1 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:35,636 See them tumbling down 2 00:00:35,637 --> 00:00:39,873 Pledging their love to the ground 3 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,576 NARRATOR: Way out West there was this fella. 4 00:00:42,577 --> 00:00:45,012 Fella I wanna tell you about. 5 00:00:45,013 --> 00:00:48,548 Fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. 6 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:52,252 £east that was the handle that his loving parents gave him. 7 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,389 But he never had much use for it himself. 8 00:00:55,390 --> 00:00:59,526 This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. 9 00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:01,662 Now Dude, 10 00:01:01,663 --> 00:01:05,432 that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. 11 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:10,904 But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, 12 00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,640 and a lot about where he lived likewise. 13 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,909 Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds 14 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,578 NARRATOR: But then again, 15 00:01:17,579 --> 00:01:20,747 maybe that's why I found the place so darned interesting. 16 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,783 I know when night has gone 17 00:01:22,784 --> 00:01:25,752 That a new world's born at dawn 18 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:29,856 NARRATOR: They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. 19 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:32,993 I didn't find it to be that, exactly. 20 00:01:32,994 --> 00:01:36,797 But I'll allow there are some nice folks there. 21 00:01:36,798 --> 00:01:39,566 Course, I can't say I seen London, 22 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,902 and I never been to France, 23 00:01:41,903 --> 00:01:47,007 and I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, as the fella says. 24 00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:49,009 But I'll tell you what, 25 00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:54,381 after seeing Los Angeles and this here story I'm about to unfold, 26 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:57,317 well, I guess I've seen something 27 00:01:57,318 --> 00:02:01,588 every bit as stupefying as you can see in any of those other places, 28 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,824 and in English, too. 29 00:02:03,825 --> 00:02:06,827 So I can die with a smile on my face 30 00:02:06,828 --> 00:02:09,627 without feeling like the good Lord gypped me. 31 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,733 Now, this here story I'm about to unfold 32 00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:15,836 took place back in the early '9·s, 33 00:02:15,837 --> 00:02:20,774 just about the time of our conflict with Saddam and the lraqis. 34 00:02:20,775 --> 00:02:24,444 I only mention it 'cause sometimes there's a man... 35 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,546 I won't say a hero. 36 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,682 'Cause what's a hero? 37 00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:31,084 But sometimes there's a man... 38 00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:34,187 And I'm talking about the Dude here. 39 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,957 Sometimes there's a man... 40 00:02:36,958 --> 00:02:41,628 Well, he's the man for his time and place. 41 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:44,431 He fits right in there. 42 00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:47,834 And that's the Dude in Los Angeles. 43 00:02:48,970 --> 00:02:51,638 And even if he is a lazy man, 44 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,341 and the Dude was most certainly that, 45 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:58,178 quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles county, 46 00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:02,047 which would place him high in the running for laziest worldwide. 47 00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:06,186 But sometimes there's a man... 48 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,986 Sometimes there's a man... 49 00:03:10,425 --> 00:03:13,927 Well, I lost my train of thought here. 50 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,191 But... 51 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:18,598 Hell, I done introduced him enough. 52 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,034 BUSH ON TV: ...with them all for a collective action. 53 00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:22,803 This will not stand. 54 00:03:22,804 --> 00:03:26,331 This will not stand, this aggression against Kuwait. 55 00:03:26,908 --> 00:03:32,779 Here on the range I belong 56 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:35,115 Drifting along 57 00:03:35,116 --> 00:03:38,318 With the tumbling 58 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:43,758 Tumbleweeds 59 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,764 (YELLING) 60 00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:52,358 (DUDE EXCLAIMING) 61 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,469 (SPLUTTERING) 62 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,003 (GASPS) 63 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,406 Where's the money, Lebowski? 64 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,675 I want that money, Lebowski. 65 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,244 Bunny says you're good for it. 66 00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:07,047 Where's the money, Lebowski? 67 00:04:07,048 --> 00:04:09,483 Where's the money, Lebowski? 68 00:04:09,484 --> 00:04:12,009 Where's the fucking money, shithead? 69 00:04:12,887 --> 00:04:14,286 (PANTING) 70 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,250 It's down there somewhere. Let me take another look. 71 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,923 Don't fuck with us. 72 00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:24,264 Your wife owes money to Jackie Treehorn, 73 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:27,200 that means you owe money to Jackie Treehorn. 74 00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:29,431 Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski. 75 00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:32,095 No, don't do... 76 00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:36,610 Not on the rug, man. MAN: See? 77 00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:40,013 See what happens, Lebowski? You see what happens? 78 00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:43,049 Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. 79 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,918 I'm the Dude, man. 80 00:04:44,919 --> 00:04:47,754 Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. 81 00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,623 Your wife is Bunny. 82 00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:50,857 (STAMMERS) 83 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,859 My wife? Bunny? 84 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,928 Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? 85 00:04:54,929 --> 00:04:57,297 Does this place look like I'm fucking married? 86 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,460 The toilet seat's up, man! 87 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,476 What the fuck is this? 88 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,673 Obviously you're not a golfer. 89 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,483 Woo? Yeah. 90 00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:19,146 Isn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire? 91 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:21,714 WOO: Fuck. 92 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,025 Yeah. What do you think? 93 00:05:25,026 --> 00:05:27,394 He looks like a fucking loser. 94 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:30,230 Hey, at least I'm housebroken. 95 00:05:30,231 --> 00:05:32,032 Fucking time-waster. 96 00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:33,899 Thanks a lot, asshole. 97 00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:37,370 (DOOR SLAMS) 98 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,431 (THE MAN lN ME PLAYING) 99 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,768 La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la 100 00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:47,314 La-la-la, la, la, la, la 101 00:05:47,315 --> 00:05:50,682 La-la-la, la, la, la-la la-la 102 00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:52,849 £a, la, la-la 103 00:05:54,889 --> 00:05:56,755 La-la-la 104 00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:00,093 La-la-la, la-la-la 105 00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:01,459 La-la, la-la 106 00:06:04,332 --> 00:06:06,528 The man in me will do 107 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,898 Nearly any task 108 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,307 And as for compensation 109 00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:16,800 There's little he would ask 110 00:06:17,612 --> 00:06:20,206 Take a woman like you 111 00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:22,508 To get through 112 00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:25,079 To the man in me 113 00:06:28,256 --> 00:06:31,791 Storm clouds are raging 114 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,728 All around my door 115 00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,364 I think to myself 116 00:06:37,365 --> 00:06:40,823 I might not take it anymore 117 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,572 Take a woman like your kind 118 00:06:45,039 --> 00:06:48,839 To find the man in me 119 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,347 But, oh 120 00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:56,817 What a wonderful feeling 121 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:03,053 Just to know that you are near 122 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:09,819 Sets my heart a-reeling 123 00:07:11,399 --> 00:07:14,334 From my toes 124 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:18,705 Up to my ears 125 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:22,008 The man in me will hide sometimes 126 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,638 To keep from being seen 127 00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:28,682 But that's just because he doesn't want 128 00:07:28,683 --> 00:07:31,685 To turn into some machine 129 00:07:31,686 --> 00:07:34,120 Take a woman like you 130 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,790 To get through 131 00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:38,657 To the man in me 132 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:41,818 (WHOOPS) 133 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:46,199 I'm throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude. 134 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,804 WALTER: I'm telling you, this was a valued rug. This was a... 135 00:07:50,805 --> 00:07:53,406 Yeah, man. It really tied the room together. 136 00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:55,108 This was a valued... 137 00:07:55,109 --> 00:07:56,977 What tied the room together, Dude? My rug. 138 00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:58,545 Were you listening to the Dude's story, Donny? 139 00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,713 What? Walter. 140 00:07:59,714 --> 00:08:02,515 Were you listening to the Dude's story? I was bowling. 141 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,851 So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. 142 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:07,787 You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know... 143 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:11,257 Walter, what's the point, man? There's no reason, here's my point, Dude. 144 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,993 There's no fucking reason why these two... 145 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,227 Yeah, Walter, what's your point? 146 00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:16,329 Walter, what is the... 147 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,832 Look, we all know who is at fault here. 148 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,101 What the fuck are you talking about? Huh? 149 00:08:21,102 --> 00:08:23,832 No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... 150 00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:26,840 We're talking about unchecked aggression here, Dude. 151 00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:28,541 What the fuck is he talking about? My rug. 152 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,410 Forget it, Donny! You're out of your element! 153 00:08:30,411 --> 00:08:33,079 Walter, the Chinaman who peed on my rug, 154 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,014 I can't go give him a bill! 155 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,750 So what the fuck are you talking about? 156 00:08:36,751 --> 00:08:37,951 What the fuck are you talking about? 157 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,186 The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! 158 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,856 I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. 159 00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,358 Across this line you do not... 160 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:49,529 Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. 161 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,231 Asian-American, please. 162 00:08:51,232 --> 00:08:54,734 Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy... 163 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,503 What the fuck are you... 164 00:08:56,504 --> 00:08:59,572 Walter, he peed on my rug! He peed on the Dude's rug. 165 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,207 Donny, you're out of your element. 166 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,577 Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here. 167 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:07,080 So, who... Jeff Lebowski. 168 00:09:07,081 --> 00:09:10,283 The other Jeffrey Lebowski. The millionaire. 169 00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:13,119 That's fucking interesting, man. That's fucking interesting. 170 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,190 Plus, he has the wealth, obviously, and the resources, 171 00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:19,793 so that there's no reason, there's no fucking reason 172 00:09:19,794 --> 00:09:22,595 why his wife should go out and owe money all over town, 173 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:25,131 and then they come and they pee on your fucking rug! 174 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,466 Am I wrong? No. 175 00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:28,101 Am I wrong? Yeah, but... 176 00:09:28,102 --> 00:09:29,235 WALTER: Okay then. 177 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,727 (WALTER CLEARS THROAT) 178 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:34,074 That rug really tied the room together, did it not? 179 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,075 Fucking A. And this guy peed on it. 180 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,477 Donny, please. 181 00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:38,745 You know, this is the fucking guy... 182 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,114 I could find this fucking Lebowski guy. 183 00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:43,550 His name is Lebowski? That's your name, Dude. 184 00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:47,921 This is the guy who should compensate me for the fucking rug. 185 00:09:47,922 --> 00:09:51,624 His wife goes out and owes money all over town, and they pee on my rug? 186 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,760 They pee on your fucking rug? 187 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,457 Peed on my fucking rug. That's right, Dude. 188 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,231 They peed on your fucking rug. 189 00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:03,603 This is the study. 190 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,306 As you can see, the various commendations, awards... 191 00:10:06,307 --> 00:10:10,276 "Jeffrey Lebowski." ...citations, honorary degrees, et cetera. 192 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:14,013 Very impressive. Oh, please feel free to inspect them. 193 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:16,716 Oh. No, I'm not really... Oh, please. Please. 194 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,751 That is the key to the city of Pasadena, 195 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:24,190 which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago in recognition of his various civic... 196 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:28,962 Oh! That's the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever Award, 197 00:10:28,963 --> 00:10:31,197 which is given... Oh, not necessarily given every year. 198 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,398 Hey, is this... 199 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:33,700 Given only when there's a worthy somebody... 200 00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,068 Is this him with Nancy? 201 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:38,404 Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski with the first lady, yes. 202 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,706 It was taken when Mrs. Reagan... 203 00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:42,442 That's Lebowski on the left there? 204 00:10:42,443 --> 00:10:45,245 Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left... So he's a... 205 00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:47,914 You know, a handicapped kind of guy? 206 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:50,077 Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes. 207 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:54,020 This picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan was first lady of the nation. 208 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,188 Yes, yes. 209 00:10:55,189 --> 00:10:57,223 Not of California. Good shot. 210 00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,526 In fact, he met privately with the President, 211 00:10:59,527 --> 00:11:02,362 though, unfortunately, there wasn't enough time for a photo opportunity. 212 00:11:02,363 --> 00:11:04,397 Oh, Nancy's pretty good. Oh, wonderful woman. 213 00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:06,766 We were very happy to... These are... 214 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,536 Oh, those are Mr. Lebowski's children, so to speak. 