1 00:00:10,563 --> 00:00:16,063 Top Gear 14x06 - Bolivia Special By KArkhon ( pix [at] sfcentar.com ) for Addic7ed.com 2 00:00:17,064 --> 00:00:20,076 Hello, everybody. Hello. Thank you. 3 00:00:20,111 --> 00:00:21,985 Hello! 4 00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:25,017 Hello and welcome to a Top Gear special, 5 00:00:25,052 --> 00:00:28,017 which tonight comes to you from South America. 6 00:00:28,052 --> 00:00:32,036 Yeah. The brief was simple. Each of us would be given a pittance. 7 00:00:32,071 --> 00:00:35,079 And we were told we could buy any car we liked 8 00:00:35,114 --> 00:00:38,053 from a second-hand car website in Bolivia. 9 00:00:38,088 --> 00:00:41,969 Yeah. And the only bit of advice we got, rather worryingly, 10 00:00:42,004 --> 00:00:45,044 was that it would be best if we chose a car with four-wheel drive. 11 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:48,039 We were then told we would be united with our cars 12 00:00:48,074 --> 00:00:51,000 somewhere around here in a place called Spidertown, 13 00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:55,004 right in the middle of the Amazon Rainforest. 14 00:00:58,008 --> 00:01:01,056 These are the views that greeted us from our helicopter. 15 00:01:02,056 --> 00:01:03,969 Except they're not, 16 00:01:04,004 --> 00:01:07,048 because the helicopter booked for us had crashed. 17 00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:11,064 That meant we had to borrow these pictures 18 00:01:11,099 --> 00:01:13,048 from Bruce Parry's programme... 19 00:01:16,008 --> 00:01:18,048 .. and go to the start point in a boat... 20 00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:21,001 utterly bewildered by everything. 21 00:01:21,036 --> 00:01:24,057 Look at that purple tree! The butterfly's more amazing. 22 00:01:24,092 --> 00:01:29,032 No, the purple tree's the best. No!The butterfly was the size of a bat. 23 00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,061 Another crocodile over there. 24 00:01:30,096 --> 00:01:33,036 It's not a crocodile, it's a lump of wood. 25 00:01:33,071 --> 00:01:35,061 Bird! Bird! 26 00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:39,064 We're close to the Equator. We'revery close. Perhaps we're on it! 27 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,001 No, we'd see a big dotted line. 28 00:01:41,036 --> 00:01:44,084 'And we weren't the only fish out of water. ' 29 00:01:45,084 --> 00:01:48,036 It jumped in the boat! It jumped in the boat! 30 00:01:48,071 --> 00:01:51,032 In the boat!I've got it with my knife! 31 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:54,017 Ha-ha! Is that a piranha? 32 00:01:54,052 --> 00:01:56,049 It's not a piranha, they're long and thin. 33 00:01:56,084 --> 00:02:00,020 They're not! No, they're not!They are! They're short and fat! 34 00:02:00,055 --> 00:02:01,028 Oh, that's sharks. 35 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,028 'Eventually, the boat dumped the three worst explorers in history 36 00:02:08,063 --> 00:02:10,064 'on a bank, in the middle of nowhere... 37 00:02:10,099 --> 00:02:11,053 'and left. ' 38 00:02:11,088 --> 00:02:15,068 Have we just been abandoned here to die? Whoa-whoa! What is it, what? 39 00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:18,096 Are those zips?! Well, they're outdoor trousers. 40 00:02:18,131 --> 00:02:20,997 You can unzip the bottoms?! Yes! 41 00:02:21,032 --> 00:02:25,026 I'm sorry, on the kit front, chaps... James, what's all this? 42 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:28,558 This is my belt of many things. What is that? Don't touch it. 43 00:02:28,593 --> 00:02:32,056 That's a dental healthcare kit. What's this? Don't touch it! 44 00:02:32,091 --> 00:02:34,028 That is a shoe-polishing kit. 45 00:02:34,063 --> 00:02:35,017 What?! 46 00:02:35,052 --> 00:02:39,061 A shoe-polishing kit! Thank God for that If we get hungry, we can eat his Kiwi boot polish! 47 00:02:39,096 --> 00:02:44,048 Basically, what you've done is buy a "My First Explorer" kit, put it on your belt... Don't touch it. 48 00:02:44,083 --> 00:02:47,004 'Hammond then revealed a little secret. ' 49 00:02:47,039 --> 00:02:49,031 So all these insects, where are they? 50 00:02:49,066 --> 00:02:51,024 Why, are you frightened of insects? 51 00:02:51,059 --> 00:02:52,985 Yeah. Are you? Yeah. Really? 52 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:55,048 Don't mess about. Seriously, I am. It's a phobia. 53 00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,053 It's like you and heights. 54 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:59,080 It's not you're scared of falling off, it's a phobia. 55 00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:02,037 You are scared of heights. This is the same, it's a phobia. 56 00:03:02,072 --> 00:03:06,036 I just don't... What's yours? Phobia?Manual labour, you know that. 57 00:03:06,071 --> 00:03:08,029 That's not a phobia, that's bone idleness. 58 00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:12,008 Rubbish! That's not a clinical thing, that's just cos you're lazy. 59 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:18,096 'Since we didn't know what to do, we just sat down and did nothing. ' 60 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:22,048 I'm sure there's spiders in here, there will be. Shh. 61 00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:24,000 What? 62 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,044 Is that... Uh-oh... in harmony with nature? 63 00:03:27,079 --> 00:03:30,084 Stop playing ethnic tunes. Boys... 64 00:03:30,119 --> 00:03:31,088 Cars. 65 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,001 'Plainly, there had been a terrible mix-up 66 00:03:44,036 --> 00:03:47,044 'because one of the cars on the raft was a little Suzuki. 67 00:03:47,079 --> 00:03:50,037 'None of us would have been that daft. 68 00:03:50,072 --> 00:03:53,076 'But then we remembered... James was with us. ' 69 00:03:54,076 --> 00:03:58,001 1.3 litre... 1.3 litre!.. Wine bar specials. 70 00:03:58,036 --> 00:04:01,024 Famous for being able to stay on their own four wheels... 71 00:04:01,059 --> 00:04:02,049 No, no, no. Falling over. 72 00:04:02,084 --> 00:04:06,036 I presume then the Land Cruiser, by power of deduction, is yours. 73 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,981 Yes, it is. Correct choice, everyone will agree. 74 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:13,048 And you have, if my eyes are not deceiving me, a Range Rover. 75 00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:16,989 The best 4x4, by far, as we know. 76 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:21,036 I had one of those. Yeah, classic. I had one as well. Yeah. 77 00:04:21,071 --> 00:04:24,056 Did yours ever... work? No. 78 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,061 How is that raft steering itself? 79 00:04:27,096 --> 00:04:29,965 There's a little boat behind it, look. 80 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:34,064 'The driver of the little boat pushed the raft vaguely near the bank... ' 81 00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:38,008 Right. Well, we can get... No, don't do that, we need to get it... 82 00:04:38,043 --> 00:04:40,033 '.. and then went home. ' 83 00:04:40,068 --> 00:04:43,040 Is that him just gone? Yep. 84 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:46,012 Oi! You haven't parked it! 85 00:04:49,024 --> 00:04:54,040 'We tried to pull the raft nearer to the bank but it was very difficult. ' 86 00:04:54,075 --> 00:04:57,012 Heave! It's not moving! 87 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:57,981 'So we gave up. ' 88 00:04:58,016 --> 00:05:00,000 That's it, lads. Up the gang plank. 89 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,013 Ow! There's a thing there. 90 00:05:03,048 --> 00:05:07,084 We are good. It's like literallybeing with Livingstone... Yeah. 91 00:05:07,119 --> 00:05:08,593 .. and... 92 00:05:08,628 --> 00:05:10,033 THEY LAUGH 93 00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:14,032 Do you want a hand up? Help!Probably quite painful! 94 00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:16,057 It was. Don't worry, I'm all right. 95 00:05:16,092 --> 00:05:20,061 'Eventually, even Indiana Clarkson was onboard 96 00:05:20,096 --> 00:05:23,056 'so we could get our first look at what we'd bought 97 00:05:23,091 --> 00:05:25,013 'from the Bolivian classifieds. ' 98 00:05:25,048 --> 00:05:29,540 Notoriously long-lived, sturdy, reliable, small, agile. 99 00:05:29,575 --> 00:05:33,997 What does it say in the advert in the Bolivian Auto Trader? 100 00:05:34,032 --> 00:05:36,092 I'll tell you what it did show in the picture. That it was blue. 101 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,061 THEY LAUGH 102 00:05:37,096 --> 00:05:42,028 Did it say, in the advert, that all four tyres would be pumped up? 103 00:05:42,063 --> 00:05:44,993 No. HE LAUGHS 104 00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:47,061 Oh, bloody hell. We did buy these long distance. 105 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:51,084 'The only thing saggier than my tyre was Hammond's roof. 106 00:05:51,119 --> 00:05:53,607 It wasn't always a convertible, was it? 107 00:05:53,642 --> 00:05:56,061 No, it's been converted to a convertible. 108 00:05:56,096 --> 00:06:00,036 It's been converted by someone who is A, of Spanish descent 109 00:06:00,071 --> 00:06:01,013 and B, a communist. 110 00:06:01,048 --> 00:06:03,060 It's a tasty car all round. I'm very pleased. 111 00:06:03,095 --> 00:06:04,973 I like the see-through... 112 00:06:05,008 --> 00:06:08,084 I like this. The window's not here, it's here and there's no winder. 113 00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:10,057 I don't need one, it's hot. 114 00:06:10,092 --> 00:06:13,965 'To demonstrate what fools the others had been, 115 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:18,048 'I showed them the beating heart of my mighty Ranger Rover. ' 116 00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:24,049 Behold, gentlemen,the 3.9 litre V8 engine. Ahem. 117 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:28,052 3.9, yeah? 3.9. They had injection, didn't they, Hammond, the 3.9? 118 00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:30,072 Yes. All of them were fuel-injected. 119 00:06:30,107 --> 00:06:31,061 What are those on top? 120 00:06:31,096 --> 00:06:35,060 I believe they're carburettors. They look like carburettors. 121 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:39,024 BLEEP. They ARE carburettors. They are carburettors, yeah. 122 00:06:39,059 --> 00:06:41,057 That can't be a 3.9, mate, that's a 3.5! 123 00:06:41,092 --> 00:06:44,076 It said in the advert is was a 3.9! It said mine was blue. 124 00:06:44,111 --> 00:06:46,005 OK, so there's some issues. 125 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,025 You'll be opening the bonnet a lot. I won't. 126 00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:51,989 You will! That's what killed these off, globally. Why does everywhere, 127 00:06:52,024 --> 00:06:56,048 all over the world, anywhere difficult and inhospitable use a Toyota Land Cruiser? 128 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,005 First Aztec bird we come across, 129 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,056 she'll make a bee-line for me in this. 130 00:07:00,091 --> 00:07:01,989 Yeah, OK. 131 00:07:02,024 --> 00:07:07,060 'We could've continued arguing, but we had to leap ashore... ' 132 00:07:07,095 --> 00:07:09,009 'Well, come on, then. ' 133 00:07:09,044 --> 00:07:12,044 '.. Because our challenge had arrived. ' 134 00:07:12,079 --> 00:07:13,045 Thank you very much. 135 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,997 OK. It says, "You are in Bolivia. 