1
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I'm sure you all remember

2
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:07,073
the disaster at last year's picnic

3
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:10,577
when our wieners turned out to be defective.

4
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I almost lost an eye.

5
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,082
But the buns were excellent.

6
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,084
Yes, they were.

7
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:21,087
But, this year, we can't rest on our buns,

8
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:24,090
no matter how plump and delicious they might be.

9
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You will not make this

10
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a hostile work environment.

11
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Good Lord, man,

12
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why don't you just rub steak sauce on my body

13
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and drag me from the back of a fishing boat?

14
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Does anyone know what Wally's talking about?

15
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,603
Well, I'm no expert on psychopaths,

16
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but I'd say he's afraid of the annual

17
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marketing-versus-engineering softball game.

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It's that time of year

19
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when we sporty people in marketing

20
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give you engineers your annual lesson in humility.

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Are you actually proud of the fact

22
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that you spent your youth guzzling beer and playing sports

23
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,120
just so you could excel at the picnicking arts?

24
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,623
I don't think I'm telling tales out of school--

25
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,626
and by "school" I mean our fine local community colleges--

26
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,628
when I say abso-positively.

27
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That means "yes."

28
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While you were learning

29
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to crush beer cans on your foreheads,

30
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we future engineers were developing our minds.

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Uh, I'm not following you.

32
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Me neither.

33
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Something about beer.

34
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Forget it.

35
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I think it's safe to say

36
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that the Marketgurus

37
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,145
will clean the field with you losers

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for the 10th year in a row.

39
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,148
Not this year, my friend.

40
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The Crapulets rule.

41
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,152
Can we get a new name for our team?

42
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I hate being a Crapulet.

43
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You got any better ideas?

44
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,657
No.

45
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:34,661
That's settled. Now, let's make some wiener-related decisions.

46
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:37,163
Do we want chicken or beef?

47
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Both very expensive and allowing no budget for beer.

48
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:44,671
Or a new, low-cost alternative that I own stock in

49
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called "Zoo-No-More."

50
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,174
I like that last one.

51
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:49,676
Good choice.

52
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,177
Now, how do we want them cooked?

53
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,680
I apologize for my tardiness,

54
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,182
but there was a fire in one of the research labs.

55
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Would someone please extinguish me?

56
00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,686
What is it with you young interns?

57
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:02,188
It's always "me, me, me."

58
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,691
How about being a team player just once in your life?

59
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:07,694
Sit down, Asok, we have important work here.

60
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,696
May I roll around on the carpet first?

61
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,698
Yes, but it counts as vacation time.

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I am only an intern.

63
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I have so few vacation days.

64
00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,208
I guess it doesn't hurt that much.

65
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:26,713
Can we get this over with?

66
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,215
That aroma of burning flesh is making me hungry.

67
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,216
Me too.

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00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,718
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

69
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,720
Hold on.

70
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,721
Am I the only one

71
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,723
who isn't crazy about hot dogs

72
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,224
made from old zebra meat?

73
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:41,227
Don't forget about that silky, shiny,

74
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:44,731
mouthwatering zebra coat.

75
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,235
Guess so.

76
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:50,236
[EXPLOSION]

77
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,243
[music]

78
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,248
[CHANTING]

79
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:44,791
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

80
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,811
Vern Wegman.

81
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:08,815
He was captain of the only engineering team

82
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,316
that ever beat marketing at softball.

83
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,818
How is that even possible?

84
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,820
It was the year they used

85
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,321
an electronic scoreboard.

86
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,322
Vern rigged it.

87
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,825
They won by the score of 162 to 159,

88
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,827
despite the fact

89
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:24,330
no engineer ever got on base.

90
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,332
Hey, you're letting the cold in.

91
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:27,333
You're alive.

92
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,334
I retired.

93
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,336
I didn't die, you nitwit.

94
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,838
Read the little sign.

95
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,840
"Vern Wegman.

96
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,342
"Left the company in 1982

97
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:39,345
"and is now employed as his own bust

98
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,347
several inches from this sign."

99
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,349
Why would you agree to do this?

100
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,851
Apparently,

101
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,853
you haven't looked at your pension plan too closely.

102
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,855
I made the same mistake at your age.

103
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,857
Now I'm getting paid $2.00 an hour

104
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:51,858
and I'm glad to have it.

105
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,860
Tell us about the day you beat marketing.

106
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Press this button.

