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THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID SERIES 


1 

Diary of a Wimpy Kid 

8 

/-/arc/ Luck 

2 

Rodrick Rules 

9 

The Long Haul 

3 

The Last Straw 

lO 

Old School 

4 

Dog Days 

11 

Double Down 

5 

The Ugly Truth 

12 

The Getaway 

6 

Cabin Fever 

13 

The Meltdown 

7 

The Third Wheel 




MORE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID BOOKS 

The Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book 
The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary 
The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary: The Next Chapter 













DIARY 













PUBLISHER'S NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and 
incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously, 
and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, 
events, or locales is entirely coincidental. 

Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for and may 
be obtained from the Library of Congress. 

ISBN: 978-1-4197-2743-6 
elSBN: 978-1-68335-387-4 

Wimpy Kid text and illustrations copyright © 2018 Wimpy Kid, Inc. 

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID®, WIMPY KID™, and the Greg Heffley design™ 
are trademarks of Wimpy Kid, Inc., and the design of this book’s jacket 
is trade dress of Wimpy Kid, Inc. All rights reserved. 

Book design by Jeff Kinney 
Cover design by Chad W. Beckerman and Jeff Kinney 

Published in 2018 by Amulet Books, an imprint of ABRAMS. 

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval 
system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, 
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. 


Amulet Books are available at special discounts when purchased in quantity 
for premiums and promotions as well as fundraising or educational use. 
Special editions can also be created to specification. For details, contact 
specialsales@abramsbooks.com or the address below. 

Amulet Books® is a registered trademark of Harry N. Abrams, Inc. 



ABRAMS The Art of Books 
195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007 
abramsbooks.com 



TO DEB 

















































JANUARY 


Mohday 

ih 

ehjoyihg +he warn wea+her ahd suhshihe. Vslell, 
eVeryohe exce 
hea+ wave wheh i+ s +he niddle of +he WINTER. 


ME. X+ s kihd of hard +o ehjoy a 


ny heic^hkorhood is ou+side +oday 


'Xverytody 



People are callih^ +his ' wacky wea+her,” {>u+ i+ 
jus+ doesh + feel ricjh+. Maybe X n'l old-fashiohed, 
bu+ X +hihk i+ should be cold ih +he wih+er ahd 
ho+ ih +he SuririER. 


X ve heard +he whole PLANET is warnihxj u^>, ahd 
+h<*+ hunah beihgs are +he reasoh. Bu+ doh'+ blane 
ME, because X Jus+ GOT here. 






































world IS ^e++ih<j Ko++er, X jus+ Koye i+ 
doeshT Kd^eh +oo FAST. Because i*f +Kihgs kee^> 
a+ THIS ra+e, X II be ridiha a camel +o KidK scKoc 


°? 



Pdd +o i)u^ a House Hi<)Her u^ oh our Kill. Bu+ 
+Key Jus+ doh + seem all +Kd+ cohcerhed. 



2 















X+ kihd o-f makes me hervous +Ka+ X m +he ohly 
ohe ih my -family worried atou+ +Kis s+u-f-f. Because 
i-f we doh + do some+hih^ abou+ +Ke si+ua+ioh 
SOON, we re <johha wish we DID. 



X+ s ho+ jus+ +he risih^ sea levels X m hervous 
ai>ou+. Those ice ca^s KaVe t>eeh arouhd -for milliohs 
o-f years, ahd +here could t>e +hih^s Juried ihside 
o-f +hem +h<*+ should STAY +h<*+ way. 



3 















X saw a movie a{>ou+ a cAVemAh who ^o+ frozeh ih 
ice, Ahd wheh i+ mel+ed +houSAhds of yeArs U+er 
he was s+ill ALIVE. X doh + khow if +hA+ kihd 
of +hih^ could ac+uaII^ hA^eh ih reAl life, hu+ if 
+here ARE uhfrozeh cAVemeh WAlkih^ Arouhd +hese 
dAys, +he hi^h+jAhi+or a+ my school n^h+ he ohe 



mess, i+s ^rot>Ahly cjohhA he someohe -from MY 
cjeherA+ioh who solves i+. XhA+ s why X n AlwAys 


hice +o +he SMART kids, hecAuse THEY’RE 

ohes who Are cjohhA SAVe our hu++s. 


+he 



4 














Ylha+eVer +he ahswer is, X ^uarah+ee you 

TECHNOLOGY is ^ohha be +he key. 

Growh-u^s are always sa 
+echholo^y is BAD -for kids, bu+ X say +he more 

+Ke BETTER. 


yih 3 


+b<*+ +oo much 


Xh -fac+, as sooh as X cah a-fTord ohe o-f +Kose 
hicjbi-+ech +oile+s +U+ learhs all your lv*bi+s, X m 
<johha ^e+ +he mos+ ex^ehsiVe mo del. 



Some ^eo^>le worry +ha+ ohe day we II lose coh+rol o-f 


our +ecKholo^y ahd robo+s will +ake OVER. 


Ylell, i-f +Ha+ Ha^ehs, XV> ^ohha make sure X m 

oh THEIR side. 


5 












X've dc+u<*lly been PREPARING -for wHeh +Ke 
robo+s -take over by suckihg +o +Ke a^liahces 



* 


6 





















My tro+her Rodrick says +ha+ ih +he fu+ure, 
^eo^le will have roto+ tody ^>ar+s, ahd well all te 


CYBORGS. 


Ylell; X Ho^>e X doh+ have +o wai+ +oo loh^ -for 
+ha+, because if X could toy myself a ^air of 
rot>o+ le^s, X could ^e+ a half hour of ex+ra slee^> 
each morhihg. 



X ^uess we doh+ really khow wh<*+s cjohha 

ih +he fu+ure. A^d you could drive yourself CRAZY 

worryih^ abou+ i+. 


'Xveh if we solve all +he ^rotlems we h<*Ve ri^h+ 
how, some NEW +hih0 will come alohcj, ahd +heh 
well have +o deoil wi+K THAT. 


7 
























X ve read +H<*+s wHa+ Ha^ehed wi+H +Ke 

DINOSAURS. Mty were ricjih^ hi<)h for 
a couple huhdred nillioh years, ahd theh ah 
asteroid came ahd wi^ed them out. 



VlWs really crazy is that cockroaches were arouhd 
tack theh, ahd somehow THEY survived. A^d 
theyll probably be here loh^ after weVe ^ohe, too. 
Persohally, X thihk cockroaches are dis^ustihcj. But 
they must be doihg SOMETHING ricjht. 

















S^ealciYu^ o-f SURVIVAL , rl^K+ how, X m Jus+ 
+ryih<j +o ^e+ +hrough middle school. A^d +he las+ 
•few days hdVeh'+ beeh all +ha+ ^rea+. 


^Veh +hou<jh i+s warm ou+side, +he +hermos+a+ a+ 
school s+ill +hihks i+s WINTER. So +he *furhace 
is oh -full blas+ all day, which makes i+ hard +o 
cohceh+ra+e ih class. 



Ahd i+ s worse ih +he CAFETERIA, because +here 
areh + ahy wihdows you cah o^>eh +o cje+ -fresh air. 


SLUG V 


GLUG o 
o 



rara—331 






















Xhe hea+ has beeh *fryihg my braih, ahd Xve beeh 
•for^e++ih^ wheh my school assicjhmeh+s are due. 

X *for<jo+ a really BIG ohe +oday, which was my 
couh+ry ^>rojec+ -for +he Xh+erha+iohal Showcase. 


Back ih November, tVzryoY\t had +o choose a 
couh+ry +o do a re^>or+ oh. X picked X+al j, 
because X rn a HUGE ^izza -fah. 


Bo+ i+ +urhs 00+ X+^ly was a really ^o^olar 
choice, so my Social S+odies +eacher had +o do a 
rahdom drawih^ +o decide who 30+ i+. A^d she 
chose Pehhis X"ac+oh, which ish'+ -fair because he's 
lac+ose ih+olerah+ ahd cah'+ eVeh ea+ cheese. 



So +he +eacher assi^hed me Mal+a, which X didh + 

eVeh khow was a couh+ry. 


10 










Anyway, +h<*+ was +wo mon+hs back, and X didn + 
give my coun+ry ^rojec+ a secohd +hough+ un+il 
TODAY. Ahd +he only rz<xsoY\ X remembered 
was because when X go+ +o school, everybody was 
wearing weird clo+hes. 



X probably should've realized i+ was X^+erha+iohal 
Showcase day when my friend Rowley came by +o 
ge+ me for school wearing a crazy ge+u^>. Bu+ he s 
ALWAYS doing s+range s+uff, so X barely even 
noticed. 



11 

















































homeroom, X +ook a look a+ Rowley s ^rojec+ 
+o see how much work was ihVolved, ahd +ha+s 
wheh X s+ar+ed +o ^>ahic. 

His re^>or+ looked like i+ +ook a TON of +ime, ahd 
i+ was ^>re++y obvious his ^>areh+s helped him wi+h 
ft. Of course Rowley h<*d ac+ually BEEN +o +he 
couh+ry he 30+ assi^hed, so X m sure +h<*+ made i+ 
a lo+ EASIER for him. 


AK1I 

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EK1GIL 



LOCATION 
• * 

- - ■ i 

A 

CLIMATE 

***** 


HISTORY 




°o" 


MONEY 
© © 


T RANSPOR TATION 


£ 


X asked Rowley +0 be a ^al ahd swi+ch couh+ries 
wi+h me, bu+ hes kihd of selfish; so he wouldh + 
30 for i+. *Tha+ meah+ X was oh my owh, ahd X 
ohly h<*d a few hours +0 do my whole ^>rojec+ from 

SCRATCH. A^d X didh + khow WHERE X was 

cjohha fihd a +ri-fold +his la+e ih +he cjame. 


12 

























































Xh<*+s wKeh X re-e-tered that X had a +ri-*fold ih 
-y LOCKER. X had started -y couh+ry project 
the day after it was assicjhed so X could ^et ahead 
of +tw’h0S for ohce. But wheh X gulled i+ out to see 
how FAR X d ^otteh, X was pretty disa^oihted. 




MYSTERIOUS 

VIAL 
























was 50 % of -y Social Studies ^rade, 
so X was pretty desperate. X tried ^ettih^ hel^> 
fro— —y CLASSMATES, tut all THAT did was 
re-ihd -e X heed to ^et so-e s-arter friehds. 




13 

















X s+ayed ihdoors for recess +o work oh my 
^>rojec+. X didh + have +ime +o 30 dowh +o +he 
library -for research, so X h<*d +o do a lo+ of 
GUESSING. ohly +hih<j X fel+ ^re-Hy sure 
abou+ was +W Mrtl+rt was hear Russia, bu+ X was 
shaky oh 



^>re++y 


ever 


y+hih^ 


ELSE. 


Ohce X fihished fillihg ou+ my +ri—fold, X s+ar+ed 
workihg oh +he OTHER s+uff. 


Vie were su^osed +o wear our couh+ry's "+radi+iohal 
dress for +he Xh+erha+iohal Showcase, so oh +he 
way +o luhch X picked ou+ some clo+hes from +he 
Los+ ahd "fouY\<^ ih froh+ of +he ^rihci^afs office. 




















Luckily; +here were a few deceh+ i+ems ih +Ke 
t)ox; Ahd X ^>u+ +o<je+Her Ah ou+fi+ +Ka+ looked 
^>re++y cohVihcihcj. 



'Xveryohe was 
MEAL; +oo. A+ luhcL; X tou^K+ as mAhy i+ems as 
X could A-fford; Ahd +Krew some+Lihg +o^e+her +Ka+ 

couh+ry. 


seemed like i+ mi<jh+Ve come from Aho+Ker 


su^osed +o brihg ih a +rAdi+iohAl 


MEAT 



15 





































The Xh+erha+iohal Showcase was durihg +he las+ 
^>eriocahd wheh X se+ u^> my ^>rojec+ ih +he gym, 
was ac+uall 

Bu+ X wish X d go++eh assighed a couh+ry where 
+hey wore ligh+er clo+hes, because +he -furnace was 
s+ill oh -full blas+. 




The hea+ was ge++ihg +o some OTHER kids, +oo, 
ahd +em^>ers were s+ar+ihg +0 -flare. A+ ohe ^>oih+, 
Brazil ahd Bulgaria go+ ih a -figh+ over +able 
s^ace, ahd a +eacher h<*d +0 come break i+ u^>. 



16 














































Kids came ih -from +he elemeh+ary school +o check 
ask <^oes+iohs. Bu+ all 
+o do +o ^e+ +hem +o move aloh^ was +o ^>re+ehd 
X ohly s^>oke Mal+ese. 


ou+ our ^>rojec+s ahd 


XU 



A,-f+er +ha+, +he PARENTS s+ar+ed +o arrive. 
Luckily, MINE couldh + come, because Pad was 
a+ work ahd Horn was a+ her college. Bu+ some 
kid ih my cjrade has a mom ahd dad who ore 
ac+ually FROM Mal+a, wKicK was really tad lock 
■for ME. 


T 



17 




































me +o my 

+eacher, ahd X was ready +o make a ruh for i+. 
Bu+ +heh some+hihg ha^ehed +h<*+ 30+ me off 
+he Kook. 


X +hou^h+ +hey were ^ohha re^>or+ 


Xhe f^K+ +h<*+ s+ar+ed te+weeh Brazil ahd 
Bulgaria fared tack uf> ahd skilled over +0 +he 
* C ahd D couh+ries. A^d tefore lohg, +he 
whole GYM was a+ war. 



Luckily +he tell rahg ; ahd school 30+ dismissed tefore 
ahyohe 30+ seriously hur+. Bu+ +he whole si+ua+ioh 
doesh+ exacHy cjive me a lo+ of ho^e for world ^>eace. 


13 
















Toesd< 


£ 


Vlell, X THOUGHT X was ih +he clear , bu+ X 
was wrohcj. My Social S+udies +eacher seh+ a ho+e 
home +o my ^areh+s +h<*+ said X have +o do my 
Xh+erha+iohal Showcase ^>rojec+ AGAIN. 



So Mom said X cah + wa+ch TV or ^>lay Video 
^ames uh+il X -fthish. X figure X cah probably ^e+ 
+his +hihcj dohe ty Sa+urday ; t>u+ i+ woh + ma++er 
ahyway. Xv*+s because Mom is makih^ me ahd my 
bro+hers have "Screeh-Free Vleekehds.” 


Mom +hihks us kids are addic+ed +o elec+rohics, 
ahd +heyVe +he rt<xsoY\ we misbehave. So she 
s+ar+ed +his hew policy where weVe ho+ allowed +o 
use ahy elec+rohics oh Sa+urdays ahd Suhdays, ahd 
we have +o Tihd o+her ways +o eh+er+aih ourselves. 








VJH<*+ really s+ihks is +ha+ wheh Mom ca+ches us 
BEHAVING oh +he weekehds; she +Kihks i+s 
PROOF +ha+ Screeh-Tree Vleekehds are workih^. 



So la+ely; me ahd Rodrick have teeh rememterih^ +o 
MISBEHAVE oh Sa+urdays ahd Suhdays so Mom 

icy is wo 

A^d MANNY joihs ih; +oo; because X cjuess he 
likes +o do wh<*+ever his i>i^ t>ro+hers are doihg. 



doesh + +hihk her ho-elec+rohics ^>ol 



20 


































Mon says kids +hese days doh + khow how +o 
ih+erac+ wi+h ohe aho+her, because weVe always 
s+arihg a+ our screehs. So she s beeh workihcj wi+h 
ne ahd Rodrick oh our social skills. 


Ohe +hihg Mon s always +ryih<j +o <je+ ne +o do is 
+o look her ih +he eye wheh X n +alkih<j +o her. 

X cah do +ha+ -for a LITTLE while,, bu+ af+er a 
•few secohds i+ jus+ ^e+s +oo weird. 



The la+es+ +hih0 Mon s beeh nakih^ ne do is 
^>rac+ice shakih^ hahds wi+h Pad. Bu+ +h<*+s 
awkward for BOTH o-f us. 



21 














Mon wah+s ne +o brahch ou+ ahd nake more 
•frizes ih +he hei^hborhood. Bu+ X'n already 
friehds wi+h ROWLEY, ahd he's all X cah reall 
hahdle ri<jh+ how. 


/ 



^Xveh +hou<jh +here are a +oh of kids oh ny 
s+ree+, X really cah'+ see beihg friehds wi+h ahy 
of +hen. X ALREADY feel like Xh mak ih^ ah 
exce^>+ioh for Rowley, ahd +he o^>+iohs op dowhhill 
fron +here. 


Our house is halfway u^> Surrey S+ree+, ahd 
Rowleys house is hear +he +o^>. Some+ines i+s a ^aih 
+o eveh 30 see HIM, because X have +o ^>ass by 
FREGLEY S house +o do i+. Ahd hihe +ines ou+ of 

+eh, Fre^ley is hahgihcj ou+ ih his froh+ yard. 


22 












Across +he s+ree+ -from Tre^ley is Jacob \jo-f-f, bu+ 
he almos+ heVer comes oo+side because his ^>areh+s 
are always makihg him ^rac+ice +he clarihe+. A^d 
oh ei+her side o-f Jacob are H-rhes+o Gu+ierrez ahd 
Gabriel Johhs, who are ih my arade. 


E-rhes+o ahd Gabriel are hice kids ahd all, bu+ 
+hey BOTH have bad breath, so those two are 
^er-fect -for each other. 



23 






















^(wo doors dowh -from me is PdVid Harsh, wKo's 
really ih+o kara+e. He’s i>es+ -friehcis wi+h Joseph 
ORourke, wKos always doir^ some+hir>3 +o ^e+ 
himself ihjured. 



V 4 ex+ door +o Joseph is Mi+chell Picke-H", who makes 
a killih^ sellih^ ^remade showhalls ih +he wih+er. 

A^d mark my words, ohe day +ha+ kid S ^ohhd be 

d MILLIONAIRE. 



2 ^ 











































ear 


me wKo everybody calls S^eed Bum^. Bu+ ^>eo^le 
s+eer clear of Kim because Kis +wo older bro+Kers 



Kouse ih Kis backyards ahd Ke s^ehds Kis summers 
solvihcj hei^KborKood crimes. Bu+ mos+ of +Ke +ime 
+Ke ^>ersoh responsible is Speed Bump. 


ouY\$zr +Kah 


Mi+cKell lives hex+ +o a boy ohe y 



25 

















































there's a duplex +Hree-<^oar+ers of +He way dowh 
+He Kill ; ahd +He +wo families wHo live ih i+ HATE 
eacH o+Her. 



X cah heVer kee^> +He kids ih +H<*+ House s+rai<jH+, 
tu+ X khow ohe of +Hem is hamed Giho because He 
Has a +a++oo oh His arm, eVeh +Hou^H He s ohly 
some+Hih^ like seVeh years old. 



XHere's a toy wHo lives wi+H His ^rahdmo+Her a few 
doors dowh, ahd His hame is Gitsoh. 


26 






















£.Veryohe calls hi™ Baby Gibsoh, because ho ma++er 
how much +ime ^oes by he hever seems +o ^e+ ahy 
OLDER. For all X khow, Baby Gibsoh is +hir+y- 
+wo years old ahd he s 30+ kids o-f his OWN. 



