
It looks like you've got an empty truck there.

412
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,212
You know the rules--

413
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:09,214
no pickups, only drop-offs.

414
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,216
I'm here to save an advanced species

415
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:13,218
from being pecked to death by seagulls.

416
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,720
If I made an exception for you,

417
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,221
everyone would be coming in here

418
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,222
and taking home garbage.

419
00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:18,724
The whole system would break down.

420
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:19,725
Please, just this once.

421
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,728
We promise we won't touch any of the good stuff.

422
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,730
Who told you there's good stuff in there?

423
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,234
Ready spoon.

424
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:32,237
Commence dining.

425
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:51,256
[HONKS HORN]

426
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,768
Dupey, am I too late?

427
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,770
We tried our energy blasts,

428
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,772
but they just kept coming.

429
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,273
It's okay now.

430
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:09,274
You can come home.

431
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:10,776
You'll be all right.

432
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,277
We can't go back.

433
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:13,779
Somehow, we have been branded

434
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,280
as insurance salesmen.

435
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,282
Ahem. We will never be respected

436
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:18,784
on this world.

437
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,285
Oh. I can explain that.

438
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:21,787
We must leave this place.

439
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:24,289
The dupeys must escape the bigotry

440
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,791
and random seagull attacks

441
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:27,292
that characterize this world.

442
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,794
You understand?

443
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,796
Unfortunately, I do.

444
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:31,797
Goodbye.

445
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,298
Goodbye.

446
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:44,309
I see you eyeing those melon rinds!

447
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:45,811
Those are my MELON RINDS!

448
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,813
Don't even think  BOUT THOSE MELON RINDS!

449
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,314
I got dibs on the rinds! You hear me?

450
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,821
The house seems so empty now.

451
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,823
Have you noticed that I exist?

452
00:20:57,823 --> 00:21:00,325
Yes, but I don't miss you because you're always here.

453
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,828
That is the nicest compliment

454
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:05,330
I have ever heard.

455
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:06,331
Dupey, is that you?

456
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,833
Where are you?

457
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:11,837
I can't reveal our new location for security reasons.

458
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:12,838
I understand.

459
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,339
We have found a new home

460
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:16,842
where our advanced intellect is appreciated

461
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,844
and physical appearance is not important.

462
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:21,346
I didn't realize there was such a place.

463
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:22,848
I must go now.

464
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:24,850
We have a code review meeting.

465
00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:40,866
[music]