107
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Never mind. I got it.

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00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:07,373
NARRATOR: It started as just another softball game

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00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,876
between marketing and engineering.

110
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:13,379
In the later innings, as was their custom,

111
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,882
the marketing team was ricocheting their home runs

112
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:21,387
off the heads of the opposing team.

113
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:31,898
In times like these, sometimes heroes are born.

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Vern Wegman...

115
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,402
was just such a hero.

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I get goose bumps during this part.

117
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Vern rigged the electronic scoreboard

118
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:44,911
so he could control it remotely.

119
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He was an unscrupulous, uncoordinated, cheating weasel.

120
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In a word, he was a hero.

121
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Didn't you feel guilty cheating?

122
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You know how you still have a shred of self-respect?

123
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Yes. You'll get over it.

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I don't think I will.

125
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You'd better.

126
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,433
I know you're all afraid

127
00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,935
of being humiliated

128
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,937
by the marketing-department softball team.

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00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:14,440
But, remember, you have a secret weapon.

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00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,441
What is it?

131
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You have me as your player-coach.

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We'll start with some infield practice.

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Ball one!

134
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:32,458
What's he doing?

135
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I think he's going for the walk.

136
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,963
Way to go!

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00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,464
[COUGHING]

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I think we need a new player-coach,

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preferably someone who isn't a total Wally.

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00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:45,471
What exactly do you mean by that?

141
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,473
We use your name as a pejorative now.

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00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:50,476
You do? Yeah, you know, as in:

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00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,477
"He's a total Wally,"

144
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:52,979
or, "I've got to take a Wally."

145
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:53,980
That sort of thing.

146
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,982
Hmm... It's catchy.

147
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:01,988
I think I know the perfect player-coach for us.

148
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,490
So, what do you think, coach?

149
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:06,492
I think I have my work cut out for me.

150
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:08,995
Listen up. We'll start with the basics.

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00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,496
Hitting a baseball

152
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,999
is the most difficult thing in all of sports.

153
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,502
But, getting hit by a pitch is the easiest.

154
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:20,506
In this drill, you'll learn how to stand directly on the plate.

155
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:26,512
Ooh!

156
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,014
Good.

157
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,516
Next time, try running toward the pitcher in anger.

158
00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:31,517
It's much more convincing.

159
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:33,519
This is slow-pitch softball.

160
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,021
I'm pretty sure you don't get on base

161
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,522
if you get hit by a pitch.

162
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,524
Let's hope the other team doesn't know that rule.

163
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:40,026
Ooh!

164
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,530
Ice.

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00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:54,040
You've got to stay hydrated, and by "you," I mean "me."

166
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,042
I've assessed your abilities

167
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,543
and assigned positions.

168
00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,545
Wally, you're second base.

169
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,547
I don't know how to play second base.

170
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:02,548
It's easy.

171
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:03,549
Just wear white canvas clothing

172
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,551
and lie on the ground for nine innings.

173
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I can do that.

174
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,554
Asok, there's some confusion

175
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,556
over whether you're right-handed or left-handed.

176
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,058
Uhh...

177
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:15,561
Throw me the ball with your right hand.

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00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,064
[GRUNTS]

179
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,067
Now the left hand.

180
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,069
[GRUNTS]

181
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,572
None of the above.

182
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,574
I'm putting you on first base.

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00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:29,575
My catching talent

184
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:32,578
isn't anything to e-mail home about either.

185
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:33,579
Well, just stand there

186
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:35,581
with your arms slightly away from your side.

187
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,583
We might just get lucky and wedge one in there.

188
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,584
Very good.

189
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,586
Alice, we're a little shorthanded,

190
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,588
so you're playing catcher and center fielder

191
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:43,589
at the same time.

192
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:46,592
It's always the woman who has to work twice as hard.

193
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,594
Pointy-haired boss, you're on the hot corner.

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00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:49,595
[YELLS]

195
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,597
Dilbert, you'll be pitching.

196
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:54,100
Okay, good pitching always beats good hitting.

197
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,602
Although I realize it's meaningless

198
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,105
unless the term "good" is defined in both cases.

199
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:02,108
And, even then, it's only a matter of likelihood

200
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,109
not a sure thing.

201
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,613
In fact, I don't even know why I said it.

202
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:10,116
Can crappy pitching beat good hitting too?

203
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,117
I don't think so.

204
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,118
Oh.