Xhere's a playgroup o-f preschoolers +h<*+ ^e+s 
+o^e+her +wice a week a+ Mrs. Jimehez's house. X 
doh + khow which kids are HERS ahd which ohes 
are her FRIENDS'. Vlh<*+ X DO khow is +h<*+ 
+hose kids are +o+ally ou+ of coh+rol, ahd +he 
moms doh'+ really seem +o care. 



27 



























IWe are some older kids oh our s+ree+, +oo. 
A^+Kohy Pehard is a so^Komore ih K13K scKool, 
ahd Ke Jus+ s+ar+ed sKavih^. Bo+ Ke 30+ carried 
away wi+K +Ke razor blade ahd accideh+ally slaved 
off ohe of Kis eyebrows. 


A^+Kohy drew i+ back oh wi+K a browh marker, 
bu+ Ke didh+ do a ^ood job,, ahd how 0 he K<*lf of 
Kis face always looks surprised. 



Ah+Kohys bes+ friehd is SKeldoh Reyes, wKo +ried 
+o make mohey ^lowihg 
+Ke firs+ +ime i+ showed +Kis wih+er. 


+Ke hei^Kbors' driveways 


Bu+ SKeldoh doesh'+ K<*Ve Kis licehse ye+, ahd Ke 
did a lo+ of damage ih our heicjKborKood before Kis 
dad fouhd ou+ Kis soh was usihcj Kis +ruck. 


28 












A -few doors dowh -from me are +Ke Garza +wihs, 

Jeremy ahd Jamesoh, who made +heir owh 
lah^uacje wheh +hey were +oddlers. A^d wheh 
+hose +wo are +o^ge+her, ho ohe cah uhders+ahd a 
word +hey say. 



GRUNT 

CLICK 

WHISTLE 

J 


SMACK 

SMACK 

CLUCK 

WHISTLE 




“TWe are a i>uhcK o-f GIRLS oh my s+ree+^ +oo, 
tu+ +hey re Jus+ as tad as +he GUYS. 


2<? 



















































'THe Marlee sis+ers live across from Rowley's House, 
ahd all five of +Hem were t>orh wi+Hih a few years 
of eacH o+Her. X doh + khow wH<*+ +Heir deal is, 
rls will Jus+ 

wHo come ih+o +Heir yard. 


rahdomly a++ack ^eo^le 


t>u+ +Hose ^i 



Emilia Greehwall lives a few doors dowh from +He 
Marlee sis+ers. Emilia always dresses like a ^>rihcess, 
ahd X +Hihk sHe s seeh +oo mahy Pishey noVies. 


FOLLOW 

YOUR 

DREAMS! 























La+ricid Hooks lives ih +Ke oY\t-s-iory Kouse dcross 
•from +Ke duplex, dhd sKes d six-*foo+-+wo Ki<}H 
school juhior. Rodrick woh + cjo dhywKere NEAR 
Ld+ricid; becduse sKe used +o tolly Kim wKeh Ke wds 

NY d^e. 



Ld+ricid's sis+er Vic+orid is ih love wi+K ^rY\ts^o 
Gu+ierrez -for some redsoh, dhd Vic+orid *s i>es+ 
■friehd, ^Velyh Xrimkle, dresses like d Vdn^ire. 


Xh fdc+ ; I'm ^>re++y sure 'Xvelyh +Kihks sKe IS d 
Vdn^ire, wKicK is ohe redsoh Im ^Idd X doh + ride 
+Ke t>us dhymore. 



31 















X KaVeh + eVeh meh+iohed HALF +Ke Lids wKo live 
oh my Kill* Bu+ i-f X weh+ dowh +Ke wKole lis+, i+d 

+ake FOREVER. 

Mom always asks me wKy X r*» ho+ -friehds wi+K ahy 
kids a+ +Ke BOTTOM o-f +Ke Kill; eVeh +Kou^K 
X ve +old Ker a millioh +imes wKy +Ka+ll hever 
HAPPEN. 


Surrey S+ree+ is divided ih+o +wo Kalves. TKere’s 
UPPER Surrey S+ree+, wKicK is +Ke Kill; ahd 
LOWER Surrey S+ree+, wKicK is +Ke -flai ^ari a+ 


+Ke i)o++om. 



Ahd eVeh +Kou^K we oil live oh +Ke same s+ree+, 
+Ke Kill kids dhd +Ke hoh-Kill kids cahT STAND 

ohe aho+Ker. 


32 









Living oh +Ke Kill is ho fuh. Eirs+ of all, i+s really 
far from +Ke scKool, and +U+ las+ s+re+cK a+ +Ke 
end of +Ke day is ho Joke. ESPECIALLY wKeh 
iVs Ko+ like i+ Us been la+ely. 



"TKe wors+ +Kihg abou+ living oh a Kill is +U+ +Kere s 
ho+ a lo+ you can DO oh i+. AU if you wah+ +o 
^lay wi+K a ball, you can forge+ abou+ i+. 



33 
















Bu+ +Ke kids wKo live a+ +Ke BOTTOM of +Ke Kill 
K<*Ve i+ MADE. 'TKeir ^>ar+ of +Ke s+ree+ is FLAT, 
so +Key cah do ahy+Kihcj +Key wah+ dowh +Kere. 
"TKa+s wKv all +Ke a+Kle+es come from LOWER 



*TKe +Kihg is, +Ke kids wKo live a+ +Ke Ko++om of 
our s+ree+ +Kihk +Key OWN i+. A^d if ahy of us 
Kill ^>eo^le come dowh +Kere +o PLAY, +Ke Lower 
Surrey S+ree+ kids wohT LET us. 


































Xh Aac+, +Ke reasoh i+ +ook rve Aour years +o 
learh +o ride a tike was because X had +o do i+ 
ih Aive-secohd s^ur+s. 



Bu+ wKeh i+ SNOWS, +he +atles are +urhed. All 
oA a suddeh +Ke Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids wah+ +o 
use our Kill Aor SLEDDING, i>u+ +|v*+s wheh we 


^ive +Kose ^uys a +as+e oA +heir owh medicihe. 



35 









































Most of tKe time we cah kee^> tKe Lower Surrey 
Street kids off tHe Kill. But tKeyVe SNEAKY; 
ahd sometimes +Key sli^ ^>ast us. 



Last wihter, a tuhcK of tHe Lower Surrty 
Street kids kou^Kt tKe sane wihter ^ear as tKe 
Kill kids, ahd H* was WEEKS before ahy of us 

cau 


»^Kt oh. 


O p 



















Xf you live oh Surrey S+ree+, youVe ei+Ker a 
HILL kid or a NON-Kill kid; Ahd +Kere*s ho 
swi+cKihej sides. 

here's a kid harmed TreVor Hix wKo lived oh +Ke Kill 
uh+il Ias+ sunner, wKicK is wKeh Kis fAnily proved +o 
a Kicker Kouse a+ +Ke {>o++om of +Ke s+ree+. 


Bu+ +Ke kids dowh +Kere s+ill cohsider Trevor a 
HILL ^trsoY\, so +Key woh + le+ Kin ^Ly oh +Ke 
s+ree+. Us Kill kids +Kihk of Kim as a +rAi+or for 
moVih0 ; Ahd we woh + le+ Kim sled ih +Ke wih+er. 

So how T^eVor is t>Asic.Ally s+uck ihdoors yeAr-roohd. 



37 






























here’s a lo+ o-f tad blood be+weeh +Ke U^er 
Surrey S+ree+ kids ahd +Ke Lower Surrey S+ree+ 
kids, which is why we cah*+ be -friehds. Bu+ 
wheheVer X +ry +o ex^laih +he si+ua+ioh +o Mon, 
she Jus+ doesh'+ ^e+ i+. 


Xh fac+, NONE o-f +he nons oh our s+ree+ do. 
TheyVe all -friehcis wi+h each o+her, ahd +hey have 
ho CLUE abou+ wh<*+s REALLY ^oih^ oh. 



La+ely, +hough; +hih<js have beeh ^>re++y caln oh 
our s+ree+. Us hill kids kee^ +o OUR side, ahd +he 
o+her ^uys 

sone+hih^ s+o^>idj +his whole ^>lace is cjohha BLOW. 


kee^> +o THEIRS. Bu+ i-f soneohe does 


33 












Suhda- 


Xhe +em^>era+ure droned atou+ -fi-f+eeh decrees 
over +he weekehd, so +oday my -family was ou+ 
lookih^ -for our ^e+ ^>13. 



< < - 1 — \ 


For CKris+mas Vaca +ioh, my -family weh+ away ahd 
we le-f+ +Ke ^>i<j ih a kehhel. Bu+ X ^uess +Ke ^>i<j 
+hou<jh+ i+ should Ve come WITH us, ahd i+ wash + 
+00 Ha^y ai)ou+ beihg le-f+ behihd. 



31 
















































































Vlheh we ^o+ hack HOME, +he ^i<} le+ us khow 

/ 

Vaca+ioh. 


how i+ fel+ abou+ ho+ beihg ihcluded oh our -famil 



Af+er <* -few days of +he ^’3 ac+ih^ ou+, Pad 
decided ehou^h was ehoucjh> ahd he seh+ i+ +o 
"obediehce school.” Bu+ +he hex+ morhihg we ^o+ 
a call from +he lady who ruhs +he ^>lace, ahd she 
said our ^i^ ESCAPED. 



4o 









































































Vie Ve beeh ^>u++ihg u ^ si^hs askih^ for Kel*p 
fihciih^ our los+ ^'3 ever sihce. Bu+ +Ha+ +Hih^ is 

SMART, so X doh+ +Hihk i+s LOST. X+jus+ 
doesh + wah+ +o be FOUND. 


X figure +Ke ^>ig is probably off HIBERNATING 

somewhere. Horn says ^s doh + do +ha+, bu+ if 

you ask me, X +bw’hk +hey SHOULD. 


Xf X was ah ahimal, +h<*Vs EXACTLY wKa+ TD 
be doih^ rigK+ how. Oh +He las+ day of +he fall, 
X +bwhk everyohe should ^e+ ih +Keir pajamas ahd 
cKeck ou+ uh+il +Ke s^rihg. 


SEE YOU 
GUYS IN MAY! 



VlKeh X was youY\^tr, X ac+ually TRIED +o 
bwberha+e, bu+ i+ didh + work. 



















X used +o ^e+ SUPER exci+ed -for Chris+mas, 
ahd ohce Pecember rolled arouhd i+ was really 
hard -for me +o wai+ uh+il +he big da 


So ohe year oh Pecember is+, X +old ny ^>areh+s 
X was gohha go +o slee^, ahd +h<*+ +hey shouldh + 
wake me u^> uh+il Chris+mas morhihg. X was ^>re++y 
surprised wheh +hey didh + ^>u+ u^> a *figh+. 



X weh+ +o bed +ha+ high+/ bu+ X ohly sle^>+ uh+il 
1*30 ^>.m. +he hex+ day. X>eh my slee^> schedule 
was screwed u^> -for +he hex+ +wo weeks. 



42 








































Mon says i+s IMPOSSIBLE lor 

+o Hit>erha+e, i)u+ Ih ho+ 100 % cohVihced 

Ws TRUE. 


hunah beihgs 


fere's +his ^rou^ of wild kids who live ih +he 
woods; ahd eVeryohe calls +hen +he Mihcjos. You 
heVer see +he Mih^os ih +he WINTER; ahd 
wheh +hey nake +heir firs+ a^earahce ih +he 
SPRING; +hey look like +he^ jus+ woke u^>. 


So if +hey re ho+ HIBERNATING; X doh + khow 
WHAT +hey re doiho alt wih+er. 



ou+ ahd deal wi+h +he cold wea+her. 














Ahd +he ohly way +o do THAT is +o s+ay ihside 
as much as ^ossihle ahd kee^> warm. 

Vlheh we 30+ tack -from our +ri^> a -few weeks 
a^o ; +here was a ^acka^e oh our froh+ s+e^>. 

X+ was a Chris+mas ^ift -from Aoh+ Poro+hy> 
ahd wheh we o^ehed i+; +here was a ^iah+ 
BLANKET ihside. 


"Tha+ +Kih^ was AMAZING. X+ was really soft, 
tu+ i+ was also HEAVY; which is exac+ly how X 
like my tlahke+s. *The ohly problem was +ha+ +he 
^ift was for all +hree of us toys, ahd we s+ar+ed 
figh+ihg over i+ ri<jh+ away. 



Vie wah+ed +0 use +he tlahke+ a+ +he same +ine, 
so Mon +ol<J us we were c^ohha K<*Ve +o +<»|ce 

TURNS w,+K ;+. 


44 









Bu+ +He +Hree o-f us Have hever keeh ary ^ood 
a+ SHARING, so Mom Had +o make a klahke+ 
schedule +Ha+ swelled oo+ wHo 30+ +o use i+ wKeh. 









6-00 RM. 

7 -30 RM, 

4:00 P-M. 






THa/nm^ 

T^lcwvt^ 



6=30 RM. 

8 ; 00 PM. 

8:30 PM. 












7:00 P.M. 

8:30 P.M. 

10-00 PM. 




"Roo&iwA 

RodE'ucA, 


Su+ +H<*+ wash + really FAIR. Manhy Has His 
OWN klahke+, so He was doukle-di^ih^. 



45 


VlHeh 1+ was NY -tom +o use +He klahkei, X "tried 

+o make +He mos+ o-f rt. 



























Bu+ i+ was rt<x\\y tard +o ehjo^ rysel-f, becAuse 
Rodriclc would s+Ar+ KoVerih^ over me wH eh X s+ill 
lv*d -fi-f+eeh mihu+es left oh my shi*f+. 



Vie eAc^ 30+ +Kree Hal-f-hour sKi-f+s a i>u+ 

Rodriclc would c|>eA+ MAhhy ou+ o-f MIS +urh \>y 
+Akihg +Ke t>lAhke+ ih+o +he l>A+hroom ricjh+ before 

MAhhy s shif+ was su^osed +o ST ART. "iReh 
Rodriclc would si+ ih +Here -for Ah MOUR, wHicH 
cu+ ih+o MY shift. 



% 








































So Hor * nade a rule +h<*+ we cah*+ +ake +he 
blahke+ ih+o +he t>a+hroon. 

Ohe hi^h+ X sle^>+ wi+h +he t>lahke+ ih ny roon; 
ahd Rodnck con^laihed because he wah+ed +o use 
i+ while he a+e i>reak-fas+. Hon nade a NEW rule 
+h<*+ said i*f you sle^>+ wi+h +he blahke+; i+ h<*d +o 
be re+urhed dowhs+airs by 3-*00 a.n. 


By +he ehd o-f +he *firs+ week; +here were so 
nahy rules +ha+ Hon h<*d +o ^>u+ +hen all ih a 
MANUAL; which ehded u^> beihcj sone+hihg like 
+weh+y~five ^a^es loh^. 



\JF 1 r. 


dt a \TT/rnr 



J3LAJN Kb 1 



USERS 



MANUAL 



— 









/ — s j 



/ f 



A j 

HI 












£>u+ THAT dicWi solve our ^rotlens, Ahd 
eVeh+uAlly Mon +ook +Ke tUhke+ AWAy +o ^ive i+ 
+o soneohe who * deserved * rh She SAi’d «+ was our 
fAul+ we couldhM- ^AVe sone+hih^ hice, becAuse we 

didh + khow how +o SHARE. 



Growh-u^>s Are aIwa^s +Alkih<j a{>ou+ how <jreA+ 
s^Anh^ is, bu+ ^ersohAlly, X +hihk i+s oVerrA+ed. 
Ahd if X ever ^e+ ehoucjh nohey, X n cjohhA 
to, Id a bi<j cAS+le aII for nyself, <*hd +here s ^ohhA 
be a bi<j heAVy bUhke+ ih every roon. 




































Mohcjdy 

VJHeh X woke u^> +his morhih^, i+ was below 
freezihg ou+side. X was relieved i+ Ac+uAlly fel+ like 

WINTER A^Aih, bu+ wheh Mom +old me X h<*d +o 
weAr +hermAl uhderweAr +o school, X +hou^h+ mAybe 
^Io1>aI WArmihg ish + such a i)Ad +hihg a f+er aII. 


X HATE weArihg +hermAl uhderweAr,, becAuse iVs 
uhcomfor+Able, Ahd X feel RIDICULOUS weArihcj 

i+. ThermAl uhderweAr looks cool wheh i+s oh +he 
mAhhe^uih a+ +he mAll, bu+ wheh X ^>u+ i+ oh, X 
jus+ look like a re+ired superhero. 



The mAhhe^uihs a+ +he mAll Are aIwa^s su^>er tuff, 
Ahd +hey mAke ^uys like me who cAhT s^>ehd +hree 
hours ih +he cjym every dAy look t>Ad. 


ifinn 
















X*f X ever ^e+ ih really ^ood sha^e, X^ ^ohha 
sicjh u^> +o be a mahhe<^uih model. Because +h<*+ would 
be ah awesome +hih<j +o bra^ abou+ oh a da+e. 



Xhe mahhe^uihs you see a+ +he s^or+s s+ore are 
always ih a+hle+ic ^osts, ahd i+ looks like i+ would 
be WARD +o s+ay ih +h<*+ ^>osi+ioh while someohe 
scul^+s you. A^d +Ka+ s jus+ +oo much e*ffor+ -for a 
job +ha+ should be EASY. 



50 
















So wheh X a^ly for +he job, X ^ ^ohha do i+ <*+ 
+he t>ed ahd ba+h s+ore. 



Mon says X n LUCKY +o have +hernal uhderwear, 

because our ANCESTORS didh + have +his kihd of 

s+uff +o kee^> +hen warn. 


Sone+ines X WONDER abou+ ny ahces+ors, 
+hou^h* X have ho idea why +hey chose +o live 
HERE wheh +hey could ve picked sonewhere a 


whole lo+ WARNER. 

























Bu+ X cah + com^laih; because +hey SURVIVED; 
ahd every+hih^ +hey did led direc+ly +o ME. X 
jus+ wish +hey could see how X +urhed ou+ so 
+hey*d khow all +heir sacrifices were WORTH i+. 



X ^uess we re ALL lucky +o be here; because 
hurrah beihcjs have h<*d +o <jo +hroucjh a LOT +o 
^e+ +o where we are how. 

A+ school; we learhed +h<*+ 10;000 years a^o a 
bicj shee+ of ice covered h<*lf +he ^>lahe+. A^d if 
^>eo^>le made i+ +hrou^h THAT; X ^uess we cah 
<je+ +hrou^h ANYTHING. 

My ieacher said +h<*+ ohe day +he ^Xar+h is 
^ohha be ih aho+her ice a^e ahd +he glaciers will 
come back; bu+ X ho^>e i+ doesh + h<*^eh ahy+ime 

SOON, 


52 









Xve Heard glaciers move SLOWLY; wHicH is a 
^ood +Hih^. Because maybe well Have a cHahce +o 
DO some+Hi^ abou+ i+. 