136 00:07:18,032 --> 00:07:23,072 "And you will drive to the Pacific Ocean, which is 1,000 miles away. " 137 00:07:23,107 --> 00:07:27,056 So we have to go 1,000 miles. There's a jungle in the way. 138 00:07:29,028 --> 00:07:31,061 And the jungle would just be the start of it, 139 00:07:31,096 --> 00:07:35,096 because on our journey we'd have to negotiate active volcanoes, 140 00:07:35,131 --> 00:07:40,076 utterly lifeless deserts and perilous mountain passes. 141 00:07:43,048 --> 00:07:47,036 But before all that, we had to get our cars off the raft. 142 00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:51,028 Which, as you can plainly see, would not be easy. 143 00:07:51,063 --> 00:07:53,031 Clearly! 144 00:07:53,066 --> 00:07:55,000 Oh, come on! 145 00:07:57,020 --> 00:07:59,096 'Trying to move the raft soon led to a problem. ' 146 00:07:59,131 --> 00:08:01,091 Holy moly! 147 00:08:01,126 --> 00:08:03,017 I am sinking. 148 00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:06,041 Yeah. It's getting deeper!Pull yourself out. 149 00:08:06,076 --> 00:08:09,076 I cannot pull myself out. Every time the bubbles come out, 150 00:08:09,111 --> 00:08:11,013 you go in deeper. I know! 151 00:08:11,048 --> 00:08:15,012 That's brilliant! Oh, God, no. 152 00:08:15,047 --> 00:08:17,025 THEY LAUGH 153 00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:18,061 As I sank into the ooze, 154 00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:21,556 my colleagues became increasingly concerned. 155 00:08:21,591 --> 00:08:24,981 His plums are in the Amazon, look! THEY LAUGH 156 00:08:25,016 --> 00:08:28,056 Go and get a rope or something, just to tie around my waist. 157 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,989 All right, we'll get something. 158 00:08:30,024 --> 00:08:33,033 'Eventually, and rather reluctantly, 159 00:08:33,068 --> 00:08:36,040 'they decided to pull me out with my Range Rover. ' 160 00:08:36,075 --> 00:08:38,573 Hammond! Yes!What are you bloody doing? 161 00:08:38,608 --> 00:08:41,072 You want a proper knot, don't you? No! 162 00:08:41,107 --> 00:08:42,599 Just any old knot. 163 00:08:42,634 --> 00:08:44,331 Will it start? 164 00:08:44,366 --> 00:08:46,028 ENGINE STALLS 165 00:08:46,063 --> 00:08:46,997 Oh. 166 00:08:47,032 --> 00:08:48,969 ENGINE STALLS Start! 167 00:08:49,004 --> 00:08:51,034 You brought the wrong car. 168 00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:53,064 ENGINE STARTS Ah-ha-ha-ha! 169 00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,081 Backwards! 170 00:08:55,116 --> 00:08:57,029 Pull. Pull. 171 00:08:57,064 --> 00:09:00,092 You coming up? Yes! Oh, yes! 172 00:09:00,127 --> 00:09:01,969 Ow! Say when. 173 00:09:02,004 --> 00:09:03,033 All right. Here we go. Yes. 174 00:09:03,068 --> 00:09:06,012 Ow, my arm parts. Is it loose enough? 175 00:09:06,047 --> 00:09:07,045 Yes. Stop, stop, stop. 176 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,981 Stop. So, as we can see, my car's best. 177 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:13,028 Well, it didn't let you down there, when it really mattered. 178 00:09:13,063 --> 00:09:16,008 'Trying to move the raft had resulted in nothing more 179 00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:19,016 'than some muddy tide-marks on my trousers. ' 180 00:09:19,051 --> 00:09:21,016 My jeans are ruined! 181 00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:26,024 And so, with half the day gone, we had to come up with a new plan. 182 00:09:26,059 --> 00:09:30,032 You know, in the Second World War, when a submarine was grounded? 183 00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:31,049 When it had hit the bottom? 184 00:09:31,084 --> 00:09:36,080 They used to get the crew to run backwards and forwards and it would sort of shuffle it along. 185 00:09:36,115 --> 00:09:39,016 Are you suggesting we run backwards and forwards? 186 00:09:39,051 --> 00:09:40,997 No, no, no! Use the cars. 187 00:09:41,032 --> 00:09:43,017 If we go right to the back of the boat, 188 00:09:43,052 --> 00:09:45,993 that weighs the back down and lifts the front up. 189 00:09:46,028 --> 00:09:50,036 We then charge forward. The act of doing that will shuffle the boat 190 00:09:50,071 --> 00:09:52,092 nearer to that bank. That's a good idea! 191 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:57,056 'All we needed to do, then, was back our cars up a bit. ' 192 00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:02,064 Oh, no. Hammond!Has anybody got any jump leads? 193 00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:04,057 Seriously? You're joking. It won't start. 194 00:10:04,092 --> 00:10:08,013 Just want to get this completely clear again. 195 00:10:08,048 --> 00:10:12,016 Range Rover - starting, working well. Already saved a man's life. 196 00:10:12,051 --> 00:10:14,092 Land Cruiser - broken down. 197 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,000 Oh, smoke! Smoke, smoke, quite a lot of smoke. Something's on fire! 198 00:10:20,035 --> 00:10:21,025 The starter motor's burn out. 199 00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:24,044 'Despite using the correct technique, 200 00:10:24,079 --> 00:10:27,028 'Hammond couldn't get his car going. ' 201 00:10:27,063 --> 00:10:28,017 It's on fire again! 202 00:10:28,052 --> 00:10:32,973 And so, with the sun sinking, I offered to help. 203 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:36,004 Why don't we simply attach it to the back of the Range Rover 204 00:10:36,039 --> 00:10:37,021 and I'll you a pull from here? 205 00:10:37,056 --> 00:10:41,072 Because I'd rather drown myself, but, yeah, it's... All right! 206 00:10:44,032 --> 00:10:46,041 What's that noise? 207 00:10:46,076 --> 00:10:49,985 Insects! Massive insects. Millions of them. 208 00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:53,004 Just hurry up, quickly!All right, move forwards. 209 00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:53,973 Mind your head! 210 00:10:54,008 --> 00:10:56,009 'As the light faded, we lined up 211 00:10:56,044 --> 00:11:00,020 'for the most ambitious jump-start in history. ' 212 00:11:00,055 --> 00:11:02,993 And... stop. 213 00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:07,016 Three, two, one, go! 214 00:11:12,016 --> 00:11:13,053 Sorry! What did you do that for?! 215 00:11:13,088 --> 00:11:17,000 My breaks aren't very good! Did it work? No. 216 00:11:17,035 --> 00:11:18,048 Try again! 217 00:11:24,068 --> 00:11:26,076 What happened? Nothing. 218 00:11:26,111 --> 00:11:29,012 And... stop. 219 00:11:30,096 --> 00:11:34,036 Three, two, one, go. 220 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,048 Try again! That's the good thing about Range Rovers, 221 00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:42,053 they can do this all night. 222 00:11:42,088 --> 00:11:46,016 Yes, yes. When this thing starts, it'll brilliant. 223 00:11:48,092 --> 00:11:51,068 'The morning light revealed our progress. ' 224 00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:58,044 Sitrep... Everything we tried in the night didn't work. 225 00:11:58,079 --> 00:12:00,021 But we have found peanuts. 226 00:12:00,056 --> 00:12:04,045 'Rather embarrassingly, James then discovered something. ' 227 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:08,048 These planks are longer than that one you've been falling down constantly. 228 00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:10,589 If you get in here and grab the other end... 229 00:12:10,624 --> 00:12:13,061 Are they long enough to...? Two together will. 230 00:12:13,096 --> 00:12:19,020 'Soon, we had a ramp and our first car was ready to disembark. ' 231 00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:21,060 Watch the long-haired man. 232 00:12:24,048 --> 00:12:27,028 Let's see his back wheels on. Don't stand there. 233 00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:30,008 Do you want us to help you? You're all right. 234 00:12:30,043 --> 00:12:31,072 You're all right this side. 235 00:12:31,107 --> 00:12:33,052 You're all right. 236 00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:34,989 Yes! 237 00:12:35,024 --> 00:12:39,024 Oh! Four-wheel drive! It is four-wheel drive, you half-wit. 238 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,051 Well, why are the front wheels not doing anything? 239 00:12:42,086 --> 00:12:45,044 Don't tell me they don't work. Try again! Say when... 240 00:12:45,079 --> 00:12:47,051 OK! It's not good! 241 00:12:47,086 --> 00:12:48,989 That's stuck now. 242 00:12:49,024 --> 00:12:53,016 'The whole weight of James' three-wheel drive Suzuki 243 00:12:53,051 --> 00:12:55,025 'was resting on our ramp. 244 00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:57,088 'So we had to build another one. ' 245 00:12:58,088 --> 00:13:00,969 You're all right. Right. 246 00:13:01,004 --> 00:13:03,032 Range Rover, British engineering, don't let me down. 247 00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:05,020 To the left. 248 00:13:08,056 --> 00:13:10,060 Poo is coming out. 249 00:13:10,095 --> 00:13:12,088 Here we go! 250 00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:21,012 Now that's what I call four-wheel drive! 251 00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:23,981 Having rescued a man from the ooze, 252 00:13:24,016 --> 00:13:28,020 the mighty Range Rover would now rescue the Suzuki. 253 00:13:28,055 --> 00:13:29,969 There's only an ounce to pull. 254 00:13:30,004 --> 00:13:33,036 Please be gentle with this, Jeremy, and not a yob. 255 00:13:33,071 --> 00:13:34,048 Power! 256 00:13:37,032 --> 00:13:39,068 Got him. Stop, stop, stop! 257 00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:41,028 Yes, that's it! 258 00:13:43,028 --> 00:13:45,009 What a pillock! 259 00:13:45,044 --> 00:13:48,008 'I then lined up to pull the brakeless, 260 00:13:48,043 --> 00:13:50,080 'powerless Toyota down the ramp. ' 261 00:13:52,028 --> 00:13:55,548 We were supposed to be averaging 100 miles a day. 262 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:59,068 So far, we've done, well, I've done, about 20 feet. 263 00:14:02,056 --> 00:14:03,029 Ready? 264 00:14:03,064 --> 00:14:05,068 No. Right, he's ready. Gently. 265 00:14:05,103 --> 00:14:07,040 Oh, dear God. 266 00:14:07,075 --> 00:14:08,052 Go. 267 00:14:22,044 --> 00:14:23,056 Ha, ha, ha! 268 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,993 'Finally, we were all off the raft. 269 00:14:27,028 --> 00:14:31,032 'And, as a reward, the producers gave us a box of things 270 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:34,068 'to help us survive the perils that lay ahead. ' 271 00:14:35,096 --> 00:14:38,029 Chainsaw. That's good, that's useful. 272 00:14:38,064 --> 00:14:41,076 What is this? I know what that is, that's a winch. 273 00:14:41,111 --> 00:14:43,009 Some rubber tubing. 274 00:14:43,044 --> 00:14:47,056 Durex. Condoms? Vaseline. 275 00:14:47,091 --> 00:14:49,977 Tampax... and... 276 00:14:50,012 --> 00:14:52,053 Viagra. I know we're gonna be in the jungle together, 277 00:14:52,088 --> 00:14:56,016 but that's a bit extreme. What kind of party are they planning? 278 00:14:56,051 --> 00:14:58,072 'We loaded up the Ann Summers box... ' 279 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,029 '.. jump started Hammond's car... ' 280 00:15:02,064 --> 00:15:06,036 Yee-ha! Is that working?Now you're gonna see! 281 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,557 Go! Fire it up! Jungle! 