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Tonight, I do a skid.
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00:00:15,633 --> 00:00:17,656
Richard steals some tyres.
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And James get
kicked in the face.
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00:00:26,209 --> 00:00:28,623
Sync and corrections by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com
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Hello, hello, thank you,
thank you everybody.
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Now, let's get one thing
straight, from the start...
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Formula 1 is better than NASCAR.
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CROWD CHEERS
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It just is.
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If you compare them, to
musical instruments,
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F1 is a Stradivarius violin,
NASCAR is banging a saucepan
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with a wooden spoon.
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Now, we all agree on that
in the civilised world.
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Well, when I say we all agree,
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we all agree apart from Richard
J Cheeseburger Hammond III.
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I'm not alone in believing
in the supremacy of NASCAR.
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It's currently the most popular
spectator sport in America.
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And there are many reasons why
it hits the spot with the fans.
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The first is to do with its roots.
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Unlike Formula 1, which began as
a pastime for wealthy playboys
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and aristocrats, NASCAR has very
humble, blue-collar origins.
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NASCAR has its roots back in the 1940s,
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when the Moonshine runners,
basically naughty hicks,
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smuggling illegal booze
across county lines,
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would modify their cars
to out run the cops.
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One thing sort of led to another,
and before you knew it,
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they were holding informal
race meetings in the evenings,
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on impromptu racetracks that they
kicked into the dirt in fields.
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The cars the Moonshine runners
favoured were ones like this,
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a respectable looking
1941 Ford Business Coupe,
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which wouldn't raise the
suspicions of a passing policeman.
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Clearly, the man in such a car as this,
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is a man going about his business,
why would the cops disturb him?
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Underneath though is a
highly-tuned engine,
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beefed up suspension, and
inside, a special hideaway
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for the illegal booze.
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Moonshine runners used this actual car.
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It smuggled hooky booze
across county lines,
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and then went on to race in
NASCAR, it's the real deal!
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As the decades passed, the sport grew.
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'One critical time when trouble
could be mighty contagious.'
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But that love of living
outside the law remained.
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In the early 1950s, for example,
roll cages were mandatory
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in NASCAR racing, but
the drivers thought,
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well, the added weight was a
bit wussy, having a roll cage,
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so they just fitted them with things...
that looked like roll cages,
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made out of off cuts of wood, say.
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Another reason I prefer this sport,
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apart from its rebellious streak,
is that next to the spaceships
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you get F1, NASCAR machines
are beautifully simple.
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As was explained to me on
race day at Texas Speedway.
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This is making 800 horsepower?
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Closer to 900, yeah.
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900 horsepower. 900 horsepower.
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And no electronic aids on this?
No. It literally carburetted.
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NASCAR wants the drivers to
separate themselves on the track,
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so, for myself, without having data,
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I have to explain all the
sensations I feel in the car.
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Talk about spring changes, shot
changes, geometry changes.
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So, they're not downloading
it off a laptop?
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We don't even have a
fuel sensor in the car.
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00:04:18,544 --> 00:04:21,029
And these little things,
these are the ones...
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00:04:21,111 --> 00:04:23,834
It's just to create some drag
when the car spins around...
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That's not going to stop you flipping!
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They've proven in the
wind tunnel that it does.
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Now, what really helps is this.
These deploy.
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When there's a low-pressure
area on the top, these deploy,
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and help set the car down.
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That stops you. Two on top.
You have these here, as well.
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Hey, that's high-tech, that's like
a-Land Rover's air vents at the front.
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It's not mega high-tech.
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If you're a Formula 1 fan,
and a NASCAR cynic,
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I think I know exactly what you'd
be... saying if you were here.
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This looks, well, easy.
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You just keep your foot
down, keep turning left,
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and that's kind of it, really.
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Whereas in Formula 1, there's
corners and stuff to remember.
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It's tricky.
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So, do these drivers,
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who can earn up to £15 million a year
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have an easier time of
it than F1 drivers?
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Well, let's ask a man who's
raced in both sports.
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To drive? I would say there's nothing
drives like a Formula 1 car,
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but these are more unpredictable.
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They slide around a lot,
they have no breaks.
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I mean, when I tell you NO breaks,
because the car's so heavy
87
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and the brakes are so tiny.