215 00:11:09,537 --> 00:11:10,904 Different mothers, huh? 216 00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:13,306 No, they're not... Racially, he's pretty cool? 217 00:11:13,307 --> 00:11:14,706 (LAUGHING) 218 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,843 They're not literally his children. 219 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,179 They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, 220 00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:22,282 inner city children of promise, but without the necessary means for... 221 00:11:22,283 --> 00:11:24,384 Necessary means for a higher education, 222 00:11:24,385 --> 00:11:27,887 so Mr. Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college. 223 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,289 Excuse me. Oh, geez. 224 00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:31,191 Thank you. Thank you. 225 00:11:31,192 --> 00:11:35,652 Far out. Think he's got room for one more? One... Oh. 226 00:11:37,298 --> 00:11:38,631 You never went to college. 227 00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:40,767 Please, don't touch that. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I did, 228 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,136 but, you know, I spent most of my time 229 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:46,372 occupying various administration buildings, 230 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,241 smoking a lot of Thai stick, 231 00:11:48,242 --> 00:11:51,511 (LAUGHING) breaking into the ROTC and bowling. 232 00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:53,742 Tell you the truth, Brandt, I don't remember most of it. 233 00:11:56,584 --> 00:11:57,750 (SCOFFS) 234 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:58,912 (DOOR OPENS) 235 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:02,789 Okay, sir. You're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski. 236 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,624 That's terrific. 237 00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:07,492 But I am very busy, as I imagine you are. 238 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,363 What can I do for you, sir? 239 00:12:10,364 --> 00:12:13,967 Well, sir, it's this rug I have. 240 00:12:13,968 --> 00:12:16,069 It really tied the room together. 241 00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:18,838 You told Brandt on the phone. He told me. 242 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,364 Where do I fit in? 243 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:24,344 Well, they were looking for you, these two guys. 244 00:12:24,345 --> 00:12:26,412 You know, they... I'll say it again. 245 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,616 You told Brandt on the phone. He told me. 246 00:12:29,617 --> 00:12:31,751 I know what happened. Yes, yes. 247 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:35,054 Oh, so you know that they were trying to piss on your rug. 248 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,323 Did I urinate on your rug? 249 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,659 You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug? 250 00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:41,728 Hello! Do you speak English, sir? 251 00:12:41,729 --> 00:12:43,663 %Parla usted ingl·s? 252 00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:46,531 I'll ask you again. Did I urinate on your rug? 253 00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:50,036 No. Like I said, Woo peed on my rug. 254 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,804 I just want to understand this, sir. 255 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:55,808 Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, 256 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,644 I have to compensate the person? 257 00:12:57,645 --> 00:13:00,947 Come on, man. I'm not trying to scam anybody here. 258 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,849 You know, I'm just... 259 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:06,377 You're just looking for a handout like every other... 260 00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:10,020 Are you employed, Mr. Lebowski? 261 00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:13,526 Wait. Let me explain something to you. 262 00:13:13,527 --> 00:13:15,461 I am not Mr. Lebowski. 263 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,498 You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. 264 00:13:18,499 --> 00:13:21,100 So that's what you call me. You know? 265 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,236 That or His Dudeness, 266 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,805 or Duder or, you know, 267 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:28,908 El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing. 268 00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,900 Are you employed, sir? 269 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,680 Employed? 270 00:13:33,681 --> 00:13:34,781 (CHUCKLES) 271 00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:39,585 You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that, do you? On a weekday? 272 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,054 Is this a... 273 00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:44,290 What day is this? Well, I do work, sir. 274 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:48,528 So, if you don't mind... No, I do mind. The Dude minds. 275 00:13:48,529 --> 00:13:50,363 This will not stand, you know. 276 00:13:50,364 --> 00:13:52,965 This aggression will not stand, man. 277 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,801 I mean, your wife owes money... 278 00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:57,837 My wife is not the issue here! 279 00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:01,307 I hope that someday my wife will learn to live on her allowance, 280 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:02,775 which is ample. 281 00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:05,712 But if she does not, that is her problem, not mine, 282 00:14:05,713 --> 00:14:07,413 just as the rug is your problem. 283 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:11,451 Just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility, 284 00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:14,253 regardless of who he chooses to blame. 285 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:17,423 I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. 286 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,959 Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea. 287 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,462 But I went out and achieved anyway. 288 00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:23,696 (CHUCKLES) 289 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,860 I cannot solve your problems, sir. Only you can. 290 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,504 Well, fuck it. Oh, fuck it. 291 00:14:31,505 --> 00:14:34,640 Yes, that's your answer. That's your answer to everything. 292 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,476 Tattoo it on your forehead! 293 00:14:36,477 --> 00:14:39,045 Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! 294 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:42,382 Condolences! The bums lost! 295 00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:45,651 My advice to you is to do what your parents did! 296 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,587 Get a job, sir! 297 00:14:47,588 --> 00:14:50,189 The bums will always lose! 298 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,058 Do you hear me, Lebowski? 299 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,460 The bums will always lose. 300 00:14:55,696 --> 00:14:58,097 How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski? 301 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,665 Okay. 302 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,158 The old man told me to take any rug in the house. 303 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,604 Well, enjoy. 304 00:15:04,605 --> 00:15:07,240 And perhaps we'll see you again sometime, Dude. 305 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,441 Yeah, sure. 306 00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:11,377 If I'm in the neighborhood, you know, 307 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:12,812 (SALSA MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 308 00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:14,975 and I need to use the john. 309 00:15:25,626 --> 00:15:27,787 Blow on them. Huh? 310 00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:30,128 Go ahead. Blow. 311 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:35,267 You want me to blow on your toes? 312 00:15:35,736 --> 00:15:36,896 Uh-huh. 313 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:39,404 I can't blow that far. 314 00:15:45,646 --> 00:15:47,780 Are you sure he won't mind? 315 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,950 BUNNY: Uli doesn't care about anything. He's a nihilist. 316 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:53,252 Oh, that must be exhausting. 317 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,121 You're not blowing. 318 00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,957 Our guest has to be getting along, Mrs. Lebowski. 319 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,357 Oh! 320 00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:01,328 You're Bunny. 321 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,791 I'll suck your cock for $1 ,000. 322 00:16:09,503 --> 00:16:11,204 Wonderful woman. 323 00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:13,406 We're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited. 324 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,103 Brandt can't watch though, or he has to pay $100. 325 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,271 That's marvelous. 326 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,277 I'm just gonna go find a cash machine. 327 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:28,921 (WHOOPS) 328 00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,948 I'm slamming them tonight! 329 00:16:31,592 --> 00:16:33,426 You guys are dead in the water. 330 00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:36,396 WALTER: All right! Way to go, Donny! 331 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,899 (DOG WHINING) "lf you will it, it is no dream." 332 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:43,402 Fucking 20 minutes late, man. What the fuck is that? 333 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,504 Theodore Herzl. Huh? 334 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:48,641 State of lsrael. If you will it, Dude, it is no dream. 335 00:16:48,642 --> 00:16:50,643 What the fuck are you talking about, man? 336 00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:53,613 The carrier. What's in the fucking carrier? Huh? 337 00:16:53,614 --> 00:16:56,616 Oh! Cynthia's dog. Think it's a Pomeranian. 338 00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:58,718 Can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. 339 00:16:58,719 --> 00:17:01,554 I'm watching it while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii. 340 00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:03,556 You brought a fucking Pomeranian bowling? 341 00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:05,157 What do you mean, brought it bowling? 342 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:08,261 I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. 343 00:17:08,262 --> 00:17:10,429 He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude. 344 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,833 Man, if my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog 345 00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:15,701 while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, 346 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,337 I'd tell her to go fuck herself. Why can't she board it? 347 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,273 First of all, Dude, you don't have an ex. 348 00:17:20,274 --> 00:17:23,542 Secondly, this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers. 349 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:26,345 You can't board it. It gets upset. lts hair falls out. 350 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,748 Walter... Fucking dog has fucking papers. 351 00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:31,484 Over the line! Huh? 352 00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:33,920 I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line. That's a foul. 353 00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:35,655 Bullshit. Mark it eight, Dude. 354 00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:38,891 Excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame. 355 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:41,894 Bullshit, Walter. Mark it eight, Dude. 356 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,564 Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. 357 00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:47,366 Hey, Walter, come on. Hey, man, it's Smokey. 358 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,635 So his toe slipped over a little, you know. 359 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,871 It's just a game, man. This is a league game. 360 00:17:51,872 --> 00:17:53,906 This determines who enters the next round robin. 361 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,741 Am I wrong? SMOKEY: Yeah, but I wasn't... 362 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,344 Am I wrong? Yeah, but I wasn't over. 363 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:01,147 Give me the marker, Dude. I'm marking an eight. 364 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,877 Smokey, my friend, 365 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,786 you're entering a world of pain. Walter, man. 366 00:18:06,787 --> 00:18:10,589 You mark that frame an eight, you're entering a world of pain. 367 00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:13,225 I'm not... A world of pain. 368 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,428 Look, Dude, this is your partner. 369 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:17,863 Has the whole world gone crazy? 370 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,733 Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? 371 00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:22,034 Mark it zero! 372 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,270 (DOG BARKING) They're calling the cops, man. Put the piece away. 373 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,373 Mark it zero! DUDE: Walter, put the piece away. 374 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,675 Walter. You think I'm fucking around here? 375 00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,303 Mark it zero! 376 00:18:38,085 --> 00:18:40,453 All right. It's fucking zero. 377 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:42,513 You happy, you crazy fuck? 378 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,883 It's a league game, Smokey. 379 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,363 (DOG BARKING) You can't do that, man. 380 00:18:50,364 --> 00:18:53,165 These guys, you know, they're like me, they're pacifists. 381 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,835 Smokey was a conscientious objector. 382 00:18:55,836 --> 00:18:58,738 You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism at one point. 383 00:18:58,739 --> 00:19:00,106 Not in Nam, of course. 384 00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:03,676 And you know he's got emotional problems, man. 385 00:19:03,677 --> 00:19:06,178 You mean, beyond pacifism? 386 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,876 He's fragile. He's very fragile. 387 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,552 I did not know that. 388 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:16,522 Well, it's all water under the bridge. 389 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:19,592 And we do enter the next round robin. 390 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,961 Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong. 391 00:19:21,962 --> 00:19:23,796 Am I wrong? You're not wrong, Walter. 392 00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:25,297 You're just an asshole. 393 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,799 (SIREN WAILING) Okay then. 394 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,534 Play Quintana and O'Brien next week. 395 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,435 They should be pushovers. 396 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,173 Man, would you just... 397 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,008 Just take it easy, man. 398 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:38,377 You know, that's your answer for everything, Dude. 399 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:41,347 Let me point out something. Pacifism is not... 400 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:44,250 Look at our current situation with that camel fucker in lraq. 401 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,285 Pacifism is not something to hide behind. 402 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,653 Just take it easy, man. 403 00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,223 I'm perfectly calm, Dude. 404 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:54,760 Yeah, waving the fucking gun around? Calmer than you are. 405 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,661 Will you just take it easy? 406 00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:59,294 Calmer than you are. 407 00:20:02,102 --> 00:20:03,636 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 408 00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,371 SMOKEY ON MACHINE: Dude, this is Smokey. 409 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,373 Look, I don't wanna be a hard-on about this, 410 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,707 and I know it wasn't your fault, 411 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,376 but I just thought it was fair to tell you 412 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,645 that Gilbert and I will be submitting this to the league 413 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,947 and asking them to set aside the round. 414 00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:17,683 I don't know, maybe forfeit it to us. 415 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:21,020 So, like I say, just thought, you know, fair warning. 416 00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:22,588 Tell Walter. 417 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:23,923 I'm sorry. 418 00:20:23,924 --> 00:20:25,255 (BEEPS) 419 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,025 Mr. Lebowski, this is Brandt at... 420 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,664 Well, at Mr. Lebowski's office. 421 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:34,266 Please call us as soon as it's convenient. 