282 00:15:08,592 --> 00:15:11,044 '.. and got cracking. ' 283 00:15:17,088 --> 00:15:20,024 'The jungle was a worthy adversary. ' 284 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:24,040 Oh! 285 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:30,000 'But, for hour after hour, we battled our way through. ' 286 00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:36,062 Do you want more? 287 00:15:36,097 --> 00:15:38,040 This is the marker! 288 00:15:40,028 --> 00:15:43,092 Rainforest. Shit. Good job! 289 00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:53,020 Guys... I left my phone down by the river. 290 00:15:53,055 --> 00:15:54,029 Oh, God. 291 00:15:54,064 --> 00:15:57,024 Dipstick. I'm going to have to go and get it. 292 00:15:57,059 --> 00:15:59,056 Just wait here, I'll go get it. 293 00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:00,029 Take care. 294 00:16:00,064 --> 00:16:06,008 Oh! Oh, mate. Finally, we are making progress. 295 00:16:06,043 --> 00:16:07,997 Hammond! Yeah? 296 00:16:08,032 --> 00:16:10,057 Did I leave it on that rock? 297 00:16:10,092 --> 00:16:15,012 No, it was on the stump I tied the raft too. Just by the rock. 298 00:16:15,047 --> 00:16:16,013 OK, got it! OK. 299 00:16:16,048 --> 00:16:17,041 Got it. Good. Let's move! 300 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:20,056 Now we're making progress, let's keep up the momentum. 301 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:24,009 'Soon, we found a logging track 302 00:16:24,044 --> 00:16:27,000 'where finally we could get to know our cars. ' 303 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,538 Time to find out what is working on my Range Rover. 304 00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:35,076 All these dials in the middle made by Smiths - so, no. 305 00:16:35,111 --> 00:16:37,084 Speedo, no. 306 00:16:38,096 --> 00:16:42,088 The Range Rover was designed by a man called Charles Spencer-King, 307 00:16:42,123 --> 00:16:44,985 who was, no question, a genius. 308 00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:49,528 Unfortunately, it was then made in the Midlands, 309 00:16:49,563 --> 00:16:54,815 just "that'll do". Everything was "that'll do". 310 00:16:54,850 --> 00:17:00,068 An UNBELIEVABLE piece of design, ruined by minkies. 311 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,985 That said, however, 312 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:07,044 I seem to have bought the only 1980s Range Rover in the world that works. 313 00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:15,012 Given that Land Cruisers are legendarily reliable and bulletproof, 314 00:17:15,047 --> 00:17:16,993 this one isn't. 315 00:17:17,028 --> 00:17:22,012 Oil pressure gauge, not working. Temperature gauge, not working. 316 00:17:22,047 --> 00:17:24,051 Fuel gauge... dunno. 317 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,021 Brakes not working. 318 00:17:26,056 --> 00:17:28,017 That makes this one more special. 319 00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:33,052 I have bought the only malfunctioning Land Cruiser in the world. 320 00:17:33,087 --> 00:17:37,048 And it is unique and therefore probably priceless. 321 00:17:41,004 --> 00:17:43,045 'Sure, my Suzuki only had three-wheel drive, 322 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:47,016 'but I wasn't going to let that tiny detail spoil the day. ' 323 00:17:48,088 --> 00:17:51,037 You're probably looking at this Suzuki and thinking, 324 00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:55,052 "It's small and comical, it's a toy off-road, it's for hairdressers," 325 00:17:55,087 --> 00:17:59,032 And all the rest of it, but I'll tell you what it is - it's plucky. 326 00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:01,009 It's a bit like Finland in the war. 327 00:18:01,044 --> 00:18:04,068 Look at Jeremy's Range Rover lumbering along 328 00:18:04,103 --> 00:18:06,033 this great, heavy beast of burden. 329 00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:10,032 this is like a little mountain goat, it just skips along. 'May?' 330 00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:12,973 Talk of the devil. Hello. 331 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:15,973 Just to let you know, one of your rear lights is hanging off, 332 00:18:16,008 --> 00:18:19,032 but it's OK, I can mend it for you with a small Phillips on my belt. 333 00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:23,032 The voice there of the missing member of Van Halen. 334 00:18:31,088 --> 00:18:34,057 'Darkness fell, but the temperature didn't. ' 335 00:18:34,092 --> 00:18:39,078 How can it be this hot at midnight? How's that possible? 336 00:18:39,113 --> 00:18:44,064 'Hammond, however, had more to worry about than the heat. ' 337 00:18:44,099 --> 00:18:46,049 Ow! What the BLEEP is that? 338 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:51,056 There's something in here squeaking at me, I'm... Oh, ho! 339 00:18:51,091 --> 00:18:53,041 Bleurgh! Ah! 340 00:18:53,076 --> 00:18:57,028 Oh! OH! What is that?! 341 00:18:57,063 --> 00:18:58,981 Oh! BLEEP. 342 00:18:59,016 --> 00:19:02,096 I can't stand that! I can't stand that! I've gotta get out! 343 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,993 'Blashford-Hammond insisted we made camp, 344 00:19:07,028 --> 00:19:10,052 'where, to cheer him up, I read him some bedtime stories. ' 345 00:19:11,052 --> 00:19:13,993 This is a book about all the creatures 346 00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:18,020 that live in the rainforest that Mr Sting hasn't told us about. 347 00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:21,064 Would you like to hear about the... 348 00:19:21,099 --> 00:19:24,012 Brazilian Wandering Spider? 349 00:19:24,047 --> 00:19:25,981 Not really, no. 350 00:19:26,016 --> 00:19:30,020 "Causes around five human fatalities a year... 351 00:19:30,055 --> 00:19:32,012 "lives on the forest floor. " 352 00:19:33,012 --> 00:19:34,552 SCREECHING 353 00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:36,057 What is that? 354 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:40,068 Head torch. I'm looking for... What's it called? Wandering Spider. 355 00:19:40,103 --> 00:19:43,028 Ooh, the botfly. Now, this is a marvellous thing. 356 00:19:43,063 --> 00:19:45,072 "The botfly cannot sting a human directly, 357 00:19:45,107 --> 00:19:47,009 "but catches smaller insects, 358 00:19:47,044 --> 00:19:50,556 "lays its larvae upon them and then releases them. 359 00:19:50,591 --> 00:19:53,833 "If the smaller, host insect then bites the human, 360 00:19:53,868 --> 00:19:57,076 "the botfly larvae are impregnated into the skin. 361 00:19:57,111 --> 00:19:59,997 "The larvae then pupates inside the skin, 362 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:04,026 "at which point they EAT their way out and fly away. 363 00:20:04,061 --> 00:20:07,554 "The BBC Natural History Unit reports the case of a man 364 00:20:07,589 --> 00:20:11,013 "who was bitten behind the ear and kept awake at night 365 00:20:11,048 --> 00:20:15,068 "by the sound of the botfly larvae eating the flesh inside his head. " 366 00:20:16,068 --> 00:20:19,012 'Hammond didn't have a good night. ' 367 00:20:19,047 --> 00:20:20,527 What's that? 368 00:20:20,562 --> 00:20:21,801 Argh! Argh! 369 00:20:21,836 --> 00:20:23,005 Stick insect! 370 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,036 There's big things on my head! 371 00:20:25,071 --> 00:20:26,005 Oh, what is that?! 372 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,064 There's something just flew in my hair and it's squeaking at me! 373 00:20:29,099 --> 00:20:31,024 It's big! It's really... 374 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:36,092 'And, to be honest, he didn't have a great morning either. ' 375 00:20:36,127 --> 00:20:39,036 Who has done this?! 376 00:20:43,016 --> 00:20:48,004 'To get away from the creepy-crawlies, I sought refuge in my car. ' 377 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:51,033 OK. Guys? 378 00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:53,969 Ooh. There is a snake in your car. 379 00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,021 He's coming up here. He's coming up here. 380 00:20:56,056 --> 00:20:59,088 It's known locally as "the big vicious killer snake. " 381 00:20:59,123 --> 00:21:01,021 Thanks. 382 00:21:01,056 --> 00:21:07,052 Our raggedy convoy hit the trail with Hammond still moaning. 383 00:21:07,087 --> 00:21:08,037 Who's got my trouser-leg? 384 00:21:08,072 --> 00:21:10,025 Has your trouser-leg gone missing? 385 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:17,016 'We soldiered on with the Range Rover up front, forging a path through the dense jungle. ' 386 00:21:17,051 --> 00:21:21,076 Look at it - rescuing other cars, ploughing through here. 387 00:21:21,111 --> 00:21:25,080 My sweat being soaked up by the floor! 388 00:21:28,016 --> 00:21:32,008 But soon, the strain of point duty began to show. 389 00:21:32,043 --> 00:21:37,024 This is now smelling hot, this car. 390 00:21:39,008 --> 00:21:45,000 I can smell Jeremy's Range Rover from back here - it smells of imminent failure. 391 00:21:45,035 --> 00:21:46,008 'I was right. ' 392 00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:52,000 Range Rover's just stopped working. 393 00:21:57,044 --> 00:22:01,009 That honestly wasn't very funny three series ago and it's not funny now. 394 00:22:01,044 --> 00:22:05,076 I'm not doing it on purpose. No, I haven't got any brakes. That's how I stop. 395 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:13,008 Oh, no. Oh... No. James, it's over-heated. 396 00:22:13,043 --> 00:22:14,088 What a rotten bit of luck. 397 00:22:14,123 --> 00:22:17,005 Missing! Broken! 398 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:22,017 Your fault, because I have been forging a path through this stuff. 399 00:22:22,052 --> 00:22:26,052 Bamboo has gone into it and broken my fan and now my engine's overheating. 400 00:22:26,087 --> 00:22:30,029 The plucky Brit has wounded itself helping you out. 401 00:22:30,064 --> 00:22:34,041 Your plucky British car has been defeated by... What was it? Bamboo? 402 00:22:34,076 --> 00:22:40,068 How did it get in there? What kind of design is it if a piece of bamboo can get in there and break the fan? 403 00:22:40,103 --> 00:22:41,985 Bamboo?! 404 00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:44,969 Without this, would you still be on the boat? 405 00:22:45,004 --> 00:22:48,004 Yes, you would. Yes. You would still be on the river-bank. 406 00:22:48,039 --> 00:22:49,973 This is the hero of the day. 407 00:22:50,008 --> 00:22:56,024 We passed the time by bickering until the engine had cooled down. 408 00:22:56,059 --> 00:22:59,016 I love the V8 rumble. Nice. 409 00:22:59,051 --> 00:23:01,045 It's very mighty. 410 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,040 ENGINE STARTS 411 00:23:04,032 --> 00:23:05,005 Yes! 412 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:09,028 The mighty Spitfire is down, but not out. 413 00:23:12,008 --> 00:23:14,060 'We battled on through the undergrowth. ' 414 00:23:16,068 --> 00:23:18,036 There, that's a gear. 415 00:23:30,020 --> 00:23:32,068 We did that without breaking anything. 416 00:23:32,103 --> 00:23:34,088 Whoa! 417 00:23:40,024 --> 00:23:43,036 'Eventually, Hammond and May stopped. ' 418 00:23:44,084 --> 00:23:46,025 Sorry! 419 00:23:46,060 --> 00:23:50,012 Because we had reached a small gully. 420 00:23:50,047 --> 00:23:51,068 That's pretty steep. 