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I've got to say, ovals, I
think, are more challenging,
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and it's because the corner
starts way over there,
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and ends way over there.
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And is the car moving?
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The car's moving all the
time, it's never settled.
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00:05:55,918 --> 00:05:59,438
And then, you take the cars all
around you, the turbulent air.
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If they are on the outside of
you, it's pulling you around,
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00:06:03,548 --> 00:06:06,030
if they're in front of you,
you just don't have the grip.
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00:06:06,070 --> 00:06:10,899
That's when the entertainment
value... goes up tremendously,
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because you're averaging
over 190 miles an hour,
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with that many cars inches
away from one another,
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and we'll be three or four
wide through these corners.
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You go to Silverstone, you sit in
a... stand on and you go, "meooooo."
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You wait one half minutes.
See if the order has changed. Yes.
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But, most likely, it won't.
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They used to give awards because,
oh, the overtaker of the year,
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you passed three people in
the whole freaking year.
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So, lots of close racing in
cars that are tricky to drive,
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which means, as a bonus,
you get lots of these.
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It's a contact sport, put it that way.
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A lot of times, the contact that's
made is either out of frustration,
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the guy wants to get another
guy out of the way.
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You can't just ram him
because you can't overtake!
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00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,986
If you have bumpers, you do!
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And when there is a coming together,
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NASCAR drivers don't bother
settling... with a stewards' enquiry.
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Let's see if they'll fight?
Harvick's really mad at Montoya.
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Have got a fight breaking out?
Here it comes.
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He's slowing back here, and we're
going to have a little talk.
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This, too, is a bonus
for the hard-core fans,
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who are not often mistaken
for Harvard professors.
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Yeah! Yeah!
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On race weekends, their main
diet is beer and red meat.
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What if you were spotted eating a salad.
Eating salad?
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And they get a lot more
access than F1 fans.
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These are actual fans
being driven around!
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These are fans who have lined up,
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that have paid to go around the
track with a professional,
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00:08:01,494 --> 00:08:02,814
or some kind of driver.
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Can you imagine that in F1?
If you can do this, I'm coming tomorrow.
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00:08:05,477 --> 00:08:08,063
They're in a pack of cars,
they're not even on their own.
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00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:11,001
Look at this, these are
just spectators, you or me.
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I didn't see how I might get the
same chance to drive on that oval,
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but then I was told to report
to the drivers' briefing,
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where I was in for a surprise.
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From the United States Air Force,
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00:08:27,414 --> 00:08:31,204
four-star general, General Mark A
Wells III and his wife Betty Welsh.
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RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE
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From Top Gear UK, today's
honorary pace car driver,
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from Birmingham England,
Richard Hammond.
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MUTED APPLAUSE
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Race time arrived.
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After the national anthem had finished,
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00:09:03,878 --> 00:09:10,311
the man with the jetpack had landed...
and the B...52 bomber had flown past.
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It was time to me to lead the grid of
43 cars out on the formation lap.
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00:09:21,318 --> 00:09:24,402
They are still coming,
there's millions of them.
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ENGINES ROARS
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Don't stall, Hammond, don't mess it up.
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Behind me, 39,000 horsepower
was itching to get going.
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I daren't look in the mirror, it's
like being attacked by Tigers.
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Woah-ho-ho! Oh, come on.
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'Slip road is clear.
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'Green flag.'
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00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:03,295
We started that! We did that.
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And my treats weren't over,
because I would be spending
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the actual race helping
one of the teams,
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who gave me a very important job.
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Yeah, I'm with the team.
Coming through, oh, yeah.
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Now, I will admit the one
problem with NASCAR races
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is that they're over 500 laps long,
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so at this point there is
only one thing we can do...
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♪ We're gonna need a montage Montage
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♪ Oh, it takes a montage Montage
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♪ Show a lot of things Happening at once
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♪ Remind everyone of what's going on
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00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:53,636
♪ That's called a montage Montage
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♪ Oh, we want montage Montage
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♪ Always fade out in a montage
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♪ If you fade out... ♪
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That did the trick, and 530 laps
later, we had ourselves a winner.
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00:11:09,442 --> 00:11:14,118
Three hours and 20 minutes
of racing just flew by,
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there's a man over there who won,
he's now firing six guns in the air,
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wearing his new Stetson.
And he's delighted.