205
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,122
Ah, Dilbert, our star pitcher.

206
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,124
Did I mention that your career

207
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,125
depends on us winning

208
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,626
the softball game against marketing?

209
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,129
Why are you putting all the pressure on me?

210
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,130
I'm just one player.

211
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,631
You're the pitcher.

212
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:29,635
Good pitching always... always BEATS GOOD HITTING.

213
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,137
You said so yourself.

214
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,138
But it's not accurate.

215
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,140
It's just something people say.

216
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:37,143
Well, they couldn't say it if it wasn't true.

217
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,644
Yes, they could.

218
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,146
You lie to us every day.

219
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,149
Oh, that's not lying, that's managing.

220
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:46,652
Studies have shown there's a big difference.

221
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:47,653
What studies?

222
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,655
You know, studies.

223
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,157
Various ones.

224
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,159
You're managing me right now, aren't you?

225
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:56,662
See? Wally understands.

226
00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:58,164
Ooh.

227
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,167
This is disgusting.

228
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,669
Can't you at least pretend NOT TO LOOK?

229
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,171
That's like holding in a sneeze.

230
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,672
You could crack a rib.

231
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,174
She must be new in engineering.

232
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,175
That's impossible.

233
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,677
There are no attractive women in engineering.

234
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:14,680
What are you talking about? Look at me.

235
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,683
I can no longer see your physical beauty, Alice.

236
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,185
It's overwhelmed by... uh...

237
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,686
your professional competence.

238
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,189
Oh... I guess that's all right.

239
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,191
Hi. I'm from marketing.

240
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:28,194
I hope you don't mind me drinking the coffee

241
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,196
in the engineering break room.

242
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,198
You mind us looking at you? No. Help yourself.

243
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,199
Walk's as good as a hit.

244
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,700
I mind.

245
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,702
That gets charged against your cost center.

246
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,204
My name is Juliet.

247
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,705
What's yours?

248
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:40,706
My what?

249
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:41,707
Your name.

250
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,709
I'm-- I'm Dilbert, and this is...

251
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,212
I forget.

252
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,713
And this is...

253
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:49,215
It doesn't matter.

254
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,216
I'm just fine.

255
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,217
And you?

256
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,218
I'm mortified.

257
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,220
Well, that's an unusual name...

258
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,721
for an unusual woman.

259
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:59,725
It's not my name, but thank you.

260
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,227
Now I'm all confused.

261
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,728
I guess I'll see you at the company picnic.

262
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:05,231
[music]

263
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,240
I guess you will.

264
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:18,244
It was very nice to meet you, Dilbert.

265
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,245
Forget her, Dilbert.

266
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,246
It'll never work.

267
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,247
What do you mean, "Dilbert"?

268
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:22,748
She was flirting with me.

269
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:23,749
You think it can't work

270
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,251
because she's in marketing.

271
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,752
That's only the half of it.

272
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,754
She's going to see you play softball.

273
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,256
You're right.

274
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,758
Not only will she see how uncoordinated you are,

275
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,760
but she will also see you in shorts.

276
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,262
This isn't good.

277
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:37,763
I'd love to chat,

278
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:38,764
but I have to go down

279
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:39,765
to the wiener district

280
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,767
to buy some meat for the picnic.

281
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:42,768
There's a wiener district?

282
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,274
Too rich for my blood.

283
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,778
No... too expensive.

284
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,780
This one looks about right.

285
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:55,781
MAN: Psst!

286
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:56,782
Hey, buddy...

287
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,784
only suckers pay retail.

288
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,286
I don't want to be a sucker.

289
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:04,290
Best prices, best selection in all of wiener town.

290
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,292
How do I know they're good?

291
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,795
Can I borrow your pen?

292
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:16,302
If they weren't good, would I do this?

293
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,804
[SLURPING]

294
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,807
[GROANING]

295
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,310
Ooh...

296
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,311
[CHUCKLES]

297
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:31,317
DILBERT: Are you sure this is what athletes are wearing now?

298
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,319
You said you didn't want your legs to show.

299
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,320
I'm just trying to help.

300
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,822
It's important, because Juliet will be seeing me

301
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:39,325
outside the office for the first time.

302
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:42,328
Sounds like you have a zone-of-competence problem.

303
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,329
A what?

304
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,330
Women are only impressed

305
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,832
by men who excel at whatever they're doing.

306
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:47,833
It's an evolution thing.