422 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,564 (BEEPS) 423 00:20:35,936 --> 00:20:38,070 Mr. Lebowski, this is Mel Zelnicker 424 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,605 of the Southern Cal Bowling League. 425 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:44,944 I just got an informal report that a member of your team, a Walter Sobchak, 426 00:20:44,945 --> 00:20:47,313 drew a firearm during league play. 427 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,948 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) If this is true, of course, 428 00:20:48,949 --> 00:20:50,749 it contravenes a number of the league's bylaws 429 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,446 and also article 27 of the league... 430 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,288 Dude. Hey, Marty. 431 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,124 Dude, I finally got... 432 00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:00,389 I got the venue I wanted. 433 00:21:00,961 --> 00:21:04,497 I'm performing my dance quintet, you know, my cycle, 434 00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:07,333 at Crane Jackson's Fountain Street Theater on Tuesday night. 435 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:11,566 And, well, I'd love it if you came and gave me notes. 436 00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,135 I'll be there, man. 437 00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:19,311 Dude, tomorrow's already the tenth. 438 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,909 Far out. 439 00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:26,819 Oh. Oh, all right. Okay. 440 00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:29,585 Just slip the rent under my door. 441 00:21:32,526 --> 00:21:35,895 ZELNICKER ON MACHINE: ...serious infraction and examine your standing. 442 00:21:35,896 --> 00:21:37,496 Thank you. 443 00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:38,998 (BEEPS) 444 00:21:38,999 --> 00:21:41,700 Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again. 445 00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:45,204 Please do call us as soon as you get in and I'll send the limo. 446 00:21:45,205 --> 00:21:48,874 I hope you're not avoiding this call because of the rug, 447 00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:51,610 which I assure you is not a problem. 448 00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:54,346 We need your help, and... 449 00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:58,384 Well, we would very much like to see you. Thank you. It's Brandt. 450 00:21:58,385 --> 00:21:59,652 (BEEPS) 451 00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:01,187 We've had some terrible news. 452 00:22:01,188 --> 00:22:03,383 Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion in the west wing. 453 00:22:07,861 --> 00:22:09,351 Mr. Lebowski. 454 00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:17,597 Funny. 455 00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:22,708 I can look back on a life of achievement, 456 00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,977 challenges met, 457 00:22:24,978 --> 00:22:27,112 competitors bested, 458 00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:28,843 obstacles overcome. 459 00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:33,886 I've accomplished more than most men 460 00:22:33,887 --> 00:22:36,185 and without the use of my legs. 461 00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:43,626 What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski? 462 00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:46,331 Dude. Huh? 463 00:22:48,401 --> 00:22:51,136 Oh, I don't know, sir. 464 00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:54,005 Is it being prepared to do the right thing, 465 00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:57,804 whatever the cost? 466 00:22:58,645 --> 00:23:00,773 Isn't that what makes a man? 467 00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:04,407 Sure, that and a pair of testicles. 468 00:23:04,985 --> 00:23:06,782 You're joking, 469 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:10,756 but perhaps you're right. 470 00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:12,657 You mind if I do a Jay? 471 00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:15,755 Bunny. 472 00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:19,162 Excuse me? 473 00:23:19,499 --> 00:23:21,058 Bunny Lebowski. 474 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:24,296 She is the light of my life. 475 00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:28,364 Are you surprised at my tears, sir? 476 00:23:30,310 --> 00:23:32,278 Oh, fucking A. 477 00:23:32,279 --> 00:23:34,770 Strong men also cry. 478 00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:39,385 Strong men also cry. 479 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:41,819 (CLEARS THROAT) 480 00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:44,890 LEBOWSKl: I received this fax this morning. 481 00:23:47,861 --> 00:23:51,490 As you can see, it is a ransom note. 482 00:23:52,465 --> 00:23:54,600 DUDE: "We have Bunny." 483 00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:58,904 Written by men who were unable to achieve on a level field of play. 484 00:23:58,905 --> 00:24:01,674 "Gather $1 million..." 485 00:24:01,675 --> 00:24:05,144 Cowards! "...in unmarked, nonconsecutive 2·s." 486 00:24:05,145 --> 00:24:07,980 Weaklings! "Await instructions." 487 00:24:07,981 --> 00:24:09,710 Bums! "No funny stuff." 488 00:24:10,817 --> 00:24:12,979 Bummer. Huh? 489 00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:17,918 This is a bummer, man. That's... That's a bummer. 490 00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:21,421 Brandt will fill you in on the details. 491 00:24:36,009 --> 00:24:40,846 Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier 492 00:24:40,847 --> 00:24:43,482 once we get instructions for the money. 493 00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:44,717 Why me, man? 494 00:24:44,718 --> 00:24:50,289 He believes the culprits might be the very people who soiled your rug 495 00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:55,294 and you are in a unique position to confirm or disconfirm that suspicion. 496 00:24:55,295 --> 00:24:57,162 He thinks the carpet pissers did this? 497 00:24:57,163 --> 00:24:59,063 Well, Dude, we just don't know. 498 00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:59,089 (LATINO MUSIC PLAYING) 499 00:26:30,223 --> 00:26:33,386 Welcome to the Hotel California 500 00:26:34,294 --> 00:26:36,295 Such a lovely place 501 00:26:36,296 --> 00:26:38,162 Fucking Quintana. 502 00:26:39,132 --> 00:26:41,567 That creep can roll, man. 503 00:26:41,568 --> 00:26:44,560 Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude. Yeah. 504 00:26:45,538 --> 00:26:48,540 No, he's a sex offender with a record. 505 00:26:48,541 --> 00:26:51,610 He did six months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight-year-old. 506 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:53,011 (PINS FALLING) 507 00:26:53,012 --> 00:26:54,980 WALTER: When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door-to-door 508 00:26:54,981 --> 00:26:56,745 to tell everyone he was a pederast. 509 00:26:57,717 --> 00:27:01,210 DONNY: What's a pederast, Walter? Shut the fuck up, Donny. 510 00:27:03,556 --> 00:27:06,225 So, how much did he give you? 511 00:27:06,226 --> 00:27:09,628 20 grand, man. And, of course, I still get to keep the rug. 512 00:27:09,629 --> 00:27:11,029 Just for making a hand-off? Yeah. 513 00:27:11,030 --> 00:27:13,397 (BEEPS) They gave Dude a beeper. 514 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,302 So whenever these guys call... What if it's during a game? 515 00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:20,005 Oh, I told them if it was during league play... 516 00:27:20,006 --> 00:27:21,206 What's during league play? 517 00:27:21,207 --> 00:27:23,742 Life does not stop and start at your convenience, 518 00:27:23,743 --> 00:27:25,744 you miserable piece of shit. 519 00:27:25,745 --> 00:27:27,779 I figure... What's wrong with Walter, Dude? 520 00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:30,382 I figure it's easy money, you know. It's all pretty harmless. 521 00:27:30,383 --> 00:27:32,215 She probably kidnapped herself. 522 00:27:33,186 --> 00:27:36,154 What do you mean, Dude? Rug-peers did not do this. 523 00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:41,093 Look at it. A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. 524 00:27:41,094 --> 00:27:44,029 She figures he isn't giving her enough, you know. 525 00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:45,864 She owes money all over town. 526 00:27:45,865 --> 00:27:48,100 That fucking bitch! 527 00:27:48,101 --> 00:27:49,968 It's all a goddamn fake, man. 528 00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:51,970 It's like Lenin said, 529 00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:57,042 you look for the person who will benefit and, you know... 530 00:27:57,043 --> 00:27:59,671 I Am the Walrus? You know, you'll... 531 00:28:00,313 --> 00:28:02,414 You know what I'm trying to say. I Am the Walrus. 532 00:28:02,415 --> 00:28:05,284 That fucking bitch! Oh, yeah! 533 00:28:05,285 --> 00:28:06,785 I Am the Walrus. That's... 534 00:28:06,786 --> 00:28:08,387 Shut the fuck up, Donny! 535 00:28:08,388 --> 00:28:11,490 V.l. Lenin, Vladimir llyich Ulyanov! 536 00:28:11,491 --> 00:28:12,758 What the fuck is he talking about? 537 00:28:12,759 --> 00:28:14,660 Fucking exactly what happened to those... 538 00:28:14,661 --> 00:28:16,328 WALTER: That makes me fucking sick! 539 00:28:16,329 --> 00:28:19,364 DUDE: Well, what do you care, Walter? Those rich fucks. 540 00:28:19,365 --> 00:28:21,400 This whole fucking thing. 541 00:28:21,401 --> 00:28:24,236 I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck 542 00:28:24,237 --> 00:28:26,071 so that this fucking strumpet, 543 00:28:26,072 --> 00:28:27,306 this fucking whore, could waltz around... 544 00:28:27,307 --> 00:28:29,808 I don't see any connection with Vietnam, man. 545 00:28:29,809 --> 00:28:31,543 Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude. 546 00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:33,512 No, Walter, face it, there isn't any connection. 547 00:28:33,513 --> 00:28:35,080 Your roll. Have it your way. 548 00:28:35,081 --> 00:28:36,515 Your roll. But my point is... 549 00:28:36,516 --> 00:28:39,281 My point is... QUINTANA: Are you ready to be fucked, man? 550 00:28:40,954 --> 00:28:43,753 I see you rolled your way into the semis. 551 00:28:44,791 --> 00:28:47,192 Dios mfo, man. 552 00:28:47,193 --> 00:28:50,060 Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up. 553 00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:56,332 Yeah? Well, you know, that's just like your opinion, man. 554 00:28:57,537 --> 00:29:00,706 Let me tell you something, pendejo. 555 00:29:00,707 --> 00:29:03,008 You pull any of your crazy shit with us, 556 00:29:03,009 --> 00:29:05,911 you flash a piece out on the lanes, 557 00:29:05,912 --> 00:29:08,914 I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass 558 00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:12,112 and pull the fucking trigger till it goes click. 559 00:29:14,087 --> 00:29:15,420 Jesus. 560 00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,155 You said it, man. 561 00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:19,386 Nobody fucks with the Jesus. 562 00:29:25,698 --> 00:29:27,098 Eight-year-olds, Dude. 563 00:29:28,735 --> 00:29:30,225 (PINS FALLING) 564 00:29:35,174 --> 00:29:36,733 (MEN EYCLAIMING) 565 00:29:46,986 --> 00:29:49,421 (THE MAN lN ME PLAYING) 566 00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:53,453 La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la 567 00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:56,061 La-la-la, la, la, la, la 568 00:29:56,062 --> 00:29:57,763 La-la-la, la, la, la, la 569 00:29:57,764 --> 00:30:00,255 La-la-la, la, la, la, la 570 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,363 La-la, la-la 571 00:30:04,537 --> 00:30:06,164 La-la-la 572 00:30:07,407 --> 00:30:09,541 La-la-la, la-la-la 573 00:30:09,542 --> 00:30:10,907 La-la, la-la 574 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,076 The man in me will do 575 00:30:17,183 --> 00:30:19,652 Nearly any task 576 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,689 And as for compensation 577 00:30:23,690 --> 00:30:25,824 There's little he would ask 578 00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:27,325 (SCREAMING) 579 00:30:27,326 --> 00:30:29,921 Take a woman like you 580 00:30:30,730 --> 00:30:32,129 To get through 581 00:30:32,598 --> 00:30:34,658 To the man in me 582 00:30:37,737 --> 00:30:40,832 Storm clouds are raging 583 00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:43,900 All around my door 584 00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:46,945 I think to myself 585 00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:50,405 I might not take it anymore 586 00:30:51,184 --> 00:30:54,119 Take a woman like your kind 587 00:30:54,554 --> 00:30:58,581 To find the man in me 588 00:31:01,327 --> 00:31:03,128 But, oh 589 00:31:03,129 --> 00:31:04,296 (BEEPER BEEPING) 590 00:31:04,297 --> 00:31:06,197 What a wonderful feeling 591 00:31:08,835 --> 00:31:10,702 Just to know 592 00:31:10,703 --> 00:31:13,172 That you are near 593 00:31:14,907 --> 00:31:16,141 (GROANS) 594 00:31:16,142 --> 00:31:19,644 Sets my heart a-reeling 595 00:31:19,645 --> 00:31:20,946 (MUTTERING) 596 00:31:20,947 --> 00:31:23,814 From my toes 597 00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:27,377 Up to my ears 598 00:31:28,287 --> 00:31:31,623 The man in me will hide sometimes 599 00:31:31,624 --> 00:31:33,191 BRANDT: They called about ·0 minutes ago. 600 00:31:33,192 --> 00:31:35,894 They want you to take the money, drive north on the 405. 601 00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,329 They will call you on the portable phone 602 00:31:37,330 --> 00:31:39,498 with instructions in about 40 minutes. 603 00:31:39,499 --> 00:31:40,665 One person only. 604 00:31:40,666 --> 00:31:43,201 They were very clear on that, or I'd go with you. One person only. 605 00:31:43,202 --> 00:31:46,195 What happened to yourjaw? Oh, nothing, man. 606 00:31:47,740 --> 00:31:49,367 Here's the money. 607 00:31:50,209 --> 00:31:51,910 And the phone. 608 00:31:51,911 --> 00:31:54,846 Please, Dude, follow whatever instructions they give. 609 00:31:54,847 --> 00:31:57,716 All right. Her life is in your hands. 610 00:31:57,717 --> 00:31:59,418 Man, don't say that. 611 00:31:59,419 --> 00:32:02,120 Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that, her life is in your hands. 612 00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,522 Oh, shit, man. 613 00:32:03,523 --> 00:32:05,957 Her life is in your hands, Dude. 614 00:32:05,958 --> 00:32:08,621 Report back to us as soon as it's done. 615 00:32:18,104 --> 00:32:22,440 Where the fuck are you going, man? Take the ringer, I'll drive. 616 00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:24,743 The what? The ringer. 617 00:32:24,744 --> 00:32:26,371 The ringer, Dude. 618 00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:36,188 DUDE: What the... Have they called yet? 619 00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:38,056 What the hell is this? 620 00:32:38,057 --> 00:32:41,026 My dirty undies, Dude. The laundry. The whites. 621 00:32:41,027 --> 00:32:45,230 Walter, I'm sure there's a reason you brought your dirty undies, man. 622 00:32:45,231 --> 00:32:46,598 That's right, Dude. The weight. 623 00:32:46,599 --> 00:32:47,999 The ringer cannot look empty. 624 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,135 Walter, what the fuck are you thinking, man? 625 00:32:50,136 --> 00:32:52,137 You're right, Dude. I got to thinking. 626 00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:55,073 I got to thinking, why should we settle for a measly fucking 20 grand... 627 00:32:55,074 --> 00:32:58,376 We? What the fuck, "we"? You said you just wanted to come along. 628 00:32:58,377 --> 00:33:00,846 My point, Dude, is why should we settle for 20 grand 629 00:33:00,847 --> 00:33:03,582 when we can keep the entire million? Am I wrong? 630 00:33:03,583 --> 00:33:06,751 Yes, you're wrong. This isn't a fucking game, man. 631 00:33:06,752 --> 00:33:09,154 Oh, but it is a game. You said so yourself. 632 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:11,456 She kidnapped herself. I said I thought... 633 00:33:11,457 --> 00:33:12,822 (PHONE RINGING) 634 00:33:17,630 --> 00:33:19,689 Dude, here. MAN: (WITH GERMAN ACCENT) Who is this? 635 00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:24,135 Dude. The bagman, man. Where do you want us to go? 636 00:33:24,136 --> 00:33:25,160 Us? 637 00:33:26,806 --> 00:33:27,898 Shit! 638 00:33:29,809 --> 00:33:32,510 Yeah, you know, me and the driver. 639 00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:36,381 I'm not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all by my... 640 00:33:36,382 --> 00:33:37,716 Shut the fuck up! 641 00:33:37,717 --> 00:33:40,709 Dude, are you fucking this up? Who is that? 642 00:33:42,054 --> 00:33:44,723 That is the driver. I told you... 643 00:33:44,724 --> 00:33:46,391 (DIAL TONE HUMS) 644 00:33:46,392 --> 00:33:48,360 Oh, shit! What the fuck's going on? 645 00:33:48,361 --> 00:33:49,828 Walter... What the fuck is going on? 646 00:33:49,829 --> 00:33:54,266 He hung up, man. You fucked it up. You fucked it up! 647 00:33:54,267 --> 00:33:56,868 Her life was in our hands, man. Easy, Dude. 648 00:33:56,869 --> 00:34:00,839 We're screwed now. We don't get shit. They're gonna kill her. 649 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,642 We're fucked, Walter. Nothing is fucked, Dude. 650 00:34:03,643 --> 00:34:06,211 Come on. You're being very un-Dude. 651 00:34:06,212 --> 00:34:08,713 They'll call back. Look, she kidnapped... 652 00:34:08,714 --> 00:34:09,848 (PHONE RINGING) 653 00:34:09,849 --> 00:34:11,883 You see? Nothing's fucked here, Dude. 654 00:34:11,884 --> 00:34:15,854 Nothing is fucked. They're a bunch of fucking amateurs. 655 00:34:15,855 --> 00:34:18,456 Walter, will you just shut the fuck up? 656 00:34:18,457 --> 00:34:20,892 Don't say peep while I'm doing business here, man. 657 00:34:20,893 --> 00:34:22,862 Okay, Dude. Have it your way. 658 00:34:24,964 --> 00:34:27,399 But they're amateurs. Fuck. 659 00:34:29,001 --> 00:34:30,235 Dude. 660 00:34:30,236 --> 00:34:33,605 MAN: Okay, we proceed but only if there is no funny stuff. 661 00:34:33,606 --> 00:34:35,206 Yeah, yeah. 662 00:34:35,207 --> 00:34:37,375 So no funny sturt Okay? 663 00:34:37,376 --> 00:34:39,970 Just tell me where the fuck you want us to go. 664 00:34:43,616 --> 00:34:45,884 That was the sign, man. 665 00:34:45,885 --> 00:34:49,688 So, all we gotta do is get her back. 666 00:34:49,689 --> 00:34:52,157 No one's in a position to complain. 667 00:34:52,158 --> 00:34:54,659 We keep the baksheesh. Yeah, terrific, Walter. 668 00:34:54,660 --> 00:34:57,395 But you haven't told me how we're gonna get her back. Where is she? 669 00:34:57,396 --> 00:34:59,331 That's the simple part, Dude. 670 00:34:59,332 --> 00:35:03,598 We make the hand-off, I grab one of them and beat it out of him. Huh? 671 00:35:04,737 --> 00:35:07,472 That's a great plan, Walter. 