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Now the whole circus moves on to the
next place, to do it all again,
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and there's a big argument
here to say this is proof
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00:11:27,328 --> 00:11:31,014
F1 is po-faced, it could
learn a lot from this.
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The next morning, at a
deserted Texas Speedway,
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there was one final treat in store.
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00:11:40,848 --> 00:11:47,241
This. Plus a driving lesson
from NASCAR royalty Kyle Petty.
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00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:51,590
It doesn't feel like anything
else I've ever driven, I mean,
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00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:54,778
this thing does not want
to go in a straight line.
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00:11:54,818 --> 00:11:57,202
The car only wants to turn left,
it doesn't want to go straight.
180
00:11:57,275 --> 00:11:59,623
Hit the grass, you've got
to run through the grass,
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00:11:59,714 --> 00:12:02,272
it's like mowing the yard, you
have to hit the grass. Hard.
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00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:05,756
RICHARD SCREAMS
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00:12:06,130 --> 00:12:10,806
Yeah, all the way down. I am so scared!
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00:12:10,846 --> 00:12:15,278
More gas, more gas, more gas, more gas.
185
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,090
Oh, dear Lord!
186
00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:20,654
Put her next to the wall little bit.
I am next to the wall!
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00:12:20,694 --> 00:12:24,006
'Eventually, Kyle let
me go out on my own.'
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00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:31,699
Letting it find grip.
Trying not to fight it too much.
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00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:37,682
It's not just a big loop, it's
complex, it's three-dimensional,
190
00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:42,714
and I'm wrestling my way around
it in a huge shouting dragon.
191
00:12:42,754 --> 00:12:46,338
I'm going to roll out of this
corner... onto the straight now,
192
00:12:46,378 --> 00:12:49,838
here I go, getting on the gas! Haha!
193
00:12:49,858 --> 00:12:52,039
Oh my God!
194
00:12:52,061 --> 00:12:55,278
I'm in an explosion again!
195
00:12:55,318 --> 00:12:57,584
SCREAMS MANICALLY
196
00:12:57,642 --> 00:12:59,886
Where's it finding the grip?
197
00:13:00,286 --> 00:13:05,150
Most of my lungs are on the
same side, that's not normal.
198
00:13:05,190 --> 00:13:08,370
'And then, just to add
to my problems... '
199
00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:12,086
Oh, no, that's not what I
wanted to see in the mirror,
200
00:13:12,126 --> 00:13:14,726
that's too authentic.
201
00:13:20,350 --> 00:13:21,772
I don't need that!
202
00:13:26,692 --> 00:13:29,620
Arghh!
203
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,494
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
204
00:13:32,534 --> 00:13:34,935
Unbelievable. It was brilliant!
205
00:13:34,966 --> 00:13:37,787
I loved it. It was...
206
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:40,714
It's really good.
207
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:46,182
All right, OK, let's get this over with.
208
00:13:46,222 --> 00:13:50,962
Come on then, Mr F1 Fan, I'm braced
and ready for your comments. Go.
209
00:13:51,002 --> 00:13:54,748
I agree with you. Eh?
I do agree with you.
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00:13:54,816 --> 00:13:59,840
The Americans are very bad at some
things, they can't say aluminium,
211
00:14:00,318 --> 00:14:02,279
and they can't win a
war without our help,
212
00:14:02,316 --> 00:14:06,959
but they are very good
at making dreary sports
213
00:14:07,037 --> 00:14:09,030
very exciting to watch.
214
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:12,370
Let's just take, for an
example, rounders. Right?
215
00:14:12,410 --> 00:14:15,086
That's played by small
children here, over there,
216
00:14:15,126 --> 00:14:16,806
it's Babe Ruth, and a religion.
217
00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:20,338
Then you've got netball which
here is schoolgirls standing,
218
00:14:20,378 --> 00:14:24,006
so you can only move one foot, and
there's four parents watching,
219
00:14:24,042 --> 00:14:27,126
and over there it's, what is it?
Harlem Globetrotters.
220
00:14:27,205 --> 00:14:29,060
They are quite easily amused.
221
00:14:29,111 --> 00:14:31,185
Unbelievably easily
amused, and that's why
222
00:14:31,186 --> 00:14:33,259
they're able to make
NASCAR exciting.