X doh+ khow wHicH is worse ; a ^>lahe+ +Ha+s +oo 
HOT or ohe +Ha+s +oo COLD. All X khow is 


+Ha+ +oday i+ was cold; ahd i+ wash+ fuh walkihg 
+o scHool ih +He morhih^. 


v 

X LIKE abou+ +He wih+er; bu+ X came u^> wi+H a 
really sHor+ lis+. CHns+mas is ^rea+ ahd all; t>u+ 
af+er +Ha+ i+ s jus+ a loh^ slo^ +o +He s^rih^. 


X +ried +o cHeer myself u^> 


+Hihkih^ of +Hihgs 


53 





















Xve decided +he ohly +hih^ +h<*+ ac+ually makes 
wih+er wor+h H* is +he NOT CNOCOLATE. X 
used +o be oh +he Safety Patrols, ahd Xd ^e+ free 
hot* chocola+e a+ school. Bu+ after X 30+ kicked 
off, X had +0 start trih^ih^ my OWN. 


Lately, X ve beeh fillihxj a thermos with hot 
chocolate every morhih<j, ahd that kee^s me warm 
oh the walk +0 school. 


But today, Pad mustve grabbed NY thermos 
ahd left me with NlS. A^d X didht realize wh<*+ 

ha^ehed uh+il X took a ^iaht ^ul^> of cream of 
mushroom sou^>. 



X wish Horn ahd Pad would drive me +0 school ih the 

morhihcj, but they leave a half hour before X do. 


5i 



























!We are some kids oh my Kill wKose ^>areh+s drive 
+Kem ih oh cold days like +oday. Bu+ wKeh me ahd 
Rowley +ry +o -fla^ +Kem dowh +o Ki+cK a ride, 
+Key wohT eVeh make eye coh+ac+. A^d +K<*+ 
really s+ihks, because us Kill kids are su^osed +o 
KaVe eacK o+Ker's BACKS. 



X+ was so cold ou+ +oday, +Ke +eacKers decided 
+o kee^> us ihdoors -for recess, wKicK was ^er-fec+ly 
fhe w.+K ME.. 


^TKe LAST -time we K<*d ou+door recess oh a day like 
+oday, Alber+ Sahdy was sayihg i+ was so cold +K<*+ 
your s^>i+ would freeze before i+ Ki+ +Ke GROUND. 


55 






Vlell, i+ +urhs ou+ Ke was WRONG, ahd recess 
+ha+ day was a +o+al NIGWTNARE. 



Usually, ihdoor recess ish'i Very -fuh. VleVe 

+o ^>lay board ^ames ahd do ar+s ahd 
cra-f+s, bu+ kids always ^e+ res+less ahd -fihd ways 
+o liveh +Kih^s u^>. 




So +oday, our +eac|\er said we were ^ohha +r 

some+bwh^ NEW. 


56 











She +au^h+ us how +o ^>lay a g<xne called 
"Museum,” where everyohe has +o -freeze like a 
s+a+ue ahd hold s+ill -for as loh^ as possible. 


X+ was ac+ually ^>re++y FUN, t>u+ wheh recess 
ehded, X realized i+ was Jus+ ah easy way +o ^e+ 
us +o BEHAVE -for a hal-f hour. 



Xhe +hihg X doh + like atou+ t>eih^ ihdoors a+ 
school ih +he wih+er is +ha+ a lo+ o-f kids are 

SICK, ahd X really doh + wah+ someohe ^e-bKh^ 
ME sick. 


Our school is FULL o-f ^ems, ahd NOBODY 


covers +heir mou+h wheh +hey cou^h 


or sheeze. 


57 



























VJalkih^ dowh +He Hallway t>e+weeh classes is like 
walkih^ +Krou^K a war zohe. 



Nobody remerd>ers +o sheeze ih+o +He crook of 
+Heir arm, ahd kids like Alber+ Sahdy areh'+ 
HELPING +Hihcjs. "Today a+ luhcH.> AlHer+ +old 
a s+ory at>oo+ a <juy wHo covered His sheeze, ahd 
wHeh He did> He blew His Head cleah OFF. 



53 

























X +old Alter+ His s+ory wash*+ +rue, bu+ He swore 
i+ WAS. He said +He ^uy ac+ually SURVIVED, 
ahd how Re works as a grocery badger a+ +He local 

SHo^>-h-PasH. 



AlterVs ALWAYS s^>readih^ tad ih-forma+ioh like 
+Ha+, ahd +He kids a+ ry +atle believe every word 
Ke says. So how +Heres ZERO cHahce ahy of 
+Hese ^uys will cover +Heir mou+Hs +He hex+ +ir*e 
+Hey Have +o sheeze. 


A couple of weeks a^o, Alter+ said +Ha+ wHeh 
someohe's ^>e+ dies ih +He wih+er, +Hey Have +o wai+ 
uh+il +He ^rouhd +Haws ih +He s^rihg before i+ cah 
be buried. He said +Hey heed somewHere +o KEEP 
+Heir ^e+s ih +He meah+ime. 














Alber+ said +he ^>eo^le ih our +owh use +Ke school 
cafe+enVs walk-ih -freezer +o s+ore +heir ^>e+s 
-for +^e wih+er, ahd +h<*+ ri^h+ how i+ s -full +o 


CAPACITY . 



X almos+ POSITIVE +his is jus+ aho+Ker ohe 
o-f Alber+ s s+u^id made-u^> s+ories. Bu+ uh+il we 
•fihd our PIG; XV* ho+ ^ohha order +He Pork 
Barbecue Special, Jus+ ih case. 


XVn seriously +Kihkih^ o-f c^ah^ih^ luhcbi -tables, 
because XT* +ired o-f si++ih^ wi+h Alber+ Sahdy 
ahd all +Kese o+Ker idio+s every day. Ohe kid X 
wohT miss is Teddy Silve+ii, wHo wears +Ke same 
swea+er all wih+er loh^. 


60 








































’Teddy's swea+er Has NEVER teen cleaned, and 
+Kere are -food s+ains all over i+. Some+imes +He 
kids a+ my +at>le +ry +o o^utss wHa+ eacH s+ain 
IS, which is wh<*+ +hey were doih^ +oday. 



See, +his is +he reasoh ^irls a+ my school have 
^>ic+ores of sih^ers ih +heir lockers. The ^uys 
ih my ^rade Jus+ areh + cjivihg +hem ahy <jood 


OPTIONS. 



X cah + eVeh IMAGINE how mahy cjerms are oh 
Teddy's swea+er, which is why X si+ a+ leas+ +wo 
sea+s away from Kim. 


61 









































Mos+ of my braih 
tabs oh whose ^erms ore WHERE. Ahd X*ve 
■filled +wo hotebooks this wihter. 



^ower at school c^oes to kee^ihcj 


10.03a.m. JuStin T 

Sneezed on hand arid 

■Vouched button on 

skater -fountain 

IQ:2I a-ro.: Shelby M. 

CougKecJ on pencil 

sharpener _ 

|Q:23 a.m..‘ Dylan L. 

Didn't wash hands 

after usincj the 

bathroom 


The times it ^ets tricky is when you have TWINS 
like Jeremy ahd Jamesoh Gar z&. X caht tell them 
a^>art, ahd today it looked to me like ohe was 

sick , but the other ohe WASNT. 


















































So X sho+ a s^i+tall ih +he sick ohe s hair +o make 
i+ easier +o kee^> +rack of him. 



The ohly GOOD +hih^ abou+ beih^ sick is +he 
cherry lozehges Mom ^ives me wheh X have a sore 
+hroa+. X khow you re su^^oseci +o suck oh +hem 
real slow, hu+ X chew +hose +hih^s like CANDY, 
ahd X 30 +hrough a few ^>acks a day. 


Xhe 31'rls ih my ^rade LOVE +he smell of cherry 
lozehcjes, which almos+ makes i>eih<^ sick WORTH i+. 



63 






























































Uh-for+uha+ely, +he GUYS ih my ^rade like +he 
Ve always 

+o GIVE +hem some. 




A -few weeks a^o, X +hou^h+ X *fel+ a sore +hroa+ 
comihg oh, ahd X t>rou^h+ +hree ^>acks o-f cherry 

ck ih my 

^>ocke+ ahd +Ke OTHER +wo ih my locker. 


lozehcjes +o scnool wi+h me. X ke^>+ ohe ^a 


Bu+ Jake McGough shi-ffed oo+ +Ke ^>acks X was 
kee^ihcj ih my locker, ahd t>y +Ke +ime X -foohd 
ou+, S^>eed Bum^ lv*d already picked +Ke lock. 



X wisK X didh + have +o 30 +o school a+ ALL 
durihg cold ahd seasoh. Mayte ohe day X ll toy 
ohe o-f +Hose t>i<j ^>las+ic turtles so X rn ho+ exposed 
+o o+Ker kids ^erms. 


64 











































Bu+ In sure my bubble woulcjh'i las+ a DAY before 
some j 


erk popped i+. 



'Xveh +K0U3K X h<*+e beih^ sick, X r*i kihd of ^lad 
+hey hdVeh*+ come u^> wi+h a cure -for +he cold ye+. 


Because if +hey DID, X wouldh + [)e able +0 -fake 
beihg sick ahd s+ay home -from school +0 ^>lay 
Video 3ames. 



65 






























X+ was eVeh colder -today oh +he walk HOME 
+Kah i+ was oh +he walk +o school. A^d +his -time 
me ahd Rowley were facih^ -the WIND,, which made 


i+ +eh -times WORSE. 



x+ was so tad +ha+ we h<*d +o make a few ^i+ 
s+o^>s oh -the way home. *The first* ^>lace we docked 
ih was -the ^>izza sho^>, tecaose -there’s a bi^ oVeh 
ih -there, so i+’s always warm ihside. Bot* wheh -the 
<joy who owhs -the ^>lace realized we wereh + ^ohha 
BUY ahy+hihg, he kicked os oo+. 


assh 

?£L/ / 





,i , 1 1 1 ,i ,t ; i , i ,t~ 

^ I 




'll 1 !, ,1 ,1 ' 





1 1 'l 1 1 1 l' I 1 \ 'l 'l 


66 


















































US 


Our hex+ s+o^ was +he +owh library. ‘T^aVs a 
public buildih^, ahd X khew +hey couldh*+ +ell 
+o leave. Bu+ wheh +he librariahs s+ar+ed ^ei+ihcj 


Wi4k 4kp krtnk c wa ui+ /^Vrv su OWN 



X wish we'd used +he ba+hroon ih +he library before 
we headed back ou+side, +hou^h^ because wheh we 
Rowley reall 

khocked oh a few doors , bu+ wh eh ^eo^>le saw us, 
+hey ^>re+ehded +hey wereh'+ hone. 


y heeded +o 30. Vie 




67 
















































Vie -finally ^o+ someone +o ANSWER, bu+ by +ha+ 
^>oin+ Rowley s -face was so -frozen, he couldn + 
even -form WORDS. 



By +he +ime 
Rowley was 

X knew none of +he Lower Surrey S+ree+ ^eo^>le 
were ^ohha le+ us inside +heir houses. 

there's a bi<j ROCK in Hr. Yee's firon+ yard, 
and X +old Rowley he should duck behind i+ +o do 
his business. Personally, X wouldnM* ^>ee ou+side in 
THIS kind of cold; because Alber+ Sandy +old us a 

+o a <juy who DID. 


s+ory abou+ wh<*+ ha^ened 


we 30+ +0 Surrty S+ree+, X +hough+ 
^onna have a medical emergency. Bu+ 


63 



































Bu+ X didhT feel like i+ was +he ri^h+ +ime +o 
meh+ioh +ha+ +o Rowley ahd X m ho+ really sure he 
had +o hunger ONE., ahyway. 

VJh<*+eVer he was doihg hack +here, he was +akihg 
FOREVER. Some of +he Lower Surrey S+ree+ 
kids came ou+ of +heir houses +o ^>lay, ahd before 
lohg Rowley had drawh a crowd. X jus+ hacked 
off; because X really didh + wah+ ^>eo^le +o khow 

X was with him. 



Xhahkfully ; Rowley wra^ed +hih^s u^> ahd we 
30+ ou+ of +here before ahyohe realized wha+ he 
was DOING. Because +his is Jus+ +he sor+ of 

s+u^>id +hih0 +ha+ could ehd u^> s^arkih^ a WAR. 


61 

























Tuesdc 


X- 


£+ was seriously cold A^Aih +Kis morhih^, so X 
du<j my scArf Ahd a ^>Air of old gloves ou+ of 
+Ke close+. Morn SAid X should weAr +Ke mi++ehs 
GrAmmA khi++ed for me Ias+ wih+er, 1>u+ wHeh 
sKe mAde +Kose +KiV^^s^ she forgo+ +o Add +he 

THUMBS . 



So wKeheVer X ^>o+ +hem oh, iVs i)AsicAlly like 
weArihg SOCKS oh my h<*hds. A^d +hey re 
+0+A I ly USELESS ih A showi)All 




7o 
























Mon said X should wear earnuffs, +oo, bu+ +he 
+hihg Xve learhed is +ha+ if kids khow you cahT 
hear +hen COMING , you rt jus+ ASKING for i+. 



"The reasoh X ^e+ so cold is because Xh SKINNY, 
ahd X dohT have ahy ihsula+ioh. E-Very wih+er, X 
+ry +o ea+ a lo+ +o ^ive nyself ah ex+ra layer of 
blubber. Bu+ X ^uess X Ve 30+ a fas+ ne+abolisn, 
because ho+hih^ X do ever seens +o WORK. 



X +hihk i+ was sone+hihg like +eh decrees ou+side 
+his norhihg, ahd oh +he walk +o school X s+ar+ed 
wohderihg if a ^ersoh's BLOOD could freeze. 


71 






































X've Heard ^eo^le are some+Hin^ like 60% WATER; 
so X ^uess i+’s POSSIBLE. Bo+ i+ kind of -feels 
like Some+Hin^ Alker+ Srthdy would moke u^>. 

YlW X was worried atou+ +He MOST was 
FROSTBITE. By +he +ime X was Hal-fway +o 
scHool; my ears were STINGING; ahd X really 
wished X H<*d lis+ehed +o Mom atou+ +He earmu-ffs. 


X +Hou^H+ ohe o-f my ears mi^K+ ac+oally -fall OFF; 
ahd +U+ X wooldn + no+ice un+il X was in class. 



MR. HEFFLEY, DO 
YOU HAVE YOUR 
HOMEWORK 
ASSIGNMENT? 


X+ wasn'+ jus+ py EARS X was worried akouT 
+K003K. A^<*ren+ly +Here are a LOT of tody 
^ar+s wKere you can ^e+ fros+kr+e. 


72 












X wouldh + w<*h+ +o lose my NOSE; because X d 
look a li++le -freaky wi+hou+ ohe. XKeh a^aih; 
my 

BATHROOM; so a+ leas+ THAT si+ua+ioh would 
^e+ a li++le t>e++er. 


desk ih Social S+udies is rigK+ hex+ +o +Ke 



PluS; my hose ALWAYS ruhs oh cold days; ahd X 
heVer realize X ve 30+ frozeh sho+ oh my -face uh+il 
i+s +oo la+e. 



73 











































X cl like +o Hahcj oh +o my LIPS, +oo, because if 
X didh + have +Hem i+ would always look like X was 
SMILING. A^d ih cer+aih si+ua+iohs, +H<*+ could 
be a real problem. 



X was lucky X fouhd +Hose GLOVES, because 
X wouldh+ wah+ +o lose ahy FINGERS, ei+Her. 

"THe ohly +Hih<j X d be willihcj +o cjive u^> would be my 
^ihky +oes, because X Hardly EVER use mihe. *THe 
las+ +ime X cah remember usihg +Hem was wHeh X 
was ih ^rescHool ahd X heeded +o couh+ +o +weh+y. 
Bu+ o+Her +Hah +H<*+, X m drawihg a blahk. 

























X 3 uess <* lo+ of OTHER kids were worried abou+ 
fros+bi+e, +00^ because wheh X 30+ +0 school; 
+here was a whole lihe of hoys ih +he ba+hroom 
wai+ihg +0 use +he Ka\nd dryer. A^d +h<*+ made me 
five miho+es la+e for firs+ period. 



X+ wash + as wihdy oh +he walk home +oday, bu+ 
i+ was jus+ as COLD. He ahd Rowley s+o^ed a+ 
+he ^iz za ^>lace a^aih +0 warm u^, because Rowley 
fouhd a cou^oh for +wo free mea+ball subs ih his 
coa+ ^>ocke+. 



75 






























A£+er we left +He ^>izza sHo^>, we s+ill H<*d a loh^ 
way +o walk. Bu+ +Ha+'s wHeh X Had ah idea. 

My Gramma's House is Hal-fway te+weeh our school 
ahd Surrty S+ree+, ahd X khew +Here was ho ohe 
HOME. Xv*+s because Gramma ^oes dowh sou+K 
eacH wih+er ahd doesh + come tack uh+il +He s^rihg. 


Purihg +He wih+er, Gramma sehds us ^>ic+ures of 

Herself ahd Her friehds ih +Heir ta+Hih^ sui+s +o 
le+ us khow +Ha+ sHe s HaVih^ a cjood +ime. 



Gramma +akes Her do^, Swee+ie, wi+H Her, +oo. So 
wHile X -freezih^ my tu++ off u^> Here, i+'s ^rea+ 
+o khow Swee+ie is lyihcj oh a teacH dowh sou+H 
soakih^ u^> +He suh. 

ni’O;. 



76 

















Grandma usually kee^s a key ihside her gardeh 
ghome righ+ hex+ +o +he froh+ door. A^d sure 
ehough,> +h<*+s EXACTLY where i+ was -today. 



X -figured we could use Gramma s house +o warm 
u^> before -the las+ ^>ush home. Rowley was Y\tr\/ous 
about* us goihg ihside wi+h ho adul+s home, but* X 
-told him Gramma was FAMILY, ahd she d WANT 
me +o use her house while she was away. 



Ylheh we walked ih, X was ^re++y surprised. X+ 
was like ah ICEBOX ih -there, so X guess Gramma 

^urY\s dowh +he +hermos+a+ for -the wih+er. 


77 

























Usually, Gramma CRANKS +he Kea+. VJheh she's 
home, i+s so warm +h<*+ you Kave +o ea+ your ice 
cream sandwich wi+h +he freezer drawer o^>eh or 
+he ice cream will mel+ ih your Ka^cis. 



'The firs+ +hih^ X did when we 30+ inside 
Gramma s was +urh u^> +he +hermos+a+. X+ was 
+akihg a while for +he house +0 hea+ u^>, +hou^h, 
so X +urhed oh +he oVeh ahd we warmed u^> ih a 


HURRY . 



73 














































Gramma had a buhch of shacks ih her refri^era+or; 
ahd me ahd Rowley helped ourselves. Bu+ while we 
were ea+ih0; we saw some MOVEMENT ou+ +he 
froh+ wihdow. 


X+ was Mrs. McNeil, Grammas shoo^y hex+-door 
hei^hbor. She mus+Ve ho+iced +he licjh+ from +he 
ahd how she was +ryihcj +o see ihside. 



Vie s+ayed ou+ of si^h+> ahd eveh+ually Mrs. 