421 00:23:51,103 --> 00:23:52,037 What?! 422 00:23:52,072 --> 00:23:57,012 That's a bit of a gully, I think they call it. I'm just going todrive down and out the other side. 423 00:23:57,047 --> 00:23:58,017 No. You can't. 424 00:23:58,052 --> 00:24:01,064 What is the biggest strength with the Range Rover? 425 00:24:01,099 --> 00:24:04,076 The wheel hits the bottom before the front of the car. 426 00:24:04,111 --> 00:24:07,037 If you look at a Porsche Cayenne or your car, 427 00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:10,024 there's about 18 feet of car in front of the wheels. 428 00:24:10,059 --> 00:24:12,076 This car cannot do that. It won't make... 429 00:24:12,111 --> 00:24:15,096 I'm going down. You two, stand back. 430 00:24:15,131 --> 00:24:17,965 Watch and learn. 431 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,008 If you believe something will happen, it will happen. 432 00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:24,039 Low range. That was reverse. 433 00:24:24,074 --> 00:24:26,036 Pointless handbrake off. 434 00:24:35,008 --> 00:24:36,009 Oh, Lord. 435 00:24:36,044 --> 00:24:38,033 Oh, brilliant. 436 00:24:38,068 --> 00:24:40,064 Yeah, so you're now stuck in a whole. 437 00:24:40,099 --> 00:24:43,017 Just lock the diffs. Just... 438 00:24:43,052 --> 00:24:47,985 You great, dozy, woolly-haired pillock. 439 00:24:48,020 --> 00:24:51,000 It needs to be winched out. I knew that a while back. 440 00:24:51,035 --> 00:24:54,008 'I fired up the winch on my Suzuki. ' 441 00:24:54,043 --> 00:24:57,048 James, winch me up. 442 00:24:57,083 --> 00:24:59,057 Is it moving? 443 00:24:59,092 --> 00:25:02,048 It's coming. It's trying hard. 444 00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:04,017 Come on. 445 00:25:04,052 --> 00:25:07,041 It is coming free. 446 00:25:07,076 --> 00:25:11,092 Uh, guys? Oh, my God. Uh, James. It won't stop. 447 00:25:15,012 --> 00:25:16,021 That didn't work. 448 00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:20,076 Go on, then. Drive it out. It won't drive out. It just won't. 449 00:25:20,111 --> 00:25:23,064 'Mystic Hammond was right. ' 450 00:25:31,004 --> 00:25:32,989 That nearly worked. 451 00:25:33,024 --> 00:25:35,977 'At last, my Toyota could regain some dignity. 452 00:25:36,012 --> 00:25:40,012 'First pulling out the Suzuki and then the idiot's Range Rover. ' 453 00:25:42,092 --> 00:25:46,016 Whoa! I'm hanging. 454 00:25:51,052 --> 00:25:55,096 Look at my little donkey pulling the Range Rover out. 455 00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:00,052 'We realised we'd have to build a bridge, 456 00:26:00,087 --> 00:26:03,084 'which made one of us very excited. ' 457 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,087 I am the god of hellfire. 458 00:26:05,122 --> 00:26:07,056 Has he got a chainsaw? 459 00:26:07,091 --> 00:26:08,092 CHAINSAW STARTS 460 00:26:08,127 --> 00:26:09,593 Oh, yes! 461 00:26:09,628 --> 00:26:11,060 Oh, God! 462 00:26:18,060 --> 00:26:22,024 'We set about building our bridge. 463 00:26:27,032 --> 00:26:33,044 'And since James had the lightest car, Jeremy and I decided he should go first. ' 464 00:26:33,079 --> 00:26:39,016 I declare this ready, steady, strong. Get in your car and drive over. 465 00:26:43,032 --> 00:26:44,061 Left! 466 00:26:44,096 --> 00:26:49,072 Looks like your back wheels are beautiful, actually. 467 00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:51,025 I think you're about right from this side. 468 00:26:51,060 --> 00:26:55,072 'What James really needed at this point was clear instructions from us two. ' 469 00:26:55,107 --> 00:26:59,008 If anything, a little bit left. Little bit left, James. 470 00:26:59,043 --> 00:27:01,048 I'm sorry. On this side, I would say, not left. 471 00:27:01,083 --> 00:27:03,017 Left or right? 472 00:27:03,052 --> 00:27:07,032 James, what I'd do at this point is power. 473 00:27:07,067 --> 00:27:08,985 Maximum power. 474 00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:12,084 You're going to need to engage... There you go. There you go. 475 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:16,001 ENGINE REVS 476 00:27:16,036 --> 00:27:17,969 Now, we're talking. 477 00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:22,526 'Eventually, the three-wheel drive Suzuki made it. 478 00:27:22,561 --> 00:27:26,806 'So then, as night fell, it was Jeremy's turn, 479 00:27:26,841 --> 00:27:31,052 'in the much heavier and much wider Range Rover. ' 480 00:27:31,087 --> 00:27:33,037 Whoa! 481 00:27:33,072 --> 00:27:38,048 Left hand down. Think of it as going on the outer log on this side. 482 00:27:38,083 --> 00:27:42,004 It's not looking goodfrom where I am. No, I imagine not. 483 00:27:42,039 --> 00:27:43,985 I can't see the back wheel. 484 00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:48,000 It's all right. Keep going... I think. 485 00:27:48,035 --> 00:27:49,072 You're about to touch down. 486 00:27:54,076 --> 00:27:57,057 Nice work! Oh. 487 00:27:57,092 --> 00:28:00,049 God almighty, that was scary. 488 00:28:00,084 --> 00:28:04,076 'As I lined up, it was almost completely dark. ' 489 00:28:04,111 --> 00:28:08,068 Hammond, I'm afraid, we simply can't see anything. 490 00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:09,969 We don't know. 491 00:28:10,004 --> 00:28:13,024 Left a bit. This is quite frightening. 492 00:28:13,059 --> 00:28:14,973 Stop. 493 00:28:15,008 --> 00:28:17,072 Oh, I've got no brakes! 494 00:28:17,107 --> 00:28:19,020 Hang on. Hang on. 495 00:28:19,055 --> 00:28:20,056 Come on. 496 00:28:24,092 --> 00:28:27,078 Right, you've got the front wheels on, mate. 497 00:28:27,113 --> 00:28:30,064 Make it so. Let's see if it can make this verge. 498 00:28:30,099 --> 00:28:31,981 Lovely. 499 00:28:32,016 --> 00:28:36,024 Oh, that feels good. Ha! 500 00:28:38,048 --> 00:28:43,076 'We drove on through the night with the charms of the rainforest starting to wear quite thin. ' 501 00:28:43,111 --> 00:28:46,969 It is extraordinary if you think about it. 502 00:28:47,004 --> 00:28:51,016 In South America, there are no elephants, kangaroos, 503 00:28:51,051 --> 00:28:54,001 lions, hyenas, honey badgers. 504 00:28:54,036 --> 00:28:58,032 There's nothing interesting at all. It's all just insects designed 505 00:28:58,067 --> 00:29:04,000 to make you have a debilitating, agonising death. 506 00:29:04,035 --> 00:29:06,096 I'd love to know how hot this engine is. 507 00:29:06,131 --> 00:29:08,965 Very is what I'm thinking. 508 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,969 'So when we made camp that night, 509 00:29:14,004 --> 00:29:16,036 'I decided to cut some vents in the bonnet. ' 510 00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:25,024 Jeremy, my car's on fire. Well, put beer on it. 511 00:29:25,059 --> 00:29:29,021 There's a fire extinguisher in the car. 512 00:29:29,056 --> 00:29:32,074 You set my car on fire. I haven't got my glasses. 513 00:29:32,109 --> 00:29:35,092 Pull the bloody pin out. You burned my Toyota! 514 00:29:35,127 --> 00:29:38,016 Thank you. Yeah. 515 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:49,000 Right, day three... Four! 516 00:29:56,024 --> 00:30:00,096 Uh, it clings. 517 00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:03,040 OK. 518 00:30:04,092 --> 00:30:09,076 Ladies and gentlemen, David Lee Roth in the morning. Here he is. 519 00:30:09,111 --> 00:30:11,084 James? 520 00:30:15,012 --> 00:30:18,013 What we've done... Don't do that. 521 00:30:18,048 --> 00:30:21,092 What we've done is accidentally camped on a road. 522 00:30:21,127 --> 00:30:23,076 Who's this bloke on a bike? 523 00:30:23,111 --> 00:30:27,021 Morning. Morning. 524 00:30:27,056 --> 00:30:31,084 He's going to work and we're camping on the A1. 525 00:30:35,076 --> 00:30:37,092 Yup. 526 00:30:44,044 --> 00:30:48,096 I can't remember if I took my malaria pill this morning. 527 00:30:48,131 --> 00:30:52,048 If I were a girl, I'd be pregnant a lot. 528 00:30:52,092 --> 00:30:57,060 If you're watching this in smellovision, I apologise because the smell in here is disgusting. 529 00:30:57,095 --> 00:30:58,037 It's me. 530 00:30:58,072 --> 00:31:01,045 I absolutely reek! 531 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:05,040 Luckily, we then got a shower. 532 00:31:09,076 --> 00:31:12,041 Well, one of us did. 533 00:31:12,076 --> 00:31:19,084 Hammond? Yes. How wet are you getting in this rain? 534 00:31:19,119 --> 00:31:21,053 It's not bad, actually. 535 00:31:21,088 --> 00:31:24,993 It's quite a lot wetter here. 536 00:31:25,028 --> 00:31:28,044 How can the rain be heavier there that it is over here? 537 00:31:30,068 --> 00:31:32,028 That's a river. 538 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:38,013 'It was indeed a river and one that we'd have to cross 539 00:31:38,048 --> 00:31:44,012 'which meant that we'd have to use stuff from the Ann Summers chest to waterproof our cars. ' 540 00:31:44,047 --> 00:31:48,068 Right. These are condoms. Do you two need some time to yourselves? 541 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:54,001 Have you got those Tampax?Wh... What?! 542 00:31:54,036 --> 00:31:57,024 What are you planning? I'll tell you my big problem. 543 00:31:57,059 --> 00:32:00,012 It's my fuel filler cap. If water gets in there... 544 00:32:00,047 --> 00:32:01,559 You're in a lot of trouble. 545 00:32:01,594 --> 00:32:03,037 If I put a Tampax in there, 546 00:32:03,072 --> 00:32:06,076 it will expand width-ways and I've seen the adverts. 547 00:32:06,111 --> 00:32:09,053 I'll be able to go roller-blading with a poodle 548 00:32:09,088 --> 00:32:12,973 or drive a Range Rover through a river in the Amazon delta. 549 00:32:13,008 --> 00:32:18,036 James was suspiciously skilful with the Vaseline and the condoms. 550 00:32:18,071 --> 00:32:21,080 And soon, we were ready to enter the river. 551 00:32:23,084 --> 00:32:26,088 HE HUMS 552 00:32:30,064 --> 00:32:36,012 Now, do I follow in Hammond's wheel-marks on the basis that we know how deep it is, 553 00:32:36,047 --> 00:32:41,040 or do I think, "He's an incompetent fool and go somewhere else?" 554 00:32:41,075 --> 00:32:46,000 'As it turned out, I was an incompetent fool. ' 555 00:32:46,035 --> 00:32:47,084 That's looking DEEP! 556 00:32:47,119 --> 00:32:50,057 Oh-ho! 557 00:32:50,092 --> 00:32:53,032 Please, keep going. Little donkey, swim! 558 00:32:53,067 --> 00:32:57,965 Swim, swim. There you go. 559 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,985 This is when, suddenly, the Land Cruiser comes into its own. 560 00:33:02,020 --> 00:33:05,096 Yeah, there's maybe more comfortable things that will get you there, 561 00:33:05,131 --> 00:33:08,068 but the Land Cruiser will always get you home. 562 00:33:08,103 --> 00:33:10,569 Meanwhile... 563 00:33:10,604 --> 00:33:13,001 It's stopped! 564 00:33:13,036 --> 00:33:16,554 Aah! Water's coming in to my car. 565 00:33:16,589 --> 00:33:20,037 'This caused problems for James. ' 566 00:33:20,072 --> 00:33:23,057 You're going to have to go round the outside. 567 00:33:23,092 --> 00:33:27,084 Straight ahead there. I'll tell you when to go right hand down. 568 00:33:27,119 --> 00:33:29,076 Good. There. 569 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,548 Oh, God! 570 00:33:33,583 --> 00:33:35,981 Cock! 571 00:33:36,016 --> 00:33:38,981 Good, good. That's two. OK. 572 00:33:39,016 --> 00:33:42,017 Why did I listen to you, you imbecile! 573 00:33:42,052 --> 00:33:48,080 'Rather than accept another winch from the Toyota, the Range Rover decided to start on its own. ' 574 00:33:48,115 --> 00:33:52,024 ENGINE STARTS 575 00:33:52,059 --> 00:33:52,993 Ha-ha! 576 00:33:53,028 --> 00:33:59,084 'Thus removing the obstacle James had been trying to avoid when he got stuck. ' 577 00:33:59,119 --> 00:34:02,028 As far as I can work out, he's dragging it even deeper. 