307
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:50,336
In your case, that means engineering.

308
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,338
If she sees you outside of engineering,

309
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:53,839
you'll look like a wounded gazelle

310
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,841
who needs to be thinned from the herd.

311
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:58,844
Man, I wish we were debugging source code instead.

312
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:02,348
At least you look great-- thanks to me.

313
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,351
You're positive this is what everyone is wearing for workouts?

314
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,853
The stores are full of them.

315
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,857
[music]

316
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,366
This might actually be fun.

317
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,868
I know I'm planning to enjoy it.

318
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,372
Hey.

319
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,874
[LAUGHING]

320
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:30,376
[LAUGHING CONTINUES]

321
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,381
Is it my imagination

322
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,383
or are people staring at me?

323
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:38,884
You're wearing new sneakers, right?

324
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:39,885
Yes.

325
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:40,886
Yeah, that's probably why.

326
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:44,390
Yes!

327
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,891
I get to break the news.

328
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,893
Hey, guys. Ready for the big game?

329
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:49,395
Wally has something to tell you.

330
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,396
Wait.

331
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,897
I must capture this moment.

332
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:54,400
It is my duty-- nay, my privilege--

333
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,403
nay, just a guilty pleasure-- to inform you

334
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:58,904
that you are wearing women's clothing.

335
00:13:58,904 --> 00:13:59,905
What?

336
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:01,407
The outfit, the getup--

337
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,409
it's a woman's exercise outfit.

338
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:04,410
[LAUGHING]

339
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,412
Looks like a girl!

340
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:08,414
We should call him "Girlbert."

341
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,915
Can I take one more, for safety?

342
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:12,918
I thought you said everyone was wearing these clothes.

343
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,920
I meant... everyone who's a woman.

344
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,922
I might have left that part out.

345
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:17,923
Gosh!

346
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,425
Now what am I going to do?

347
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,427
I can't take the field looking like this.

348
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,428
Calm down.

349
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:25,431
I have a spare set of shorts in my picnic basket.

350
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,433
You can wear those over your thong.

351
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,435
I'll never be able to run in these.

352
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,437
Just tighten the belt and tie the legs tight.

353
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,938
You'll be fine.

354
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,440
[HUMMING]

355
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,450
Hi, Juliet.

356
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,951
Remember me?

357
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:46,952
We shared a coffee stirrer.

358
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:49,455
I brought it with me in case you need it again.

359
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,456
Um...

360
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:51,457
Thank you.

361
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:54,460
That was, um... sweet.

362
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,462
It was weird, is what it was.

363
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,464
She's not your type, Shakespeare.

364
00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,465
Just move along.

365
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,966
There's no law that says

366
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:02,968
engineers can't date women from marketing.

367
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:05,971
It's more complicated than that, Dilbert.

368
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,473
I'm a Marketguru.

369
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,974
You're a Crapulet.

370
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,477
Our work groups would never understand.

371
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,978
But we can get past that.

372
00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:14,980
Juliet, I have you playing 2B.

373
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:15,981
"2B"?

374
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:17,983
That means "second base."

375
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:19,485
Stay away from her.

376
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,986
You've been warned.

377
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,988
I'll be playing 2B.

378
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,990
If you make it that far, we can talk there.

379
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:25,991
Second base?

380
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:28,494
No engineer has ever gotten that far.

381
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:31,497
Softball is outside my zone of competence.

382
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,499
You have to... for us.

383
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,500
"For us."

384
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:38,003
I'll make it.

385
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,004
MAN: Juliet!

386
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,005
I have to go.

387
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,510
2B or not 2B...

388
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,512
That is the question.

389
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,013
I didn't have time to buy buns,

390
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:52,518
but I think you'll find this just as good.

391
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,520
Throw me one of those. Hey, give me a hot dog.

392
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,021
Bring on the organ meats, Pops.

393
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:57,523
Settle down.

394
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,525
We've got enough for everyone. MEN: Me! Me!

395
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:04,530
I'll see you on second base.

396
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,031
I'll count the minutes.

397
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:08,033
That is it, you stinking Crapulet!

398
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:09,535
En garde!

399
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,037
Dilbert!

400
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,043
That would've looked so impressive.

401
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,545
Nice try, though.

402
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,046
Dilbert!

403
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:24,049
Let that be a lesson to you, Crapulet.

404
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,552
Never try to date a Marketguru.