McHeil weh+ away. Bu+ how X khew we had +o he 
CAREFUL; because X really didhT heed her callih^ 
+he COPS. So we <jo+ dowh low ahd weh+ ih+o +he 
livih<j room; where Gramma has her TV. 

















Gramma has ALL +he cable chahhels, ahd luckily 
she didh + shu+ THOSE dowh for +he wih+er. Bu+ 
we couldh'+ risk a++rac+ihg Mrs. McHeil a^aih, 
so we ^>u+ a blahke+ over ourselves AND +he 
+eleVisioh, ahd wa+ched i+ THAT way. 



X ^uess we kihd of los+ +rack of +ime, because 
wheh we shu+ off +he TV, i+ was DARK ou+. By 
how i+ was hice ahd +oas+y ih Gramma s house, ahd 
X really didh + wahha ^o back ou+ +here ih +he 
cold. So X had ah idea ■for how +o make +he walk 
home a li++le more COMFORTABLE. 


X figured if we warmed u^> our clo+hes ih Gramma's 
dryer before we headed back ou+, i+ would +ake 
+he ed^e off for +he res+ of +he +ri^>. So we weh+ 
dowh +o +he basemeh+ where Gramma kee^>s her 

lauhdry machihes ahd ^u+ ih a load of clo+hes. 


SO 








Vie se+ +he +imer +o +hir+y mihu+es Ahd WAi+ed. 
Bu+ i+ was a li++le AwkwArd hahgihg ou+ ih our 
uhderweAr while +he dryer did i+s +hihg. 



Plus, i+ was COLD ih +he i>Asemeh+, so we looked 
Arouhd for some+hih^ +o WEAR. Rowley -fouY\<\ 
a sweA+shir+ X ^AVe GrAmmA for her t>ir+hdAy, 
Ahd he ^u+ THAT oh. Bu+ X didh + feel RIGHT 

weArihg GrAnrWs clo+hes. 


WORLD'S' 
BEST 

GRANDMA! 
































X fouhd a swea+er +h<*+ Gramma khi++ed for 
Swee+ie, ahci i+ fi+ t>e++er +h<*h X ex^>ec+ed. Bu+ 
i+ was a li++le ITCHY, ahd X couldh'+ remember if 
Swee+ie ever had FLEAS. 



Bu+ while X was lookihcj arouhd for some+hihcj +o 
swa^> 1+ wi+h, we heard NOISES u^s+airs. 

My FIRST +hou^h+ was +ha+ Gramma <jave Mrs. 
McHeil a key +o +he house, ahd how she was ihside. 
Bu+ Rowley said i+ mi cjh+ be a BURGLAR who 
khew ho ohe was home, ahd X +hou^h+ may he he 

was Right. 


clomp clomp 



82 


































Vie Heard some more s+om^ih^ arouhd u^s+airs, ahd 
wHeh +He door +o +He tasemeh+ o^ehed; we bo+H 
•freaked ou+. 


X looked arouhd for some+Hihcj +o use +o 
DEFEND mysel-f, bu+ +He bes+ X could come u^> 
wi+H was a +oile+ ^luh^er. 


Rowley grabbed a cah o-f lemoh dus+ s^ray ahd ohe 

o-f Gramma's purses. A^d wHeh we Heard foo+s+e^s 
comihg dowh +He s+airs, we traced ourselves. 



XHe foo+s+e^s PAUSED wHeh +Hey cjo+ hear +He 
bo++om, ahd +Ha+s wHeh we made our MOVE. 


S3 
































X+ +urhed ou+ i+ wash + Mrs. McHeil, ahd i+ 
wash*+ a BURGLAR; ei+her. X+ was MOM. 



She was +here +o do a load o-f lauhdry, sihce our 
washihg machihe a+ home is trokeh. 


Mom didh + say much. She jus+ +old us +o ^e+ our 
wih+er clo+hes tack oh ahd +o ^e+ ih +he car. 

A^d she was +o+ally sileh+ oh +he ride tack +o our 
hei^htorhood; which was really AWKWARD. 









































X ‘figured as sooh as Rowley was ou+ of +Ke car, 
Mon was cjohha yell a+ ne for teihcj a+ Granna s 
house wi+hou+ ^ernissioh. Bu+ she didh + say 

ANYTHING, ahd she didh + neh+ioh i+ +0 Pad 
dorih^ dihher, ei+her. 


Af+er X fihished doihcj +he dishes, Mon +old ne 
s|\e wah+ed +0 have a +alk ih ny roon. She said 

s ny a^e +0 
"nake believe,” ahd +ha+ +here was ho+hih<j +0 
feel ashaned of. Theh she said she was ^lad ne 
ahd Rowley were usihcj our ina^iha+iohs ihs+ead of 
^>la 




i+ was ^>erfec+ly hornal for toy 



X have ho IDEA wha+ Mon +hough+ we 
were doih^ ih Granna's baseneh+. Bu+ +0 be 
hohes+ wi+h you, X kihd of wish she had jus+ 
GROUNDED ne ihs+ead. 


S 5 

























FEBRUARY 


VJedhesda 




X+s beeh showih^ for +he ^>as+ few days, ahd 
las+ hi^H+ we 30+ aho+her ihch ahd a Half. 
Uhfor+uha+ely, +ha+ wash + ehoucjh +0 close school, 
ahd eVeh if H* showed MORE +Hah +ha+, X doh + 
+bwhk +Hey would Ve <jiveh us +he day off. 



Vie ohly cje+ a cer+aih amouh+ of show days eacH 
year, ahd if we use +hem all, +Heh we KaVe +0 
make u^> for +hem durihg summer Vaca+ioh. Ahd 
we Ve already burhed +hrou^H mos+ of our show 
days for +biis wih+er, eVeh +hou<jH SOME of +Kem 
+ecKhically wereh*+ used because of SNOW. 


Xh Pecember, +he school sKu+ dowh for +Kree 

days because of a LICE epidemic. 


36 































Ylh<*+ ha^ehed was +ha+ Lily Bodher cane +o 
school wi+h Lead lice, bu+ X ^uess she didh + khow 
i+. A^d i+ SPREAD wheh she +ook ^ic+ures wi+h 
her -friehds. 


^fcOING SPROJ^s 



So if we re si++ih0 ih a ho+ classroom ih July, X 


^uess we cah all +hahk Lily -for +akih^ selfies. 



Some+imes, wheh i+ shows ih +he morhihcj, +heyll 
<^’Ve us a HALF day. Bu+ X ^ ho+ a bicj fah of 
half days, because we s+ill have +o walk all +ha+ 
way jus+ +o 


^>u+ ih a tew hours a+ school. 


Ylh<*+ REALLY s+ihks is wheh +he school looks a+ 
+he wea+her forecas+ ahd decides ih advahce +ha+ 

+he NEXT day is cjohha be a half day. 


87 











Oh a half day ; +he school schedule is +he same; 
bu+ every+hih^ +akes half +he +ime. Tha+ ^oes 
•for DETENTION; +oo. A^d all +he bullies ih our 
school khow +ha+ if +hey do some+hihg bad +he 
day BEFORE a half day; +hey II ohly ^e+ half 
+he PUNISHMENT. 



Some+imes school ^e+s cahceled because i+ s 

SUPPOSED +o Show; ahd +heh i+ DOESNT. 

Tha+s because +he school relies oh our local TV 
wea+hermah for +he forecas+; ahd he s wrohg a+ 
leas+ 50 % of +he +ime. 



GARY G< 

Vj § V 

OOFS 

f # ) 



• 0 » 




AGAIN! 



S3 































Oh Mew Years 'Xve, he said i+ was ^ohha be 
"T-shir+s ahd shor+s wea+her” +he hex+ day, bu+ 
+heh i+ showed +hree ihches. A^d wheh ^>eo^le 
saw him a+ +he grocery s+ore, +hey le+ him khow 
+hey wereh'+ h<*f 


*??/• 



Hohes+ly, X doh+ see how +his $uy s+ill has a JOB. 
B>u+ X ^uess as lohg as ^>eo^!e like ny ^>areh+s +uhe 

ih every high+; he s ho+ <joih^ ANYWHERE. 


Ji T_.cir.ii L\/ /A.71" l A/r\ 


1 > 

< WHIFFED ON > 

YOU \ 




A THAT ONE, >’ 
> FOLKS! > 

V ANYWAY f 
VgARY!^4J 


1 1 * IL rt 





































X couldh + fihd ohe of ny cjloVes +Kis norhih^, 
so X looked -for a re^>laceneh+. X was already 
ruhhih^ la+e, so +Ke t)es+ X could cone u^> wi+K 
was a ^>u^e+ Mon t>oucjK+ +o +ry ahd ^e+ ne +o 
ea+ Keal+Ky food wKeh X was youY\$tr. 



X ^uess Mon +Kou<jh+ +Ka+ if Mr. Morsels liked 
Ve^e+akles, +Keh X would, +oo. Bu+ X used Mr. 
Morsels +o ea+ MY Ve^e+at>les, ahd wheh X fouhd 
Kin +oday ih +Ke close+, Ke s+ill |v*d s+aihs oh 
Kis face fron +Ke ^>eas X wouldh + +oucK ih +He 
secohd ^rade. 



% 















X khow iVs kihd of ridiculous +o wear a ^>u^e+ 
as a ^loVe, ahd X MOSTLY re-entered +o kee^> 
+h<*+ +hihg +ucked ih -y coa+ ^>ocke+ oh +he walk 
+o school. 


Bu+ wheh Cassie Prehch rode by ih her -onfs 


car, X TOTALLY for^o+ Mr. Morsels was s+ill 



S^eakihg of GIRLS, +here's beeh a BIG chah^e 
+o +he Safe+y Pa+rols ih +he ^>as+ few weeks. 


There used +o be a lo+ of BOYS oh +he Pa+rols, 
bu+ —os+ of +he— <^ui+ or <jo+ kicked off before 
+he s+ar+ of +he hew year. 














XU Ias+ +wo toys oh +U pA+rols were 'Xric 
Reyholcis Ahd Poucjie pihcU wU were to+H 

cA^>+Aihs. Bu+ +Uy Kc\c4 +Uir Ud^es +Akeh AWAy 
ih +U firs+ week of jAhuAry when +Uy 30+ ih+o 
a showball fi^U ih froh+ of +U kihder^ar+eh 
classroom a+ +U elemeh+Ary scKool. 



So how +U Sdife+y pA+rols Are 100% GIRLS. 
Ahd X II te+ +Uy Ve teeh ^lAhhihg a +AkeoVer for 

a WHILE. 


XU reasoh is because +he <jiys a+ py school cah 
be real JERKS. Ahd wheh i+ shows , +h tj'rt 

REALLY bad. 



























A£+er <» while, XV> sore +he <^'rls 30+ SICK o-f i+, 
dh<j +h<*+s why +hey ^>u+ +hemselves ih charge. 



How +H<*+ +Ke cjirls are ih ^>ower ; iheyVe ho+ messih^ 
arouhd. Xf you +hrow a sih^le showball oh a school 
day, +he Safe+y Pa+rols will re^>or+ you +o +he 
^rihci^al, ahd i+ ll ^e+ you ah au+oma+ic sus^ehsioh. 


So +he cjirls are Jus+ PRAYING ohe of us ^uys 
will s+e^> ou+ of lihe. 



*?3 











































Today +He road was cleared; bu+ +Ke sidewalk 
WASN'T. VlHeheVer +ha+ ha^ehs, ne ahd 
Rowley Jus+ walk ih +he road. Bu+ +Kese hew 
Safe+y Pa+rols are s+icklers for +he rules , ahd 
+Key woh'+ le+ us walk ih +he s+ree+, eVeh +Kou^K 

THEY do ;+. 



Bu+ i+ s ^rac+ically IMPOSSIBLE +o walk oh +he 
sidewalk wHeh i+ hash'+ t)eeh flowed; ESPECIALLY 
e are clearihg +Keir 


























Xh Aac+, iVs hard +o eveh khow where +he sidewalk 
IS, ahd +his morhih^ X almos+ t>us+ed a kheeca^> oh 
a Aire hydrah+ +ha+ was tuned ih a showdnAt. 



Xhe +hihg +ha+ REALLY s+ihks is +h<*+ +he SaAe+y 
Pa+rols make all us ^uys walk oh +he SXP^VJALK, 
tu+ +hey le+ all +he GIRLS walk oh +he ROAD. 



<?5 












VJHeh me ahd Rowley 30+ +o school +oday, we were 
+o+ally wi^ed ou+ -from +He +ri^ ih. Bu+ +he ^irls ih 
our class were -fresH ahd ready +o ^o. A^d i*f ohe 
o-f +hem ^oes oh +o be ^>resideh+, iVs because +hey 
30+ ah uY\-f<xlr advah+a^e back ih middle school. 


WHO WOULD LIKE TO 
COME TO THE BOARD 
.AND DO THIS PROBLEM?, 



X doh + really blame +he Sa-fe+y Pa+rols -for 
s+ickih^ i+ +o +Ke ^uys ih my ^rade. Mos+ boys are 
basically SAVAGES, ahd +Key make civilized ^uys 
like ME look bad. 


Bu+ wi+K +Kis hew Sa-fe+y Pa+rol si+ua+ioh, X Ve 
beeh +Kihkih^ +here mi 3H+ be a way -for me +0 
se^>ara+e my set-f -from +hose -fools. 


% 














Xf X cah work FOR +he Safety Pa+rols, X cah 
s+ay oh +Keir GOOD side. A^d if X re^>or+ +he 
+roui>lemakers +o +he ^irls, +heh +Key 1 l OWE me. 



For some rt<xsoY\, +Kou^K; shi+chih^ is really frowhed 
oh ih my school. Xf you +ell oh a kid for doih^ 
some+hih^ WRONG; +heh tVzryoY\z says youVe a 
+a++le+ale; ahd iVs hard +o recover from +h<*+. 


Bu+ from wh<*+ X cah +ell; +he ohly ^>eo^le +he 
"ho shi+chih^ +hihg hcl^>s are +he BULLIES. X m 

sure +hey re +he ohes who came u^> wi+h +he idea ih 
+he FIRST ^>lace. 



°n 















Persohally, X doh*+ have ANY problem wi+h 
shi+chihg. A^d a^areh+y, you cah make MONEY 
off of beihg a +a++le+ale. 


Rodrick +old me abou+ a cjuy ih Rs hi<}H school who 
+urhed ou+ +o be a 'hare, which meahs +he cjuy 
PRETENDED +o be a hi<)h-schooler, bu+ he was 
ac+ually a co^> ih DISGUISE. 



Xve heard abou+ +his kihd of +hih^ before, 
ahd some+imes X wohder if +here are hares ih 
MIDDLE school, +oo. 


There's a hew kid hamed S^ahe Browhihcj who 
cane +o our school ih +he middle of +he year, ahd 
he looks a lo+ older +hah +he res+ of us. X rn 

s+ar+ihg +o wohder if maybe ME S a hare. 




So X Ve t>eeh cjivih^ hi^ +he ihside scoo^> oh nr 
classma+es, Jus+ ih case he is. 



Ahy way, +he show si+ua+ioh is causihej a LOT o-f 
problems. For +he ^>as+ -few days, kids have beeh 
wearihg +heir boo+s ih school, ahd everyohe +racks 
show +hrou^h +he hallways. 


So +oday, +he +eachers made everyohe +ake o-f-f 
+heir boo+s ih +he eh+ryway. Bu+ +he show oh +he 

boo+s MELTED ahd made a cjiah+ PUDDLE. 



















"Ttieh kids WALKED +Krou^K +Ke puddle oh +heir 
way +o class, ahd before lohg every ohe’s socks were 
SOAKED. Ohe +hih<j led +o aho+her, ahd by +Kird 
^trioA i+ was jus+ con^le+e CHAOS ih +he hallways. 



X+ 30+ so tad +he ieachers had +0 collec+ all of 
our socks ahd kee^> +hem ih +he froh+ office. 



Bu+ a buhch of tarefoo+ middle schoolers ish + such 


a <jrea+ +Kih^ ; ei+her. 


100 


















A+ +he ehd o-f +he day , we all weh+ +o +he froh+ 
o-ffice +o ^e+ our socks. Bu+ r^os+ socks look +he 
SAMEL so ho ohe could +ell which ohes belohcjed 
+o who. 



Luckily Jake HcGou^h h<*s a really ^ood sehse 
o-f smelly ahd he paired each kid u^> wi+h +heir 
correc+ socks. 



101 
























He eveh 30+ +he socks ricjh+ -for +he Garza +wihs, 
which you have +0 admi+ is ^re++y IMPRESSIVE. 



+oday, sihce me ahd Rowley didh + have Gramma s 
house +0 use as a ^>i+ s+o^>. Bu+ +h<*+ didh + meah 
+he walk home was EASY. 


You re ho+ allowed +0 +hrow showballs oh +he way 
home from school. Bu+ AFTER you <je+ home, you 
cah do ahy+hihg you WANT. 


So kids who live close +o school h<*Ve £<jured ou+ -th<*+ 
i-f +hey dro^ +heir ba^s o-f-f a+ +heir houses , +ha+ 
couft+s as beihg HONE. Theft +hey come a-f+er +he 
kids like me ahd Rowley who s+ill have a loft^ way +o 

WALK. 


102 








BlFFrfL . 



TKe SAFETY PATROLS ^e+ arTushed, +oo. 

Bu+ roles are roles, and +Key’re ho+ allowed +o 


6 3 H+ BACK. 

A^d +hey ^e+ a++acked -from to+K SIDES. Some 



103 





























Xts su^osed to show ahother -few ihches tonorrow. 
X told ny ^>arehts that XVv savihg u^> for a 
SNOWMOBILE so gettihg +o school ish t such a 



But Hon ahd Pad started listihg all the rt<kSoY\s 
why a niddle school kid caht have a shownobile, 
ahd after a while X kihd of tuhed then out. 


Ay tine X cone u^> with a good idea, ny ^>arehts 
shoot it dowh. “They did the sane exact thihg 
wheh X had ny dogsled idea LAST wihter. 


X figured if X bought a few dogs ahd traihed 
then to ^>ull a sled; gettihg +o school ih the 
norhihg would be a SNAP. 







X ^oess ny ^>areh+s +hou^h+ X was JOKING } 
+Kou^K.» because +Hey +old ne X should 30 for i+. 


Bu+ wheh X used ny Chris+mas nohey +0 buy a 
li++er of ^u^^ies fron +he lady u^> +he s+ree+, 
Mon ahd Pad nade me re+urh every las+ ohe. 



105 

































IWsdc 


X- 


Today reminded me why +he winter is my least 
■favorite time of year. 


Tt was Aho+Her showy dAy, bu+ +His morhihg X 
decided +o do some ex+rA ^re^ArA+ioh +o s+Ay wArm 
oh +He WAy +o school. PAd li+ a fire before He left 
for work, Ahd X figured X could use i+ +o WArm 
u^> my coa+ Ahd boo+s before X ^>u+ +Hem oh. 


Bu+ X ^>u+ my boo+s +oo close +o +He fire, Ahd 
+He rubber soles mel+ed ih+o +He bricks. So wHeh i+ 

was +ime +o go , +Hey wouldh+ BUDGE. 