578 00:34:02,063 --> 00:34:04,981 HE LAUGHS 579 00:34:05,016 --> 00:34:06,064 Hoi, it's floating. 580 00:34:08,064 --> 00:34:11,032 There's a lot of bubbles came out of your petrol-filler cap. 581 00:34:11,067 --> 00:34:13,068 That's air. But they've been replaced with water. 582 00:34:13,103 --> 00:34:17,053 'This whole episode made James very angry. ' 583 00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:20,057 If you hadn't tried to be clever and if your car wasn't so unreliable, 584 00:34:20,092 --> 00:34:26,024 I wouldn't have had to go round the outside in my small off-roader and I wouldn't have sunk. 585 00:34:26,059 --> 00:34:29,088 Unreliable?! It stalled! It stalled!It started again. 586 00:34:29,123 --> 00:34:32,012 Mine will start again. 587 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,053 The rainforest is just getting worse. 588 00:34:36,088 --> 00:34:42,056 I'll tell you something, if you look over there, would you not think it's getting thinner? 589 00:34:48,060 --> 00:34:54,040 'It was and soon, our battered cars emerged from the trees. 590 00:34:54,075 --> 00:35:00,037 'At last, we were out of the spider-infested sweatbox. 591 00:35:00,072 --> 00:35:08,004 'But ten minutes later, James and Richard wished they were back in it. ' 592 00:35:11,092 --> 00:35:13,020 Oh, God! 593 00:35:17,068 --> 00:35:19,044 Stop it! 594 00:35:21,032 --> 00:35:26,004 Just answer me this simple question, how comfortable are you two right now? 595 00:35:27,044 --> 00:35:34,016 It's like a big, feather mattress. I really am... relaxing. Yeah. 596 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,969 Oh, Jesus! 597 00:35:38,004 --> 00:35:42,096 Have I broken James' spine? There will be two Ted Nugents in a minute. 598 00:35:44,036 --> 00:35:49,096 Oh, I'm so sick of that noise! Stop rattling at me! 599 00:35:52,044 --> 00:35:55,088 ♪ Oh, Grace, you're getting away with it 600 00:35:55,123 --> 00:35:58,601 ♪ Words but nothing to say with it 601 00:35:58,636 --> 00:36:01,858 ♪ Smile and take what you need 602 00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:05,045 ♪ In any way that you please 603 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:10,008 ♪ Grace, you're getting away with it... ♪ 604 00:36:18,064 --> 00:36:22,068 We spent the night in a town where there were baths and bedrooms 605 00:36:22,103 --> 00:36:25,012 and then we hit the road once more. 606 00:36:27,084 --> 00:36:30,072 Oh, here we are. This is cocaine country. 607 00:36:30,107 --> 00:36:33,080 Kate Moss's delicatessen. 608 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,981 Obviously we can't drive through this region 609 00:36:39,016 --> 00:36:43,076 without registering our disgust at the violent, reprehensible drugs trade 610 00:36:43,111 --> 00:36:46,024 that brings misery to so many millions. 611 00:36:53,068 --> 00:36:56,989 May, have you seen what Hammond has written on his car? 612 00:36:57,024 --> 00:37:00,060 Yeah, I don't think he's understood what we're trying to do here. 613 00:37:00,095 --> 00:37:04,965 Hammond, are you feeling ashamed of yourself? 614 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:10,096 There was an opportunity and I took it. But what about the untoldmisery to millions? 615 00:37:10,131 --> 00:37:15,004 "Untold misery to millions"? Are the ratings really that good? 616 00:37:15,039 --> 00:37:16,048 Ha ha ha. 617 00:37:19,028 --> 00:37:25,024 As we left town, we started to climb and that was a problem for the Range Rover. 618 00:37:25,059 --> 00:37:30,001 Every time we go up any form of gradient, for any period of time, 619 00:37:30,036 --> 00:37:36,028 the engine gets very, very warm. Still nothing's working apart from the demist. 620 00:37:36,063 --> 00:37:41,005 'Soon the engine became so hot, I had to get radical. ' 621 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:45,060 The scope of my engineering genius, literally, knows no bounds. 622 00:37:45,095 --> 00:37:49,072 Because, as you can see, the vents I cut in the bonnet 623 00:37:49,107 --> 00:37:51,017 are now windows. 624 00:37:51,052 --> 00:37:56,064 So I can see where I'm going, the engine is cool. All is well. 625 00:38:00,096 --> 00:38:04,025 Sooner or later, Jeremy has to admit that the Range Rover isn't working properly. 626 00:38:04,060 --> 00:38:12,056 We were only 110 miles from La Paz, but between us and it was the Camino Del Muerte - 627 00:38:12,091 --> 00:38:17,008 the death road - the most dangerous highway in the world. 628 00:38:20,020 --> 00:38:25,016 Over the years, the sheer, unguarded drops have claimed hundreds of lives. 629 00:38:26,064 --> 00:38:32,044 And to make matters worse, Captain Terrified-of-heights didn't really have the car for the job. 630 00:38:32,079 --> 00:38:33,993 James? Yes. 631 00:38:34,028 --> 00:38:38,001 I don't know about the rear suspension design on a Suzuki. 632 00:38:38,036 --> 00:38:42,036 The shock absorber is traditionally attached at both ends. That's not absorbing shocks. 633 00:38:42,071 --> 00:38:44,001 It's bouncing around on the spring. 634 00:38:44,036 --> 00:38:47,088 That does affect your control quite badly - not having a shock absorber. 635 00:38:47,123 --> 00:38:51,048 I'm glad you said that up here, Hammond, on my favourite road. 636 00:38:51,083 --> 00:38:52,997 Hang on, before you go. What? 637 00:38:53,032 --> 00:38:58,022 I genuinely don't like heights. It's my biggest failing, among many - I accept. 638 00:38:58,057 --> 00:39:03,012 You know the, you drive into the back of my car and it's very funny, joke? 639 00:39:03,047 --> 00:39:05,977 Oh, you want me to drive into him? 640 00:39:06,012 --> 00:39:10,084 I'll cut your BLEEP head off. You will need a beep there, BBC Two. 641 00:39:10,119 --> 00:39:12,040 I can understand that. 642 00:39:16,076 --> 00:39:21,064 Uh, my car is perfect in every way, apart from it not starting. 643 00:39:21,099 --> 00:39:27,017 So could you, if you wouldn't mind, push me? 644 00:39:27,052 --> 00:39:32,080 So you want me to push your car with my car, now, on this road here? Yes. 645 00:39:32,115 --> 00:39:34,096 There's no alternative. 646 00:39:34,131 --> 00:39:35,585 OK, here I come. 647 00:39:35,620 --> 00:39:36,850 Careful, careful. 648 00:39:36,885 --> 00:39:38,045 BUMPER CRUNCHES 649 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,008 I wasn't as careful as I could have been. Sorry. 650 00:39:41,043 --> 00:39:43,068 HE SNIGGERS 651 00:39:46,096 --> 00:39:51,048 Pretty soon, we saw why the road had earned its name. 652 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,040 God almighty, that is high! 653 00:40:05,092 --> 00:40:08,068 That is a massive, massive drop! 654 00:40:16,052 --> 00:40:18,024 This is insane. 655 00:40:20,056 --> 00:40:21,037 Whoa! 656 00:40:21,072 --> 00:40:26,052 The grasses stick up and you don't necessarily see what a long way down it is, 657 00:40:26,087 --> 00:40:28,061 then you get one of those gaps... 658 00:40:28,096 --> 00:40:31,068 .. and you see down and it is a long way. 659 00:40:31,103 --> 00:40:34,040 There's one there. 660 00:40:35,096 --> 00:40:38,061 'The dust didn't help either. ' 661 00:40:38,096 --> 00:40:42,004 Oh, gee. Look at that. That's narrow. 662 00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:45,044 HORN TOOTS 663 00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,021 I don't understand the rules on this road. 664 00:40:54,056 --> 00:40:58,062 You seem to drive one minute on the left and one minute on the right. 665 00:40:58,097 --> 00:41:02,033 Sometimes the lorry stops to let you go through. Sometimes they don't. 666 00:41:02,068 --> 00:41:08,052 Some lorries pull over, others come barrelling up behind you doing three and a half times the speed of sound. 667 00:41:08,087 --> 00:41:10,008 It's completely baffling. 668 00:41:10,043 --> 00:41:12,076 Thank you. 669 00:41:15,092 --> 00:41:19,076 I'm coming up against the truck. I've got to go past him 670 00:41:19,111 --> 00:41:24,048 and that means going on that side. 671 00:41:28,016 --> 00:41:29,096 Looking straight ahead. 672 00:41:29,131 --> 00:41:33,025 Breathe. 673 00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:37,080 Moments later, James slowed down to let a mad local get past. 674 00:41:37,115 --> 00:41:39,009 HORN TOOTS 675 00:41:39,044 --> 00:41:42,028 Does that mean there's one of those maniacal taxi drivers? 676 00:41:42,063 --> 00:41:44,000 .. and I didn't. 677 00:41:44,035 --> 00:41:45,001 Oh, God! 678 00:41:45,036 --> 00:41:48,072 BUMPERS CRUNCH 679 00:41:50,092 --> 00:41:55,092 Sorry, I was watching the taxi. You're now going to get macheted to death. 680 00:41:55,127 --> 00:41:59,020 I was watching the taxi! I don't care. Did I or did I not warn you? 681 00:41:59,055 --> 00:42:02,977 James is killing Jeremy, but things are going well. 682 00:42:03,012 --> 00:42:06,997 I was watching the taxi. Youweren't. I was watching the taxi. 683 00:42:07,032 --> 00:42:10,985 Did your co-presenter just attack you with a machete? Yes, he did. 684 00:42:11,020 --> 00:42:16,032 He was quite cross cos I ran intohim. That doesn't happen on clothes programmes or gardening shows. 685 00:42:21,072 --> 00:42:28,012 'As we climbed higher, life in the already battered Toyota became truly terrifying. ' 686 00:42:28,047 --> 00:42:31,068 That's my steering. I'm inches from death, there. 687 00:42:31,103 --> 00:42:33,981 The steering wheel doesn't do anything. 688 00:42:34,016 --> 00:42:37,004 My brakes stick when I'm going uphill so the clutch slips. 689 00:42:39,052 --> 00:42:41,092 I can't breathe because the dust gets in. 690 00:42:41,127 --> 00:42:44,041 Oh, God! That's real fear now. 691 00:42:44,076 --> 00:42:48,092 Going downhill, the same brakes that stick on going uphill, don't stop me. 692 00:42:48,127 --> 00:42:50,056 Ugh! 693 00:42:52,056 --> 00:42:55,004 'The Suzuki too was showing the strain. ' 694 00:42:55,039 --> 00:42:57,051 BLEEP. 695 00:42:57,086 --> 00:42:59,029 HE GROWLS 696 00:42:59,064 --> 00:43:04,053 What is the matter? It's got dirt in the fuel system from the river. 697 00:43:04,088 --> 00:43:08,092 So it's broken? It's not broken. Occasionally, a bit of it goes through. 698 00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:10,057 Your simple, cheap car is broken. 699 00:43:10,092 --> 00:43:17,032 'Sticking to the code of the Top Gear brotherhood, I left James and Richard behind. ' 700 00:43:19,032 --> 00:43:23,032 It just goes to show they are badly-made these Japanese cars. They're badly-made. 701 00:43:25,092 --> 00:43:28,025 'James and I decided to stick together. ' 702 00:43:28,060 --> 00:43:34,040 He's never going to go round us. My God, he is. 703 00:43:34,075 --> 00:43:36,056 That's insane. 704 00:43:43,036 --> 00:43:46,000 Right. I'm in a ditch. 705 00:43:47,068 --> 00:43:49,057 OK. 706 00:43:49,092 --> 00:43:52,017 I didn't see this. 707 00:43:52,052 --> 00:43:54,040 Whoa-ho! What a thing to miss. 708 00:43:54,075 --> 00:43:55,037 Right. 709 00:43:55,072 --> 00:43:59,096 'No biggie, though, because my colleague would winch me out in a jiffy. ' 710 00:43:59,131 --> 00:44:04,040 Hold on. What?The winch isn't working. 711 00:44:11,092 --> 00:44:18,024 I'm now all on my own on Death Road. I have no idea where Ray Mears and Ted Nugent are. 712 00:44:18,059 --> 00:44:21,064 They've just disappeared. We have no phones. They're not on the radio. 713 00:44:21,099 --> 00:44:23,032 They could be dead. 714 00:44:25,048 --> 00:44:31,080 'We would, in fact, be dead quite soon, judging by the mood of the angry, stuck locals. ' 715 00:44:31,115 --> 00:44:35,000 Good luck. Thank you. Handbrake off etc. 716 00:44:38,076 --> 00:44:42,056 The ditch is going to level outso it'll be fine. There you go. 717 00:44:42,091 --> 00:44:43,049 What a nice man. 718 00:44:43,084 --> 00:44:51,012 'Soon, though, I wished I'd stayed in the ditch because the Toyota developed yet another fault. ' 719 00:44:51,047 --> 00:44:55,531 Something's broken on that back corner. 