672 00:35:07,473 --> 00:35:09,674 That's fucking ingenious, if I understand it correctly. 673 00:35:09,675 --> 00:35:11,710 It's a Swiss fucking watch. 674 00:35:11,711 --> 00:35:14,913 That's right, Dude. The beauty of this is its simplicity. 675 00:35:14,914 --> 00:35:18,249 Once a plan gets too complex, everything can go wrong. 676 00:35:18,250 --> 00:35:20,085 If there's one thing I learned in Nam... 677 00:35:20,086 --> 00:35:21,553 (PHONE RINGING) 678 00:35:23,956 --> 00:35:25,123 Dude. 679 00:35:25,124 --> 00:35:27,058 MAN: You are coming to wooden bridge. 680 00:35:27,059 --> 00:35:28,293 When you cross the bridge, 681 00:35:28,294 --> 00:35:31,696 you throw the bag from the left window of the moving car. 682 00:35:31,697 --> 00:35:32,831 You're being watched. 683 00:35:32,832 --> 00:35:34,065 (DIAL TONE HUMS) 684 00:35:34,066 --> 00:35:36,468 Fuck. What'd he say? Where's the hand-off? 685 00:35:36,469 --> 00:35:38,236 There is no fucking hand-off, man. 686 00:35:38,237 --> 00:35:41,006 At the wooden bridge we throw the money out of the car. 687 00:35:41,007 --> 00:35:43,805 We throw the money out of the moving car. 688 00:35:44,377 --> 00:35:47,112 We can't do that, Dude. That fucks up our plan. 689 00:35:47,113 --> 00:35:49,114 Well, call them up and explain it to them, Walter. 690 00:35:49,115 --> 00:35:50,448 Your plan is so fucking simple, 691 00:35:50,449 --> 00:35:52,317 I'm sure they'll fucking understand it. 692 00:35:52,318 --> 00:35:53,585 That's the beauty of it. 693 00:35:53,586 --> 00:35:56,054 WALTER: Wooden bridge, huh? Throw them the money, Walter. 694 00:35:56,055 --> 00:35:57,689 We're not fucking around, man. 695 00:35:57,690 --> 00:36:00,025 Okay, Dude, the bridge is coming up. Give me the ringer, chop-chop. 696 00:36:00,026 --> 00:36:01,626 Fuck that. Walter, I love you, 697 00:36:01,627 --> 00:36:04,796 but sooner or later you're gonna have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron. 698 00:36:04,797 --> 00:36:07,232 Okay, Dude. No time to argue. Hey, man! 699 00:36:07,233 --> 00:36:09,667 Here's the bridge. Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter! 700 00:36:09,668 --> 00:36:12,399 Hey, Walter! Here goes the ringer! 701 00:36:13,673 --> 00:36:15,974 What the fuck? Okay, Dude, you're wheel. 702 00:36:15,975 --> 00:36:18,243 Hey, man, what the fuck? At 15 mph, I roll out. 703 00:36:18,244 --> 00:36:20,245 I double back, grab one of them and beat it out of him. 704 00:36:20,246 --> 00:36:21,513 The Uzi. Uzi. 705 00:36:21,514 --> 00:36:23,715 You didn't think I was rolling out of here naked, did you? 706 00:36:23,716 --> 00:36:26,418 Walter, please! Fifteen, Dude! This is it! Let's take that hill! 707 00:36:26,419 --> 00:36:27,682 Walter! 708 00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:33,559 (TIRES SCREECHING) 709 00:36:40,232 --> 00:36:42,434 (BIKE ENGINES REVVING) 710 00:36:42,435 --> 00:36:43,993 (MOANING) 711 00:36:50,509 --> 00:36:53,311 We have it! 712 00:36:53,312 --> 00:36:55,914 We have it! 713 00:36:55,915 --> 00:36:57,849 We have it! 714 00:36:58,317 --> 00:37:00,251 (PANTING) 715 00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:14,499 Fuck it, Dude. 716 00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:16,093 Let's go bowling. 717 00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:22,332 (PHONE RINGING) 718 00:37:31,484 --> 00:37:33,111 (PINS FALLING) 719 00:37:36,856 --> 00:37:38,346 (PHONE RINGING) 720 00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:57,976 Aitz chaim he, Dude, as the ex used to say. 721 00:37:57,977 --> 00:37:59,844 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 722 00:37:59,845 --> 00:38:03,014 What the fuck are we gonna tell Lebowski? 723 00:38:03,015 --> 00:38:05,216 Oh, him. 724 00:38:05,217 --> 00:38:08,286 I don't know. What exactly is the problem? 725 00:38:08,287 --> 00:38:10,153 The problem is... 726 00:38:11,423 --> 00:38:13,258 What do you mean, what's the... 727 00:38:13,259 --> 00:38:14,783 There was no... 728 00:38:15,661 --> 00:38:17,220 We didn't... 729 00:38:18,330 --> 00:38:20,598 They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! 730 00:38:20,599 --> 00:38:22,534 What the fuck are you talking about? 731 00:38:22,535 --> 00:38:25,136 The poor woman, that poor slut kidnapped herself. 732 00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:26,538 Come on, Dude. You said so yourself. 733 00:38:26,539 --> 00:38:28,907 Man, I said I thought she kidnapped herself. 734 00:38:28,908 --> 00:38:30,475 You're the one who's so fucking certain. 735 00:38:30,476 --> 00:38:33,111 That's right, Dude. 100% certain. 736 00:38:33,112 --> 00:38:34,913 They posted the next round for the tournament. 737 00:38:34,914 --> 00:38:36,247 Donny, shut the fuck... 738 00:38:36,248 --> 00:38:38,349 When do we play? This Saturday. Quintana and... 739 00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:40,151 Saturday? Well, they'll have to reschedule. 740 00:38:40,152 --> 00:38:42,587 Walter, what am l gonna tell Lebowski? 741 00:38:42,588 --> 00:38:45,990 I told that fuck down at the league office. Who's in charge of scheduling? 742 00:38:45,991 --> 00:38:47,625 Walter! Burkhalter. 743 00:38:47,626 --> 00:38:50,662 I told that kraut a fucking thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos! 744 00:38:50,663 --> 00:38:52,063 Walter! They already posted it. 745 00:38:52,064 --> 00:38:53,731 Well, they can fucking un-post it! 746 00:38:53,732 --> 00:38:57,135 Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! 747 00:38:57,136 --> 00:38:59,470 What am I gonna tell Lebowski? Come on, Dude. 748 00:38:59,471 --> 00:39:02,574 Eventually she'll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back. 749 00:39:02,575 --> 00:39:04,175 How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter? 750 00:39:04,176 --> 00:39:05,443 I'm shomer shabbos. 751 00:39:05,444 --> 00:39:07,445 What's that, Walter? Yeah, and in the meantime, 752 00:39:07,446 --> 00:39:08,947 what do I tell Lebowski? 753 00:39:08,948 --> 00:39:11,382 Saturday, Donny, is shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. 754 00:39:11,383 --> 00:39:13,918 That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, 755 00:39:13,919 --> 00:39:15,486 I don't fucking ride in a car, 756 00:39:15,487 --> 00:39:17,422 I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven 757 00:39:17,423 --> 00:39:19,550 and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! 758 00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:21,626 Sheesh. 759 00:39:21,627 --> 00:39:23,152 Shomer shabbos! 760 00:39:25,097 --> 00:39:27,899 Walter, how am I gonna... Shomer·u··· shabbos! 761 00:39:27,900 --> 00:39:31,236 Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm out of here. Oh, come on, Dude. 762 00:39:31,237 --> 00:39:32,602 (lNAUDIBLE) 763 00:39:33,172 --> 00:39:35,038 Dude! Dude! 764 00:39:37,309 --> 00:39:38,710 You just tell him... 765 00:39:38,711 --> 00:39:41,179 Tell him we made the drop and everything went, you know... 766 00:39:41,180 --> 00:39:42,313 Oh, yeah. How'd it go? 767 00:39:42,314 --> 00:39:44,282 Went all right. Dude's car got a little dinged up. 768 00:39:44,283 --> 00:39:46,751 Walter, we didn't make the fucking hand-off, man! 769 00:39:46,752 --> 00:39:48,886 They didn't get the fucking money! 770 00:39:48,887 --> 00:39:50,221 And they're gonna... They're gonna... 771 00:39:50,222 --> 00:39:51,890 They're gonna kill that poor woman. 772 00:39:51,891 --> 00:39:54,659 They're gonna kill that poor woman! 773 00:39:54,660 --> 00:39:56,194 Walter, if you can't ride in a car, 774 00:39:56,195 --> 00:39:57,662 then how do you get around on shabbos? 775 00:39:57,663 --> 00:39:59,764 Really, Dude, you surprise me. 776 00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:01,165 They're not gonna kill shit. 777 00:40:01,166 --> 00:40:02,367 They're not gonna do shit. 778 00:40:02,368 --> 00:40:04,068 What can they do to her? Bunch of fucking amateurs. 779 00:40:04,069 --> 00:40:06,004 And meanwhile, look at the bottom line. 780 00:40:06,005 --> 00:40:08,339 Who's sitting on a million fucking dollars? 781 00:40:08,340 --> 00:40:09,540 Am I wrong? Walter. 782 00:40:09,541 --> 00:40:12,710 Who's got a fucking million fucking dollars sitting in the trunk of our car? 783 00:40:12,711 --> 00:40:15,813 Our car, Walter? And what do they got? My dirty undies. 784 00:40:15,814 --> 00:40:17,441 My fucking whites! 785 00:40:18,450 --> 00:40:19,751 (PHONE RINGING) 786 00:40:19,752 --> 00:40:21,219 (CLEARS THROAT) 787 00:40:23,555 --> 00:40:24,887 Say, Dude? 788 00:40:25,758 --> 00:40:27,792 Where is your car? 789 00:40:27,793 --> 00:40:31,029 Who's got your undies, Walter? Where's your car, Dude? 790 00:40:31,030 --> 00:40:33,123 You don't know, Walter? 791 00:40:33,866 --> 00:40:37,529 WALTER: It was parked in a handicap zone. Perhaps they towed it. 792 00:40:38,437 --> 00:40:41,239 (PHONE RINGING) You fucking know it's been stolen. 793 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:44,141 Well, certainly that's a possibility, Dude. 794 00:40:45,544 --> 00:40:46,944 Oh, fuck it. 795 00:40:49,515 --> 00:40:52,984 Where you going, Dude? I'm going home, Donny. 796 00:40:52,985 --> 00:40:56,148 Phone's ringing, Dude. Thank you, Donny! 797 00:41:00,492 --> 00:41:01,983 (PHONE RINGING) 798 00:41:05,564 --> 00:41:07,032 (PHONE STOPS RINGING) 799 00:41:11,704 --> 00:41:12,796 Yeah. 800 00:41:14,173 --> 00:41:19,304 Green with some brown, rust coloration. 801 00:41:20,512 --> 00:41:23,748 And was there anything of value in the car? 802 00:41:23,749 --> 00:41:25,183 Oh, yeah. 803 00:41:26,585 --> 00:41:30,920 A tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a... 804 00:41:33,492 --> 00:41:35,017 My briefcase. 805 00:41:37,629 --> 00:41:39,256 In the briefcase? 806 00:41:41,367 --> 00:41:42,561 Papers. 807 00:41:43,469 --> 00:41:44,868 Just papers. 808 00:41:45,871 --> 00:41:49,273 You know, my papers, business papers. 809 00:41:50,943 --> 00:41:54,276 And what do you do, sir? I'm unemployed. 810 00:41:57,649 --> 00:42:00,651 (PHONE RINGING) My rug was also stolen. 811 00:42:00,652 --> 00:42:03,021 Your rug was in the car? 812 00:42:03,022 --> 00:42:04,717 No. Here. 813 00:42:05,424 --> 00:42:07,085 Separate incidents. 814 00:42:07,259 --> 00:42:09,060 (ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS) 815 00:42:09,061 --> 00:42:10,895 DUDE ON MACHINE: The Dude is not in. 816 00:42:10,896 --> 00:42:13,763 Do you find them much, these stolen cars? 817 00:42:14,833 --> 00:42:16,165 Sometimes. 818 00:42:17,002 --> 00:42:19,537 Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though. 819 00:42:19,538 --> 00:42:21,406 Or the Creedence. 820 00:42:21,407 --> 00:42:25,366 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) What about the briefcase? 821 00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:27,412 WOMAN: Mr. Lebowski, I'd like to see you. 822 00:42:27,413 --> 00:42:29,414 Call when you get home and I'll send a car for you. 823 00:42:29,415 --> 00:42:33,151 My name is Maude Lebowski. I'm the one who took your rug. 824 00:42:33,152 --> 00:42:36,212 Well, guess we can close the file on that one. 825 00:42:39,591 --> 00:42:41,225 (DOOR CLOSES) 826 00:42:41,226 --> 00:42:43,525 (WOMAN CHANTING) 827 00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:15,725 (THUDDING) 828 00:43:18,530 --> 00:43:20,396 (SQUEAKING) 829 00:43:21,166 --> 00:43:22,361 (YELLS) 830 00:43:24,970 --> 00:43:27,302 (WOMAN SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 831 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:30,741 I'll be with you in a moment, Mr. Lebowski. 832 00:43:31,110 --> 00:43:33,408 (WOMAN CHANTING) 833 00:43:35,214 --> 00:43:37,614 (lNDISTINCT CHATTERING) 834 00:43:49,261 --> 00:43:52,763 Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski? 835 00:43:52,764 --> 00:43:56,634 Is that what this is a picture of? In a sense, yes. 836 00:43:56,635 --> 00:43:59,403 My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, 837 00:43:59,404 --> 00:44:00,571 which bothers some men. 838 00:44:00,572 --> 00:44:03,508 The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. 839 00:44:04,042 --> 00:44:06,177 Vagina. Oh, yeah? 840 00:44:06,178 --> 00:44:08,713 Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say, 841 00:44:08,714 --> 00:44:10,148 whereas without batting an eye, 842 00:44:10,149 --> 00:44:14,347 a man will refer to his dick, or his rod or his johnson. 843 00:44:15,621 --> 00:44:16,721 "Johnson"? 844 00:44:16,722 --> 00:44:19,490 All right, Mr. Lebowski, let's get down to cases. 845 00:44:19,491 --> 00:44:22,026 My father told me he agreed to let you have the rug, 846 00:44:22,027 --> 00:44:26,097 but as it was a gift from me to my late mother, it was not his to give. 847 00:44:26,098 --> 00:44:27,998 Now, your face. 848 00:44:29,268 --> 00:44:31,168 As for this kidnapping. 849 00:44:31,303 --> 00:44:32,370 Huh? 850 00:44:32,371 --> 00:44:35,873 Yes, I know all about it, and I know that you acted as courier. 851 00:44:35,874 --> 00:44:39,210 Let me tell you something. The whole thing stinks to high heaven. 852 00:44:39,211 --> 00:44:43,514 Yeah, right, but let me explain something about the rug. 853 00:44:43,515 --> 00:44:45,745 Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski? 854 00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:50,121 Excuse me? Sex, the physical act of love. Coitus. 855 00:44:50,122 --> 00:44:53,424 Do you like it? I was talking about my rug. 856 00:44:53,425 --> 00:44:56,027 You're not interested in sex? 857 00:44:56,028 --> 00:44:58,396 You mean coitus? I like it, too. 858 00:44:58,397 --> 00:45:00,765 It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. 859 00:45:00,766 --> 00:45:03,267 It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. 860 00:45:03,268 --> 00:45:04,735 However, there are some people, 861 00:45:04,736 --> 00:45:07,772 it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women, 862 00:45:07,773 --> 00:45:11,008 who engage in it compulsively and without joy. 863 00:45:11,009 --> 00:45:14,111 Oh, no. Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski. 864 00:45:14,112 --> 00:45:18,082 These unfortunate souls cannot love, in the true sense of the word. 865 00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:21,652 Our mutual acquaintance, Bunny, is one of these. 866 00:45:21,653 --> 00:45:23,955 Listen, Maude, 867 00:45:23,956 --> 00:45:27,225 I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, 868 00:45:27,226 --> 00:45:30,695 but, you know, I don't see what this has to do with... 869 00:45:30,696 --> 00:45:33,495 You have any Kahlua? Take a look at this, sir. 870 00:45:37,035 --> 00:45:38,867 DUDE: Oh, I know that guy. 871 00:45:40,472 --> 00:45:42,668 He's a nihilist. 872 00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,077 "Karl Hungus." 873 00:45:46,078 --> 00:45:47,739 (lCE CUBES CLINKING) 874 00:45:59,725 --> 00:46:01,225 Hi. Hello. 875 00:46:01,226 --> 00:46:04,262 Mein dispatcher says there is something wrong with dein Kabel. 876 00:46:04,263 --> 00:46:05,463 Yeah. Come on in. 877 00:46:05,464 --> 00:46:07,999 I'm not really sure exactly what's really wrong with the cable. 878 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,668 That's why they sent me. I am an expert. 879 00:46:10,669 --> 00:46:12,036 The TV's in here. 880 00:46:12,037 --> 00:46:15,234 You recognize her, of course. Helga, bring my tools. 881 00:46:18,143 --> 00:46:19,977 That's my friend Sherry. 882 00:46:19,978 --> 00:46:21,746 She just came over to use the shower. 883 00:46:21,747 --> 00:46:24,181 The story is ludicrous. 884 00:46:24,182 --> 00:46:27,218 My name is Karl. lch bin expert. 885 00:46:27,219 --> 00:46:29,353 You must be here to fix the cable. 886 00:46:29,354 --> 00:46:32,290 Lord, you can imagine where it goes from here. 887 00:46:32,291 --> 00:46:33,824 He fixes the cable? 888 00:46:33,825 --> 00:46:35,960 Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey. 889 00:46:35,961 --> 00:46:39,330 Little matter to me that this woman chose to pursue a career in pornography, 890 00:46:39,331 --> 00:46:42,066 nor that she has been banging Jackie Treehorn, 891 00:46:42,067 --> 00:46:43,901 to use the parlance of our times. 892 00:46:43,902 --> 00:46:47,938 However, I am one of the two trustees of the Lebowski Foundation, 893 00:46:47,939 --> 00:46:49,674 the other being my father. 894 00:46:49,675 --> 00:46:51,742 The foundation takes youngsters from Watts and... 895 00:46:51,743 --> 00:46:53,210 Shit, yeah. The achievers. 896 00:46:53,211 --> 00:46:56,981 Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes, and proud we are of all of them. 897 00:46:56,982 --> 00:47:00,918 I asked my father about his withdrawal of $1 million from the foundation account, 898 00:47:00,919 --> 00:47:02,820 and he told me about this abduction, 899 00:47:02,821 --> 00:47:04,555 but I tell you it is preposterous. 900 00:47:04,556 --> 00:47:08,526 This compulsive fornicator is taking my father for the proverbial ride. 901 00:47:08,527 --> 00:47:10,561 Yeah, but my... I'm getting to your rug. 902 00:47:10,562 --> 00:47:12,363 My father and l don't get along. 903 00:47:12,364 --> 00:47:14,098 He doesn't approve of my lifestyle and, 904 00:47:14,099 --> 00:47:15,833 needless to say, I don't approve of his. 905 00:47:15,834 --> 00:47:19,737 However, I hardly wish to make my father's embezzlement a police matter. 906 00:47:19,738 --> 00:47:22,673 So I'm proposing that you try to recover the money 907 00:47:22,674 --> 00:47:24,909 from the people you delivered it to. 908 00:47:24,910 --> 00:47:27,878 Well, I could do that. 909 00:47:27,879 --> 00:47:29,847 If you successfully do so, 910 00:47:29,848 --> 00:47:35,186 I will compensate you to the tune of 10% of the recovered sum. 911 00:47:35,187 --> 00:47:37,288 A hundred... Thousand. Yes. 912 00:47:37,289 --> 00:47:40,124 Bones or clams or whatever you call them. 913 00:47:40,125 --> 00:47:44,462 Yeah, but what about my... Your rug, yes. 914 00:47:44,463 --> 00:47:47,131 Well, with that money you can buy any number of rugs 915 00:47:47,132 --> 00:47:49,834 that don't have sentimental value for me. 916 00:47:49,835 --> 00:47:52,436 And I am sorry about that crack on the jaw. 917 00:47:52,437 --> 00:47:54,972 Oh, that's fine. That doesn't even... 918 00:47:54,973 --> 00:47:57,608 Here's the name and number of a doctor who will look at it for you. 919 00:47:57,609 --> 00:47:59,243 You will receive no bill. 920 00:47:59,244 --> 00:48:00,911 He's a good man and thorough. 921 00:48:00,912 --> 00:48:02,613 (STUTTERS) That's thoughtful but... 922 00:48:02,614 --> 00:48:06,107 Please see him, Jeffrey. He's a good man and thorough. 923 00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,881 Oh, well, all right. 924 00:48:10,922 --> 00:48:12,656 So he says, "My wife's a pain in the ass. 925 00:48:12,657 --> 00:48:15,159 "She's always busting my frigging agates. 926 00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:18,429 "My daughter's married to a loser bastard. 927 00:48:18,430 --> 00:48:22,399 "l got a rash so bad on my ass I can't even sit down. 928 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,668 "But you know me, I can't complain." 929 00:48:24,669 --> 00:48:26,537 (LAUGHING) Oh, fucking A, man. 930 00:48:26,538 --> 00:48:29,269 I got a rash, man. Fucking A. 931 00:48:30,342 --> 00:48:32,977 I gotta tell you, Tone, man, 932 00:48:32,978 --> 00:48:36,180 earlier today I was really feeling shitty, man. 933 00:48:36,181 --> 00:48:38,182 Really down in the dumps. 934 00:48:38,183 --> 00:48:39,650 Lost a little money... 