Rowley was comih^ by +o cje+ me a+ a hy mihu+e, so 
X Had +o -figure. ou+ some+Hihg ELSE +o weAr oh 
my fee+. 


106 









































X khew +he Safe+y Pa+rols woulcWi le+ us walk 
ih +Ke s+ree+, ahd my sheakers were ^ohha ^e+ 
SOAKED if X W +o walk +Krou^K +Ke show. 


So X crea+ed my owh SNOWSHOES ou+ of ^>izza 
boxes ahd duc+ +a^>e. A^d by +He +ime Rowley 
khocked oh +|\e door, X was ready +o <jo. 



X ve ^o++a say, my showsKoes worked eVeh be++er 
+h<*h X EXPECTED. Xh fac+, X was moVihg 



SKI S* 


107 


























Bu+ ohce we <jo+ +o +he bo++om of Surrey S+ree+; 
+Kih^s fell a^>ar+. 


XKe boxes 30+ SOGGY; ahd X s+ar+ed sihkih^ 
ih+o +Ke show. Ahd +Keh i+ was eVeh WORSE 
+Kah havihg shea Jeers oh; because how X was 
dra^ihej +Hese we+ BOXES alohej wi+K me. 



X Jchew +Kis wash+ workih^; so X Had Rowley +ry 
+0 Kel-p me ^>ull +He boxes off my sheakers. Bu+ i+ 
was ^rac+ically IMPOSSIBLE; because +Hey were 
double-wra^ed ih duc+ +a^>e. 



108 



















Uhfor+uha+ely, we were ri^K+ a+ +he ed^e of +he 
and +Key Ve 

Xta do^s were curious abou+ wKa+ we were doing, 
and +H<*+ wasn*+ helping +hings. 



Guzmans yard ; 



^fKeh +Ke dogs go+ AGGRESSIVE and s+ar+ed 
■figK+ihg over +he ^>izza boxes. Xv*+ s wHen X 
remembered +Kere were a -few slices of zza s+ill 
in +Kem. 



10"? 
































The do^s chewed u ^ +he ^\zz<x boxes, and +hahkfull 
didh + +ake off my FEET. 

bu+ nr 

soaked ih +he show. 


as 


<|uick 


as we coul 


Id; 


Vie cjo+ ou+ of +here 
' sheakers were ^e++ih^ 


The secohd X s+e^ed oh+o +he s+ree+, +hou^h, 
+he Safe+y Pa+rols were ri<jh+ +here wi+h +heir 
whis+les. So X had +o jus+ suck i+ u^> ahd walk oh 
+he sidewalk. 



X+ didh + +ake lohcj for +he COLD +o se+ ih. 
X was \t^orrit<\ X could lose my TOES if X 

didh + fihd a way +o warm +hem u^>. Bu+ +he 
school was s+ill a lohcj way off, ahd X was 
des^era+e. 


110 













So we s+o^ed every -few looses, ahd X'd sKoVe 
my fee+ ih+o a dryer Veh+ uh+il X 30+ +he feelih^ 
back ih my +oes. 



Vie fihally made i+ +0 school. Bu+ i+ +ook me a 
mihu+e +0 realize i+ was almos+ as cold *V\ THERE 
as i+ was OUTSIDE. 



A^<*reh+ly wU+ Ha^ehed was +h<*+ +Ke sock 
smell -from yes+erday was so s+roh^ +Ka+ i+ was 
+00 much for +he hi^K+jahi+or. 


Ill 


















So he weht arouhd ahd o^ehed all the wihdows +o 
let some fresh air circulate. 



But theh X ^uess he forgot to CLOSE the 
wihdows at the ehd of his shift. A^d the furhace 
couldht jcee^> u^j so it shot dowh. Th<*+ meaht we 
h<*d a whole day of school with NO HEAT. 


A+ first the teachers let us wear our wihter stuff 
ih class. But X guess that was too weird/ so +Hey 
changed +Heir mihds <*hd made us ^u+ our ^ear ih 
+Ke lockers. 



112 
















Xh H»s+ory we were FREEZING, tu+ our +eacHer 
was jus+ FINE. Mrs. Vlilley kee^s a s^ace Hea+er 
hex+ +o Her desk, ahd s He H<*d +H<*+ +Hihg 
crahked +o +He MAX. 



HalFway +Hrou^H class, a ^irl hamed Becky 
Cosgrove +i^ed over Her desk ahd s+ar+ed 
yellih^, wHicH was +o+ally rahdom. 


As ^>uhisHr v 'eh+, Mrs. Vlilley made Becky si+ ih a cHair 
hex+ +o Her desk. A^d i+ +ook a mihu+e For +He 
REST oF os +o -figure oo+ wka+ Becky s ^ame was. 



113 































Bu+ kids ih middle school are idio+s, ahd wi+Hih 
+Kir-ty secohds EVERYONE was +ryihcj +o ^e+ 
sea+ hex+ +o Mrs. Vlilley. 


a 



For +He res+ of +He day, everybody did wHa+eVer 
+Hey could +o kee^> WARN. A^d some kids 30+ 
^re++y CREATIVE abou+ i+. 


Vie Had a scHool ^>lay a few weeks a<jo, ahd 
somebody Had +He bri^H+ idea +o <je+ ohe of +He 
cos+umes from beHihd +He s+a^e. 



114 


























VlKile mos+ of us were freezihg our fco++s 
off INSIDE, +He show was really ^ilih^ u ^ 
OUTSIDE. A^d t>y four+H period, ^eoyle were 
freakihg ou+ +Ka+ we were ^ohhA i>e s+uck a+ 
school OVERNIGHT. 


A+ luhch, kids i>ou^h+ u^> eVery+hih^ ih +he cafe+eriA 
so +Key d have some+hihg +o ea+ if we 30+ showed ih. 
Tha+ seh+ eVeryohe ELSE ih+o a ^Ahic, so kids made 



A+ +h<*+ ^oih+, ^eo^>le were jus+ +ryih^ +o ^e+ +heir 
hahds oh ahy+Kih^ +ha+ was EDIBLE. A rumor 
spread +h<*+ +here was food ih +he SCIENCE lat ^ 

so a tuhcK of kids rah dowh THERE. 


115 





And -from wh<*+ X heard; +hey picked +h<*+ ^>lace 

CLEAN. 



X +hink +he ^rihci^al could see +W sKe was abou+ 
+o Have a RIOT oh her hahds; so she ahhouhced 
ah early dismissal. 


Vlell +h<*+ was ^rea+ hews -for everyohe who rode 
+he BUS home ; bu+ us kids who had +o WALK 
didn't have i+ so easy. X really wash+ looking 
•forward +o walking home ih a shows+orm; so X 
came u^> wi+h ah IDEA. Vlhirley Street ish’t too 
•far -from OUR heightorhood, so X figured me ahd 
Rowley could ride oh THEIR t>us ahd theh WALK 

the rest o-f the way. 


116 
















































So after we 30+ dismissed, we headed straight for 
the bus lihe. A^d we were so buhdled u^> ; hobody 
eveh NOTICED wheh we 30+ oh board. 



X Ve ^o++a say; i+ was kihd of WEIRD beihcj oh 
the bus wi+h the VJhirley Street kids; because 
those ^uys are our ENEMIES. They used +0 sled 
oh our hill every wih+er uh+il they discovered the 
13 +h hole at the ^olf c ourst. 

The 13 +h hole is LEGENDARY; ahd everyohe 
khows i+s +he bes+ sleddihg hill ih our +owh. 

But +he problem is +ha+ +he ^olf c ourst is ^>ar+ 
of +he couh+ry club; so if you sled +here; you re 

TRESPASSING. 


117 



















Las+ year X wah+ed +o see wh<*+ +he -fuss over +he 
13 +h hole was all ahou+, so X 30+ Rowley +0 come 
wi+h me. Bu+ Rowley was SUPER hervous abou+ 
+he +res^>assihg +hihg, so he dicjh + wah+ +0 <jo. 


X had +0 remihd Rowley +ha+ he ahd his family 
are MEMBERS of +he couh+ry clot); so +echhically 
he WOULDN'T he +res^assih^. 


fa mil 

lose +heir membership if he 30+ caucjh+ sledding. So 
+0 disguise hir^self^ he shook his face really fas+, 
ahd kep+ +h<*+ up +he whole +ime we were +here. 


Bu+ X ^uess Rowley was worried his 




X Ve ^o++a admi+ ; +he 13 +h hole 
people SAID i+ was. 


was ever 


■y+hi^3 


113 












£+ was really STEEP, ahd someohe {>uil+ u^> a 
mouhd of show hear +he i>o++om where kids were 
ca+chihg some SERIOUS air. 



Vie 30+ ih a few ^ood ruhs, bu+ +haVs wheh +he 
WHXRLEY S+ree+ kids came ahd kicked eVeryohe 
course so +hey could have i+ +0 

THEMSELVES. 


ELSE off +he ^olf 























Bu+ X was OK wi+h i+. As Ioh^ as +hose ^uys 
areh'+ causih^ -trouble oh OUR s+ree+, +hey cah 
haVe +he whole GOLF COURSE For all X care. 


'The bus ride wi+h +he Vslhirley S+ree+ kids wash'+ a 
lo+ oF Fuh, bu+ me ahd Rowley Jus+ +ried +o kee^> 
a low profile so ho ohe would ho+ice us. 




120 

































'The secohd i+ ha^ehed; +he driver gulled over. 
She said she wash + moVihcj uh+il +he ^ersoh who 
+hrew +he showball +urhed +hemself ih. 



Like X said before, +heres a ho shi+chihg' rule ih 
middle school, so ho ohe from +he back of +he bus 
made a PEEP. X wish X khew who did i+, because 
X would Ve ^iVeh +hem u^> ih a HEARTBEAT. 


X was f>re++y sure +he bus driver was jus+ 
BLUFFING abou+ ho+ moVihcj, ahd +ha+ we d be 
oh our way wi+hih a few mihu+es. 


Bu+ +heh she broke ou+ a BOOK, ahd s+ar+ed oh 
^a^e ONE. So we Jus+ sa+ +here ahd wai+ed for 
ah HOUR while she redd. 


121 





























Xhe wors+ ^>ar+ abou+ +he whole +hihg was +h<*+ 
+he bus driver +urhed o-ff +he ENGINE, so +here 
was ho HEAT. 



Xhere was some cohVersa+ioh <^oihg oh ih +he back 
o-f +he bus,, ahd X +hihk a -few kids were +ryihg 
+o ^e+ +he ohe who +hrew +he showball +o cjive 
himself u^>. 


Bu+ X really wish X h*dh + +urhed arouhd +o 
look, because wheh X DID, some eicjh+h grader 
realized X wash + from Vlhirley S+ree+. 















































Xh<*+ was all i+ +ook. Ttase ^uys heeded someohe 
+o +ake +Ke BLAME for +Ke showball, ahd sihce X 
was ah OUTSIDER, i+ was a ho-braiher for +Kem. 



TKe bus driver said X heeded +o ^e+ off +Ke 
bus IMMEDIATELY. XW was fihe wi+K ME, 

because how +Ka+ my cover was blowh, X didh + 
ah' 

So X 30+ off +Ke bus, ahd Rowley was +wo s+e^>s 
beKihd me. 


lohcjer +Kah X HAD +0. 


wahha s+ick arouhd 



123 


















































X was ^>re++y sure we were ai>ou+ a mile from 
Surrey S+ree+. "TKe road we were oh didh'+ have 
sidewalks,, tu+ +Kere wereh + ahy Safe+y Pa+rols 
+his -far ou+, so we walked oh +he s+ree+. 



Pirs+, +Kose idio+s LIED abou+ me +hrowih<j +he 
showtall oh +he bus. "TReh +Hey BELIEVED +heir 
lie, ahd how +hey were MAD. 


Me ahd Rowley Had +o make a choice. Vie could 
ei+Her deal wi+H +He mob, or RUN. Vie decided 
+o ruh, <»hd +Ke ohly ^Idce +o was ih+o +Ke 

WOODS. 


12 H 











Believe me, +H<*+ was +He LAST -tHih^ X wah+ed 
+o do. ^Veryohe khows +He woods aloh^ +H<*+ road 
are wHere +He GOAT MAN lives, wHicH is wHy 
hotody ever ^oes ih +Here. 


Rodrick was +He firs+ ohe +o +ell me ai>ou+ +He 
Goa+ Mah, wHo He said was a H<*l f mah, Half ^oa+. 


X wash + sore if He meah+ +He +o^> Half was a 
GOAT ahd +He t)o++om ^>ar+ was a MAN; or if 
i+ was +He o+Her way aroohd. Bu+ ei+Her way,, +He 
Goa+ Mah seemed ^re++y scary +o ME. 



Me ahd Rowley H<*Ve ar^oed for YEARS over 
wHicH Versioh is ri<jH+. Rowley +Hihks +He Goa+ 
Mah is s^>li+ dowh +He MIDDLE. 


125 







X guess Rowley could be RIGHT; bu+ if you ask 
nt, X +bwhk Kis Versioh souhds kihd of STUPID. 



X+ s kihd of fuh +alkihg abou+ +R's s+uff wKeh 
weVe oh a slee^>oVer ahd safe ih our slee^ihg 
bags. Bu+ how +ha+ we were ih +bie woods where 
+he Goa+ Mah ac+ually LIVES; i+ was ho 
laughihg na++er. 


The VsIKirley S+ree+ kids mus+Ve khowh abou+ +he 
Goa+ tAah; +00; because wheh we weh+ ih+o +he 
woods; +hey didh+ follow us. X figured wed s+ay 
ih +here Jus+ lohg ehough for +he VlRirley S+ree+ 
kids +o LEAVE; because we didh + wah+ +o be ih 

+here ahy lohger +hah we HAD +o. 


126 
















Bu+ +hose mus+Ve khowh we were +oo 
chickeh +o s+<y ih +here -for loh^/ ahci we could 
see +Ker^ wai+ih^ for us oh +he road a+ +he ed^e 
of +he woods. 


So our oY\\y choice was +o cjo deeper ih, ahd 
+ha+s wha+ we did. 



vJHa+ was WEIRD was how QUIET i+ was ih 
+here. Af+er a while, X realized we couldhT hear 
+he cars oh +he road/ ahd +ha+s wheh X khew we 
weh+ ih TOO dee^>. 

Vie followed our foo+s+e^>s hack +o +he road/ hu+ 
+he suh was cjoih^ dowh, ahd i+ was ^e-H-ih^ hard 
+o fihd our +racks. 




























Vie picked u^> +he ^>ace ; because we didh*+ wahha ge+ 
s+uck ih +Ke woods ih +He DARK. Bu+ w|>eh we came 
across a se+ of +racks; we FROZE. 



A+ firs+ we +hough+ i+ was +he GOAT MAN. 
Bu+ +Keh we realized +Here were TWO se+s of 


foo+^rih+S; ahd +hey were OURS. Tv*+ meah+ 
we d s^>eh+ +he ^>as+ +eh mihu+es walking ih a 

giah+ CIRCLE. 


So we +urhed arouhd ahd Keaded *V +Ke OTHER 
direc+ioh. Bu+ +heh we rah ih+o a CREEK; ahd 
X khew we were los+. 



12 a 





















Rowley was PANICKED, 1)0+ X wash+. X khew 
+ha+ i-f you 2 e + los+ ih +he wilderness, as lohg as 
yoo have WATER, you re FINE. 

X saw a movie where +hese explorers 30+ +ra^ed 
ih +he mooh+aihs, bu+ +hey -foohcl a s^rih^ ahd i+ 
ke^)+ +hem alive. 

Bo+ +heh X remembered +ha+ wheh +hey 30+ 


DESPERATE, +hey had +0 ea+ +heir ^ack 
ahimals. X jos+ ho^ed +hi^s didh + reach +ha+ 
^>oih+ -for US. 



X -figured i-f we -followed +he creek, i+ mi<jh+ 

LEAD us somewhere, ahd a+ leas+ we wouldh^- ^e+ 
los+ a^aih. Bu+ wHeh we came across a leaver dam, 
Rowle’ 


s+ar+ed -freakou+. 












Rowley said beavers are DANGEROUS , ahd +h<*+ 
he saw a show oh TV where a beaver a++acked a 



Rowley s ah idio+. The show he was +aljcih^ 
abou+ was a CARTOON, ahd X was dc+ually 
WITH K im wheh he wa+ched i+. 



S+ill , X couldhT cohVihce Rowley +o s+ay hear +he 
creeks so we h<*d +o +urh aroohd AGAIN. A^d by 
how i+ was REALLY dark. Af+er walkih^ a few 
more mhu+eS; some+Rhcj bri<jh+ cau^h+ ry eye. X 
+hou^h+ niaybe i+ was +he headli^h+s from a car,, 
ahd we rah +oward •’+. 


130 








X+ +urhed ou+ +he ligh+ WAS comih^ -from a car, 
bu+ i+ wasJus+ a rus+ecj-oo+ ^>iece of juhk ih +Ke 
middle of +Ke woods. A^d wh<*+ cao<jh+ my eye was 
+he ref ec+ioh of +he MOON oh +Ke bumper. 



VJKeh my eyes adjus+ed +o +|\e licjlvL X realized 
+here were a LOT of abahdohed cars ahd +rucks 
all arouhd us. 



131 







































X saw some+Hihcj sR’hy srbh’hcj oh a s+um^> ahd X 
picked i+ u^>. XKe +hih^ was cold ahd me+al, ahd 
wKeh X held i+ +o my -face +o +ake a closer 
look, X khew EXACTLY wh<*+ i+ was. 

X+ was a BELT BUCKLE, ahd i+ teloh^ed +o 
MECKLEY MINGO. 



Th<*+ meah+ me ahd Rowley were smack ih +he 
middle o-f +he Mihgos CAMP. 

People ih my +owh have always VfoY\^trt^ where +he 
M'hcjos live, ahd how me ahd Rowley had s+umt>led 

ih+o +Keir HEADQUARTERS. 


132 














X +K003K+ we were LUCKY, because a+ leas+ 
+Kere was ho ohe THERE. Bu+ wKeh X +urhed +o 


LEAVE, some+bwh<j grabbed ny HAND. 



Ylell, +ecKhically, some+hih^ grabbed Mr. Morsels. 

X +hou<jh+ -for SURE i+ was Mecjcle^ Mihcjo ahd he 
was ^ohha KILL me -for +oucK»h^ his bel+ buckle. 


Thahkfully, X was WRONG. “The ^>u^e+ was 
shaded oh a +rucks door hahdle, so X +ried +o 
^>ull i+ -free. 



133 



























Th<*+s wheh we heard hoises comihcj -from INSIDE 
THE TRUCK. X realized X h<*d +o choose 
be+weeh savihcj MYSELF ahd savihg a PUPPET, 
ahd i+ was ho coh+es+. 



Me ahd Rowley +ore ou+ o-f +here. Bu+ wheh we 
were a ^ood dis+ahce away -from +he Mihcjos cam^>, 
we heard a souhd +h<*+ made my blood ruh cold. 



X didh + khow rf i+ was +he GOAT MAN or +he 

MINGO KIDS. 


134 

























All X khew for sure was +H<*+ if we s+o^ed 

RUNNING; we d be DEAD. 