405
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,555
[ORGAN PLAYING]

406
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,571
The key to this game is

407
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,573
to demoralize them from the start.

408
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:54,079
Center field!

409
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,080
I got it!

410
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,596
[CHEERING]

411
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,102
They're not as demoralized as I had hoped.

412
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,607
Dilbert, you're leadoff.

413
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:25,110
According to my research, the leadoff batter should be

414
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,613
the player most likely to get on base.

415
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:28,614
Exactly.

416
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:34,620
Huh?

417
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:38,624
Uh-oh.

418
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,138
You hit the batter. He gets first base.

419
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:55,140
I hit his pants, not him.

420
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:56,141
Pants are part of the player.

421
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,145
Oh, man.

422
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,150
Yay!

423
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:09,655
I will be with you soon, my love.

424
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:12,157
Give Dilbert the signal to steal second.

425
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:13,158
Dilbert!

426
00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:15,661
Steal second!

427
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,163
I meant the hand signal.

428
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:19,164
Oh!

429
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:21,667
[WHISPERING LOUDLY]: You... run... second base!

430
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,669
I hope they don't steal our signals.

431
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,674
Soon, we will be together.

432
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:29,675
[GROANING]

433
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:33,679
What's wrong with...?

434
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,180
[GROANING]

435
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:38,684
Dilbert,

436
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:39,685
this is your chance.

437
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,700
Yay! Yay! Yay!

438
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,201
That's our Dilbert!

439
00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:58,704
I wonder if it was something they ate.

440
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:03,208
[RETCHING]

441
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,210
Probably the...

442
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,712
potato salad.

443
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:10,716
Juliet...

444
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:11,717
You're okay.

445
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,218
It must've been the hot dogs.

446
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,721
I think they were bad.

447
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:16,722
I'm so glad.

448
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,724
You're the only person in marketing

449
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:19,725
who didn't eat them.

450
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,727
Oh, I wish that were true.

451
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:24,730
[GROANING]

452
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:25,731
No!

453
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,233
We'll take her to the hospital with the others

454
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,234
and pump her stomach.

455
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,236
But when she gets reunited with the others,

456
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:32,237
they'll keep us apart.

457
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:33,238
I can't let that happen.

458
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:34,740
I won't.

459
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,742
There's nothing you can do about it, Romeo.

460
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:38,243
We'll see about that.

461
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:45,250
Hey! Oh, no.

462
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,753
Look, I've got food poisoning too.

463
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,756
You have to take me to the hospital and pump my stomach.

464
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,257
We'd like to share an ambulance.

465
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:54,760
Well, I guess that would be okay.

466
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,765
I can't believe you fell for that joke.

467
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,266
I didn't eat the hot dogs.

468
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,268
I was just kidding around with you.

469
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:04,269
[GROANS]

470
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:06,271
You even have a sense of humor.

471
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,273
I love you more than ever.

472
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:09,274
[GROANS]

473
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:12,778
Wow... You really ate a poisoned hot dog

474
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,279
just to be with me.

475
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:16,782
That is so sweet.

476
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,784
Incredibly stupid, but sweet.

477
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:19,785
[GROANS]

478
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:20,786
Really stupid.

479
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:23,789
The stupidity far outweighs the sweetness.

480
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:24,790
[GROANS]

481
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,292
But the craziest part about this

482
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:30,295
is that it was still the best date I ever had.

483
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,296
[GROANS]

484
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,300
[SIREN WAILING]

485
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,314
[GRUNTS]

486
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,318
That only took 15 minutes.

487
00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:54,820
They're very good.

488
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:58,323
The whole thing was only 19.95.

489
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:00,826
You didn't take any of the extras, did you?

490
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,327
That's how they get you.

491
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:03,829
I was very thirsty.

492
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:04,830
Uh-oh.

493
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:08,333
You know, they don't have water fountains in that place.

494
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,836
They sold me a glass of ginger ale for $3,000,

495
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,337
but it was worth it.

496
00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:13,839
I really miss Juliet.

497
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,340
I think she really liked me.

498
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:17,843
"Like" is a strong word.

499
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:18,844
It's possible.

500
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:19,845
You like me.

501
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,347
You fill a special place in my life.

502
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:23,348
In your heart?

503
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,349
DOGBERT: On the couch.

504
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:26,351
Your head blocks the light from the lamp

505
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,353
so it doesn't get in my eyes.

506
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:30,355
[music]