935 00:48:39,651 --> 00:48:43,154 Hey, you know what? Forget about it, huh? Forget about it. 936 00:48:43,155 --> 00:48:44,488 Yeah, fuck it, man. 937 00:48:44,489 --> 00:48:47,391 You can't be worried about that shit. Life goes on, man. 938 00:48:47,392 --> 00:48:50,089 Well, home, sweet home, Mr. L. 939 00:48:52,831 --> 00:48:55,199 TONY: Hey, yo. Come here. 940 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,692 Who's your friend in the Volkswagen? Huh? 941 00:48:59,571 --> 00:49:01,872 TONY: Yeah. He followed us here. 942 00:49:01,873 --> 00:49:04,875 When did he start... Whoa! What the fuck? 943 00:49:04,876 --> 00:49:07,077 Get in the limo, you son of a bitch! No arguments! 944 00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:09,946 Hey! Hey! Careful, man! There's a beverage here! 945 00:49:11,616 --> 00:49:14,151 Start talking, and talk fast, you lousy bum. 946 00:49:14,152 --> 00:49:16,086 We've been frantically trying to reach you, Dude. 947 00:49:16,087 --> 00:49:18,613 Where is my goddamn money, you bum? 948 00:49:20,158 --> 00:49:22,960 Well, we... I don't... 949 00:49:22,961 --> 00:49:25,329 They did not receive the money, you nitwit! 950 00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:27,031 They did not receive the money! 951 00:49:27,032 --> 00:49:29,400 Her life was in your hands! 952 00:49:29,401 --> 00:49:31,001 This is our concern, Dude. 953 00:49:31,002 --> 00:49:33,137 No, man. Nothing is fucked here. 954 00:49:33,138 --> 00:49:35,139 Nothing is fucked? No, man. 955 00:49:35,140 --> 00:49:39,043 The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain! 956 00:49:39,044 --> 00:49:43,347 Man, come on. Who are you gonna believe, those guys or... 957 00:49:43,348 --> 00:49:45,182 We dropped off the damn money. 958 00:49:45,183 --> 00:49:46,480 We? 959 00:49:47,786 --> 00:49:50,855 l, the royal we. 960 00:49:50,856 --> 00:49:52,289 You know. The editorial... 961 00:49:52,290 --> 00:49:54,425 I dropped off the money exactly as per... 962 00:49:54,426 --> 00:49:58,295 Look, man, I've got certain information. All right? 963 00:49:58,296 --> 00:50:00,865 Certain things have come to light and... 964 00:50:00,866 --> 00:50:03,567 You know, has it ever occurred to you 965 00:50:03,568 --> 00:50:09,106 that instead of, you know, running around, blaming me... 966 00:50:09,107 --> 00:50:11,375 You know, given the nature of all this new shit, 967 00:50:11,376 --> 00:50:17,314 you know, this could be a lot more complex... 968 00:50:17,315 --> 00:50:22,353 I mean, it's not just... It might not be just such a simple... You know? 969 00:50:22,354 --> 00:50:25,956 What in God's holy name are you blathering about? 970 00:50:25,957 --> 00:50:28,392 Well, I'll tell you what I'm blathering about. 971 00:50:28,393 --> 00:50:30,427 I've got information, man. 972 00:50:30,428 --> 00:50:32,263 New shit has come to light. 973 00:50:32,264 --> 00:50:34,232 And, shit, man, 974 00:50:36,201 --> 00:50:38,101 she kidnapped herself. 975 00:50:41,139 --> 00:50:43,941 Well, sure, man. Look at it. You know? 976 00:50:43,942 --> 00:50:47,978 A young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know. 977 00:50:47,979 --> 00:50:53,145 She owes money all over town, including to known pornographers. 978 00:50:55,053 --> 00:50:57,317 And that's cool. That's cool. 979 00:50:58,189 --> 00:51:02,092 I'm saying she needs money, man. 980 00:51:02,093 --> 00:51:05,757 And, you know, of course they're gonna say they didn't get it 981 00:51:07,065 --> 00:51:09,967 because she wants more, man. 982 00:51:09,968 --> 00:51:12,403 She's gotta feed the monkey. I mean... 983 00:51:14,739 --> 00:51:17,908 Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? 984 00:51:17,909 --> 00:51:18,967 Sir? 985 00:51:21,146 --> 00:51:24,615 No, Mr. Lebowski, it had not occurred to me. 986 00:51:24,616 --> 00:51:26,917 That had not occurred to us, Dude. 987 00:51:26,918 --> 00:51:28,452 Well, okay, you know? 988 00:51:28,453 --> 00:51:33,057 You guys aren't privy to all the new shit, so, you know... 989 00:51:33,058 --> 00:51:36,527 But, hey, that's what you... That's what you pay me for. 990 00:51:36,528 --> 00:51:37,654 (CHUCKLES) 991 00:51:38,863 --> 00:51:40,064 Speaking of which, 992 00:51:40,065 --> 00:51:44,468 do you think that you could give me my $20,000 in cash? 993 00:51:44,469 --> 00:51:47,538 My concern is, and I've gotta check it with my accountant, 994 00:51:47,539 --> 00:51:50,341 that this might bump me up into a higher tax... 995 00:51:50,342 --> 00:51:52,936 Brandt, give him the envelope. 996 00:51:53,645 --> 00:51:57,715 Oh, well, if you've already got the check made out, that's cool. 997 00:51:57,716 --> 00:51:59,707 BRANDT: We received this this morning. 998 00:52:02,253 --> 00:52:05,723 Since you have failed to achieve, 999 00:52:05,724 --> 00:52:09,293 even in the modest task which was your charge, 1000 00:52:09,294 --> 00:52:12,563 since you have stolen my money, 1001 00:52:12,564 --> 00:52:16,333 since you have unrepentantly betrayed my trust, 1002 00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:20,371 I have no choice but to tell these bums 1003 00:52:20,372 --> 00:52:22,673 to do whatever is necessary 1004 00:52:22,674 --> 00:52:26,804 to recover their money from you, Jeffrey Lebowski. 1005 00:52:28,079 --> 00:52:32,216 And with Brandt as my witness, I will tell you this, 1006 00:52:32,217 --> 00:52:35,586 any further harm visited upon Bunny 1007 00:52:35,587 --> 00:52:39,182 will be visited tenfold upon your head. 1008 00:52:41,593 --> 00:52:43,026 By God, sir, 1009 00:52:43,561 --> 00:52:46,554 I will not abide another toe. 1010 00:52:47,198 --> 00:52:52,669 I hear the cottonwoods whispering above 1011 00:52:52,670 --> 00:52:54,798 That wasn't her toe, Dude. 1012 00:52:56,541 --> 00:52:59,676 Whose toe was it, Walter? How the fuck should I know? 1013 00:52:59,677 --> 00:53:03,247 I do know that nothing about it indicates... The nail polish, Walter. 1014 00:53:03,248 --> 00:53:04,648 Fine, Dude. 1015 00:53:04,649 --> 00:53:08,619 As if it's impossible to get some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe... 1016 00:53:08,620 --> 00:53:09,987 Someone else... Pinking shears. 1017 00:53:09,988 --> 00:53:11,422 Where the fuck are they gonna get... 1018 00:53:11,423 --> 00:53:14,291 You want a toe? I can get you a toe. 1019 00:53:14,292 --> 00:53:16,293 Believe me, there are ways, Dude. 1020 00:53:16,294 --> 00:53:18,629 You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Yeah, but, Walter... 1021 00:53:18,630 --> 00:53:22,132 Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon with nail polish. 1022 00:53:22,133 --> 00:53:24,134 These fucking amateurs. Walter... 1023 00:53:24,135 --> 00:53:27,037 They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. 1024 00:53:27,038 --> 00:53:28,705 Jesus Christ! Walter... 1025 00:53:28,706 --> 00:53:30,874 The point is... They're gonna kill her, Walter, 1026 00:53:30,875 --> 00:53:32,609 and then they're gonna kill me. 1027 00:53:32,610 --> 00:53:35,079 Dude, that's... 1028 00:53:36,381 --> 00:53:38,615 That's just the stress talking, man. 1029 00:53:38,616 --> 00:53:43,754 Now, so far we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes. 1030 00:53:43,755 --> 00:53:46,390 What about the toe? Forget about the fucking toe! 1031 00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:49,593 Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? 1032 00:53:49,594 --> 00:53:51,462 This is a family restaurant. 1033 00:53:51,463 --> 00:53:53,964 Oh, please! Dear, for your information, 1034 00:53:53,965 --> 00:53:56,867 the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint. 1035 00:53:56,868 --> 00:53:59,303 Come on. Walter, this is not a First Amendment thing, man. 1036 00:53:59,304 --> 00:54:02,573 Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 1037 00:54:02,574 --> 00:54:05,743 Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck 1038 00:54:05,744 --> 00:54:08,545 so that you and I can enjoy this family restaurant! 1039 00:54:08,546 --> 00:54:11,949 All right, I'm out of here. Hey, Dude, don't go away, man. 1040 00:54:11,950 --> 00:54:15,909 Come on. This affects all of us, man! lt's our basic freedoms! 1041 00:54:20,692 --> 00:54:22,125 I'm staying. 1042 00:54:24,329 --> 00:54:26,320 I'm finishing my coffee. 1043 00:54:31,202 --> 00:54:32,966 Enjoying my coffee. 1044 00:54:34,772 --> 00:54:36,866 (WHALE SONG PLAYING ON TAPE) 1045 00:54:39,077 --> 00:54:40,874 (PHONE RINGING) 1046 00:54:41,513 --> 00:54:42,980 (STIFLED COUGHING) 1047 00:54:48,086 --> 00:54:49,219 (ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKS) 1048 00:54:49,220 --> 00:54:51,455 DUDE ON MACHINE: The Dude is not in. 1049 00:54:51,456 --> 00:54:54,391 £eave a message after the beep. It takes a minute. 1050 00:54:54,392 --> 00:54:55,492 (BEEPS) 1051 00:54:55,493 --> 00:54:59,296 Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty O·ce· Rolvaag of the LAPD. 1052 00:54:59,297 --> 00:55:00,898 We've recovered your automobile. 1053 00:55:00,899 --> 00:55:04,268 It can be claimed at the North Hollywood Auto Circus there on Victory. 1054 00:55:04,269 --> 00:55:05,469 Their hours there are... 1055 00:55:05,470 --> 00:55:07,104 Far out, man. Far fucking out! 1056 00:55:07,105 --> 00:55:08,573 (BANGING) 1057 00:55:17,482 --> 00:55:20,850 Hey! This is a private residence, man. 1058 00:55:21,986 --> 00:55:23,886 (CHATTERING) 1059 00:55:29,260 --> 00:55:31,058 Oh, nice marmot. 1060 00:55:32,797 --> 00:55:34,288 (SNARLING) 1061 00:55:35,567 --> 00:55:36,800 (SHRIEKING) 1062 00:55:36,801 --> 00:55:38,394 (SQUEALING) 1063 00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:45,008 (WITH GERMAN ACCENT) Where is the money, Lebowski? We wants the money, Lebowski! 1064 00:55:45,009 --> 00:55:46,477 (SHRIEKING) 1065 00:55:49,247 --> 00:55:50,948 (PANICKED STAMMERING) 1066 00:55:50,949 --> 00:55:54,218 You think we are kidding or making with the funny stuff? 1067 00:55:54,219 --> 00:55:56,653 We could do things you haven't dreamed of, Lebowski. 1068 00:55:56,654 --> 00:56:00,657 Ja, we believes in nothing. We believes in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing! 1069 00:56:00,658 --> 00:56:04,061 And tomorrow we come back and we cut off yourjohnson. 1070 00:56:04,062 --> 00:56:07,397 Excuse me? I said, we cut off yourjohnson! 1071 00:56:07,398 --> 00:56:09,900 Just think about that, Lebowski. 1072 00:56:09,901 --> 00:56:11,902 Your wiggly penis, Lebowski. 1073 00:56:11,903 --> 00:56:14,235 Ja. Maybe we stomp on it and squish it. 1074 00:56:16,975 --> 00:56:18,670 (GLASS SHATTERS) 1075 00:56:20,812 --> 00:56:21,972 (SIGHS) 1076 00:56:23,214 --> 00:56:27,718 MAN: It was discovered last night in Van Nuys lodged against an abutment. 1077 00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:29,586 DUDE: Oh, man. Lodged where? 1078 00:56:29,587 --> 00:56:31,955 You're lucky she didn't get chopped, Mr. Lebowski. 1079 00:56:31,956 --> 00:56:34,458 Oh, man! Must've been a joyride situation. 1080 00:56:34,459 --> 00:56:37,094 They abandoned the vehicle once they hit the retaining wall. 1081 00:56:37,095 --> 00:56:40,530 Oh, my fucking briefcase, man! It's not here! Shit! 1082 00:56:40,531 --> 00:56:42,299 Yeah, I saw that on the report. Sorry. 1083 00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:44,325 You gotta get in on the other side. 1084 00:56:45,370 --> 00:56:48,533 The side view was found on the road by the car. 1085 00:56:50,108 --> 00:56:54,044 You're lucky they left the tape deck though, and the Creedence. 1086 00:56:54,412 --> 00:56:57,114 Oh, Jesus! What's that smell, man? 1087 00:56:57,115 --> 00:57:00,250 Yeah. It's probably a vagrant slept in the car. 1088 00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:03,086 Or maybe just used it as a toilet and moved on. 1089 00:57:03,087 --> 00:57:04,350 Hey, man, 1090 00:57:05,657 --> 00:57:07,391 are you gonna find these guys? 1091 00:57:07,392 --> 00:57:11,920 Or, you know, I mean... You got any promising leads or... 1092 00:57:12,230 --> 00:57:13,864 Leads? 1093 00:57:13,865 --> 00:57:15,532 Yeah. Sure. 1094 00:57:15,533 --> 00:57:18,869 I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. 1095 00:57:18,870 --> 00:57:22,773 They got four more detectives working on the case. 1096 00:57:22,774 --> 00:57:24,401 They got us working in shifts! 1097 00:57:26,778 --> 00:57:29,008 (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 1098 00:57:29,881 --> 00:57:31,041 Leads! 1099 00:57:31,849 --> 00:57:34,351 DUDE: My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me 1100 00:57:34,352 --> 00:57:36,153 before the Germans can cut my dick off. 1101 00:57:36,154 --> 00:57:37,387 Leads! 1102 00:57:37,388 --> 00:57:39,122 Now, that is just ridiculous, Dude. 1103 00:57:39,123 --> 00:57:40,958 No one's going to cut your dick off. 1104 00:57:40,959 --> 00:57:43,560 Thank you, Walter. Not if I have anything to say about it. 1105 00:57:43,561 --> 00:57:44,695 Thank you, Walter. 1106 00:57:44,696 --> 00:57:46,830 That makes me feel very secure. Dude? 1107 00:57:46,831 --> 00:57:49,833 That makes me feel very warm inside, man. Dude? 1108 00:57:49,834 --> 00:57:52,669 This whole fucking thing. 1109 00:57:52,670 --> 00:57:56,006 I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my rug. 1110 00:57:56,007 --> 00:57:59,343 But no, man, I got a, you know... Yeah. Fucking Germans. 1111 00:57:59,344 --> 00:58:00,504 Nothing changes. 1112 00:58:01,579 --> 00:58:05,248 Fucking Nazis. They were Nazis, Dude? 1113 00:58:05,249 --> 00:58:07,884 Oh, come on, Donny. They were threatening castration! 1114 00:58:07,885 --> 00:58:09,820 Uh-huh. Are we gonna split hairs here? 1115 00:58:09,821 --> 00:58:11,221 No. Am I wrong? 1116 00:58:11,222 --> 00:58:14,624 Well, he didn't... Man, they were nihilists, man. 1117 00:58:14,625 --> 00:58:17,260 They kept saying they believed in nothing. 1118 00:58:17,261 --> 00:58:18,593 Nihilists. 1119 00:58:20,298 --> 00:58:21,595 Fuck me. 1120 00:58:23,301 --> 00:58:26,536 I mean, say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. 1121 00:58:26,537 --> 00:58:28,939 At least it's an ethos. Yeah. 1122 00:58:28,940 --> 00:58:31,708 And, also, let's not forget... Let's not forget, Dude, 1123 00:58:31,709 --> 00:58:34,745 that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, 1124 00:58:34,746 --> 00:58:38,382 for, you know, domestic... 1125 00:58:38,383 --> 00:58:40,146 Within the city... 1126 00:58:40,952 --> 00:58:44,087 That ain't legal, either. What are you, a fucking park ranger now? 1127 00:58:44,088 --> 00:58:45,756 No! I'm just trying to... 1128 00:58:45,757 --> 00:58:48,625 Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot? 1129 00:58:48,626 --> 00:58:51,895 We are sympathizing here, Dude. Fuck sympathy. 1130 00:58:51,896 --> 00:58:55,833 I don't need your fucking sympathy, man. I need my fucking johnson. 1131 00:58:56,801 --> 00:59:00,070 What do you need that for, Dude? You have got to buck up, man! 1132 00:59:00,071 --> 00:59:02,973 You cannot drag this negative energy into the tournament. 1133 00:59:02,974 --> 00:59:05,636 Fuck the tournament. Fuck you, Walter. 1134 00:59:08,346 --> 00:59:10,414 Fuck the tournament? 1135 00:59:10,415 --> 00:59:13,517 Okay, Dude. I can see you don't want to be cheered up here. 1136 00:59:13,518 --> 00:59:15,987 Come on, Donny. Let's go get us a lane. 1137 00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:23,621 Another Caucasian, Gary. Right, Dude. 1138 00:59:26,164 --> 00:59:29,463 Friends like these, huh, Gary? That's right, Dude. 1139 00:59:31,235 --> 00:59:33,795 (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 1140 00:59:37,075 --> 00:59:42,138 See them tumbling down 1141 00:59:43,114 --> 00:59:48,314 Pledging their love to the ground 1142 00:59:49,020 --> 00:59:53,390 Lonely, but free, I'll be found 1143 00:59:53,391 --> 00:59:57,794 You got a good sarsaparilla? Sioux City Sarsaparilla? 1144 00:59:57,795 --> 00:59:59,764 Yeah. That's a good one. 1145 01:00:02,867 --> 01:00:05,235 How're you doing there, Dude? 1146 01:00:05,236 --> 01:00:07,329 Not too good, man. 1147 01:00:07,939 --> 01:00:10,339 One of those days, huh? Yeah. 1148 01:00:11,542 --> 01:00:16,413 Well, a wiser fellow than myself once said, 1149 01:00:16,414 --> 01:00:18,281 "Sometimes you eat the bear and..." 1150 01:00:18,282 --> 01:00:19,716 (GLASS SETTLING) 1151 01:00:19,717 --> 01:00:21,918 Much obliged. 1152 01:00:21,919 --> 01:00:25,754 "Sometimes the bear, well, he eats you." 1153 01:00:27,458 --> 01:00:30,260 That some kind of Eastern thing? 1154 01:00:30,261 --> 01:00:31,695 Far from it. 1155 01:00:38,402 --> 01:00:40,394 I like your style, Dude. 1156 01:00:41,672 --> 01:00:45,742 Oh, well, I dig your style, too, man. 1157 01:00:45,743 --> 01:00:48,041 Got a whole cowboy thing going. 1158 01:00:52,450 --> 01:00:53,984 Thank you. 1159 01:00:53,985 --> 01:00:55,986 There's just one thing, Dude. 1160 01:00:55,987 --> 01:00:57,821 What's that? 1161 01:00:57,822 --> 01:01:00,450 Do you have to use so many cuss words? 1162 01:01:03,861 --> 01:01:06,160 What the fuck are you talking about? 1163 01:01:07,431 --> 01:01:09,900 Okay, Dude. Have it your way. 1164 01:01:12,203 --> 01:01:14,604 Take her easy, Dude. 1165 01:01:14,605 --> 01:01:16,266 Yeah. Thanks, man. 1166 01:01:16,507 --> 01:01:18,498 (MAN WHISTLING ON STEREO) 1167 01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,009 Call for you, Dude. 1168 01:01:27,685 --> 01:01:31,521 Hello? MAUDE: Jeffrey, you have not gone to the doctor. 1169 01:01:31,522 --> 01:01:34,691 Oh, yeah, no. No, I haven't yet. 1170 01:01:34,692 --> 01:01:37,184 I'd like to see you immediately. 1171 01:01:38,095 --> 01:01:39,119 Oh? 1172 01:01:51,809 --> 01:01:55,109 So, you're Lebowski. Yeah. 1173 01:01:57,982 --> 01:02:00,217 Maude has told me all about you. 1174 01:02:00,218 --> 01:02:02,652 She'll be back in a minute. Sit down. 1175 01:02:03,087 --> 01:02:06,079 Do you want a drink? Yeah, sure. White Russian. 1176 01:02:07,058 --> 01:02:08,855 The bar's over there. 1177 01:02:13,698 --> 01:02:17,834 So, what do you do, Lebowski? Who the fuck are you, man? 1178 01:02:17,835 --> 01:02:18,962 (GIGGLING) 1179 01:02:19,270 --> 01:02:23,206 Just a friend of Maudie's. Yeah? The friend with the cleft asshole? 1180 01:02:23,207 --> 01:02:24,607 (GIGGLING) 1181 01:02:26,277 --> 01:02:28,912 What do you do? Oh, nothing much. 1182 01:02:28,913 --> 01:02:30,046 (GIGGLING) 1183 01:02:30,047 --> 01:02:32,048 Hello, Jeffrey. Hello. 1184 01:02:32,049 --> 01:02:34,917 Yeah. How are you? Listen, Maude. 1185 01:02:35,653 --> 01:02:37,212 I got to 1186 01:02:39,523 --> 01:02:41,925 tender my resignation or whatever 1187 01:02:41,926 --> 01:02:46,997 because looks like your mother really was kidnapped after all. 1188 01:02:46,998 --> 01:02:49,132 She most certainly was not. 1189 01:02:49,133 --> 01:02:54,270 Hey, man, why don't you fucking listen occasionally? 1190 01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:56,973 You might learn something. Now, I got... 1191 01:02:56,974 --> 01:02:59,809 (KNOX GIGGLING) Please don't call her my mother. 1192 01:02:59,810 --> 01:03:02,712 She's most definitely the perpetrator and not the victim. 1193 01:03:02,713 --> 01:03:05,649 I'm telling you, I've got pretty definitive evidence. 1194 01:03:05,650 --> 01:03:08,551 From who? From the main guy, Uli. 1195 01:03:08,552 --> 01:03:11,920 Uli Kunkel? Her costar in the beaver picture? 1196 01:03:13,591 --> 01:03:16,760 You mean vagina? I mean, you know the guy? 1197 01:03:16,761 --> 01:03:19,663 I might have introduced them, for all I know. 1198 01:03:19,664 --> 01:03:21,898 Do you remember Uli? 1199 01:03:21,899 --> 01:03:24,768 He's a musician. Used to have a group, Autobahn. 