X could hear sbiou+ih^ behind US; Ahd i+ was 
^ei+ihg CLOSER. Bu+ jus+ wKeh i+ fel+ like +Ke 
Voices were ri<jh+ oh TOP of US; we broke +hroucjH 
+Ke +rees ahd ih+o +he o^>eh. 


Luckily; Pad was ^ayihcj ATTENTION; or me 

ahd Rowley would Ve beeh ROADKILL. 



Bu+ a+ leas+ i+ would ve beeh over QUICK. Because 
if +Ke NINGOS cau^K+ uS; X m sure +hey would Ve 


+akeh +Keir TINE. 


135 















Frid, 


%- 


Vlheh X woke +his morhih^, X was +o+ally 
EXHAUSTED. My le^s -ft 1+ like rotter -from all 
+ha+ rohhih^ yes+erday, ahd X tarely 30+ ahy 
res+ tecaose X had a hi^h+mare +he Mihgos were 
chasihg 


me. 



X was gohha +ell Mom X cooldh + go +o school 
+oday, to+ wheh X looked ou+ +he wihdow, X 
realized X didh + HAVE +o. 



136 

































X+ showed a+ Ieas+ -five ihehes oVerhi^hT which 
meah+ school was CLOSED. So X was lookihg 
•forward +o a hice, relaxiha day o-f doiha atsolu+ely 

NOTMING. 7 X 


Mom ahd Pad were already ^ohe, ahd Mahhy was 
a+ daycare. Rodrick usually sleeps ^as+ 1*00 ^>.m. 
oh show days, so X more or less had +he whole 
house +0 MYSELF. 


X weh+ dowhs+airs +o make a bowl o-f cereal ahd 
+urh oh +he TV. Bu+ +here was some+hihg wroh^ 


wi+h +he REMOTE. 



X ho+iced i+ fel+ a li++le LIGHT; so X o^ehed 
u^> +he tack of +he remo+e +o see if +here was a 

missihg t>a++ery. 


137 
















X+ +orhs oo+ +kere wereh ’+ ANY ka++eries ihside ; 
l)o+ +here was a ho+e -from NON. 



°J©' 

£yt jkAji /urnuyf&j 







XjsoxSL ±hsb oUjtJ^jLxja^fwi. 



y didh + -feel lik 
DAY, so X looked aroohd +ke koose -for some 
ba++eries X coold ^>o+ ih +ke remo+e. Bo+ Mom 
mos+Ve KNOWN X d do +ka+, because +kere 

wash’+ a s^ore ba++er^ ANYWHERE. 


e doih^ ckores oh a SNOW 


X reall 



X coo!dh+ -figure oo+ kow Mom was ^ohha khow 
X loaded +ke diskwasker, sihce ske wash + eveh 
HONE. Bu+ wkeh X f>o+ ih +ke las+ ^)la+e ahd 
sko+ +ke door, X -foohd some+kihg. 


133 


















X+ was (»ho+Ker NOTE wi+K a BATTERY -h*^ed 

+o;+. 


CJ^je-O'n. d2<%o^Atcu/t^/ 
^^cbtA/txjtyrib X/Sr OjiX, a^susl 
n\SL/ 7 $s JlyoizXiUXu^. 



X didhT like where +his was headih<). The TV 
reno+e +<*kes FOUR t>A++eries, Ahd a+ +his rA+e X 

was ^ohhA burh +hrou<jh ny whole DAY doihg chores. 


Bu+ +heh X reAlized X didhT HAVE +o. The 
reno+e ih Mon Ahd PaTs hedroon is reAlly 
SKINNY, Ahd X was ^>re-Hy sure i+ ohly +ook 
ONE i)A++ery. 


13^ 

























Ahd it turhed out X was RIGHT. X khew X was 
cjohha h<*Ve to fihisK all the chores tefore Mon 
ahd Pad ^ot hone, tut X figured X h<*d ^>leMy 
of tine ahd X deserved to ehjoy nyself for a 
little while. So X nade nyself confortahle oh their 
ted ahd +t»rhed oh the TV. 


Ordiharily X ^et a little weirded out teihcj ih 
Mon ahd Pads ted; hut today X decided to nake 

ah exce^tioh. ESPECIALLY wheh X realized ohe 
of their tlahke+s was the ohe we ^ot fron Aoht 
Porothy for Christnas. 



Vlatchihg TV ih ted was AWESOME,, or at least 
for a WHILE. X was confortahle for the FIRST 
two hours, tut after that ny heck started 
hurtih^ fron lyihg ih that ^ositioh. 


Tfo 



































Xve already decided +h<*+ wheh X 
of my owh, X n gohha a++ach my TV +o +he 
CEILING so X cah look s+raigh+ UP a+ i+. Bu+ 
X ro gohha have someohe ihs+all +he TV who khows 
wh<*+ +heyVe DOING, because X doh*+ heed +o 
be +he hex+ Fla+ S+ahley. 




X mus+Ve dozed off for a while, because wheh +he 
^>hohe rahg i+ s+ar+led me. X+ was MOM, ahd 
X figured she was checkihg ih oh me +o see if X d 
-fihished my chores. 


Bu+ +he rt<xsoY\ she was callihg was +o +ell me she 
couldh + make i+ home ih +ime +o ^>ick u^> Mahhy a+ 
daycare, so she was gohha have Mrs. Prummo hd 
dro^> Mahhy off a+ +he HOUSE. 





















Tv*+ meah+ X h<*d +o BABYSIT, which was 

^ohha really ness u^> +he res+ of my day. 

Vlheh Mrs. Pru mmohd droned off Mahhy a half 
hour la+er, X didh + khow wh<*+ +o DO wi+h 
hirn. X ^>u+ Mahhy ih Mon ahd Pad s roon ahd 
+urhed oh sone ca r+oohs, hu+ he followed me hack 
dowhs+airs. So X ^uess Mahhy jus+ wah+ed +o he 
wi+h ME. 



X +ried +o renenher wh<*+ Rodrick used +o do 
wi+h me wheh X was li++le. Bu+ all X could +hihk 
of was +he +ime he cjaVe me lemoh juice ahd +old me 



l4z 
























Xheh X remembered a ^ame me ahd Rodrick used 
+o ^>lay +ha+ was ac+ually FUN. Vie ^>re+ehded 
+he -floor was LAVA, ahd we had +o s+ay OFF oF 



Me ahd Rodrick used +o ^>lay +ha+ <jame For 
HOURS. X Figured iF X 30+ Mahhy s+ar+ed, he 
could kee^> Ki^selF eh+er+aihed while X wra^ed u^> 
my chores. Bu+ wheh X +old Mahhy how +he ^ame 
WORKED, he +o+ally Freaked ou+. 



1H3 

































So how Mahhy wouldh + <jo alrywHere hear +Ke 
FLOOR. A^d +K<*+ made +Kih^s really ihcohVehieh+ 
•for me. 



Bu+ X s+ill K<*d +o do ny chores, or Xd t>e ih 
-trouble wheh Mon <*hd Pod 30+ hone. Ahd X U 
a BIG ohe ih -froh+ o-f me, wKicK was sKoVelihcj 
+Ke driveway 


X khew MahVy would K<*Ve a +o+al mel+dowh i-f X 
lef+ Kirn ihside wi+K all +Ka+ lava, so X 30+ Kirn 
dressed ih Kis show ^ear, wKicK wash'+ easy. 

























lay oh +he tack deck 
while X shoveled +he driveway ahd he d be safe 
because +he deck is closed ih. 




show ih +he driveway was we+ ahd heavy , ahd 
i+ was hard +o make ahy ^>ro^ress. Af+er a half 
hour, X decided +o +ake a break ahd soak my 
hahds ih some warm wa+er. 


VJhile X was ihside, X figured X d check ahd see 
how Mahhy was doihcj ou+ oh +he back deck. Bu+ 
Mahhy was GONE. He h<*d buil+ a li++le s+aircase 

ou+ of show +o escape. 






















































































XvahkFully, He didh'+ ^e+ FAR. Bu+ X realized X 
couldh + leave Hi^ ALONE ahymore. 



X +ook Mahhy +o +He Froh+ yard wi+H me. X+ 
was cje++ihcj la+e, ahd Pad ^e+s REALLY mad 
wHeh +He driveway's ho+ cleared wHeh He comes 
Home From work. 


So X sHoVeled as Fas+ as X could; ahd MahVv 
^>i+cHed ih +o Hel*p. 



146 












































Bu+ +Here was Jus+ +oo nucH show, ahd ho+ 
ehoucjh TIME. X was ready +o cjive u^> wKeh sone 
^irls -from a di*ffereh+ hei^htorhood walked ty ahd 
o-fTered +o clear our driveway -for +eh tucks. 


XKese kids looked YOUNG, ahd X didh + see Kow 
+hey could do ahy te++er +Kah me ahd Mahhy. Bu+ 
we could use all +he Hel^> we could ^e+, so X was 
willihcj +o cjive a CHANCE. 



X h<»d -five dollars ih +he drawer hex+ +o my feed, 
ahd X jo+ +he o+her -five -from +he t>i^ jar o-f 
chahje Mahhy has ih his room. Bo+ wha+ X didhX 
realize wheh X agreed +o +he deal wi+h +hose jir Is 
was +ha+ +hey hod a SNOWBLOWER. 































So +hey were dohe clearihej +He whole driveway 
ihSide of fiVe mihu+es. 



X fel+ like X was ^e-H-ihg ri^ed off, so X +old 
+hem X d pay +hem +hree tucks ihs+ead of +eh. 


Bu+ X ^uess +his wash + +he FIRST +ime someohe 
+ried +o s+iff +hem oh ^aymeh+. They moved all 
+he show BACK ih+o +he driveway ahd added +he 
show from +he froh+ lawh Jus+ +o make a ^>oih+. 















































By +he +ime my PARENTS go+ home, +hihgs 
were worse off +h<*h wheh X STARTED. 



After dihher^ Mom ahd Pad lec+ured me uh+il 
abou+ eigh+ o clock -for ho+ fhishihg my chores, 
A*d +h<*Vs wheh Rodrick ^o+ oo+ of bed +o 
s+ar+ his day. 





































































Sa+urday 

X usually slee^> IN oh weekehds, i>u+ +his morhih^ 
Mon h<*d OTHER ^>lahs -for me. 



She said X was ^oih^ +o s^>ehd +he whole day 
OUTSIDE. X +old her X d 30 ou+ ih +he 
show af+er X flayed some Video ^ames, tu+ she 
remihded me at>ou+ Screeh-Free Vieekehds, ahd X 
khew she wash + cjohha hud^e. 


VJheh X was youY\^tr, X could s^>ehd HOURS 

^>layih<j ih +he show. Bu+ howadays, af+er at>ou+ 
+eh mihu+es, X m ready +0 come ihside. 

Growh-u^s ac+ like t>eih^ ih +he show is +he mos+ 
•fuh you cah ever h<*Ve. Bu+ you heVer see THEN 
ou+ +here rollihg arouhd ih i+. 


ISO 











































X cah oh \y remember ohe +ime Pad flayed 
wi+K us ou+ ih +Ke show. Bu+ THAT ehded +Ke 
secohd Rodrick dunked show dowh +he back of 

Pad s NECK. 



Moms ALWAYS makihcj us kids <jo ou+side, 
because sKe says we heed our Vi+amih P, which you 
^e+ -from +he suh. X +ell Mom X ^e+ PLENTY 

of Vi+amih D from +he suh ih my Video cjames, bu+ 
+ha+ kihd of reasohihg heVer works oh her. 



151 




























VJHeh X weh+ ou+side +oday, Mahhy was 
already ih +he froh+ yard majcih^ showmeh, or 
WHATEVER you d call +hose +hihgs. 



Vie heVer -fihished rajcih^ +he lawh ih +he -fall, 
so Mahhy used +he leaves we didh + ^>icjc u ^ +o 
decora+e His show -frizes. 



152 


















































Mahhy had used u^> mos+ of +he show ih +he yard, 
so +here wash + a whole lo+ X could eVeh DO 
ou+side. X decided +o head u^> +o Rowleys, which 
meah+ X had +o ^>ass by FREGLEY S house. 

Ahd sure ehough, he was ou+ ih his froh+ yard. 



WANNA FINISH 
'BUILDING ' 1 ME?, 


Xhe reasoh X weh+ +o Rowley s was because his family 
jus+ 30+ hea+ed -floors. So oh cold days, X +ry +0 
s^ehd as much +ime a+ his house as POSSIBLE. 



153 















Bu+ Hon nus+Ve KNOWN X was cjohha +o 
Rowley's, because she called Kis ^>areh+s ahd he was 
ou+side wheh X 30+ +here. 



As loh^ as we bo+h h<*d +0 be ou+doors, X -figured 
we should nake +he nos+ of rh Sihce X d already 
dohe all +he hard work of ^e-H-ih^ u^> +he Kill > X 
+old Rowley we should ^e+ ih a li++le sleddihg. 

The ^>low usually cones +hrou^h by la+e norhihcj, 
so we cah ohly ^e+ ih a few ^ood ruhs before +he 
s+ree+ is cleared. Bu+ +he regular ^low ^uy was 
oh VACATION, ahd +he kids a+ +he +o^> of +he 
hill +old +he SUBSTITUTE driver +h<*+ Surrty 
S+ree+ was +wo niles dowh +he road. So +h<*+ 

bou<jh+ us sone ex+ra +ine. 


1 5i 














X doh + ac+ually +hihk i+ s a ^ood idea +o mess 
arouhd wi+K subs+i+u+es, because i+ ALWAYS comes 
back +o bi+e you. Las+ year we h<*d a loh<j-+erm 
sub ih Algebra, ahd oh Kis -firs+ day, me ahd 
my classma+es all swi+ched sea+s wi+h each o+her 
because we khew +he sub would be relyih^ oh +he 
sea+ihg char+. 



155 



























X ve 30++C* say, i+ was ^>re++y hilarious Kavih^ Kin 
call us by +Ke wrohg hames every day. Bu+ wKeh 
+Ke kid ^>re+ehdihg +0 i>e ME s+ar+ed ac+ihg like a 
+o+al JERK, i+ wash + so Fuhhy ahymore. 



A^d wKeh our REAL +eacKer 30+ i)ack, +he sut> 
^ave her a wri+e-u^ oh +he FAKE Grt$ H^FFey, 
which lahded ME ih de+eh+ioh For +wo weeks. 



156 

















Rowley ohly has ohe sled, bu+ +Kere s Jus+ ehou^h 
room oh i+ -for +wo ^>eo^le. Vie squeezed oh board 
ahd ^oih+ed i+ dowh +he hill, bu+ wi+h all +h<*+ 

ahy momeh+um. 


wei^h+, we couldhM- really ^e+ 



VlKeh we ^0+ close +0 +he bo++om of +he hill, we 
came +0 a dead s+o^>. Bu+ +h<*+ was probably a 
GOOD +hih^ because +he kids wKo wade i+ all +he 
way dowh 

kids w^eh +Key crossed ih+o +Kelr +erri+or 




157 



























XKihgs could've ^o++eh <x lo+ uglier, {>u+ +heh +he 
subs+i+u+e show^low driver -figured ou+ where Surrey 
S+ree+ was, ahd +h<*+ was +he ehd o-f THAT. 



By +heh X figured we had i>eeh ou+side loh^ ehou^K^ 
ahd we +ried +o <30 ihside. Bu+ Mom jv*d locked +he 
door, Ahd X could +ell she wash + messihg aroohd. 



153 

































Sihce we couldh + SLED ahymore, we heeded +o 
•figure ou+ sone+Kih^ ELSE +o do. So me ahd 
Rowley weh+ +o +Ke em^>+y lo+ a -few doors u^> -from 
my house +o decide wh<*+ +o do NEXT. 

X -figured as lohg as we h«*d +o te ou+side, we 
migh+ as well s+ay WARN. A+ school; we wa+ched 
a movie atou+ ^>eo^>le ih +Ke A^c+ic who toild 
IGLOOS +o survive ih +he cold wea+her, ahd X 

i+ a +ry. 


+hough+ mayte we could give 


Vie made some show tricks ahd s+acked +hem +he 
way +he ^>eo^le ih +he movie did. X+ was hard a+ 
fiirs+, tu+ +heh we s+ar+ed ge++ihg +he NANG ofi 
i+. The maih +hihg was ge++ihg +he sh<*f>e ofi +he 
dome jus+ righ+ so i+ didh + COLLAPSE. 



15*J 











Vie were really careful; ahd every+hih^ held 
+o^e+her. Bu+ wheh we ^>u+ ih +he las+ trick a+ 
+he +o^>; we realized we for^o+ +o tuild a DOOR. 



Rowley s+ar+ed hy^erveh+ila+ih^; ahd X khew if 
X didh + DO some+hihg; he was cjohha suck u^> 
all +he oxygeh ih +here. So X tus+ed +hrou^h +he 
+o^> ahd +ook a ti^ ^ul^> of fresh air. 



Some heicjhtorhood kids h<*d teeh wa+chihg us 
tuild our icjloo; ahd wi+h my head s+ickih<j X 
mus+ Ve looked like ah easy +ar^e+. 


160 













After +hose idio+s rah ou+ of sho wtal Is, +hey 
climted oh +o^> of +he i<jloo. Bu+ i+ wash + meah+ 
+o su^or+ ahy ex+ra wei<jh+> ahd wi+h»h a few 
secohds +he whole +hih^ came crashih^ dowh. 



Me ahd Rowley were lucky +o crawl ou+ of -there 
ALIVE. Ohce we gulled ourselves ou+ of our ruihed 
i^loo, X decided +h<*+ we d h<*d ehou^h fuh for ohe 
day. So we weh+ tack +o +he house, ahd +his -time 

Morn le+ us IN. 


161 









X +old Hon wHa+ Ha^ehed a+ +He en^>+y lo+, 
ahd How sHe heeded +o <jo oo+ +Here ahd yell a+ 
+Hose s+o^id kids -for os. 


° o c O 



Bo+ Hon said +Ha+ learhihcj +o decxl wi+H cohfic+* 
is ^>ar+ o-f growihg u^j ahd +Ha+ ne ahd Rowley 
were ^ohha Have +o deal wi+H +His oh oor OWN. 

X didh + like +He soohd of THAT. X +H003H+ +He 
wHole POINT of Ha Vihg ^>areh+s is +Ha+ you Ve 
<jo+ soneohe +o solve yoor ^>rot>lens FOR you. 


Pad was lis+ehihg fron +He o+Her roon, ahd He 
Had a TOTALLY differeh+ +ake. He said +Ha+ 
+He hei^HtorHood kids Had Jos+ declared WAR oh 
ne ahd Rowley, ahd if we didh+ fi<jH+ BACK, 
+Hey'd +Hihk i+ was OK +o a++ack os wHeheVer 

+Hey WANTED. 


162 


















Pad said +H<*+ wHeh ME was ^rowih^ u^>, His 

ih+o a BATTLEFIELD every 
+ime i+ showed. Kids Huil+ ^iah+ show For+s ahd 
H<*d e^>ic showtall Fi^H+s, ahd everyohe was ^>ar+ of 
a difFereh+ "clah.” 


hei^KtorKood +urhed 



Pad said eacH clah Had i+s owh FLAG, ahd wHeh 
you ca^>+ured somebody else's For+, you ^>lah+ed a 
Fla^ +o nark your +erri+ory. 