720 00:44:55,566 --> 00:45:00,016 This is pretty close to unbearable now. 721 00:45:01,016 --> 00:45:02,045 Christ! 722 00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:06,009 Meanwhile, very far ahead... 723 00:45:06,044 --> 00:45:10,040 I'm now 5,500 feet above sea level and still climbing. 724 00:45:11,060 --> 00:45:13,092 Oh, God, crosses. 725 00:45:16,056 --> 00:45:17,965 A lot of crosses there. 726 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:23,060 And then, underneath a waterfall, I learned why there were so many crosses up here. 727 00:45:31,056 --> 00:45:32,060 Oh, my God. 728 00:45:32,095 --> 00:45:34,965 No. 729 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,008 Oh, my... 730 00:45:37,043 --> 00:45:39,016 Stop there! 731 00:45:57,088 --> 00:46:00,072 That is going. That is going. 732 00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:15,036 CREAKING Bloody hell. 733 00:46:30,032 --> 00:46:31,969 We were still miles back. 734 00:46:32,004 --> 00:46:37,053 It was almost dark and, worse still, James' alternator wasn't charging the battery. 735 00:46:37,088 --> 00:46:43,008 How much is running your car with headlights on going to shorten the life of the battery 736 00:46:43,043 --> 00:46:44,045 and then kill the engine? 737 00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,057 I don't know exactly, but by quite a bit. 738 00:46:46,092 --> 00:46:50,028 They're already getting a bit dim, to be honest. 739 00:46:50,063 --> 00:46:51,969 God, this is murder. 740 00:46:52,004 --> 00:46:54,080 Pretty soon, the inevitable happened. 741 00:46:56,020 --> 00:46:59,977 My car is now dead and without a new battery. 742 00:47:00,012 --> 00:47:05,016 'Since the alternator was one of the few things working on the Toyota, 743 00:47:05,051 --> 00:47:07,977 'I swapped my live battery for James' dead one. ' 744 00:47:08,012 --> 00:47:11,005 I think it was good of me to donate my battery. Yes, it was. 745 00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:14,076 Yes, it was. This time, we're not going to run with your lights off. 746 00:47:14,111 --> 00:47:17,024 No, OK. We'll use the torches. 747 00:47:17,059 --> 00:47:18,092 Hang on a minute. 748 00:47:23,068 --> 00:47:27,088 OK, I've waited till nightfall here at the summit of the death road. 749 00:47:27,123 --> 00:47:30,587 My colleagues aren't here, which means they must be dead. 750 00:47:30,622 --> 00:47:34,052 I've therefore made them these rather touching memorials. 751 00:47:39,096 --> 00:47:41,017 With the torches fitted, 752 00:47:41,052 --> 00:47:44,008 this was my view of Death Road. 753 00:47:47,096 --> 00:47:52,008 Hammond, I want to say something to you that I wouldn't say at any other time. 754 00:47:52,043 --> 00:47:53,013 'What?' 755 00:47:53,048 --> 00:47:55,061 Please don't leave me. 756 00:47:55,096 --> 00:48:00,028 Oh, God, those words will stay with me. I'll struggle to get over that. No, I won't. 757 00:48:14,088 --> 00:48:18,036 The next morning, we were all reunited in La Paz, 758 00:48:18,071 --> 00:48:21,075 the world's highest and worst capital city. 759 00:48:21,110 --> 00:48:24,080 But as we waited for our next instructions, 760 00:48:24,115 --> 00:48:26,575 the mood was frosty. 761 00:48:26,610 --> 00:48:29,001 Are you ready? No. 762 00:48:29,036 --> 00:48:31,993 La Paz... I still haven't actually forgiven you as such. 763 00:48:32,028 --> 00:48:38,004 It's not like we're being all matey now and have forgotten you abandoned us to die, just so you know. 764 00:48:38,039 --> 00:48:40,005 I couldn't go back to the hotel, eat steak, have a beer, 765 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:44,080 and go to bed feeling goodif I'd just left my mates... I had to go to bed. 766 00:48:44,115 --> 00:48:47,088 Then tell your mates the steak wasn't very good. 767 00:48:47,123 --> 00:48:49,041 I thought you were dead. 768 00:48:49,076 --> 00:48:53,060 I had a simple ceremony up therefor you. Then what did you do? You went on. 769 00:48:53,095 --> 00:48:54,993 I said kind words about you. 770 00:48:55,028 --> 00:48:59,041 What are we doing? Come on. "BetweenLa Paz and the Pacific Ocean, 771 00:48:59,076 --> 00:49:05,016 "there is the Altiplano where the altitude will cause you to have a pulmonary oedema. 772 00:49:05,051 --> 00:49:09,031 "Then there's the Andes where you'll have a cerebral oedema. 773 00:49:09,066 --> 00:49:13,012 "And then the Atacama which is 50 times drier than Death Valley. 774 00:49:13,047 --> 00:49:16,056 "It has never rained. It's the driest place on Earth 775 00:49:16,091 --> 00:49:20,080 "and there is no life, not even bacteria. " 776 00:49:24,024 --> 00:49:27,048 Given that our lungs and brains would explode in the deserts 777 00:49:27,083 --> 00:49:30,020 and mountains that lay between us and the Pacific, 778 00:49:30,055 --> 00:49:32,969 we decided to modify our cars a bit. 779 00:49:33,004 --> 00:49:37,052 So it was time to find a workshop and cue the music. 780 00:49:37,087 --> 00:49:40,977 ♪ Theme to "A Team" 781 00:49:41,012 --> 00:49:43,044 Have you got "Spider In Car" for Hammond? 782 00:49:43,079 --> 00:49:45,068 You can't see through the window! 783 00:49:45,103 --> 00:49:46,037 Stick to hammers. 784 00:49:46,072 --> 00:49:49,084 That's the precision tool board. The hammer lives elsewhere. 785 00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:02,084 The next day, we left La Paz well prepared for the trials that lay ahead. 786 00:50:02,119 --> 00:50:06,061 So, I've lifted the Land Cruiser, obviously. Very simple. 787 00:50:06,096 --> 00:50:10,060 Gives me room for the bigger, wider tyres I need for the desert sand. 788 00:50:10,095 --> 00:50:12,973 Roll cage for safety, obviously. 789 00:50:13,008 --> 00:50:15,981 Then to get rid of some of the weight, I've lost the doors 790 00:50:16,016 --> 00:50:20,981 because they were very heavy, and the roof and anything else I didn't need. 791 00:50:21,016 --> 00:50:27,072 What I've done to prepare for the desert is team a rather fetching hooded cardigan 792 00:50:27,107 --> 00:50:31,080 with some old combat trousers and some big wheels on my car. 793 00:50:34,060 --> 00:50:37,016 Wow, James has been busy. 794 00:50:37,051 --> 00:50:38,045 Woo, yes. 795 00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,973 You've modified that, mate. 796 00:50:41,008 --> 00:50:45,020 As you can see, what I've done with my car is mended it. 797 00:50:48,064 --> 00:50:52,048 The modifying brothers were very pleased with their results. 798 00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:54,045 Yeah! Ah! 799 00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,969 I'm liking this. Loving this! 800 00:50:58,004 --> 00:51:01,008 But after a few miles, the smiles had gone. 801 00:51:01,043 --> 00:51:04,965 Hammond, I've made my car worse. 802 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:10,040 How? It won't ride properlyand the tyres are catchingon the wheel arches. 803 00:51:10,075 --> 00:51:12,084 It's got no power any more. 804 00:51:12,119 --> 00:51:13,977 Oh, God. 805 00:51:14,012 --> 00:51:17,033 I am having to work my engine quite hard. 806 00:51:17,068 --> 00:51:21,056 The problem is, you put bigger wheels on, it has the effect of gearing it up. 807 00:51:21,091 --> 00:51:25,045 First gear is like starting in third... it's hard work. 808 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:29,000 The long and the short of it, I've rather ruined it. 809 00:51:29,035 --> 00:51:32,000 James has just overtaken me in his 1 oz box. 810 00:51:32,035 --> 00:51:33,993 RICHARD LAUGHS 811 00:51:34,028 --> 00:51:38,024 That face is smug, I don't like it. 812 00:51:40,008 --> 00:51:42,552 Because I'd made my car better, 813 00:51:42,587 --> 00:51:45,061 as we climbed onto the Altiplano, 814 00:51:45,096 --> 00:51:48,080 I could relax and enjoy the backdrop. 815 00:51:48,115 --> 00:51:50,001 Look at that sky. 816 00:51:50,036 --> 00:51:53,040 That's one of the best skies I've seen for a very long time. 817 00:52:01,008 --> 00:52:06,060 James, does it get hotter or colder when you're at altitude? I've forgotten. 818 00:52:06,095 --> 00:52:11,013 I'm pretty sure it gets much hotter. No, no, hang on. Colder. 819 00:52:11,048 --> 00:52:17,016 There's only one way we can accurately determine the temperature and that's by asking our colleague. 820 00:52:17,051 --> 00:52:20,032 I know what you're thinking, I'm fine. 821 00:52:24,052 --> 00:52:27,029 As darkness fell, we pulled into a petrol station. 822 00:52:27,064 --> 00:52:32,013 In the shop, we found a bit more than Kit Kats and pies. 823 00:52:32,048 --> 00:52:37,088 Wait a minute. Caramelised cocaine. That's something you don't see in every motorway service station. 824 00:52:37,123 --> 00:52:41,040 Wow. You take it and thenyou talk for hours. 825 00:52:41,075 --> 00:52:42,969 Let's have that. 826 00:52:43,004 --> 00:52:48,004 In fact, the sweet is made from coca leaves which are legal and used by locals 827 00:52:48,039 --> 00:52:51,004 to ward off the effects of altitude sickness. 828 00:52:51,039 --> 00:52:53,049 Hammond found them very moreish. 829 00:52:53,084 --> 00:52:57,064 They're nice, they're caramelised. I've had about six. 830 00:52:57,099 --> 00:53:00,029 Luckily, this had no effect at all. 831 00:53:00,064 --> 00:53:05,001 .. all the camping gear, then when you got there, this was before the M5, 832 00:53:05,036 --> 00:53:10,012 there was like a high bit and a low bit and we used to say, "Is this the high/low bit?" 833 00:53:10,047 --> 00:53:14,533 And Mum and Dad would say, "Yeah". And then we knew how far it was to Weston. 834 00:53:14,568 --> 00:53:19,020 I always thought Bristol was a bit scruffy, but actually it's quite nice... 835 00:53:23,032 --> 00:53:28,096 The next morning, we woke on the staggeringly beautiful Bolivian high plains. 836 00:53:33,060 --> 00:53:37,040 We couldn't see this in the dark but it's absolutely breathtaking. 837 00:53:37,075 --> 00:53:41,020 Look at it. It's took my breathaway. There's no breath to take away. 838 00:53:41,055 --> 00:53:43,057 We're at 14,000 feet according to the gizmo. 839 00:53:43,092 --> 00:53:49,041 14,000? 14,006 feet. What's that?This measures your sats. 840 00:53:49,076 --> 00:53:53,001 On Casualty, they always do this. They put one of these on their finger, 841 00:53:53,036 --> 00:53:57,076 and it's something to do with how much oxygen there is in your red blood cells. 842 00:53:57,111 --> 00:54:02,088 If it's less than 98 or 99, you've had it. 843 00:54:02,123 --> 00:54:05,052 And Tina Hobley comes. What's yours? 844 00:54:05,087 --> 00:54:07,053 87. That's less. Much less. 845 00:54:07,088 --> 00:54:10,040 Where's Tina Hobley, then?Just try yours. 846 00:54:10,075 --> 00:54:12,004 I bet you can't go less than 87. 847 00:54:12,039 --> 00:54:13,045 That's how ill I am. 848 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:18,032 89. 89? You're nearly dead. 849 00:54:18,067 --> 00:54:19,053 I AM dead. 850 00:54:19,088 --> 00:54:24,028 88, I'm not much better. If you wentinto a doctor's surgery in England, 851 00:54:24,063 --> 00:54:28,561 with sats of 88,they'd put you in hospital. 84. 852 00:54:28,596 --> 00:54:33,060 In fact, the only thing in a dodgier state than me 853 00:54:33,095 --> 00:54:35,001 were the modifications on my car. 854 00:54:35,036 --> 00:54:37,989 What's happened? I've broken my front right spring. 855 00:54:38,024 --> 00:54:41,028 Completely clean. Sheared it off both ends. You're joking? 856 00:54:41,063 --> 00:54:43,981 Bloody hellfire. 