1200 01:03:24,769 --> 01:03:29,372 Look in my LP's. They released one album in the late '70s. 1201 01:03:29,373 --> 01:03:32,442 MAUDE: Their music is sort of a techno pop. 1202 01:03:32,443 --> 01:03:35,912 So he's pretending to be the abductor? Well, yeah. 1203 01:03:35,913 --> 01:03:39,382 Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap someone you're acquainted with. 1204 01:03:39,383 --> 01:03:43,987 The whole idea is that the hostage can't identify you after you've let them go. 1205 01:03:43,988 --> 01:03:45,755 Well, I know that. 1206 01:03:45,756 --> 01:03:47,417 (GIGGLES) 1207 01:03:49,860 --> 01:03:52,595 What the fuck is with this guy? Who is he? 1208 01:03:52,596 --> 01:03:56,199 Knox Harrington, the video artist. 1209 01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:58,100 So, Uli has the money. 1210 01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:02,864 Well, no, not exactly. 1211 01:04:03,741 --> 01:04:05,642 This is a very complicated case, Maude. 1212 01:04:05,643 --> 01:04:07,744 (PHONE RINGING) You know, a lot of ins, a lot of outs, 1213 01:04:07,745 --> 01:04:08,978 a lot of what-have-yous 1214 01:04:08,979 --> 01:04:11,648 and a lot of strands to keep in my head, man. 1215 01:04:11,649 --> 01:04:14,184 You know, a lot of strands in the old Duder's head. 1216 01:04:14,185 --> 01:04:15,452 Hello? 1217 01:04:15,453 --> 01:04:17,420 If Uli doesn't have it, then who does? 1218 01:04:17,421 --> 01:04:19,422 It's Sandra about the Biennale. 1219 01:04:19,423 --> 01:04:23,026 Look. I have to take this. Do you still have that doctor's number? 1220 01:04:23,027 --> 01:04:26,663 No, really, it's not even bruised anymore. Oh, please, Jeffrey. 1221 01:04:26,664 --> 01:04:29,833 I don't want to be responsible for any delayed aftereffects. 1222 01:04:29,834 --> 01:04:31,734 (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1223 01:04:32,269 --> 01:04:33,896 Aftereffects? 1224 01:04:47,251 --> 01:04:49,618 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 1225 01:05:03,367 --> 01:05:06,736 Could you slide your shorts down, Mr. Lebowski, please? 1226 01:05:06,737 --> 01:05:07,795 Mmm? 1227 01:05:08,139 --> 01:05:10,206 No, no, man. She hit me right here. 1228 01:05:10,207 --> 01:05:13,871 I understand. Could you slide your shorts down, please? 1229 01:05:15,946 --> 01:05:18,848 (LOOKIN' OUT MY BACK DOOR PLAYING ON STEREO) 1230 01:05:24,989 --> 01:05:27,357 Just got home from lllinois 1231 01:05:27,358 --> 01:05:29,626 Locked the front door, oh, boy 1232 01:05:29,627 --> 01:05:33,825 Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch 1233 01:05:34,198 --> 01:05:36,466 Imagination sets in 1234 01:05:36,467 --> 01:05:38,768 Pretty soon I'm singin' 1235 01:05:38,769 --> 01:05:40,670 Doo, doo, doo 1236 01:05:40,671 --> 01:05:42,839 Looking out my back door 1237 01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:45,642 Keeping mighty cool. There's a giant doing cartwheels 1238 01:05:45,643 --> 01:05:47,977 A statue wearing high heels 1239 01:05:47,978 --> 01:05:50,313 Look at all the happy creatures 1240 01:05:50,314 --> 01:05:52,649 Dancing on the lawn 1241 01:05:52,650 --> 01:05:57,120 A dinosaur Victrola listening to Buck Owens 1242 01:05:57,121 --> 01:05:59,189 (SQUEALING) Doo, doo, doo 1243 01:05:59,190 --> 01:06:01,283 Looking out my back door 1244 01:06:01,759 --> 01:06:06,060 (HORN HONKING) Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band 1245 01:06:07,565 --> 01:06:08,832 Doo, doo, doo 1246 01:06:08,833 --> 01:06:12,792 Wondrous apparition provided by magician 1247 01:06:13,237 --> 01:06:15,171 Doo, doo, doo 1248 01:06:15,172 --> 01:06:17,835 Looking out my back door 1249 01:06:36,060 --> 01:06:40,430 Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band 1250 01:06:40,431 --> 01:06:43,933 Won't you take a ride on the flying spoon? 1251 01:06:43,934 --> 01:06:45,435 Doo, doo, doo 1252 01:06:45,436 --> 01:06:47,270 Bother me tomorrow 1253 01:06:47,271 --> 01:06:49,806 Today I'll buy no sorrows 1254 01:06:49,807 --> 01:06:51,307 Doo, doo, doo 1255 01:06:51,308 --> 01:06:54,107 Looking out my back door 1256 01:07:00,985 --> 01:07:03,112 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1257 01:07:46,463 --> 01:07:50,033 He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the ln-N-Out Burger. 1258 01:07:50,034 --> 01:07:52,268 No, the ln-N-Out Burger's on Camrose. 1259 01:07:52,269 --> 01:07:54,771 Near the ln-N-Out Burger. Those are good burgers, Walter. 1260 01:07:54,772 --> 01:07:57,740 Shut the fuck up, Donny. The kid is in the ninth grade, Dude. 1261 01:07:57,741 --> 01:08:00,443 And his father is... Are you ready for this? 1262 01:08:00,444 --> 01:08:03,880 His father is Arthur Digby Sellers. 1263 01:08:03,881 --> 01:08:05,548 Who the fuck is that? 1264 01:08:05,549 --> 01:08:08,685 Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers? Who the... 1265 01:08:08,686 --> 01:08:11,120 Have you ever heard of a little show called Branded, Dude? 1266 01:08:11,121 --> 01:08:12,255 Yes, yes, l... 1267 01:08:12,256 --> 01:08:14,324 "All but one man died there at Bitter Creek." 1268 01:08:14,325 --> 01:08:16,659 I know the fucking show, Walter. So what? 1269 01:08:16,660 --> 01:08:20,797 Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 156 episodes, Dude. 1270 01:08:20,798 --> 01:08:22,598 The bulk of the series. 1271 01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:23,700 Oh. 1272 01:08:23,701 --> 01:08:26,369 Not exactly a lightweight. No. 1273 01:08:26,370 --> 01:08:28,668 And yet his son is a fucking dunce. 1274 01:08:30,207 --> 01:08:32,976 Anyway, we'll go there after the what-have-you. 1275 01:08:32,977 --> 01:08:34,744 We'll brace the kid. Should be a pushover. 1276 01:08:34,745 --> 01:08:36,045 We'll be near the ln-N-Out Burger. 1277 01:08:36,046 --> 01:08:37,246 Shut the fuck up, Donny! 1278 01:08:37,247 --> 01:08:38,408 (MAN SHUSHING) 1279 01:08:39,450 --> 01:08:42,752 We'll go out there, we'll brace the kid. He should be a pushover. 1280 01:08:42,753 --> 01:08:44,954 We'll get that fucking million dollars back, 1281 01:08:44,955 --> 01:08:47,156 if he hasn't spent it already. 1282 01:08:47,157 --> 01:08:49,292 A million fucking clams. 1283 01:08:49,293 --> 01:08:52,956 And, yes, we'll be near the... ln-N-Out. 1284 01:08:53,364 --> 01:08:56,800 Shh! Shh! Some burgers, some beers. A few laughs. 1285 01:08:59,503 --> 01:09:01,801 Our fucking troubles are over, Dude. 1286 01:09:14,284 --> 01:09:17,353 Oh, fuck me, man. 1287 01:09:17,354 --> 01:09:20,223 That kid's already spent all the money, man. 1288 01:09:20,224 --> 01:09:22,558 New Vette? Hardly, Dude. 1289 01:09:22,559 --> 01:09:27,930 I'd say he still has $060,000, $070,000 left, depending on the options. 1290 01:09:28,632 --> 01:09:29,699 Wait in the car, Donny. 1291 01:09:29,700 --> 01:09:30,997 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1292 01:09:33,804 --> 01:09:35,795 WOMAN: Yes? Pilar? 1293 01:09:37,007 --> 01:09:41,137 My name is Walter Sobchak. This is my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski. 1294 01:09:42,546 --> 01:09:44,947 We came to talk about little Larry. 1295 01:09:44,948 --> 01:09:47,083 May we come in? Yes, yes. 1296 01:09:47,084 --> 01:09:48,415 Thank you. 1297 01:09:52,756 --> 01:09:54,383 That's him, Dude. 1298 01:09:55,926 --> 01:09:57,519 (MACHINERY HUMMING) 1299 01:10:01,932 --> 01:10:04,500 And a good day to you, sir! 1300 01:10:04,501 --> 01:10:06,492 Sit down, please. 1301 01:10:11,909 --> 01:10:14,811 Larry, sweetie, the man is here! 1302 01:10:14,812 --> 01:10:17,713 Is he... Does he still write? 1303 01:10:17,714 --> 01:10:20,843 Oh, no, no. He has health problems. 1304 01:10:21,018 --> 01:10:22,212 Uh-huh. 1305 01:10:23,954 --> 01:10:26,013 Sir, I just want to say 1306 01:10:27,024 --> 01:10:29,493 that we're both, on a personal level, 1307 01:10:30,961 --> 01:10:33,029 really enormous fans. 1308 01:10:33,030 --> 01:10:36,265 Branded, especially the early episodes, 1309 01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:38,468 was truly a source of inspiration. 1310 01:10:38,469 --> 01:10:41,370 PILAR: Sweetie, sit down. This man is the police. 1311 01:10:41,371 --> 01:10:45,041 Oh, no, ma'am. We didn't want to give the impression that we were police, exactly. 1312 01:10:45,042 --> 01:10:47,877 We're hoping it won't be necessary to call the police. 1313 01:10:47,878 --> 01:10:50,413 But that's up to little Larry here. 1314 01:10:50,414 --> 01:10:52,041 Isn't it, Larry? 1315 01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:05,054 Is this your homework, Larry? 1316 01:11:06,497 --> 01:11:08,798 Is this your homework, Larry? Look, man, it... 1317 01:11:08,799 --> 01:11:12,268 Dude. Please? Is this your homework, Larry? 1318 01:11:12,269 --> 01:11:13,736 Just ask him about the car, man. 1319 01:11:13,737 --> 01:11:16,139 Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry? 1320 01:11:16,140 --> 01:11:17,406 Is that your car out front? 1321 01:11:17,407 --> 01:11:20,443 Is this your homework, Larry? We know it's his fucking homework! 1322 01:11:20,444 --> 01:11:22,778 Where's the fucking money, you little brat? 1323 01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:25,915 Look, Larry, have you ever heard of Vietnam? 1324 01:11:25,916 --> 01:11:28,284 For Christ's sake, Walter. You are entering a world of pain, son. 1325 01:11:28,285 --> 01:11:31,053 We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole the car. 1326 01:11:31,054 --> 01:11:33,656 And the fucking money. And the fucking money! 1327 01:11:33,657 --> 01:11:35,424 And we know that this is your homework! 1328 01:11:35,425 --> 01:11:36,726 We're gonna cut your dick off, Larry. 1329 01:11:36,727 --> 01:11:38,695 You're killing your father, Larry. 1330 01:11:41,865 --> 01:11:43,959 All right. This is pointless. 1331 01:11:45,269 --> 01:11:47,931 Okay, time for Plan B. 1332 01:11:50,174 --> 01:11:53,143 You might want to watch out that front window, Larry. 1333 01:11:54,411 --> 01:11:57,813 Son, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! 1334 01:11:59,483 --> 01:12:01,517 A little language problem here. 1335 01:12:01,518 --> 01:12:03,885 Little prick's stonewalling me. 1336 01:12:04,755 --> 01:12:06,314 Walter. 1337 01:12:07,024 --> 01:12:09,015 What are you doing, man? 1338 01:12:11,662 --> 01:12:13,459 What are you doing? 1339 01:12:14,798 --> 01:12:16,532 Here you go, Larry. 1340 01:12:16,533 --> 01:12:18,601 You see what happens? 1341 01:12:18,602 --> 01:12:20,661 You see what happens, Larry? 1342 01:12:21,405 --> 01:12:23,339 You see what happens? Oh, great. 1343 01:12:23,340 --> 01:12:26,901 This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry. 1344 01:12:29,980 --> 01:12:31,681 This is what happens, Larry. 1345 01:12:31,682 --> 01:12:33,583 You see what happens, Larry? 1346 01:12:33,584 --> 01:12:36,152 You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass? 1347 01:12:36,153 --> 01:12:38,487 This is what happens! 1348 01:12:38,488 --> 01:12:40,690 (GLASS SHATTERING) You see what happens, Larry? 1349 01:12:40,691 --> 01:12:43,159 You see what happens, Larry? 1350 01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:46,858 Do you see what happens, Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass? 1351 01:12:48,098 --> 01:12:49,732 This is what happens, Larry! 1352 01:12:49,733 --> 01:12:51,500 This is what happens, Larry! 1353 01:12:51,501 --> 01:12:54,303 MAN: My car! My baby! This is what happens, Larry! 1354 01:12:54,304 --> 01:12:56,372 This is what happens when you fuck a stranger... 1355 01:12:56,373 --> 01:12:59,175 What the fuck are you doing, man? Stop it! 1356 01:12:59,176 --> 01:13:01,744 Hey, man. I just bought that fucking car last week! 1357 01:13:01,745 --> 01:13:04,881 Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry! I'm gonna fucking kill you! 1358 01:13:04,882 --> 01:13:08,084 I just bought the fucking car last week! Come on, man. 1359 01:13:08,085 --> 01:13:10,019 I'll kill your fucking car, man! 1360 01:13:10,020 --> 01:13:12,121 No, no. Hey, hey, that's not his! Hey! 1361 01:13:12,122 --> 01:13:14,657 God damn it! Whoa! Oh, no! 1362 01:13:14,658 --> 01:13:16,559 MAN: Fuck you! Man. No. 1363 01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:19,128 You like that? Fuck you! 1364 01:13:19,129 --> 01:13:22,698 I'll kill your fucking car! DUDE: No. No, no. No. 1365 01:13:22,699 --> 01:13:24,700 I'll kill your fucking car! 1366 01:13:24,701 --> 01:13:27,569 (SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 1367 01:13:45,622 --> 01:13:47,522 I accept your apology. 1368 01:13:48,725 --> 01:13:52,184 No, I just want to handle it by myself from now on. 1369 01:13:53,430 --> 01:13:55,564 No. No. No! 1370 01:13:55,565 --> 01:13:57,363 That has nothing to do with it. 1371 01:13:58,769 --> 01:14:02,136 Yes, the car made it home. You're calling me at home. 1372 01:14:03,774 --> 01:14:08,507 No, Walter, it did not look like Larry was about to crack! 1373 01:14:10,714 --> 01:14:12,739 Well, that's your perception. 1374 01:14:14,451 --> 01:14:17,186 You know, Walter, you're right. 1375 01:14:17,187 --> 01:14:19,221 There is an unspoken message here. 1376 01:14:19,222 --> 01:14:21,657 lt's, "Fuck you! Leave me the fuck alone!" 1377 01:14:24,594 --> 01:14:26,426 Yeah, I'll be at practice. 1378 01:14:44,014 --> 01:14:45,915 Pin your diapers on, Lebowski. 1379 01:14:45,916 --> 01:14:47,783 Jackie Treehorn wants to see you. 1380 01:14:47,784 --> 01:14:50,720 Jackie Treehorn knows which Lebowski you are, Lebowski. 1381 01:14:50,721 --> 01:14:53,656 Jackie Treehorn wants to see the deadbeat Lebowski. 1382 01:14:53,657 --> 01:14:55,523 You're not dealing with morons here. 1383 01:14:57,094 --> 01:14:59,654 (MAN CHANTING) 1384 01:15:43,573 --> 01:15:46,642 Hello, Dude. Thanks for coming. 1385 01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:48,338 I'm Jackie Treehorn. 1386 01:15:51,248 --> 01:15:54,049 This is quite a pad you got here, man. 1387 01:15:54,050 --> 01:15:56,118 Completely unspoiled. 1388 01:15:56,119 --> 01:15:59,351 What's your drink, Dude? A White Russian. Thanks. 1389 01:16:00,223 --> 01:16:01,520 White Russian. 1390 01:16:02,125 --> 01:16:06,195 How's the smut business, Jackie? I wouldn't know, Dude. 1391 01:16:06,196 --> 01:16:11,667 I deal in publishing, entertainment, political advocacy. 1392 01:16:11,668 --> 01:16:15,037 Which one's Logjammin'? Yes, regrettably, it's true. 1393 01:16:15,038 --> 01:16:17,940 Standards have fallen in adult entertainment. 1394 01:16:17,941 --> 01:16:19,568 It's video, Dude. 1395 01:16:20,410 --> 01:16:22,311 Now that we're competing with those amateurs, 1396 01:16:22,312 --> 01:16:25,839 we can't afford to invest in little extras like story, 1397 01:16:26,716 --> 01:16:29,618 production value, feelings. 1398 01:16:31,388 --> 01:16:36,587 You know, people forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone. 1399 01:16:37,227 --> 01:16:38,894 On you maybe. 1400 01:16:38,895 --> 01:16:40,896 Of course, you have to take the good with the bad. 1401 01:16:40,897 --> 01:16:43,866 New technology permits us to do very exciting things 1402 01:16:43,867 --> 01:16:46,669 in interactive erotic software. 1403 01:16:46,670 --> 01:16:50,766 Wave of the future, Dude. 100% electronic. 1404 01:16:52,109 --> 01:16:54,703 Well, I still jerk off manually. 1405 01:16:54,945 --> 01:16:56,242 (CHUCKLES) 1406 01:16:57,013 --> 01:17:01,484 Of course you do. I can see you're anxious for me to get to the point. 1407 01:17:01,485 --> 01:17:04,286 Well, here it is, Dude. 1408 01:17:04,287 --> 01:17:05,921 Where's Bunny? 1409 01:17:05,922 --> 01:17:08,591 Well, I thought you might know that, man. Why would l? 1410 01:17:08,592 --> 01:17:12,928 She only ran off to get away from that rather sizable debt to me. 1411 01:17:12,929 --> 01:17:15,397 No, she didn't run off. She's been... 1412 01:17:15,398 --> 01:17:17,600 I heard that kidnapping story, so save it. 1413 01:17:17,601 --> 01:17:19,592 I know you're mixed up in all this, Dude. 1414 01:17:21,204 --> 01:17:24,406 And I don't care what you're trying to get from the husband. 1415 01:17:24,407 --> 01:17:26,008 That's your business. 1416 01:17:26,009 --> 01:17:29,912 All I'm saying is I want mine. 1417 01:17:29,913 --> 01:17:31,247 Yeah, right, man. 1418 01:17:31,248 --> 01:17:35,251 I mean, there are a lot of facets to this, 1419 01:17:35,252 --> 01:17:37,152 (PHONE RINGING) a lot of interested parties. 1420 01:17:37,554 --> 01:17:38,885 Excuse me. 1421 01:17:44,594 --> 01:17:45,687 Yeah? 1422 01:17:46,663 --> 01:17:47,897 Oh, yeah? 1423 01:17:47,898 --> 01:17:49,331 Where is that? 1424 01:17:52,969 --> 01:17:55,063 All right. Yeah. 1425 01:17:58,074 --> 01:17:59,406 Excuse me. 1426 01:18:26,970 --> 01:18:28,199 (DOOR CLOSES) 1427 01:18:34,911 --> 01:18:38,647 Forgive me. No problemo, man. 1428 01:18:38,648 --> 01:18:43,017 So, if I can find your money, 1429 01:18:44,788 --> 01:18:46,755 what's in it for the Dude? 1430 01:18:46,756 --> 01:18:49,992 Well, of course, there's that to discuss. You want a refill? 1431 01:18:49,993 --> 01:18:53,562 Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods? 10% finder's fee. 1432 01:18:53,563 --> 01:18:56,999 That all right? Okay. Done, Jackie. 1433 01:18:57,968 --> 01:19:00,369 I dig the way you do business, man. 1434 01:19:00,370 --> 01:19:04,073 Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. 1435 01:19:04,074 --> 01:19:06,804 He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, 1436 01:19:08,011 --> 01:19:10,613 by the ln-N-Out Burger. 1437 01:19:10,614 --> 01:19:11,747 Fucking brat. 1438 01:19:11,748 --> 01:19:15,946 But I'm sure your goons can get it off him. I mean, he's 15. 1439 01:19:18,221 --> 01:19:20,155 Flunking social studies. 1440 01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:26,495 So, if you could just 1441 01:19:26,496 --> 01:19:30,899 write me a check for my 10% of half a million, 1442 01:19:30,900 --> 01:19:33,961 5 grand, I'll go out and mingle. 1443 01:19:35,739 --> 01:19:36,899 (CHUCKLES) 1444 01:19:38,441 --> 01:19:40,876 You mix a hell of a Caucasian, Jackie. 1445 01:19:42,412 --> 01:19:44,471 (ECHOING) Fifteen-year-old kid. 1446 01:19:45,215 --> 01:19:49,242 Is this some sort of a joke? No. No joke. 1447 01:19:51,021 --> 01:19:54,223 No funny stuff, Jackie. The kid's got it. 1448 01:19:54,224 --> 01:19:55,384 Hi, fellas. 1449 01:19:58,128 --> 01:19:59,755 Kid just wanted a car. 1450 01:20:03,033 --> 01:20:06,435 All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back. 1451 01:20:06,903 --> 01:20:08,268 Not greedy. 1452 01:20:09,906 --> 01:20:11,306 It really 1453 01:20:12,942 --> 01:20:14,638 tied the room together. 1454 01:20:17,614 --> 01:20:20,849 MAN: Darkness washed over the Dude. 1455 01:20:20,850 --> 01:20:25,345 Darker than a black steer's tokus on a moonless prairie night. 1456 01:20:26,323 --> 01:20:29,087 There was no bottom. 