Vlell, Rowley +Hou<jH+ WE sHould Forn a clah, 
ahd He really liked +His FLAG idea. X +H003H+ 
i+ seened kihd oF DUMB, Hu+ as lohg as nakihg 
a Fla^ ^ave us ah excuse +0 He INDOORS For a 
wHile, X w<»s <*11 -for i+. 


163 





Vie -fouhd ah old pillowcase ih +He lauhdry room, 
Ahd 30+ some markers ou+ o-f +Ke Juhk drawer 

v 

wi+h a NAME -for our clah. 



ih +He ki+cKeh. Vie s+ar+ed 


? 


Rowley said Ke wah+ed us +o be f \\ u-fflepu-ff,” bu+ 
X said i-f we were ^ohha do +R’s, X wah+ed our 
hame +o be some+R’hcj ORIGINAL. 


Vie argued back Ahd -for+K -for a wKile abou+ our 
hame, Ahd X realized we werehT ^ohha a^ree oh 
ohe. So we +alked abou+ how our f)a^ should LOOK. 

Rowley WAh+ed our symbol +o be a WOLF, bu+ 

X WAh+ed some+bwV^ eVeh -fiercer +Kah THAT, so 
we d scare kids o-ff. X +Kou^K+ a bloody ba++le-axe 
would do +He +rick, bu+ o-f course Rowley didh + 
like +Ka+ id ea. So we compromised ahd pu+ +he +wo 

+R’h^s TOGETHER. 



164 










Bu+ wheh you c\cicl ah axe ahd a wolf, you jus+ ^e+ 
dead wolf, wHicK ish + ^ohha scare ANYONE. 


a 



Vie were 301V3 +0 s+ar+ over ahd make a hew 
f acj, bu+ wKeh X 30+ aho+Ker pillowcase, Horn 
+old us we heeded +0 <jo back ou+side. So we 30+ 
oh our show ^ear ahd weh+ +0 +he emp-|y lo+. 


Xta kids wKo wrecked our icjloo had moved oh +0 
o+Ker +hih<js, so me ahd Rowley Had +he emp+y 
lo+ all +0 ourselves. Vie used +he show from +he 
icjloo as a s+ar+ihcj poih+, ahd made a for+ +Ka+ 
could hold up +0 ah a++ack. 
































Af+er we were -fihisKeci, we ^lah+ed our fa^ oh 

+o^> of +he wall ahd WAITED. 



X -figured our for+ ni^K+ a++rac+ some a-tteh+ioh, 
bu+ X didh + realize Jus+ how MUCH. Vli+hih a 
few mihu+es we h<*d kids comihg a+ us from eVer^ 

DIRECTION. 



Vie were COMPLETELY ou+^uhhed, ahd wKeh 

+he kids rushed our for+, we h<*d +o ABANDON i+. 


166 













































VJHeh we ^ot tack to tHe House, we told Pad 
wH<*t Ha^ehed* But after we described our fort 
to Kirn, He said we did eVerytHihg all WRONG. 


He said we heeded to build our fort oh NIGH 
cjrouhd so we could drive back our ehemies. 



'THeh Pad lauhcHed ihto a bi^ History lessoh oh 
castle warfare ahd all tHe tHih^s tH<*t ^>eoyle did 
to defehd tHemselves back ih medieval times. 


167 













”TV>e s+u-f-f +Key did ih +Ke old days was +o+ally 

BRUTAL, *hd Kerens jus+ ohe example. VJheh 
ihVaders +ned +o clint) +Ke walls of a cas+le, +he 
^>eo 


^>le ihside would ^>our toilih^ OIL oh +hen. 



X Ko^>e i+ doesh + ^e+ +o +ha+ level ih our 
hei^Ktor^ood t>a++les. Bu+ +ohi<jh+, X <added ah 
i+em +o Mon s grocery lis+ jus+ ih case i+ DOES. 



S/wnnlnnilAl 



*■ (f 






PjZAA, 



vulk 

PjLaTlL. 



JijstcAju^ 

E)oJWu&& 



Sa&cuJ£ 

OIL 



f^CkHmx, 



168 



















Suhday 

X+ mus+Ve showed Aho+her seVeh ihcKes Us+ 
hi^K+ <> Ahd +he s+ree+ w as +o+a \\y COVERED 
wKeh X woke X couldh*+ eVeh see +He lihe 
be+weeh our YARD Ahd +he ROAD. 



X was kihd of surprised +he ^>low Udh'+ come ye+, 
tecAuse wKeh +Kere*s THIS much show, ^>eo^le 

X s * 

Bu+ wheh PAd cAme i)Ack from his morhih^ WAlk, 

X fouhd ou+ wh*+ was ^oihg oh. 


cAh'+ eVeh ^e+ +heir cArs ou+ of +heir driVewA 



161 







































Pad said +h<*+ wKeh +Ke ^>low +ried +o ^e+ u^> 


+Ke Kill; i+ 30+ STUCK. A^d wKeh +he show^low 
driver ^o+ ambushed by +he hei^HborHood Us, ke 
rah off ahd left +Ke +ruck srHih^ ih +he s+ree+. 



Bu+ sleddih 3 is for KIDS, ahd X Ud OTHER 
^>lahs ih mihd. 


X d beeh u^> all hi^K+ lookihg +Krou^K Pad s books 
+o learh every+bwh^ X could abou+ cas+le warfare 
ahd ba++le s+ra+e^ies. A^d by +Kc morhihcj, X 
was READY. 



170 

























X wah+ed +o cje+ s+ar+ed mak ihg a for+ wi+K 
Rowley ri^h+ away, ta+ X khew +ta+ +ta secohd 
we ^>u+ u^> WALLS , we were cjohha ta uhder 
ATTACK. Xta ohly way we could fi^h+ tack was 
if we tad AMMUNITION. 


d k'3 

showtalls from Mi+ctall Picke++, so we weh+ dowh +0 
his stad, which was o^>eh for tasihess. Bu+ X ^uess 
+hih0S mus+Ve ^ohe well for Mi+chell las+ wih+er, 
tacause THIS year ta EXPANDED his o^era+iohs. 



X figured we could tay 



X d borrowed ehoucjh mohey from Mahhy s chahge 
jar +0 ^>ay for +hree dozeh showtalls, ta+ how 

+ta+ X saw all +his OTHER s+uff, X tad +0 

make some +ough choices. 


171 







































The Sloffy Specials looked like regular showballs 
+o me, so X asked Mi+chell why +hey were five 
iimes more exfehsive. \\t said +h<*+ each ohe was a 
regular showball wi+h SLUSH oh +he ihside, ahd 
doh + eVeh ask me how he fulled THAT off. 



Vie ehded uf 

ohe showball lauhcher, which X figured we could use 
if we heeded +o hail somebody from 

B>u+ X wish X d brough+ +he whole jar of chahge, 
because Mi+chell was sellihg a show ca+aful+ +ha+ 
looked like i+ could REALLY do some damage. 

X d have +o ge+ +ha+ aho+her +ime, +hough. Vsle 
loaded uf my sled wi+h our f urchases ahd weh+ 
back +o +he emp+y lo+. 


lohg dis+ahce. 


buyihg +wo dozeh f remade showballs ahd 


172 







Bu+ wheh we 30+ closer, we were SHOCKED iy 
wK<»+ we sow. IWe were a BUNCH o*f show -for+s 
ih +Ke em^>+^ lo+ how, ahd +Kere were kids ihside 
each ohe. 



^These kids copied our idea, ricjh+ dowh +o +he 
FLAGS. 'The Marlee sis+ers h<*d a s^>ear oh +heir 
•flacj, ahd H-Velyh 'Thimble h<*d a ba+ oh hers. 'The 
Garza +wihs h<*d a +wo-headed ooft, which ac+ually 
looked ^>re-Hy cool. 



173 































There were some really LAME fla^s, +oo. Marcos 
Ma rcohi’s dad owhed +he sol) shoy ih +he ceh+er of 
+owh +ha+ weh+ oo+ of bosihess, ahd Marcos osed +he 
f a^ +ha+ osed +o h<*h^ ih froh+ of +he res+aorah+. 



X wah+ed +o ^e+ closer +o see who ELSE made 
a for+, l>o+ wheh we 30+ hear +he em^>+y lo+, 
^rhes+o, Gabriel, ahd a bohch of OTHER kids 
o^ehed FIRE oh os. 



174 

































1W em^-ty lo+ was +o-h»lly overcrowded , ahd X 
khew +Kere was ho WAY we could build a show for+ 
oh +Ke lo+ how. So our ohly ctahce was +o +ake 
over someohe ELSE'S. 


X 30+ some old bihocuUrs from my cy*rA<je so we 
could sco^e +Kih^s ou+ wi+Kou+ biAVihcj +0 ^e+ +00 

CLOSE . 


XK’hcjs K^d ^o++eh a lo+ CRAZIER ih +he 

five mihu+es we were cjohe, +Hou<jh* CA^riel Ahd 
&rY\zs-to were ih a 1>A++Ie wi+K +he HArlee sis+ers, 
Ahd a buhcK of KomescKooled kids were cjoihcj a+ 
i+ wi+K +Ke G<xrz<x +wihs. 



175 










Emilia Greehwall ahd 'Xvelyh Trimble had +eamed 
u^> +o fi^h+ A^+hohy Pehard ahd Sheldoh 
Reyes, ahd S^>eed Bum^> ahd La+ricia Hooks were 
s+rai^h+“0^> cjoihcj a+ i+ wi+h +heir FISTS. 



Bu+ T wash+ focused oh all +ha+. X was searchihcj 


for a for+ +ha+ looked VULNERABLE, ahd X 
FOUND ohe. Xhte duplex kids had buil+ a ^re++y 
solid-lookih^ for+, bu+ as usual i+ looked like +hey 
wereh + ^e++ih^ aloh^. 



176 



























X ‘figured +Hey'd wear +Hemselves ou+ fi^H+ihg, 
ahd wHeh +Hey DID, me ahd Rowley could 
POUNCE. So we moved ih a li++le closer ahd 
wai+ed -for +He ri<jH+ momeh+. 



TH<*+ s wKeh X ho+iced a for+ +Ha+ didh + Have 
ahyohe IN i+. *THe for+ was 

of a bicj mouhd of show. X remembered wH<*+ 
Pad said abou+ +He HIGH cjrouhd> ahd +His for+ 
was ih +He PERFECT s^>o+. 





177 


































X couldh + -figure ou+ why soneohe would tuild a 
for+ Ahd ABANDON i+ , tu+ X khew +his was our 
tig ch^hce. So we shuck arouhcj i+ Ahd dinted over 
+he Wk waII. 


X+ +urhed ou+ +he for+ WASNT en^>+y, 
+hough* X+ telohged +o BABY GIBSON, who 

was ihside wi+h a s+ock^ile of showl>Alls. 




173 





































1W HomescHooled jcids mus+Ve khowh atou+ +He 
K^K-^rouhd +Hih<j, +oo, ahd how +Hey wah+ed 
+He for+ -for THEMSELVES. Bu+ wHeh +Hey 
came cHar^ih^ u^> +He mouhd, we drove +Hem tack. 
eVeh Baty Gitsoh 



<jo+ ih oh +Ke ac+. 



THeh kids s+ar+ed comih^ -for us -from every 
direc+ioh, ahd i+ was ^e++ihg Harder ahd Harder 
+o defehd +He for+. 


THe duplex kids s^li+ ih+o +wo ^rou^s, ahd +He^ 
came a+ us from +He left AND +He ricjH+, wHile 
&rY\zs-to ahd Gatriel s+ar+ed usih^ showtall 
+Hrowers +o shi^>e a+ us from THEIR for+. 


















And wKile we were +ryihq +o deal wi+h all THAT, 

ou ^ 

+uhheled u^> +Krou^K +Ke t>o++om of our for+ ahd 

TOTALLY +ook us offguard. 


some li++le kid from Mrs. Jimehez s 



TKe hex+ +hih0 we khew, our for+ was +o+ally 

ihfes+ed wi+K PRESCHOOLERS. A^d +o ca^> i+ 

all off, +he Marlee sis+ers did a sheak a++ack from 
+Ke rear, wKicK was because +hose cjirls 

30 for +Ke EYES. 



130 





























Me ahd Rowley ^o+ driveh ou+ of +Ke for+ ahd 
oh+o +Ke o^eh ta-bHefield, where i+ was jus+ +o+al 
MAYHEM. ^Veryohe was ficjh+ihg every ohe ELSE,, 
ahd ahy sehse of order was jus+ GONE. 



Theh some+hihcj ha^ehed +h<*+ made eVeryohe 
STOP. Joe ORourJce <jo+ hi+ ih +he mou+h wi+h 
ah ice tall ahd los+ a couple of TEETH. 



131 







Xh our hei^HborHood, ice tails are oh +He "bahhed” 
lis+ ih showball fi^H+s. So wHeh somebody crossed 
+H<*+ lihe, everybody khew +Hih^s H<*d ^ohe +oo -far. 


Re^reseh+a+iVes -from all +He clahs H<*d a mee+ihg 
ih +He ceh+er of +He em^+y lo+ +o se++le oh +He 

RULES . 



^Ntrjo>r\t agreed +H<*+ ice balls were off-limi+s, 
ahd so was yellow show. Vie came u^> wi+H a buhcH of 
OTHER rules, +00; like How i+s ho+ OK+o s+uff 
Show ih someohe s H<*+ ahd +Heh ^>u+ i+ back oh 
+Heir Head. 

Ohce we agreed oh eVery+Hih^; we were ready for 
+He hex+ rouhd of ba++le. 


132 









Bu+ while we were doih^ all +ha+ TALKING, we 
didhT ho+ice wha+ was ha^ehih^ righ+ BEHIND os. 


The Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids had shock u^> +o 
+he +o^> of +he hill wi+h +heir sleds, ahd hy +heh, 
+here was ho+hihg we could do +o STOP +hem. 



How, if +here's ONE +hih^ +ha+ ohi+es os hill 
kids, i+s wheh +he kids -from +he BOTTOM of 
+he hill +ry +o +ake wha+'s OURS. Vvle doh'+ have 
much, to+ we have +he HILL, ahd ho ohes ^ohha 
+ake +ha+ from os. 

As lohg as +he ^>low was s+ock, we khew +hose 
cjuys were Jus+ ^ohha kee^> COMING. 


133 





So we decided +o DO some+Lih<j abou+ i+. 


TLe ohly way +o kee^> +Le Lower Surrey S+ree+ 
kids from comihcj back u^> +Le Kill was +o toild a 
WALL +o block +Leir ^>a+L. A^d we didh*+ wahha 
build some ^>uhy W( *ll +Ley could Jus+ ^>usL over, 
ei+Ker. Vie wah+ed some+Kih^ +La+ was SOLID. 


Bu+ we heeded +o make i+ FAST, because +Kose 

s were already marc 
+Leir sleds. So we cjo+ recycling bihs -from some 
hearby Louses and s+ar+ed BUILDING. 



Lihg back u^> +Le Kill wi+H 



Vie made i+ a DOUBLE wall, so if ahyohe broke 
+LrougL +Le firs+ layer, +Ley'd s+ill L<*Ve +o deal 
wi+L +Le SECOND ohe. A^d we s+ock^iled a 
TON of showballs. 


18 i 











Vie wereh + ^ohha be able +o ^e+ toilihg oil, so X 
seh+ Rowley u^> +o Kis house +o fill some +hermoses 
wi+h ho+ chocola+e. 


^The homeschooled jcicis weh+ ou+ ahd collec+ed icicles 
+o s+ick ih+o +Ke wall ^ ahd +he duplex kids +hrew 
+o^e+her some showmeh +o make i+ seem like +here 
were more of us +hah +Kere ac+ually WERE. 


A^d when +Ke Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids came 
BACK, we were READY for +Hen. 



VlKeh +Kose ^uys saw our WALL, +hey didh + 
khow wKa+ +o DO. 


135 









































TKose cjuys didh + s+ahd <x CHANCE. Vie 

seh+ +Kem ruhhih^ tack dowh +Ke Kill/ <*hd we 
celetra+ed our vic+ory. 



Bu+ we celetra+ed +oo SOON. "Teh mihu+es U+er, 

+Ke Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids were BACK. 


136 






























A*d +K.s +ime +Key were armed +o +he TEETH. 



Mos+ of +hem were wearing s^>or+s ^ear +0 ^>ro+ec+ 
+Kemselves from our showt>alls. A^d +Ke momeh+ 

X khew +Kis wash*+ ^ohha be ah easy fi^hi was 


wkeh ohe of +Ken +krew a HOCKEY STICK. 



Bu+ s+ill WE were +he ohes wi+K +he WALL; ahd 
we h<*d +Ke Ki^Ker ^rouhd. 


137 






So we unleashed ano+her rouhd of snowballs. 



Vie held +hem off for a while> bu+ +hose «juys 
had some surprises u^> +heir sleeves. "They hi+ us 
wi+h a round o-f Slo^y Specials, which we were 
TOTALLY un^re^ared for. 



T/ +he Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids had Slo 
Specials j +ha+ mean+ Yi+chell ?icke-H was 



bo+h SIDES. 


133 






Bu+ we d have +o deal wi+h hir'i LATER, because 
how we had a NEW problem. 


were Jus+ a 

dis+rac+ioh +o draw our a++eh+ioh away -from +he 
NEXT wave o-f a-H-ack, which was comihg a+ us 



FAST. 



Vie hi+ +he kids carryih^ ladders wi+h showballs, 
bu+ he-fore we khew i+, +hey d ^lah+ed +heir 
ladders a+ +he base of +he wall ahd had s+ar+ed 
+heir way UP i+. 



Bu+ Rowley came back wi+h +he ho+ chocola+e Jus+ 
ih +he hick of +ime. 









Vie en^+ied +He +Kermoses ou+ oh +Ke kids scalihg 
+Ke wall. Uhfor+uha+ely, Rowley hadh*+ added ah> 
WATER +o +Ke Ko+ chocola+e mix, so all i+ did 
was ANNOY +W. 



X +hough+ +Kose guys were ai>ou+ +o +ake coh+rol 
of +he wall, bu+ +Keh La+ricia Hooks ahd S^eed 
Bum^ saved +Ke day i>y dun^ihg +rasK cahs full of 
SLUSH oh +Kem. 











Vie didh + Have a secohd +o celebra+e, +Kou^K ; 
because +Ke Lower Surrey $+ree+ kids were alread' 
lauhcbwhg +Keir hex+ a++ack. 

Half +Ke fif+L-^rade foo+ball +eam lives a+ +he 
bo++om of +Ke Kill ^ ahd +Hey +ried +o +ake dowh 
+Le wall wi+h bru+e FORCE. 



Bu+ +He wall Keld UP, ahd +Kose ^uys wore 
+hemselves ou+ wi+K +he effor+. 


By how, EVERYONE was +ired. TKe suh was 
ou+, ahd i+ was ac+ually s+ar+ihcj +o <je+ WARN. 