857 00:54:44,016 --> 00:54:46,068 So that is supposed to be connected to that? 858 00:54:46,103 --> 00:54:49,016 Yep. It's snapped clean off. 859 00:54:51,048 --> 00:54:53,973 While trying to mend the modified suspension, 860 00:54:54,008 --> 00:54:58,032 there was another problem. Your prop shaft fell off. 861 00:54:58,067 --> 00:55:01,985 What? Your prop shaft just fell off. 862 00:55:02,020 --> 00:55:07,036 Since there was no AA to call, it took us all morning to get it fixed. 863 00:55:07,071 --> 00:55:08,061 Ooh! 864 00:55:08,096 --> 00:55:11,028 But eventually, we were off. 865 00:55:18,016 --> 00:55:21,044 And apart from James driving into a village well... 866 00:55:21,079 --> 00:55:24,057 Sorry... Leave it! 867 00:55:24,092 --> 00:55:28,068 .. we made good progress toward the Chilean border. 868 00:55:28,103 --> 00:55:31,057 I'm in a fantastic desert, with my two mates. 869 00:55:31,092 --> 00:55:36,032 All the cars are working, look at that, look at that. 870 00:55:36,067 --> 00:55:38,076 It's great. It's an adventure. 871 00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:44,033 And soon, we reached a big milestone. 872 00:55:44,068 --> 00:55:46,096 One mile, James, and we've done it. Bolivia. 873 00:55:46,131 --> 00:55:49,973 Let's roll in as a threesome. 874 00:55:50,008 --> 00:55:55,000 You look at these three, you'd never believe they were still running! 875 00:55:55,035 --> 00:55:57,049 Most scrapyards would reject them. 876 00:55:57,084 --> 00:56:03,044 At the border post, we were given the traditional welcome. 877 00:56:03,079 --> 00:56:07,052 My arse! 878 00:56:11,064 --> 00:56:17,060 I hope he doesn't find the tampons. Or, rather worryingly, the Viagra. 879 00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:28,056 Drugs check over, we entered Chile, where the scenery became even more sensational. 880 00:56:34,012 --> 00:56:36,084 Those are flamingos, they actually are flamingos. 881 00:56:36,119 --> 00:56:40,075 I've never seen them in the wild. Wow. 882 00:56:40,110 --> 00:56:44,032 Unfortunately, we were still climbing. 883 00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:48,004 Are you ready? 45 feet to go. 884 00:56:48,039 --> 00:56:50,039 30 feet to go. 885 00:56:50,074 --> 00:56:52,005 Here it comes. 886 00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:56,012 5, 4, 3... We're there! 887 00:56:56,047 --> 00:56:58,969 15,006 feet! 888 00:56:59,004 --> 00:57:04,012 Ha! We are now higher than the highest peak in Europe 889 00:57:04,047 --> 00:57:07,012 and we're still driving. 890 00:57:08,076 --> 00:57:13,000 Soon, the altitude would become a big issue. 891 00:57:18,076 --> 00:57:23,016 But the next day, Hammond had an even bigger one. 892 00:57:23,051 --> 00:57:27,056 His clutch had gone. Oh, God. 893 00:57:27,091 --> 00:57:29,053 Oh, come on! 894 00:57:29,088 --> 00:57:32,973 It won't come out of gear. 895 00:57:33,008 --> 00:57:37,048 I'm trying to rock it on the starter motor... Ah! 896 00:57:41,012 --> 00:57:42,009 There you go. 897 00:57:42,044 --> 00:57:46,032 We're away, into second, match the road speed... 898 00:57:46,067 --> 00:57:48,000 Ooh! Hey-hey! There we go. 899 00:57:51,072 --> 00:57:56,004 We've just pulled over here to wait for Hammond. 900 00:57:56,039 --> 00:57:58,023 Oh! Dust! 901 00:57:58,058 --> 00:58:00,008 Is that him? 902 00:58:00,043 --> 00:58:02,013 It is. 903 00:58:02,048 --> 00:58:04,072 It is. We're back as a three. 904 00:58:04,107 --> 00:58:07,053 Hammond! 905 00:58:07,088 --> 00:58:11,048 The donkey lives!Oh, yeah! It lives on. 906 00:58:11,083 --> 00:58:15,008 At this point, we had a decision to make. 907 00:58:15,043 --> 00:58:18,028 We can either go that way, 908 00:58:18,063 --> 00:58:20,047 which is very long, 909 00:58:20,082 --> 00:58:22,032 or we can go that way, 910 00:58:22,067 --> 00:58:23,017 which is short, 911 00:58:23,052 --> 00:58:26,032 but does mean driving over an active volcano. 912 00:58:28,016 --> 00:58:29,001 Short. 913 00:58:29,036 --> 00:58:31,044 Volcano. Short. I agree. 914 00:58:31,079 --> 00:58:33,036 Short. Let's do it. 915 00:58:40,016 --> 00:58:44,096 As we climbed, the air became thinner and thinner. 916 00:58:50,068 --> 00:58:51,965 15,400. 917 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,049 And climbing. 918 00:58:54,084 --> 00:59:00,056 We are, definitely, the highest motorists in the world. 919 00:59:00,091 --> 00:59:03,041 Apart from George Michael, obviously. 920 00:59:03,076 --> 00:59:07,086 Hammond's really got to think ahead with no clutch. 921 00:59:07,121 --> 00:59:11,096 He's gotta think ahead with a brain starved of oxygen. 922 00:59:14,008 --> 00:59:19,016 What is frightening is when I need to come to grab first to get up a steep bit. 923 00:59:19,051 --> 00:59:20,045 Changing down is harder. 924 00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:24,084 You have to guess how high the engine needs to be revving and slot the gear lever in 925 00:59:24,119 --> 00:59:26,088 without a clutch. 926 00:59:29,096 --> 00:59:31,096 James too was having problems. 927 00:59:31,131 --> 00:59:33,052 JUDDERING AND GRATING 928 00:59:36,092 --> 00:59:40,056 Oh, God, chaps, my transfer box is jammed. 929 00:59:42,028 --> 00:59:45,036 But these niggles were overshadowed by the big one. 930 00:59:46,036 --> 00:59:49,076 Up at this altitude, this engine is really struggling. 931 00:59:49,111 --> 00:59:53,008 For every litre of fuel vapour it gets through, 932 00:59:53,043 --> 00:59:56,008 it needs 14 litres of air. 933 00:59:56,043 --> 00:59:57,017 And there isn't any. 934 00:59:57,052 --> 01:00:01,034 So, it's just like me... HE GASPS 935 01:00:01,069 --> 01:00:04,981 That means it's so down on power. 936 01:00:05,016 --> 01:00:10,008 'Up here, James's car had, at best, 20 horsepower. 937 01:00:10,043 --> 01:00:12,037 'And as we climbed higher, 938 01:00:12,072 --> 01:00:14,017 'we started to suffer as well. ' 939 01:00:14,052 --> 01:00:18,024 The breathlessness now is pretty acute. 940 01:00:19,020 --> 01:00:22,052 Just talking is... hard work. 941 01:00:24,016 --> 01:00:26,036 I'm starting to feel a bit... 942 01:00:26,071 --> 01:00:28,056 Jeez... no... I'm feeling really 943 01:00:28,091 --> 01:00:30,044 quite weird. 944 01:00:30,048 --> 01:00:36,088 'The terrain levelled out so we pulled over to catch what we could of our breath. ' 945 01:00:36,123 --> 01:00:39,577 Do you feel sort of drunkbut it's not pleasant? Yeah. 946 01:00:39,612 --> 01:00:43,032 Exactly that. My whole head... I've got room spin. 947 01:00:43,067 --> 01:00:46,040 'It was time for drastic action. ' 948 01:00:46,075 --> 01:00:48,024 Cyanide? No. 949 01:00:48,059 --> 01:00:49,041 Viagra. 950 01:00:49,076 --> 01:00:51,061 Eh? Is this the time? 951 01:00:51,096 --> 01:00:56,000 Apparently, Viagra, for reasons unknown to science 952 01:00:56,035 --> 01:00:57,981 stops you having an oedema in your lung. 953 01:00:58,016 --> 01:01:03,048 I thought it was more the trouser department it concentrated on. That could be a side effect, yes. 954 01:01:03,083 --> 01:01:05,064 Down the hatch. Here we go. 955 01:01:08,044 --> 01:01:11,048 Doesn't work. Nothing's happening. I can't swallow it. 956 01:01:11,083 --> 01:01:14,052 Nothing's happening. I need a drink. 957 01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:20,088 I'm going to get a massive neck if I don't get some of that. 958 01:01:20,123 --> 01:01:24,000 Apparently... that will save our lives. 959 01:01:24,035 --> 01:01:26,031 THEY LAUGH Oh, God. 960 01:01:26,066 --> 01:01:27,993 I've just taken Viagra! 961 01:01:28,028 --> 01:01:30,072 On top of the Andes. CHUCKLING 962 01:01:32,088 --> 01:01:36,028 'Sadly, it didn't seem to have any effect at all. ' 963 01:01:38,020 --> 01:01:41,080 I'm getting a headache and I'm feeling sick. 964 01:01:43,028 --> 01:01:45,001 Come on, come on. 965 01:01:45,036 --> 01:01:48,033 'The big question now was this - 966 01:01:48,068 --> 01:01:53,044 'which would give out first, the cars or the men?' 967 01:01:53,079 --> 01:01:54,048 Come on. Come on! 968 01:01:54,083 --> 01:01:55,072 Come on. 969 01:01:58,060 --> 01:02:00,041 Every gear change is so critical now. 970 01:02:00,076 --> 01:02:03,092 I get tense about it, that raises my heart. 971 01:02:03,127 --> 01:02:06,084 And then I need oxygen all the more. 972 01:02:09,032 --> 01:02:12,052 Still there, Hammond? Yeah, I'm still here. I have to go slow 973 01:02:12,087 --> 01:02:15,072 because I daren't risk changing up to third. I won't make it. 974 01:02:15,107 --> 01:02:17,013 'OK, mate, we'll slow down. ' 975 01:02:17,048 --> 01:02:20,058 We're a team up here. Cos this isn't funny. 976 01:02:20,093 --> 01:02:23,068 God, Jeremy's talking about being a team. 977 01:02:24,068 --> 01:02:26,096 Must be the altitude. 978 01:02:27,096 --> 01:02:30,037 'At 16,700 feet, 979 01:02:30,072 --> 01:02:33,024 'the Toyota broke down again. ' 980 01:02:33,059 --> 01:02:35,025 ENGINE STALLS 981 01:02:35,060 --> 01:02:38,008 'I think my transfer box has just gone. ' 982 01:02:38,043 --> 01:02:40,013 'James and I stop to help. 983 01:02:40,048 --> 01:02:42,052 'And then we couldn't get going again. ' 984 01:02:45,032 --> 01:02:47,068 The engines just aren't getting any air. 985 01:02:47,103 --> 01:02:48,989 At all. 986 01:02:49,024 --> 01:02:51,046 There's just no... er... 987 01:02:51,081 --> 01:02:53,070 James can't get his started. 988 01:02:53,105 --> 01:02:55,060 I can't get mine started. 989 01:02:56,096 --> 01:02:58,072 I haven't got any air to work. 990 01:03:01,064 --> 01:03:06,052 Once we get the Range Rover going, that's the most likely to start, 991 01:03:06,087 --> 01:03:11,040 we can geteverything started. Right. Can wemove it? Three, two, heave! 992 01:03:11,075 --> 01:03:12,973 And go!THEY STRAIN 993 01:03:13,008 --> 01:03:18,028 'Pushing a Range Rover at this altitude damn near killed us, 994 01:03:18,063 --> 01:03:21,029 'but eventually the big beast fired and once again, 995 01:03:21,064 --> 01:03:25,068 'the most unreliable car in the world got the others going as well. ' 996 01:03:32,020 --> 01:03:33,052 Oh, yeah. 997 01:03:39,028 --> 01:03:40,033 Bloody hell. 998 01:03:40,068 --> 01:03:42,096 My lips are now tingling. 999 01:03:46,020 --> 01:03:48,040 I get the feeling something's gotta give soon. 1000 01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:53,088 Jesus Christ, my head! 1001 01:03:59,056 --> 01:04:02,096 'At 17,200 feet, we pulled over - again. ' 1002 01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:12,024 PANTING 1003 01:04:22,008 --> 01:04:23,064 Hammond? Yeah. 1004 01:04:26,052 --> 01:04:31,064 Even if... the cars could get over that and I seriously doubt that, I can't. 1005 01:04:35,032 --> 01:04:37,021 Just pushing on's just stupid. 1006 01:04:37,056 --> 01:04:40,072 Seriously, I'm calling it a day. I think you could be right. 1007 01:04:50,072 --> 01:04:55,036 'We really were in trouble. So, we turned round and headed back down. 1008 01:04:55,071 --> 01:04:56,052 'Fast. ' 1009 01:05:04,044 --> 01:05:06,068 16 two. Still feeling weird. 1010 01:05:10,028 --> 01:05:11,060 HE COUGHS 1011 01:05:13,036 --> 01:05:14,552 Breathing's better. 1012 01:05:14,587 --> 01:05:16,033 With every foot... 1013 01:05:16,068 --> 01:05:18,552 the engine's gonna run smoother. 1014 01:05:18,587 --> 01:05:21,036 My body's gonna run smoother. 1015 01:05:29,064 --> 01:05:34,024 'We then went the long way round and finally, drunk on oxygen, 1016 01:05:34,059 --> 01:05:37,096 'we made it to the other side of the Andes. ' 1017 01:05:45,048 --> 01:05:47,000 DEEP BREATHING 1018 01:05:49,044 --> 01:05:52,045 THEY INHALE NOISILY Air! 1019 01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:56,000 It's so... so underrated. It's thick. 