1457 01:20:43,206 --> 01:20:45,708 Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah 1458 01:20:45,709 --> 01:20:49,304 What condition my condition was in 1459 01:20:51,314 --> 01:20:56,650 I woke up this morning with the sundown shining in 1460 01:20:59,656 --> 01:21:04,992 I found my mind in a brown paper bag within 1461 01:21:07,864 --> 01:21:12,201 I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high 1462 01:21:12,202 --> 01:21:16,338 I tore my mind on a jagged sky 1463 01:21:16,339 --> 01:21:18,140 I just dropped in 1464 01:21:18,141 --> 01:21:22,339 To see what condition my condition was in 1465 01:21:22,712 --> 01:21:25,447 Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah 1466 01:21:25,448 --> 01:21:28,748 What condition my condition was in 1467 01:21:34,991 --> 01:21:38,694 I pushed my soul in a deep, dark hole 1468 01:21:38,695 --> 01:21:41,357 And then I followed it in 1469 01:21:43,266 --> 01:21:46,468 I watched myself crawlin' out 1470 01:21:46,469 --> 01:21:50,338 As I was a-crawlin' in 1471 01:21:50,974 --> 01:21:53,542 I got up so tight 1472 01:21:53,543 --> 01:21:55,744 I couldn't unwind 1473 01:21:55,745 --> 01:21:59,948 I saw so much I broke my mind 1474 01:21:59,949 --> 01:22:01,884 I just dropped in 1475 01:22:01,885 --> 01:22:05,582 To see what condition my condition was in 1476 01:22:14,531 --> 01:22:17,232 Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah 1477 01:22:17,233 --> 01:22:20,465 What condition my condition was in 1478 01:22:26,342 --> 01:22:30,245 Someone painted "April Fool" 1479 01:22:30,246 --> 01:22:32,840 In big, black letters on a "Dead End" sign 1480 01:22:34,484 --> 01:22:38,954 I had my foot on the gas as I left the road 1481 01:22:38,955 --> 01:22:42,516 And blew out my mind 1482 01:22:43,026 --> 01:22:47,529 Eight miles out of Memphis and I got no spare 1483 01:22:47,530 --> 01:22:51,433 Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere 1484 01:22:51,768 --> 01:22:53,735 I just dropped in 1485 01:22:53,736 --> 01:22:58,071 To see what condition my condition was in 1486 01:22:59,509 --> 01:23:01,910 I said I just dropped in 1487 01:23:01,911 --> 01:23:06,076 To see what condition my condition was in 1488 01:23:06,483 --> 01:23:09,651 Yeah, yeah 1489 01:23:09,652 --> 01:23:15,921 O£, yeah 1490 01:23:36,913 --> 01:23:38,574 (WHIMPERING) 1491 01:24:05,508 --> 01:24:07,340 (SIREN WAILING) 1492 01:24:10,113 --> 01:24:13,515 (SINGING) He was innocent 1493 01:24:14,450 --> 01:24:18,080 Not a charge was true 1494 01:24:18,788 --> 01:24:24,352 And they say he ran away branded 1495 01:24:24,561 --> 01:24:25,892 (GRUNTING) 1496 01:24:37,740 --> 01:24:39,572 Is this your only lD? 1497 01:24:40,376 --> 01:24:42,276 I know my rights, man. 1498 01:24:44,414 --> 01:24:46,248 You don't know shit, Lebowski. 1499 01:24:46,249 --> 01:24:49,017 I want a fucking lawyer, man. 1500 01:24:49,018 --> 01:24:53,183 I want Bill Kunstler, man, 1501 01:24:54,691 --> 01:24:56,491 or Ron Kuby. 1502 01:24:56,492 --> 01:24:59,761 Mr. Treehorn tells us that he had to eject you 1503 01:24:59,762 --> 01:25:01,753 from his garden party, 1504 01:25:02,198 --> 01:25:04,199 that you were drunk and abusive. 1505 01:25:04,200 --> 01:25:09,297 Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man. 1506 01:25:09,806 --> 01:25:13,008 Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. 1507 01:25:13,009 --> 01:25:15,477 You don't draw shit, Lebowski. 1508 01:25:15,478 --> 01:25:18,280 Now, we got a nice quiet little beach community here, 1509 01:25:18,281 --> 01:25:20,882 and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. 1510 01:25:20,883 --> 01:25:23,216 So let me make something plain. 1511 01:25:23,786 --> 01:25:27,848 I don't like you sucking around bothering our citizens, Lebowski. 1512 01:25:28,591 --> 01:25:30,892 I don't like your jerk-off name. 1513 01:25:30,893 --> 01:25:32,260 I don't like your jerk-off face. 1514 01:25:32,261 --> 01:25:33,962 I don't like your jerk-off behavior. 1515 01:25:33,963 --> 01:25:36,899 And I don't like you, jerk-off. 1516 01:25:40,570 --> 01:25:42,470 Do I make myself clear? 1517 01:25:45,608 --> 01:25:47,576 I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. 1518 01:25:49,112 --> 01:25:50,212 Ow! 1519 01:25:50,213 --> 01:25:51,806 Fucking fascist! 1520 01:25:52,081 --> 01:25:53,415 (YELLING) 1521 01:25:53,416 --> 01:25:55,612 Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski. 1522 01:25:56,419 --> 01:25:58,547 Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat! 1523 01:25:59,722 --> 01:26:04,393 Keep your ugly, fucking, gold-bricking ass out of my beach community. 1524 01:26:04,394 --> 01:26:07,162 (MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) I want to sleep with you 1525 01:26:07,163 --> 01:26:10,292 In the desert tonight 1526 01:26:11,534 --> 01:26:16,165 With a billion stars all around 1527 01:26:17,040 --> 01:26:20,308 Jesus, man. Could you change the channel? 1528 01:26:20,309 --> 01:26:22,044 Fuck you, man! If you don't like my fucking music, 1529 01:26:22,045 --> 01:26:23,645 get your own fucking cab! 1530 01:26:23,646 --> 01:26:24,780 I had a really rough... 1531 01:26:24,781 --> 01:26:26,648 I'll pull off to the side and kick your ass out. 1532 01:26:26,649 --> 01:26:31,348 Man, come on. I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man. 1533 01:26:31,888 --> 01:26:33,355 (TIRES SQUEALING) 1534 01:26:35,124 --> 01:26:36,592 (HORN HONKING) 1535 01:26:39,095 --> 01:26:41,689 Out of my fucking cab! Out! Man! 1536 01:26:43,132 --> 01:26:45,328 Man! Man! Hey! 1537 01:26:52,175 --> 01:26:54,405 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 1538 01:26:56,512 --> 01:27:00,515 (SINGING) There's a thousand pretty women waiting out there 1539 01:27:00,516 --> 01:27:04,319 And they're all livin' devil may care 1540 01:27:04,320 --> 01:27:07,915 And I'm just the devil with love to spare 1541 01:27:08,157 --> 01:27:11,457 So viva Las Vegas 1542 01:27:12,295 --> 01:27:15,822 Viva Las Vegas 1543 01:27:27,844 --> 01:27:30,472 Oh, Jesus! 1544 01:27:36,219 --> 01:27:37,447 (GRUNTS) 1545 01:27:50,433 --> 01:27:51,662 Jeffrey. 1546 01:27:52,602 --> 01:27:54,468 Maude? Love me. 1547 01:27:57,273 --> 01:27:59,207 That's my robe. 1548 01:28:00,510 --> 01:28:02,444 MAUDE: Tell me about yourself, Jeffrey. 1549 01:28:03,279 --> 01:28:05,509 Well, not much to tell. 1550 01:28:06,649 --> 01:28:12,281 I was one of the authors of the Port Huron Statement. 1551 01:28:13,890 --> 01:28:16,290 The original Port Huron Statement. Uh-huh. 1552 01:28:16,726 --> 01:28:20,287 Not the compromised second draft. 1553 01:28:22,198 --> 01:28:23,927 Then l... 1554 01:28:25,067 --> 01:28:27,702 You ever hear of the Seattle Seven? 1555 01:28:27,703 --> 01:28:29,103 That was me. 1556 01:28:32,341 --> 01:28:34,606 And there were six other guys. 1557 01:28:36,145 --> 01:28:39,447 And then the music business, briefly. 1558 01:28:39,448 --> 01:28:41,049 Oh? Yeah. 1559 01:28:41,050 --> 01:28:42,851 Roadie for Metallica. 1560 01:28:42,852 --> 01:28:43,985 Oh. 1561 01:28:43,986 --> 01:28:45,477 Speed of Sound tour. 1562 01:28:45,855 --> 01:28:47,220 Mmm-hmm. 1563 01:28:47,690 --> 01:28:49,351 Bunch of assholes. 1564 01:28:50,660 --> 01:28:54,027 And then, you know, little of this, little of that. 1565 01:28:55,398 --> 01:28:58,733 My career's slowed down a little lately. 1566 01:28:58,734 --> 01:29:01,863 What do you do for recreation? 1567 01:29:02,672 --> 01:29:04,206 Well, the usual. 1568 01:29:04,207 --> 01:29:07,005 Bowl, drive around, 1569 01:29:08,477 --> 01:29:10,776 the occasional acid flashback. 1570 01:29:11,981 --> 01:29:13,540 (COUGHING) 1571 01:29:17,019 --> 01:29:19,187 MAUDE: What happened to your house? 1572 01:29:19,188 --> 01:29:21,823 Oh, Jackie Treehorn trashed the place. 1573 01:29:21,824 --> 01:29:24,793 He thought I had your father's money. 1574 01:29:24,794 --> 01:29:28,063 He got me out of the way while he looked for it. 1575 01:29:28,064 --> 01:29:30,265 Cocktail? No, thanks. 1576 01:29:30,266 --> 01:29:33,361 It's not my father's money. It's the foundation's. 1577 01:29:33,870 --> 01:29:37,239 Why did he think you have it? Who does? 1578 01:29:37,240 --> 01:29:41,776 Oh, Larry Sellers, this high school kid. Real fucking brat. 1579 01:29:41,777 --> 01:29:45,413 You know, this is a very complicated case, Maude. 1580 01:29:45,414 --> 01:29:47,405 A lot of ins, a lot of outs. 1581 01:29:48,084 --> 01:29:52,721 You know, fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, drug regimen 1582 01:29:52,722 --> 01:29:55,056 to keep my mind, you know, limber, 1583 01:29:55,057 --> 01:29:58,693 and I'm very fucking close to your father's money. 1584 01:29:58,694 --> 01:30:01,396 I keep telling you, it's the foundation's money. 1585 01:30:01,397 --> 01:30:03,024 Father doesn't have any. 1586 01:30:04,600 --> 01:30:06,868 What are you talking about? He's fucking loaded. 1587 01:30:06,869 --> 01:30:09,167 No, no. The wealth is all Mother's. 1588 01:30:09,972 --> 01:30:11,440 No, he runs stuff. 1589 01:30:11,841 --> 01:30:14,142 We did let him run one of the companies briefly, 1590 01:30:14,143 --> 01:30:17,145 but he didn't do very well at it. Oh, he's, you know... 1591 01:30:17,146 --> 01:30:19,614 No, he helps administer the charities now, 1592 01:30:19,615 --> 01:30:22,317 and I give him a reasonable allowance. 1593 01:30:22,318 --> 01:30:24,085 He has no money of his own. 1594 01:30:24,086 --> 01:30:25,854 I know how he likes to present himself. 1595 01:30:25,855 --> 01:30:29,154 Father's weakness is vanity, hence the slut. 1596 01:30:31,427 --> 01:30:33,020 Do you think he... 1597 01:30:34,563 --> 01:30:35,964 What is that, yoga? 1598 01:30:35,965 --> 01:30:38,331 It increases the chances of conception. 1599 01:30:40,069 --> 01:30:41,303 (COUGHS) 1600 01:30:41,304 --> 01:30:43,905 lncreases... Well, yes. 1601 01:30:43,906 --> 01:30:46,942 What did you think this was all about? Fun and games? 1602 01:30:46,943 --> 01:30:48,467 I want a child. 1603 01:30:49,078 --> 01:30:50,979 Okay, yeah, okay. 1604 01:30:50,980 --> 01:30:53,915 But let me... Let me explain something about the Dude. 1605 01:30:53,916 --> 01:30:57,452 Look, Jeffrey, I don't want a partner. 1606 01:30:57,453 --> 01:31:01,222 In fact, I don't want the father to be someone I have to see socially 1607 01:31:01,223 --> 01:31:04,318 or who will have any interest in raising the child himself. 1608 01:31:05,761 --> 01:31:09,254 Oh. So, that doctor... Exactly. 1609 01:31:10,333 --> 01:31:13,200 Now, what happened to your face? 1610 01:31:13,836 --> 01:31:16,037 Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well? 1611 01:31:16,038 --> 01:31:21,443 No, it was the chief of police of Malibu, a real reactionary. 1612 01:31:21,444 --> 01:31:23,173 So, your father... 1613 01:31:25,181 --> 01:31:28,183 Oh, yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. What? 1614 01:31:28,184 --> 01:31:32,687 Oh, man. My thinking about this case has become very uptight. 1615 01:31:32,688 --> 01:31:34,255 Yeah. 1616 01:31:34,256 --> 01:31:35,622 Your father. 1617 01:31:36,592 --> 01:31:39,584 Jeffrey, what are you talking about? 1618 01:31:41,597 --> 01:31:42,697 Jeffrey! 1619 01:31:42,698 --> 01:31:45,567 Walter, if you're there, pick up the fucking phone, man. 1620 01:31:45,568 --> 01:31:47,669 Come on, Walter. 1621 01:31:47,670 --> 01:31:50,972 Pick it up, man. This is an emergency. Dude? Dude? 1622 01:31:50,973 --> 01:31:55,010 Yeah. Listen, Walter. I'm at my place. I need you to come pick me up. 1623 01:31:55,011 --> 01:31:57,479 I can't drive, Dude. It's Erev shabbos. What? 1624 01:31:57,480 --> 01:31:58,980 Erev shabbos. What? 1625 01:31:58,981 --> 01:32:02,217 Erev shabbos. I can't drive. Man! 1626 01:32:02,218 --> 01:32:04,919 I'm not even supposed to pick up the phone unless it's an emergency. 1627 01:32:04,920 --> 01:32:08,390 This is a fucking emergency! I understand. 1628 01:32:08,391 --> 01:32:10,058 That's why I picked up the phone. 1629 01:32:10,059 --> 01:32:13,428 Walter, you fuck. We gotta go to Pasadena, man. 1630 01:32:13,429 --> 01:32:15,693 Come pick me up or I'm off the fucking bowling team. 1631 01:32:31,313 --> 01:32:33,782 Get out of that fucking car, man! 1632 01:32:35,084 --> 01:32:37,218 Get out of that fucking car! 1633 01:32:37,219 --> 01:32:39,484 Get the fuck out of the car, man. 1634 01:32:41,524 --> 01:32:43,492 Get out of the fucking... 1635 01:32:44,093 --> 01:32:45,994 Who the fuck are you, man? Easy, man! 1636 01:32:45,995 --> 01:32:47,394 Relax, man. 1637 01:32:48,464 --> 01:32:50,231 No physical harm intended. 1638 01:32:50,232 --> 01:32:53,067 Who the fuck are you? Why you following me around? 1639 01:32:53,068 --> 01:32:56,232 Come on, fuckhead! Relax, man. I'm a brother shamus. 1640 01:32:57,239 --> 01:32:58,764 Brother Shamus? 1641 01:33:00,509 --> 01:33:02,277 Like an Irish monk? 1642 01:33:02,278 --> 01:33:04,245 What the fuck are you talking about? 1643 01:33:04,246 --> 01:33:08,183 My name is Da Fino. I'm a private snoop, like you, man. 1644 01:33:09,485 --> 01:33:11,619 What? A dick, man. 1645 01:33:11,620 --> 01:33:14,823 And let me tell you something, I dig your work. 1646 01:33:14,824 --> 01:33:17,859 Playing one side against the other, in bed with everybody. 1647 01:33:17,860 --> 01:33:20,328 Fabulous stuff, man. I'm not... 1648 01:33:20,329 --> 01:33:23,331 Fuck it, man. Just stay away from my fucking lady friend. 1649 01:33:23,332 --> 01:33:25,967 Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady. 1650 01:33:25,968 --> 01:33:28,603 She's not my special lady. She's my fucking lady friend. 1651 01:33:28,604 --> 01:33:31,439 I'm just helping her conceive, man! Hey, man. I'm not... 1652 01:33:31,440 --> 01:33:33,975 Who are you working for? Lebowski? 1653 01:33:33,976 --> 01:33:35,410 Jackie Treehorn? 1654 01:33:37,213 --> 01:33:38,703 The Kneutsons. 1655 01:33:40,115 --> 01:33:42,817 Who the fuck are the Kneutsons? 1656 01:33:42,818 --> 01:33:46,379 The Kneutsons, it's a wandering daughterjob. 1657 01:33:47,790 --> 01:33:50,425 Bunny Lebowski, man. 1658 01:33:50,426 --> 01:33:53,294 Her real name is Fawn Kneutson. 1659 01:33:53,295 --> 01:33:55,264 Her parents want her back, see? 1660 01:33:56,432 --> 01:33:58,466 Jesus fucking Christ. 1661 01:33:58,467 --> 01:34:01,469 Crazy, huh? Ran away about a year ago. 1662 01:34:01,470 --> 01:34:05,240 The Kneutsons told me I should show her this when I found her. 1663 01:34:05,241 --> 01:34:08,943 It's the family farm. It's outside Moorhead, Minnesota. 1664 01:34:08,944 --> 01:34:12,080 They think it'll make her homesick. Oh, boy. 1665 01:34:12,081 --> 01:34:13,815 How are you gonna keep them down on the farm 1666 01:34:13,816 --> 01:34:15,784 once they've seen Karl Hungus? 1667 01:34:16,385 --> 01:34:18,987 She's been kidnapped, Da Fino. Oh, man. 1668 01:34:18,988 --> 01:34:20,255 Or I don't know. Maybe not. 1669 01:34:20,256 --> 01:34:21,923 But she's definitely not around. 1670 01:34:21,924 --> 01:34:25,861 Hey, maybe you and me could pool our resources, 1671 01:34:26,295 --> 01:34:28,229 trade information. 1672 01:34:28,230 --> 01:34:30,028 (DOG BARKING) Professional courtesy? 1673 01:34:30,599 --> 01:34:31,799 Compeers. You know what I mean? 1674 01:34:31,800 --> 01:34:34,402 Yeah, yeah, I get it. Fuck off, Da Fino. 1675 01:34:34,403 --> 01:34:36,638 And stay away from my special... 1676 01:34:36,639 --> 01:34:39,540 From my fucking lady friend, man! 1677 01:34:42,144 --> 01:34:44,044 The lingonberry pancake. 1678 01:34:46,949 --> 01:34:48,550 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1679 01:34:48,551 --> 01:34:50,678 Lingonberry pancakes. 1680 01:34:54,290 --> 01:34:56,121 Three pigs in blanket. 1681 01:34:57,092 --> 01:34:59,027 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1682 01:35:02,198 --> 01:35:04,132 DIETER: She has lingonberry pancakes. 1683 01:35:04,133 --> 01:35:06,329 (MEN SPEAKING GERMAN) 1684 01:35:12,808 --> 01:35:16,210 I mean, we totally fucked it up, man. We fucked up his payoff. 1685 01:35:16,211 --> 01:35:18,479 We got the kidnappers all pissed off. 1686 01:35:18,480 --> 01:35:20,815 And Lebowski, you know, he yelled at me a lot, 1687 01:35:20,816 --> 01:35:23,084 but he didn't do anything, huh? 1688 01:35:23,085 --> 01:35:25,353 Well, sometimes it's a cathartic... No, no. 1689 01:35:25,354 --> 01:35:27,755 I'm saying that if he knows I'm a fuckup, 1690 01:35:27,756 --> 01:35:30,191 why does he leave me in charge of getting his wife back? 1691 01:35:30,192 --> 01:35:33,628 DUDE: Because he doesn't fucking want her back, man. 1692 01:35:33,629 --> 01:35:36,898 He's had enough. He no longer digs her. It's all a show. 1693 01:35:36,899 --> 01:35:41,369 Okay, but then why doesn't he give a shit about his million bucks? 1694 01:35:41,370 --> 01:35:44,238 I mean, he knows we never handed off his briefcase, 1695 01:35:44,239 --> 01:35:46,307 (THUNDER CRASHING) but he never asked for it back. 1696 01:35:46,308 --> 01:35:49,403 The million bucks was never in the briefcase. 1697 01:35:50,079 --> 01:35:53,181 The briefcase was fucking empty, man. 1698 01:35:53,182 --> 01:35:55,950 The asshole was hoping that they would kill her. 1699 01:35:55,951 --> 01:35:58,586 You threw out a ringer for a ringer. 1700 01:35:58,587 --> 01:36:02,390 Okay, but how does all this add up to an emergency? 1701 01:36:02,391 --> 01:36:06,694 I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude. He kept the money. 1702 01:36:06,695 --> 01:36:08,630 My point is... 1703 01:36:08,631 --> 01:36:11,933 Here we are, it's shabbos, the Sabbath, 1704 01:36:11,934 --> 01:36:16,037 which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death. 1705 01:36:16,038 --> 01:36:19,474 Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man. 1706 01:36:19,475 --> 01:36:21,209 What the fuck are you talking about? 1707 01:36:21,210 --> 01:36:22,677 Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic! 1708 01:36:22,678 --> 01:36:24,379 What the fuck are you talking about? 1709 01:36:24,380 --> 01:36:26,581 I converted when I married Cynthia. Come on, Dude. 1710 01:36:26,582 --> 01:36:28,683 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know this. 1711 01:36:28,684 --> 01:36:31,019 And five fucking years ago, you were divorced. 1712 01:36:31,020 --> 01:36:32,587 So what are you saying? When you get divorced, 1713 01:36:32,588 --> 01:36:34,822 you turn in your library card? You get a new license? 1714 01:36:34,823 --> 01:36:37,992 You stop being Jewish? This is the driveway. 1715 01:36:37,993 --> 01:36:40,094 Jewish as fucking Tevye. Man. 1716 01:36:40,095 --> 01:36:44,465 You know, it's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing. 1717 01:36:44,466 --> 01:36:48,436 Man, taking care of her fucking dog, going to her fucking synagogue. 1718 01:36:48,437 --> 01:36:50,371 You're living in the fucking past. 1719 01:36:50,372 --> 01:36:53,808 Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax. 1720 01:36:53,809 --> 01:36:56,844 You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! 1721 01:36:56,845 --> 01:36:58,973 l've... Jesus. 1722 01:37:00,215 --> 01:37:02,150 WALTER: What the hell happened? 1723 01:37:03,052 --> 01:37:05,885 So viva Las Vegas 1724 01:37:07,289 --> 01:37:10,225 Viva Las Vegas 1725 01:37:11,160 --> 01:37:12,650 (DOG WHINING) 1726 01:37:15,130 --> 01:37:17,121 Let's go. Fuck it. 1727 01:37:19,268 --> 01:37:20,667 (EXCLAIMS) 1728 01:37:21,303 --> 01:37:22,804 DUDE: Where was she, man? 1729 01:37:22,805 --> 01:37:24,872 Visiting friends of hers in Palm Springs. 1730 01:37:24,873 --> 01:37:27,375 She just picked up and left, never bothered to tell us. 1731 01:37:27,376 --> 01:37:29,944 Well, I guess the fucking nihilists knew where she was. 1732 01:37:29,945 --> 01:37:32,246 Jesus, Dude. She never even kidnapped herself. 1733 01:37:32,247 --> 01:37:35,683 Who is this gentleman, Dude? Who am l? I'm a fucking veteran. 1734 01:37:35,684 --> 01:37:36,984 Come on! That's who I am. 1735 01:37:36,985 --> 01:37:39,511 You shouldn't go in there, Dude. He's very angry. 1736 01:37:40,589 --> 01:37:41,856 (WHINING) 1737 01:37:41,857 --> 01:37:43,291 So, man. 1738 01:37:43,292 --> 01:37:47,195 So? She's back, no thanks to you. 1739 01:37:47,196 --> 01:37:49,664 Where's the fucking money, Lebowski? 1740 01:37:49,665 --> 01:37:53,067 A million bucks from fucking, needy, little Urban Achievers! 1741 01:37:53,068 --> 01:37:54,635 You are scum, man! 1742 01:37:54,636 --> 01:37:57,004 Who the hell is he? Who am l? Who am l? 1743 01:37:57,005 --> 01:37:58,673 Walter. I'm the guy that's gonna kick your phony, 1744 01:37:58,674 --> 01:38:00,074 gold-bricking ass, that's who I am. Man. 1745 01:38:00,075 --> 01:38:02,009 We know the briefcase was fucking empty. 