X really wished X Kadh*+ worh my +hermal 
uhderwear, because X was ROASTING wi+H +Hose 

ex+ra layers. 


1 % 









'The Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids ke^>+ conih^ a+ us, 
ahd we ke^>+ driving +hem BACK. Ahd a-f+er a 
while, NOBODY had +he ehercjy +o kee^> -fi^h+ihcj. 

Finally, +he o+her +eam +urhed around ahd weh+ 
tack home. A+ *firs+ we +hou^h+ +h<*+ meah+ we 
had WON. Bu+ +hose ^uys wereh*+ giving u^>. 

'They were jus+ REFUELING. 

By how 1+ was luhch+ime, ahd +he kids a+ 

+he to++om of +he hill came tack ou+side wi+h 
sandwiches ahd shacks. 


A^d when some kid s+ar+ed hahdihg ou+ JUICE 
BOXES, i+ was a li++le hard +o wa+ch. 



1<?2 




Vie were all ^>re-Hy +Kirs-ty oh +He wall, ahd i+ was 

ohly ^e++ih<j HOTTER. 


Some jcicis s+ar+ed suckih^ oh SNOWBALLS +o 
s+ay |ydra+ed, ahd +Key 30+ +hrou^H Half of 
our s+ock^>ile before +He res+ of us realized wH<*+ 
was Ha^ehih^. 



Vie did ah ihVeh+ory of wH<*+ we Had lef+^ ahd we 
khew we didh + KaVe ehoucjH +0 fi^H+ off a major 
assaul+. So we s^>li+ our remaihihcj showtalls ih+o 

+Hirds ahd ^>u+ A^+Hohy Pehard ih cHarge of 
^ro+ec+ih^ +Hem. 

Vie ke^+ wai+ih^ for +He hex+ a++ack from +He 
Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids, bu+ i+ hever came. 





















Af+er a while we realized +heir s+ra+e^y was +o 
wai+ us ou+ uh+il we CRACKED; ahd +heh +ake 
our wall wi+hou+ a ficjh+. 

Pervis Geh+ry was +he *firs+ ohe oh our side +o 
break. He hadhT eveh had BREAKFAST +his 
morhihcj; so +he si^h+ of all +hose sahdwich crus+s 
lyih 3 oh +he cjrouhd n^ade hirn CRAZY. 


He clinked over +he wall ahd rah dowh +he hill ^ 
ahd +ha+ was +he las+ ahy of us saw of hirn. 



Bu+ +he REST of us hill kids ke^+ i+ +o^e+her. 
Three HOURS weh+ by, bu+ +he Lower Surrey 
S+ree+ kids wereh + BUDGING. 
















Xh Aa c+, +hey looked like +hey were se++lih0 ih Aor 
+he NIGHT. 


A Aew oA +hen h<*d s+ruhg ex+ehsioh cords +o 
+heir houses, so how +hey h<*d ELECTRICITY. 
A^d we could see +he ^low oA +heir TV se+s Aron 
where WE were. 



Thihgs were <^oih0 Aron tad +o worse oh +he wall. 

A lo+ oA +he y 
Ahd WAh+ed +o cjo HOME. A^d X couldh + i)Lne 
+hen, tacAuse t>y how, i+ was DINNERTIME. 


ouY\$tr kids were +ired Ahd huh^ry 


JacoI) HoAA SAid he was su^osed +o have a 
clArihe+ lessoh a+ six o'clock, Ahd iA he nissed i+ his 
^>Areh+s would ta nAd. A^d +he res+ oA us could 
uhders+Ahd +h<*+ kihd oA +hihg. 











Jacob s house was Jus+ a few doors dowh, ahd we 
+old him if he made a ruh for i+, we'd 31’Ve him 
COVER. He promised +h<*+ +he secohd his clarihe+ 
lessoh was over, he d come back +0 +he wall wi+h 
his coa+ ^>ocke+s s+uffed wi+h ^rahola bars ahd 
frui+ chews. 



Th<*+ 30+ everybody ^>re++y exci+ed, ahd we helped 
Jacob over +he wall. Sure ehough; as sooh as he 
+ouched dowh oh +he o+her side, +he Lower Surrty 
S+ree+ kids o^ehed fire oh him. Bu+ we fired 


BACK ahd <50+ Jacob +0 his froh+ door safel 


X+ +urhed ou+ i+ was a was+ed effor+, +houcjh* 
"The +hihg abou+ +he clarihe+ lessoh was Jus+ ah 
excuse +0 <jo home, ahd wheh we saw Jacob ih his 
bedroom wihdow, we khew he was heVer comihcj 

back wi+h +hose SNACKS. 


1 % 
















After +W, +Ke mood ihside +He wall was really 
GRIM. Some kids were cryih^j ahd X didh*+ see 
How we could Hold ou+ mucH lohger. 

XHe Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids mus+Ve khowh 
+Hey Kad us oh +He ro^es, because +H<*+s wHeh 
+Hey lauhcHed ^>a^er air^lahes ih+o our for+ wi+H 
NOTES wri++eh oh +Hem. 


SURRENDER NOW 
YOU CAN 



1T7 

































TK<*+ was +oo mucH -for some kids +o +ake. ^.Veh 
Baiy Gibsoh seemed sHakeh u^>, so X ^uess how we 
khow Ke cah READ. 



A few mihu+es la+er, a kid came ruhhihg +oward 
us from t>e+weeh a couple of houses +o +He ri^h+ 
of our for+, ahd we <jo+ ready +o ^>el+ Kim wi+K a 
rouhd of showballs. 


Bu+ somebody RECOGNIZED +He kid ^ ahd we 
Reid our fire. X+ was TREVOR NIX, wKo used 
+o live oh +Ke Rill. 



1 % 










































Trevor was ou+ of brea+h, ahd could barely ^e+ his 
words ou+. So we gulled hi™ u^> oh+o +he wall ahd 
wai+ed for him +o calm dowh. 

Af+er Trevor 30+ himself +o^e+her ; he +old us 
wha+ was ^oihcj oh. He said +he Lower Surrey 
S+ree+ kids had beeh holdih^ him CAPTIVE, W 
he maha^ed +0 ESCAPE. 

TreVor said +hose ^uys were ^lahhih^ some+hih^ 
really BAD,, ahd he wah+ed +0 +ell us before i+ 
was +00 LATE. 



He said +he Lower Surrty S+ree+ kids were crea+ihg 
a HUGE s+ock^>ile of showballs, ahd wheh i+ <jo+ 
dark +hey were ^ohha lauhch a full-scale a++ack. 
Bu+ +ha+ washT eVeh +he WORST ^>dtr+. 










Those ^uys were makih^ +heir showballs ih +he 
GUZMANS' yard, ahd +h<*+s +he ^>lace wi+h all 
+he DOGS. So +ha+ meah+ +hey were usih<j 
YELLOW SNOW ahd who khows wh*+ ELSE. 


^Veryohe was ^>re++y mad ahou+ wh<*+ +he Lower 
Surrey S+ree+ kids were ^lahhihg, hu+ we were ^lad 
TreVor ^aVe us +he heads-u^>. Vie +old hir^ +ha+ 
•from how oh, he could sled oh our hill ANY +ime. 



Vie agreed we cooldhT jus+ si+ +here ahd wai+ for 
+he a++ack, so we s+ar+ed workihg oh a PLAN. 

Half of us would sheak dowh +he hill ahd lauhch a 
SURPRISE a++ack oh +he kids makihcj showhalls 
ih +he Guzmahs yard. "The OTHER half would 
s+ay hack +o ^>ro+ec+ +he for+. Vie ske+ched +he 
^>lah ih+o +he show wi+h a s+ick +o make sure we 

were all oh +he same ^a^e. 


200 









O' 


□ 

□ 

I—L 


□ 

□ 

ATTACK D 


□ 

TEAM .... 

\y n . 


□ 

: a 

t ■ i ■ * * 

WAUL 

dO 

: □ 


□ 

: □ 

: □ 

* * * 

. ■ ■ » 

■ * * * 

□ □ 



□ 

i^X 
GUZMANS n 
YARD U 




Me ahd Rowley wah+ed +o be a ^>ar+ o-f +he 
ACTION; so we chose +o be oh +he sheak a++ack 
+eam. Our ^rou^> loaded u^> a -few sleds wi+h all +he 
showballs we had lef+; ahd we sliced over +he 
back wall ahd be+weeh some houses. 



201 





















X+ was cje++ih<j dark how, so we khew +Kose ^u^s 
wouldh + be Able +o see us comih^. 


VJKeh we 30+ +o +Ke GuzmAhs* bAck^Ard, we s+o^ed 
+o sco^>e ou+ +Ke scehe. Sure ehou^h, +here was 
a bicj ^rou^ of kids mAkihg showt>Alls ou+ froh+ 
beKihd a rock waII. 



VJKeh B^by Gibsoh ^AVe +he si^hAl, we Uuhched 
our A++Ack. 



202 










Bu+ +He o+Ker ^uys didhT eVeh FLINCH wKeh we 
hi+ +Hem. A^d as we 30+ closer, we realized i+ was 
all jus+ a TRICK. 



TKe Lower Surrey S+ree+ kids H<*d crea+ed 
DECOYS +0 s^>li+ us u^>, which meah+ wed teeh 
doutle-crossed by TREVOR NIX. Vie rushed 


tack +0 +he wall, tu+ by +heh i+ was already +00 

LATE. 



203 















Tta wall was ih RUINS, ahd we were ou+ of 
anno. X+ looked really tad for us Kill kids, tu+ 

+Keh sone+Kih^ Ka^ehed +K<*+ ^aVe uS HOPE. 


A ^rou^ of kids was narcKihg uy +Ke Kill +oward 
us, ahd wKeh +Key 30+ closer X realized i+ was 
+Ke SAFETY PATROLS. For a brief secohd, X 

ey were 



+Kere +o SAVE us. 



Du+ -they werehV there to hel^> ANYONE. They 
were there for REVENGE. 


Usually, the Safe-ty Patrols areh't allowed to 
throw show tails, tut today was a SUNDAY. Ahd 
that meant they were free to do whatever they 

WANTED. 


20 ^ 



\\<x \f +Ke ^irls oh +Ke Safe+y Pa+rols are oh +Ke 
SOFTBALL +eam, ahd ahytody wKo says ^irls 
cah + +Krow Kard doesh + khow wKa+ +Key re 
TALKING at>ou+. 



TKe ba++le +urhed ih+o +Ke Surrey S+ree+ kids 
Versus +Ke Safe+y Pa+rols, ahd we ou+humt>ered +Kem 
+wo +o ohe. Bu+ +Keh Kalf +Ke ^irls oh our s+ree+ 
swi+cKed SIDES, ahd i+ 30+ really coft-fusift^. 

Xh +Ke middle of all +Kis, ANOTHER <jrou^> 
came dowh from +Ke TOP of +Ke Kill. X+ was +Ke 
WHlRLEY STREET kids, wKo mus+Ve cjo++eh 
kicked off +Ke ^olf course, ahd came +o sled oh our 
s+ree+. A^d ohce THEY <jo+ ih+o +Ke mix, i+ was 
jus+ <* +o+dl FREE-FOR-ALL. 


205 



















































Jus+ wheh +hih^s couldh + ^e+ <xY\y CRAZIER, 

<x -ferri-fyiY\g souhd cu+ +hrou^h +he air, ahd 
eVeryohe s+o^ed +o -figure ou+ wh<*+ i+ WAS. “The 
only ohes oh +he s+ree+ who khew -for SURE were 
me ahd Rowley. 


fSlMOOOQOoOOOOOOo 



"Theh +he MINGO kids s+ar+ed ^ourih^ ou+ of 
+he woods, lookihg like +hey d Jus+ wokeh uy from a 
+hree-mo h+K NAP. 










TKe Ias+ Mihcjo +o emerge was MECKLEY. He 
was carryih^ some+Kih^ oh +o^> of a STICK, ahd a+ 
•firs+ X couldh + +ell wh<*+ i+ was. Bo+ wheh he ^o+ 

CLOSER, X realized i+ was MR. MORSELS. 



Meckley wash + wearihcj Ris BELT, which X +hou<jh+ 
was s+rah^e. Bo+ seeih^ +ha+ made me remember 
some+hih<j, ahd X reached ih+o my coa+ ^>ocke+ ahd 
gulled ou+ some+hihcj cold ahd me+al. 



10°l 
















VJKeh me ahd Rowley were ih +he Mih^os' cam^, 

X mus+Ve ^>u+ +Ke t>el+ buckle ih my ^ocJce+ 

wi+Kou+ eveh realizing i+. A^d how x was ih 

a ^>ahic, because +Ha+ meah+ Meckley Mih^o was 
comihcj -for ME. 


Bu+ +Ke ohly +Kih<j kids ih my +owh K<*+e more +hah 

eacK OTHER is +U MINGOS. So wKeh +Ke 
Mihcjos charged, t^tryoY\t +urhed +0 FACE +hem. 



Vlell, eVeryohe exce^>+ ME. A+ +H<*+ ^>oih+ X d 
U ENOUGH. 


VJKeh +He Mihgos came a+ us, X looked For a good 
^>lace +0 HIDE. 


210 












XKere was a bicj hole ih a collapsed sec+ioh of +he 
wal^ so X dove ihside, ahd Rowley was ri^h+ t>ehihd 
me. *1hie t>a++le ra^ed all arouhd os, ahd X didh + 
see how we were <johha ^e+ ou+ of +his ohe ALIVE. 



Rowley didh + +hihk we were cjohha make i+; 
ei+her. He +old ne +ha+ i-f X Survived bu+ he 
DIDN'T, X could have all of his Video ^ames. 


X ^>a++ed myself dowh +o see if X h<*d a ^eh so he 
could ^>u+ +ha+ ih WRITING; bu+ all X h<*d oh me 

was +W s+o^id t>el+ buckle. 


211 





Xt didhT natter ahyway, because -five secohds later 
the ^rouhd started shakih^, ahd it felt like we 
were ih ah EARTHQUAKE. 



X thought we were cjohha be tuned ALIVE , ahd 
all X could thihk of is how the two of us were 
cjohha ehd u^> ih a MUSEUM after they ducj us 
out ih a couple thousahd years. 




212 













Bu+ +Heh +Ke ^rouhd s+o^ed shakih^, Ahd After 
a few secohds we ^>o^ed our Keads out of our 
hidih^ s^>ot +o see what was Ka^ehihg. 


The show^low was three-cjuArters of the WAy u^> 
the street, mowihg through eVerythihg ih its ^Ath* 
A^d X doh + khow if the show^low driver couldh t 
SEE the kids ih the roAd or Just didh t CARE. 



By how, the show was meltihg, Ahd eVerythih^ 
was turhihcj +o SLUSH. A^d ohce the ^>low left 
our street, it was QUIET. 
















TKe crazy is, how +Ka+ +Ke s+ree+ was 

flowed; +Kere wash + really ahy+twhg le*f+ +o FIGHT 
over, ahd zVzryoY\z picked +Hemselves ahd weh+ 
tack HOME. H,Veh +Ke Mihcjo kids weh+ tack +o 
where +hey came -from. 



A^d +he +ru+h is, X couldhT really rememter wh<*+ 
we were all -figh+ihg over +o BEGIN wi+h* 


2ii 


















Fridc 


% 


Vie Ve i>eeh back a+ school for a week; ahd i+s 
warned u^> a LOT ih +he ^>as+ few days. X doh + 
wah+ +o curse i+ or ahy+Kihcj, bu+ X +hihk we 
ni^h+Ve seeh +He las+ of +Ke cold wea+her. 


So XV> ho+ really worried abou+ +Ke PIG ahynore. 
Xh fac+; Ke s probably sonewhere warn by how, 
havih^ +Ke +ine of Kis life. 



XKere's s+ill some show oh +he cjrouhd ih ny 
hei^Hborhood, so Mi+chell Picke++s beeh ^joyih^g 
+Ke shownobile he bou<jh+ wi+h all +he nohey he 
nade +his wih+er. 


215 






So airybocj^ wKo says +K<*+ war doesh + PAY should 
+hihk AGAIN. 



Mi+cKell s ho+ +Ke ONLY ohe wKo made ou+, 

Kockey down 
a+ +Ke t>o++om of +Ke Kill wi+K +Ke Lower Surrey 
S+ree+ kids every day af+er school. So X ^uess 
+Ka+s wK<*+ you ^e+ for Keihcj a TRAITOR. 




216 




























X m ho+ cjohhdi com^ldiih. X ro jus+ ^Ld X 
mc*de i+ +Krou^h +he wih+er wi+hou+ ^e++ih^ myself 

KILLED. 


'The +hihg X leoirhed <*{>ou+ myself is +h<*+ X ^ 
jus+ ho+ +Ke HERO +y^>e. Xrus+ me, X ri cjldid 

+here ^re ^eo^le like +h<*+ ou+ +here, i>u+ +he 
world heeds cjuys like ME, +oo. 


Because if humoih keih^s dire s+ill <*rouhd 500 

millioh yedirs from how, i+s <johhdi be +h<*hks +o 
+he Gre^ Heffleys of +he world who figured ou+ di 

wdiy +o SURVIVE. 



ao 


217 






















ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 


Thanks to everyone at Abrams, especially Charlie Kochman, who 
makes every book better. Big thanks to Michael Jacobs, Andrew 
Smith, Chad W. Beckerman, Liz Fithian, Hallie Patterson, Steve 
Tager, Melanie Chang, Mary O’Mara, Alison Gervais, and Elisa 
Garcia. Thanks also to Susan Van Metre and Steve Roman. 

Thanks to the great Wimpy Kid team: Shaelyn Germain, Anna 
Cesary, and Vanessa Jedrej. Thanks to Deb Sundin and the staff at 
An Unlikely Story. 

Thanks to Rich Carr and Andrea Lucey for your support and 
friendship. Thanks to Paul Sennott for all your help. Thanks to Sylvie 
Rabineau and Keith Fleer for everything you do for me. 

Thanks to Jess Brallier for your mentorship and for getting me 
started as an author. 


ABOUT THE AUTHOR 

Jeff Kinney is a # l New York Times bestselling author and a six¬ 
time Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Award winner for Favorite Book. 
Jeff has been named one of Time magazine’s lOO Most Influential 
People in the World. He is also the creator of Poptropica, which was 
named one of Time’s 50 Best Websites. He spent his childhood in 
the Washington, D.C., area and moved to New England in 1995- Jeff 
lives with his wife and two sons in Massachusetts, where they own 
a bookstore, An Unlikely Story. 



I 


0 * 


When snow shuts down Greg Meff ley's middle school, his 
neighborhood transforms Into a wintry battlefield. Rival 
groups fight over territory, build massive snow forts, and 
stage epic snowball fights. And In the crosshairs are Greg and 
his trusty best friend, Rowley Jefferson* 

It's a fight for survival as Greg and Rowley navigate alliances, 
betrayals, and warring gangs in a neighborhood meltdown. 
When the snow clears, will Greg and Rowley emerge as heroes? 
Or will they even survive to see another day? 


Amulet Books 

An imprint of ABRAMS 
am u letb oo ks .com 
@abram£kTd&