1020 01:05:56,035 --> 01:05:58,045 It's like breathing soup. 1021 01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:01,020 You can bite off pieces of it and chew it. 1022 01:06:01,055 --> 01:06:03,024 It's like lung nectar. 1023 01:06:06,084 --> 01:06:10,064 There is just one small thing that's occurred to me, chaps. 1024 01:06:10,099 --> 01:06:11,072 What? 1025 01:06:13,076 --> 01:06:15,064 Where the hell are we? 1026 01:06:19,048 --> 01:06:21,070 We were in the Atacama Desert 1027 01:06:21,105 --> 01:06:23,582 where there is no life at all. 1028 01:06:23,617 --> 01:06:26,025 Not even on a cellular level. 1029 01:06:26,060 --> 01:06:31,012 Richard Hammond was the smallest living organism for miles. 1030 01:06:32,076 --> 01:06:35,032 There was nothing here at all. 1031 01:06:35,067 --> 01:06:38,048 Except for one road. 1032 01:06:40,028 --> 01:06:41,044 Oh, yes. 1033 01:06:43,036 --> 01:06:45,052 The Pan-American Highway. 1034 01:06:50,084 --> 01:06:52,016 Running is smooth. 1035 01:06:53,084 --> 01:06:56,016 The view is spectacular. 1036 01:06:56,051 --> 01:06:58,000 Temperature is low. 1037 01:07:02,044 --> 01:07:05,052 'But the mad dash down the mountain had been too much once again 1038 01:07:05,087 --> 01:07:09,000 'for the modifications on Hammond's Toyota. ' 1039 01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,020 Better stop. Oh, God. 1040 01:07:14,064 --> 01:07:16,020 Didn't sound good. 1041 01:07:17,048 --> 01:07:20,016 You heard something? Oh, yeah! 1042 01:07:20,051 --> 01:07:21,033 Oh, dear. 1043 01:07:21,068 --> 01:07:25,008 I think, James, we can safely say that what's happened there 1044 01:07:25,043 --> 01:07:26,997 is my prop-shaft has fallen off. 1045 01:07:27,032 --> 01:07:30,032 'And the prop-shaft was only half of it. ' 1046 01:07:30,067 --> 01:07:31,045 BLEEP. 1047 01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:33,965 What's broken? Diff. 1048 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,049 It's shattered?Absolutely exploded. 1049 01:07:36,084 --> 01:07:41,016 Good God. I'm surprised that didn't somersault the car. 1050 01:07:42,092 --> 01:07:46,076 I've just heard on the radio that Richard Hammond's Land Cruiser 1051 01:07:46,111 --> 01:07:48,044 is in serious trouble. 1052 01:07:49,044 --> 01:07:50,092 HE SPUTTERS 1053 01:07:53,024 --> 01:07:57,524 'Happily, the Top Gear orang-utan elected not to stop and help. 1054 01:07:57,559 --> 01:08:02,024 'As a result, James and I quickly got the Toyota working again. ' 1055 01:08:07,092 --> 01:08:09,053 We reconfigured it, it's now running. 1056 01:08:09,088 --> 01:08:13,040 Front wheel drive only so it's now just its front legs 1057 01:08:13,075 --> 01:08:16,028 dragging itself along, still working. 1058 01:08:17,096 --> 01:08:22,000 'We were now tantalisingly close to the Pacific Ocean, the finish line. ' 1059 01:08:24,020 --> 01:08:27,096 There can be no doubt this has been our toughest assignment ever. 1060 01:08:29,044 --> 01:08:32,052 No question about that. It's nearly killed us, 1061 01:08:32,087 --> 01:08:34,028 it's nearly killed our cars. 1062 01:08:37,044 --> 01:08:40,969 'It is incredible to think that these cheap cars 1063 01:08:41,004 --> 01:08:44,096 'bought unseen on the Internet had crossed the Amazon rainforest. 1064 01:08:46,072 --> 01:08:49,076 'They'd scaled the most dangerous road in the world. 1065 01:08:50,092 --> 01:08:55,096 'They'd still been working when their drivers had broken down in the Andes. 1066 01:08:58,096 --> 01:09:02,068 'We didn't just respect them. We loved them. ' 1067 01:09:04,036 --> 01:09:06,985 I have a teddy bear, I've had it since I was born. 1068 01:09:07,020 --> 01:09:10,084 One of its arms has fallen off, one of its eyes is missing, 1069 01:09:10,119 --> 01:09:13,060 its head's come off more times than I can mention. 1070 01:09:13,095 --> 01:09:15,593 To you it would be worthless junk. 1071 01:09:15,628 --> 01:09:18,057 But to me, it means everything, 1072 01:09:18,092 --> 01:09:21,072 and it's the same story with this car. 1073 01:09:24,020 --> 01:09:27,088 Yeah, the ride's terrible, it's a bit noisy, doesn't handle that well, 1074 01:09:27,123 --> 01:09:30,033 and I'm always worried it's going to fall over, 1075 01:09:30,068 --> 01:09:34,542 but it's done everything the big boys have done, hasn't got stuck any more often, 1076 01:09:34,577 --> 01:09:39,016 and the only time it's really gone wrong is due to its dunking in the river. 1077 01:09:39,051 --> 01:09:42,036 I think the plucky little car's done all right. 1078 01:09:44,068 --> 01:09:50,000 From the very start of the trip when I couldn't start it on the raft, I thought, "Oh, no. " 1079 01:09:50,035 --> 01:09:52,068 But I didn't know it then, I didn't know how determined it was. 1080 01:09:52,103 --> 01:09:55,096 This thing is like that Black Knight 1081 01:09:55,131 --> 01:09:57,021 in that Monty Python sketch 1082 01:09:57,056 --> 01:10:00,064 where they're fighting with swords and he gets his arm cut off. 1083 01:10:00,099 --> 01:10:04,091 "No, no, 'tis but a scratch!" It's a great little car. 1084 01:10:04,126 --> 01:10:08,084 'As our exhausted convoy drew nearer to the coast, 1085 01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:13,004 'weirdly, the road started to climb again. ' 1086 01:10:14,016 --> 01:10:19,096 40 miles to go and we've got to drop 2,300 feet to sea level. 1087 01:10:19,131 --> 01:10:22,060 It must start going downhill in a minute! 1088 01:10:22,095 --> 01:10:23,981 'But it didn't. 1089 01:10:24,016 --> 01:10:26,040 'The punishing climb continued. ' 1090 01:10:27,088 --> 01:10:30,076 I can smell... I can smell... 1091 01:10:30,111 --> 01:10:32,076 a boiling engine. 1092 01:10:37,056 --> 01:10:42,016 Is the drop at the other end just sheer, because we're nearly at the Pacific now? 1093 01:10:42,051 --> 01:10:45,092 And we're 4,000 feet up. 1094 01:10:47,056 --> 01:10:52,080 'Soon, though, we turned off the Pan-America and headed through the dunes to the finish line, 1095 01:10:52,115 --> 01:10:56,044 'where, unfortunately, there was one more obstacle in the way. 1096 01:10:57,084 --> 01:10:58,088 'A big one. ' 1097 01:10:59,080 --> 01:11:00,084 Hang on a minute. 1098 01:11:03,076 --> 01:11:04,092 Whoa, wait. 1099 01:11:10,092 --> 01:11:14,012 Look how bloody steep it is. God above. 1100 01:11:15,096 --> 01:11:18,033 I can see now why they said four wheel drive. 1101 01:11:18,068 --> 01:11:21,572 Er, I've only got three wheel drive. I've only got two. 1102 01:11:21,607 --> 01:11:25,325 What if you dig in?If you dug in and started to roll, 1103 01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:29,009 the chances of you being alive at the bottom... are nil. 1104 01:11:29,044 --> 01:11:34,008 'We therefore decided to get some practice on a smaller dune first. ' 1105 01:11:34,043 --> 01:11:35,549 Are we ready, chaps? 1106 01:11:35,584 --> 01:11:37,056 Ready. Ready? Yeah. 1107 01:11:38,004 --> 01:11:38,977 Three! 1108 01:11:39,012 --> 01:11:41,060 Two! 'Hold on, hold on. ' 1109 01:11:43,024 --> 01:11:45,052 Give me strength. Give me strength. 1110 01:11:45,087 --> 01:11:46,021 What? 1111 01:11:46,056 --> 01:11:48,080 Just before we do this, I wanted to say... Oh, shit. 1112 01:11:48,115 --> 01:11:52,012 No! Oh, my BLEEP! 1113 01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:05,068 My donkey! 1114 01:12:09,048 --> 01:12:11,024 His wheel's come off. 1115 01:12:11,059 --> 01:12:12,068 Aw! 1116 01:12:16,072 --> 01:12:18,969 'Donkey was dead. 1117 01:12:19,004 --> 01:12:20,989 'And in some ways, I was relieved. 1118 01:12:21,024 --> 01:12:25,064 'Because it meant I no longer had to drive down that dune. ' 1119 01:12:33,040 --> 01:12:35,088 This is utterly, utterly, utterly stupid. 1120 01:12:37,084 --> 01:12:39,096 I wouldn't do this in a brand-new Range Rover. 1121 01:12:39,131 --> 01:12:41,024 James, are you ready? 1122 01:12:42,048 --> 01:12:44,981 Yeah, I'll be going for second gear, Jezza. 1123 01:12:45,016 --> 01:12:49,028 Second gear, low range, and I've got my diff locks in. Have you? 1124 01:12:49,063 --> 01:12:52,040 I haven't got diff locks. 'Good luck, boys. ' 1125 01:12:52,075 --> 01:12:57,024 Three... two... one. Go! 1126 01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:08,084 Oh, my God. 1127 01:13:09,016 --> 01:13:13,008 I don't know... Oh, Christ, I don't know where the wheels are pointing. 1128 01:13:14,064 --> 01:13:16,040 I don't think so. 1129 01:13:19,056 --> 01:13:21,548 It's going sideways. 1130 01:13:21,583 --> 01:13:24,040 Whoa. Whoo oh oh! 1131 01:13:26,024 --> 01:13:27,076 Don't you dare go sideways again. 1132 01:13:29,008 --> 01:13:32,064 'The soft sand was a nightmare and the gradient meant pretty soon 1133 01:13:32,099 --> 01:13:35,016 'we were fighting to keep control. ' 1134 01:13:38,024 --> 01:13:40,056 Get in a straight line, you metal BLEEP. 1135 01:13:40,091 --> 01:13:41,076 Come on! 1136 01:13:42,072 --> 01:13:44,072 Come on. Oh, it's going a bit fast now. 1137 01:13:45,052 --> 01:13:49,044 I'm in a 900-year-old utterly ruined Range Rover. 1138 01:13:50,076 --> 01:13:51,088 Argh! Argh! 1139 01:13:53,032 --> 01:13:55,020 Levelling out. It's levelling out. 1140 01:13:56,008 --> 01:13:57,048 It's levelling out. 1141 01:14:01,096 --> 01:14:03,084 Argh! We're down! 1142 01:14:05,016 --> 01:14:07,004 We're down! 1143 01:14:08,004 --> 01:14:10,020 Yeah! 1144 01:14:11,076 --> 01:14:16,076 'Once again, we had shown what the car, even when it's an old croc, is capable of. 1145 01:14:16,111 --> 01:14:19,028 'Well, two of us had. 1146 01:14:28,036 --> 01:14:31,064 'But when we finally regrouped by the water's edge, 1147 01:14:31,099 --> 01:14:35,061 'Hammond still believed he'd chosen wisely. ' 1148 01:14:35,096 --> 01:14:40,068 Are you going to try and argue...?It's extraordinarily good. It's led a very hard life. 1149 01:14:40,103 --> 01:14:42,973 It died a noble death, I think valiant. 1150 01:14:43,008 --> 01:14:47,037 I think rubbish. It has been a constant source of problems and delays. 1151 01:14:47,072 --> 01:14:52,004 It was old and arthritic and had been beaten every day of its life, sick old donkey. 1152 01:14:52,039 --> 01:14:55,553 These two were old and arthritic but they are here, 1153 01:14:55,588 --> 01:14:59,068 and the Land Cruiser is 2,800 feet above us up there. 1154 01:14:59,103 --> 01:15:02,059 Forever. Can I just make the case for the Suzuki 1155 01:15:02,094 --> 01:15:04,981 cos I know what you're thinking? Plucky little car. 1156 01:15:05,016 --> 01:15:11,032 Helped you out a few times. I agree. Technically, never really broke down. Well... 1157 01:15:11,067 --> 01:15:13,545 It didn't survive very well in the puddle. 1158 01:15:13,580 --> 01:15:16,024 But I'd like to say most importantly... 1159 01:15:16,059 --> 01:15:18,073 Mm-hm... the ride is rotten. 1160 01:15:18,108 --> 01:15:20,053 Yes. And because of that, 1161 01:15:20,088 --> 01:15:24,036 because it's almost ruined your spine, 1162 01:15:24,071 --> 01:15:25,989 and because yours isn't here, 1163 01:15:26,024 --> 01:15:28,965 we have a startling conclusion to the show. 1164 01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:33,020 It turns out that the most unreliable car in the world... 1165 01:15:33,055 --> 01:15:36,020 is the most reliable car in the world. 1166 01:15:36,055 --> 01:15:37,005 Yeah. It's fair enough. 1167 01:15:37,040 --> 01:15:41,013 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Range Rover. 1168 01:15:41,048 --> 01:15:44,544 Not what I'd ever expected it... Nobody expected that. 1169 01:15:44,579 --> 01:15:48,040 Come on, we can be proud of that. Proud to be British... 1170 01:16:01,076 --> 01:16:04,080 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 1171 01:16:04,115 --> 01:16:07,084 E- mail subtitling@bbc. co. uk