1746 01:38:02,010 --> 01:38:04,112 We know you kept the million bucks for yourself. 1747 01:38:04,113 --> 01:38:05,780 You have your story, I have mine. 1748 01:38:05,781 --> 01:38:09,150 I say I entrusted the money to you and you stole it. 1749 01:38:09,151 --> 01:38:12,453 As if we would ever dream of taking your bullshit money! 1750 01:38:12,454 --> 01:38:14,756 You thought that Bunny had been kidnapped, 1751 01:38:14,757 --> 01:38:16,424 and you were fucking glad, man. 1752 01:38:16,425 --> 01:38:18,760 You could use it as an excuse to make some money disappear. 1753 01:38:18,761 --> 01:38:22,130 All you needed was a sap to pin it on. You just met me. 1754 01:38:22,131 --> 01:38:25,133 You... You human paraquat. 1755 01:38:25,134 --> 01:38:28,703 You figured, "Oh, here's a loser, you know, a deadbeat. 1756 01:38:28,704 --> 01:38:31,372 "Somebody this square community won't give a shit about." 1757 01:38:31,373 --> 01:38:32,932 Well, aren't you? 1758 01:38:34,209 --> 01:38:38,012 Well, yeah, but... Get out, both of you. 1759 01:38:38,013 --> 01:38:41,382 Look at that fucking phony, Dude, pretending to be a fucking millionaire. 1760 01:38:41,383 --> 01:38:43,751 Out of this house now, you bums! 1761 01:38:43,752 --> 01:38:45,419 Let me tell you something else. 1762 01:38:45,420 --> 01:38:49,152 I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy's a fake. 1763 01:38:49,892 --> 01:38:53,127 A fucking gold-bricker. Stay away from me, mister! 1764 01:38:53,128 --> 01:38:54,862 This guy fucking walks. 1765 01:38:54,863 --> 01:38:57,298 I've never been more certain of anything in my life. 1766 01:38:57,299 --> 01:38:58,566 You stay away from me! 1767 01:38:58,567 --> 01:39:01,068 Walter, for Christ's sake, man! He's a cripple. 1768 01:39:01,069 --> 01:39:02,904 I said! Get away from me! Come on. Come on. 1769 01:39:02,905 --> 01:39:06,474 (SCREAMING) Walter, put him down, man! 1770 01:39:06,475 --> 01:39:10,211 Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude. Walk! Achtung, baby! 1771 01:39:10,212 --> 01:39:11,509 (GROANS) 1772 01:39:13,916 --> 01:39:15,645 (DOG BARKING) 1773 01:39:21,490 --> 01:39:23,390 (SOBBING) 1774 01:39:24,426 --> 01:39:25,689 (PANTING) 1775 01:39:27,429 --> 01:39:30,524 Come on, man. Help me put him back in his chair. 1776 01:39:34,469 --> 01:39:36,537 WALTER: At least they had the fucking decency to tell us 1777 01:39:36,538 --> 01:39:38,939 that we were fighting the communists. 1778 01:39:41,443 --> 01:39:44,912 Whereas this whole fucking thing, this whole fucking thing 1779 01:39:44,913 --> 01:39:47,849 is nothing about nothing, about oil, 1780 01:39:47,850 --> 01:39:50,284 which is what I personally hear, Dude. 1781 01:39:50,285 --> 01:39:52,653 Sure you'll see some tank battles, 1782 01:39:52,654 --> 01:39:56,181 but fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle. 1783 01:39:57,259 --> 01:40:00,695 I mean, Nam was a foot soldier's war, whereas this thing should... 1784 01:40:01,663 --> 01:40:03,998 You know, should be a piece of cake. 1785 01:40:03,999 --> 01:40:07,535 I mean, I had an M16, Jacko, not an Abrams fucking tank. 1786 01:40:07,536 --> 01:40:11,005 Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball. Yeah. 1787 01:40:11,006 --> 01:40:13,407 That's fucking combat. 1788 01:40:13,408 --> 01:40:16,377 The man in the black pajamas, Dude. 1789 01:40:16,378 --> 01:40:18,346 Worthy fucking adversary. 1790 01:40:18,347 --> 01:40:21,849 Who's in pajamas, Walter? Shut the fuck up, Donny. 1791 01:40:21,850 --> 01:40:24,151 Whereas what we have here, 1792 01:40:24,152 --> 01:40:26,387 a bunch of fig eaters wearing towels on their head, 1793 01:40:26,388 --> 01:40:28,550 trying to find reverse on a Soviet tank. 1794 01:40:29,424 --> 01:40:31,692 This is not a worthy fucking adversary. QUINTANA: Hey! 1795 01:40:31,693 --> 01:40:33,794 What's this day-of-rest shit? 1796 01:40:33,795 --> 01:40:35,463 What's this bullshit? 1797 01:40:35,464 --> 01:40:38,599 I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus. 1798 01:40:38,600 --> 01:40:40,134 But you not fooling me, man. 1799 01:40:40,135 --> 01:40:42,937 You might fool the fucks in the league office 1800 01:40:42,938 --> 01:40:45,236 but you don't fool Jesus. 1801 01:40:45,407 --> 01:40:48,209 It's Bush league psych-out stuff. 1802 01:40:48,210 --> 01:40:49,609 Laughable, man! 1803 01:40:50,779 --> 01:40:53,874 I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday. 1804 01:40:54,616 --> 01:40:57,552 I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. 1805 01:40:57,920 --> 01:40:59,020 (WHOOPS) 1806 01:40:59,021 --> 01:41:01,455 You got a date Wednesday, baby! 1807 01:41:06,328 --> 01:41:07,595 He's cracking. 1808 01:41:07,596 --> 01:41:09,397 ...the whole concept of age. 1809 01:41:09,398 --> 01:41:11,666 I mean, many learned men have disputed this 1810 01:41:11,667 --> 01:41:14,534 but in the 14th century, the Rambam... 1811 01:41:24,546 --> 01:41:26,814 Well, they finally did it. 1812 01:41:26,815 --> 01:41:29,050 They killed my fucking car. 1813 01:41:29,051 --> 01:41:32,687 We want the money, Lebowski. 1814 01:41:32,688 --> 01:41:35,289 Ja. Otherwise, we kill the girl. 1815 01:41:35,290 --> 01:41:38,893 Ja. It seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski. 1816 01:41:38,894 --> 01:41:41,729 You don't have the fucking girl, dipshit. 1817 01:41:41,730 --> 01:41:44,031 We know you never did. 1818 01:41:44,032 --> 01:41:45,700 Are these the Nazis, Walter? 1819 01:41:45,701 --> 01:41:47,501 No, Donny. These men are nihilists. 1820 01:41:47,502 --> 01:41:48,936 There's nothing to be afraid of. 1821 01:41:50,605 --> 01:41:51,772 We don't care. 1822 01:41:51,773 --> 01:41:56,310 We still want the money, Lebowski, or we fuck you up. 1823 01:41:56,311 --> 01:41:59,046 Fuck you. Fuck the three of you. Cool it, Walter. 1824 01:41:59,047 --> 01:42:02,984 No. Without a hostage, there is no ransom. 1825 01:42:02,985 --> 01:42:06,420 That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules. 1826 01:42:06,421 --> 01:42:08,823 His girlfriend gave up her toe. 1827 01:42:08,824 --> 01:42:11,225 She thought we could get $1 million. 1828 01:42:11,226 --> 01:42:13,828 It's not fair. Fair? 1829 01:42:13,829 --> 01:42:17,531 Who's the fucking nihilists around here, you bunch of fucking crybabies? 1830 01:42:17,532 --> 01:42:20,001 Cool it, Walter. Hey, look, pal. 1831 01:42:20,002 --> 01:42:21,802 DUDE: There never was any money. 1832 01:42:21,803 --> 01:42:24,005 The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, 1833 01:42:24,006 --> 01:42:26,140 so take it up with him, man. 1834 01:42:26,141 --> 01:42:28,743 And I would like my undies back. 1835 01:42:28,744 --> 01:42:30,044 Are these guys gonna hurt us, Walter? 1836 01:42:30,045 --> 01:42:32,613 No, Donny. These men are cowards. 1837 01:42:32,614 --> 01:42:33,981 Okay! 1838 01:42:33,982 --> 01:42:37,509 So we takes the money you have on you, and we calls it even. 1839 01:42:38,954 --> 01:42:41,055 Fuck you. Hey, no. Come on, Walter. 1840 01:42:41,056 --> 01:42:43,157 Come on, we're ending this thing cheap, man. 1841 01:42:43,158 --> 01:42:45,826 No. What's mine is mine. No, come on, Walter. 1842 01:42:45,827 --> 01:42:48,129 No funny stuff. All right. All right. 1843 01:42:48,130 --> 01:42:52,967 No funny stuff. I got 4 bucks, almost 5. 1844 01:42:52,968 --> 01:42:55,603 I got $1·. WALTER: What's mine is mine. 1845 01:42:55,604 --> 01:42:58,733 We fuck you up, man! We takes the money! 1846 01:42:59,274 --> 01:43:00,639 Come and get it. 1847 01:43:01,977 --> 01:43:06,280 We fuck you up! Show me what you got, nihilists. 1848 01:43:06,281 --> 01:43:08,849 I fuck you! Walter, come on. He's got a sword. 1849 01:43:08,850 --> 01:43:11,118 Fucking dipshit with a nine-toed woman! 1850 01:43:11,119 --> 01:43:14,988 I fuck you! Fuck you! I fuck you! 1851 01:43:15,323 --> 01:43:16,424 (EXCLAIMING) 1852 01:43:16,425 --> 01:43:18,052 (GRUNTING) 1853 01:43:21,163 --> 01:43:22,897 Take it easy, man. I fuck you! 1854 01:43:22,898 --> 01:43:24,899 Take the $4. I fuck you! 1855 01:43:24,900 --> 01:43:27,994 (GRUNTING) 1856 01:43:29,137 --> 01:43:30,271 I fuck you! 1857 01:43:30,272 --> 01:43:32,172 I'm gonna hit you with the fucking ball, man. 1858 01:43:33,208 --> 01:43:34,675 (SCREAMING) 1859 01:43:34,676 --> 01:43:35,803 (SPITS) 1860 01:43:36,912 --> 01:43:39,039 MAN: Hey, dickhead! Anti-Semite. 1861 01:43:40,015 --> 01:43:42,783 I fuck you in the ass! I fuck you in the ass! 1862 01:43:42,784 --> 01:43:46,020 I fuck you! I fuck you! 1863 01:43:46,021 --> 01:43:48,012 I fuck you! I fuck you! 1864 01:43:54,262 --> 01:43:56,231 We got a man down, Dude! 1865 01:43:57,866 --> 01:43:59,300 (GROANING) 1866 01:43:59,935 --> 01:44:01,235 Oh, God. They shot him, man. 1867 01:44:01,236 --> 01:44:03,571 He's not shot. No, Dude. Are you shot, Donny? 1868 01:44:03,572 --> 01:44:05,940 There weren't any shots fired. Huh? 1869 01:44:05,941 --> 01:44:09,172 It's a heart attack. Call the medics, Dude. 1870 01:44:09,744 --> 01:44:12,646 I'd go myself, but I'm pumping blood, might pass out. 1871 01:44:12,647 --> 01:44:16,050 Rest easy, good buddy. You're doing fine. 1872 01:44:16,051 --> 01:44:18,452 We got help choppering in. 1873 01:44:27,262 --> 01:44:29,424 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 1874 01:44:45,981 --> 01:44:47,748 Hello, gentlemen. 1875 01:44:47,749 --> 01:44:49,979 You are the bereaved? Yeah, man. 1876 01:44:50,652 --> 01:44:53,387 Francis Donnelly, pleased to meet you. 1877 01:44:53,388 --> 01:44:55,790 Jeff Lebowski. Walter Sobchak. 1878 01:44:55,791 --> 01:44:58,021 The Dude actually is... 1879 01:44:59,060 --> 01:45:00,995 Excuse me? Oh, nothing. 1880 01:45:02,831 --> 01:45:07,568 Yes. I understand you're taking away the remains? 1881 01:45:07,569 --> 01:45:08,764 Yeah. 1882 01:45:09,504 --> 01:45:11,302 We have the urn. 1883 01:45:12,674 --> 01:45:14,870 I assume this is credit card? 1884 01:45:16,077 --> 01:45:17,170 Yeah. 1885 01:45:27,689 --> 01:45:28,918 (CLEARS THROAT) 1886 01:45:31,893 --> 01:45:33,293 What's this? 1887 01:45:34,062 --> 01:45:35,796 Now, that's for the urn. 1888 01:45:35,797 --> 01:45:37,822 Don't need it. We're scattering the ashes. 1889 01:45:38,600 --> 01:45:41,335 Yes. So we were informed. 1890 01:45:41,336 --> 01:45:45,139 However, we must, of course, transmit the remains to you 1891 01:45:45,140 --> 01:45:46,733 in a receptacle. 1892 01:45:47,976 --> 01:45:49,774 That's $1·0. 1893 01:45:50,111 --> 01:45:54,048 It is our most modestly priced receptacle. 1894 01:45:54,382 --> 01:45:56,617 Well, can't we just... $1·0? 1895 01:45:56,618 --> 01:45:58,609 They range up to $3,000. 1896 01:45:59,421 --> 01:46:02,623 We're... Can't we just rent it from you, you know? 1897 01:46:02,624 --> 01:46:05,559 Sir, this is a mortuary not a rental house. 1898 01:46:05,560 --> 01:46:07,962 We're scattering the fucking ashes! Walter, Walter. 1899 01:46:07,963 --> 01:46:10,564 Just because we're bereaved doesn't make us saps. 1900 01:46:10,565 --> 01:46:13,033 Sir, please lower your voices. 1901 01:46:13,034 --> 01:46:17,204 Man, don't you have, you know, something else we can put him in? 1902 01:46:17,205 --> 01:46:18,305 You know? 1903 01:46:18,306 --> 01:46:21,367 That is our most modestly priced receptacle. 1904 01:46:21,643 --> 01:46:23,236 God damn it! 1905 01:46:25,380 --> 01:46:27,041 Is there a Ralph's around here? 1906 01:46:46,501 --> 01:46:48,435 (SEAGULLS SQUAWKING) 1907 01:46:54,042 --> 01:46:56,704 Donny was a good bowler and a good man. 1908 01:46:57,979 --> 01:47:00,180 He was one of us. 1909 01:47:00,181 --> 01:47:04,118 He was a man who loved the outdoors and bowling. 1910 01:47:04,252 --> 01:47:08,055 And as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California 1911 01:47:08,056 --> 01:47:10,958 from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo 1912 01:47:10,959 --> 01:47:13,519 and up to Pismo. 1913 01:47:14,329 --> 01:47:15,592 He died... 1914 01:47:16,564 --> 01:47:20,768 He died as so many young men of his generation, before his time. 1915 01:47:20,769 --> 01:47:24,038 In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, 1916 01:47:24,039 --> 01:47:27,441 as you took so many bright, flowering young men 1917 01:47:27,442 --> 01:47:30,344 at Khe Sanh, at Lan Doc, 1918 01:47:30,345 --> 01:47:32,074 at Hill 364. 1919 01:47:33,381 --> 01:47:35,748 These young men gave their lives, 1920 01:47:36,351 --> 01:47:37,819 and so did Donny. 1921 01:47:39,955 --> 01:47:41,946 Donny, who loved bowling. 1922 01:47:44,993 --> 01:47:45,983 And so, 1923 01:47:47,629 --> 01:47:49,995 Theodore Donald Kerabatsos, 1924 01:47:51,299 --> 01:47:56,396 in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, 1925 01:47:57,739 --> 01:48:00,538 we commit your final mortal remains 1926 01:48:01,443 --> 01:48:03,843 to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean 1927 01:48:05,313 --> 01:48:07,282 which you loved so well. 1928 01:48:09,617 --> 01:48:11,711 Good night, sweet prince. 1929 01:48:23,198 --> 01:48:24,427 (lNHALES) 1930 01:48:26,868 --> 01:48:28,268 Shit. 1931 01:48:30,205 --> 01:48:32,230 Oh, shit, Dude. I'm sorry. 1932 01:48:34,042 --> 01:48:37,244 Goddamn wind. Fuck, god damn it, Walter! 1933 01:48:37,245 --> 01:48:39,613 You fucking asshole! Shit, Dude. I'm sorry. 1934 01:48:39,614 --> 01:48:41,915 Everything's a fucking travesty with you, man! 1935 01:48:41,916 --> 01:48:43,584 I'm sorry. It was an accident. 1936 01:48:43,585 --> 01:48:46,153 What was that shit about Vietnam? Dude, I'm sorry. 1937 01:48:46,154 --> 01:48:48,555 What the fuck does anything have to do with Vietnam? 1938 01:48:48,556 --> 01:48:50,624 Dude, I'm sorry. What the fuck are you talking about? 1939 01:48:50,625 --> 01:48:52,218 Dude, I'm sorry. 1940 01:48:55,130 --> 01:48:56,358 Fucking... 1941 01:49:03,338 --> 01:49:04,806 Fuck, Walter. 1942 01:49:06,708 --> 01:49:08,198 Come on, Dude. 1943 01:49:09,043 --> 01:49:10,705 Hey, fuck it, man. 1944 01:49:14,616 --> 01:49:16,243 Let's go bowling. 1945 01:49:39,741 --> 01:49:43,040 And when you're sittin' there 1946 01:49:43,678 --> 01:49:46,807 In your silk upholstered chair 1947 01:49:48,316 --> 01:49:52,344 Talkin' to some rich folks that you know 1948 01:49:55,690 --> 01:49:58,523 Well, I hope you don't see me 1949 01:49:59,527 --> 01:50:02,759 In my ragged company 1950 01:50:03,531 --> 01:50:08,594 O£, but you know I could never be alone 1951 01:50:10,772 --> 01:50:13,841 Two oat sodas, Gary. Right. Good luck tomorrow. 1952 01:50:13,842 --> 01:50:17,377 Yeah, thanks, man. I was sorry to hear about Donny. 1953 01:50:17,378 --> 01:50:20,246 Oh, yeah. Well, you know, 1954 01:50:21,082 --> 01:50:25,152 sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, you know... 1955 01:50:25,153 --> 01:50:26,416 Hey, man. 1956 01:50:27,222 --> 01:50:30,491 How do you do, Dude? I wondered if I'd see you again. 1957 01:50:30,492 --> 01:50:32,626 I wouldn't miss the semis. 1958 01:50:32,627 --> 01:50:34,328 Oh, yeah? How's things been going? 1959 01:50:34,329 --> 01:50:37,531 Well, you know, strikes and gutters, ups and downs. 1960 01:50:37,532 --> 01:50:40,228 Sure. I got you. Yeah. 1961 01:50:41,803 --> 01:50:42,903 Thanks, Gary. 1962 01:50:42,904 --> 01:50:45,339 Well, take care, man. Gotta get back. 1963 01:50:45,340 --> 01:50:48,475 Sure. Take it easy, Dude. Oh, yeah. 1964 01:50:48,476 --> 01:50:50,644 I know that you will. 1965 01:50:50,645 --> 01:50:53,979 Yeah. Well, the Dude abides. 1966 01:50:57,986 --> 01:50:59,180 Walter. 1967 01:51:00,889 --> 01:51:02,857 The Dude abides. 1968 01:51:06,761 --> 01:51:10,095 I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. 1969 01:51:11,399 --> 01:51:13,700 It's good knowing he's out there, 1970 01:51:13,701 --> 01:51:17,763 the Dude, taking her easy for all us sinners. 1971 01:51:20,508 --> 01:51:22,670 I sure hope he makes the finals. 1972 01:51:24,279 --> 01:51:26,480 Well, that about does her. 1973 01:51:26,481 --> 01:51:27,971 Wraps her all up. 1974 01:51:29,584 --> 01:51:33,043 Things seem to have worked out pretty good for the Dude and Walter. 1975 01:51:33,721 --> 01:51:36,987 And it was a pretty good story, don't you think? 1976 01:51:37,859 --> 01:51:40,191 Made me laugh to beat the band. 1977 01:51:40,828 --> 01:51:42,296 Parts anyway. 1978 01:51:43,865 --> 01:51:46,027 I didn't like seeing Donny go. 1979 01:51:47,135 --> 01:51:52,164 But then I happen to know that there's a little Lebowski on the way. 1980 01:51:53,841 --> 01:51:57,175 I guess that's the way the whole darned human comedy keeps 1981 01:51:57,745 --> 01:52:00,147 perpetuating itself 1982 01:52:00,148 --> 01:52:02,310 down through the generations. 1983 01:52:02,817 --> 01:52:07,084 Westward the wagons, across the sands of time until we... 1984 01:52:08,289 --> 01:52:11,486 Oh, look at me. I'm rambling again. 1985 01:52:12,894 --> 01:52:15,386 Well, I hope you folks enjoyed yourselves. 1986 01:52:15,863 --> 01:52:18,196 Catch you later on down the trail. 1987 01:52:19,400 --> 01:52:22,495 Say, friend, you got any more of that good sarsaparilla? 1988 01:52:45,460 --> 01:52:49,529 Take me down, little Susie 1989 01:52:49,530 --> 01:52:51,362 Take me down 1990 01:52:54,669 --> 01:52:57,270 I know you think you're the queen 1991 01:52:57,271 --> 01:52:59,365 Of the underground 1992 01:53:03,077 --> 01:53:08,038 Send me dead flowers every morning 1993 01:53:11,419 --> 01:53:15,947 Send me dead flowers by the mail 1994 01:53:19,727 --> 01:53:24,187 Send me dead flowers to my wedding 1995 01:53:26,734 --> 01:53:33,902 And I won't forget to put roses on your grave 1996 01:53:35,009 --> 01:53:39,413 No, I won't forget to put roses 1997 01:53:39,414 --> 01:53:43,714 On your grave 1998 01:53:48,189 --> 01:53:50,487 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1999 01:54:08,843 --> 01:54:13,371 Bright light city gonna set my soul 2000 01:54:13,848 --> 01:54:17,546 Gonna set my soul on fire 2001 01:54:18,886 --> 01:54:24,091 Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn 2002 01:54:24,092 --> 01:54:27,721 So get those stakes up higher 2003 01:54:29,297 --> 01:54:34,064 There's a thousand pretty women livin' out there 2004 01:54:34,802 --> 01:54:39,973 They're all livin' devil may care 2005 01:54:39,974 --> 01:54:44,544 And I'm just a devil with love to spare 2006 01:54:44,545 --> 01:54:48,778 So viva Las Vegas 2007 01:54:50,318 --> 01:54:54,380 Viva Las Vegas 2008 01:54:58,092 --> 01:55:02,829 Viva Las Vegas with your neon flashing 2009 01:55:02,830 --> 01:55:05,866 And your one-arm bandits crashing 2010 01:55:05,867 --> 01:55:09,462 All those hopes down the drain 2011 01:55:11,038 --> 01:55:16,309 Viva Las Vegas turnin' day into nighttime 2012 01:55:16,310 --> 01:55:18,879 Night into daytime 2013 01:55:18,880 --> 01:55:21,148 If you see it once 2014 01:55:21,149 --> 01:55:27,554 You'll never be the same again 2015 01:55:29,624 --> 01:55:34,161 I'm gonna keep on keep on runnin' 2016 01:55:34,162 --> 01:55:37,893 If it costs me my very last dime 2017 01:55:39,433 --> 01:55:41,835 If I wind up broke 2018 01:55:41,836 --> 01:55:44,137 Well, I'll always remember 2019 01:55:44,138 --> 01:55:48,166 That I had a swingin' time 2020 01:55:50,011 --> 01:55:54,107 I'm gonna give it everything I've got 2021 01:55:55,216 --> 01:55:59,448 Lady Luck, please let the dice stay hot 2022 01:56:00,388 --> 01:56:04,991 £et me shoot a seven on every shot 2023 01:56:04,992 --> 01:56:09,191 So viva Las Vegas 2024 01:56:10,731 --> 01:56:14,497 Viva Las Vegas 2025 01:56:15,870 --> 01:56:20,068 Viva Las Vegas 2026 01:56:20,942 --> 01:56:22,808 Viva 2027 01:56:23,811 --> 01:56:25,302 Viva 2028 01:56:26,280 --> 01:56:27,771 Viva 2029 01:56:28,883 --> 01:56:32,114 Viva 2030 01:56:33,387 --> 01:56:40,191 £as Vegas 2031 01:56:44,532 --> 01:56:47,831 Viva