223
00:14:33,323 --> 00:14:36,381
It's just some good ol' boys going
round in a circle. And they go,
224
00:14:36,423 --> 00:14:38,373
"Oh, hell, I'll go pay to watch that."
225
00:14:38,403 --> 00:14:42,767
250,000 people turn up to watch it.
Because it is a good sport.
226
00:14:42,870 --> 00:14:46,373
I mean Hammond you would say that,
because you're an American.
227
00:14:46,482 --> 00:14:49,287
Wait a minute, I'm not.
228
00:14:49,339 --> 00:14:54,396
You've got a Stetson, cowboy boots,
chaps, a Harley-Davidson, a Mustang,
229
00:14:54,482 --> 00:14:56,618
you like to get a beer and you
put cheese on everything.
230
00:14:56,658 --> 00:14:58,701
I don't! I'm not American.
231
00:14:58,748 --> 00:15:01,150
You have made a living out
of being... an American.
232
00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:03,115
Your Saturday night programme is
233
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,245
a fat man falling off some foam rubber.
234
00:15:05,598 --> 00:15:08,021
"Oh, right, hey, we'll watch that!"
235
00:15:08,056 --> 00:15:10,943
Then they turn up in their millions.
236
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:14,190
APPLAUSE
237
00:15:14,238 --> 00:15:17,209
JAMES HUMS STAR SPANGLED BANNER
238
00:15:17,257 --> 00:15:19,441
I'm not an American.
239
00:15:19,481 --> 00:15:25,201
Look, Hammond, I wish the
Americans... ran a decent sport,
240
00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:29,732
if they got Formula 1, it would be
fantastic, because they would say,
241
00:15:29,787 --> 00:15:32,552
"Let's have sprinklers
coming on at random points
242
00:15:32,646 --> 00:15:34,357
"during the race," and
that would be fantastic.
243
00:15:34,421 --> 00:15:35,756
There would be no more
stewards' enquiries,
244
00:15:35,782 --> 00:15:37,224
and there will be no more of this,
245
00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:40,826
"You've got a ten second drive-by
penalty," which ruins the race.
246
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,373
They would say, "Hamilton and
Masa... you don't get on,
247
00:15:43,397 --> 00:15:44,944
after the race, in your boxes,
248
00:15:44,974 --> 00:15:46,806
"on the winner's podium, slug it out."
249
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,054
Yeah. I'd watch that,
would you watch that?
250
00:15:49,094 --> 00:15:51,883
I'd watch that. It would be brilliant.
I would watch that.
251
00:15:51,902 --> 00:15:53,454
Anyway, we must do the news.
252
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,486
We are starting with the
Institute of Advanced Motorists,
253
00:15:56,526 --> 00:15:57,738
you know the ones.
254
00:15:57,778 --> 00:15:59,614
Oh, yeah, them.
255
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:02,018
They are the ones who...
256
00:16:02,058 --> 00:16:05,298
They say that you mustn't cross
hands on the steering wheel.
257
00:16:05,338 --> 00:16:07,614
You've got to shuffle it, like that.
258
00:16:07,654 --> 00:16:09,336
Never drive one-handed,
they don't like that.
259
00:16:09,337 --> 00:16:11,018
They prefer that.
260
00:16:11,058 --> 00:16:15,110
Is anyone here in The Institute
of Advanced Motorists?
261
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:17,046
Like you are going to confess it now.
262
00:16:17,086 --> 00:16:19,069
You are! So you are in the Institute?
263
00:16:19,105 --> 00:16:21,111
So, you do this?
264
00:16:21,112 --> 00:16:23,116
Did you drive down...
here today like this?
265
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:30,413
You're a passenger?
Oh, you can knock yourself out, then.
266
00:16:36,478 --> 00:16:41,069
The Institute of Advanced Motorists...
has launched a new thing called,
267
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,632
Drive And Survive.
268
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,249
What, rather than Drive And Die?
269
00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:47,734
That would never work.
Drive And Survive, OK?
270
00:16:47,863 --> 00:16:50,383
The idea is, what they've got is,
271
00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:53,921
every week they're
offering motoring tips.
272
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:55,674
Yes, so this week it's parking.
273
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:58,798
I'll give you a couple of examples
they've come up with, right?
274
00:16:59,413 --> 00:17:02,554
"Park on the left-hand side
of the road if possible,
275
00:17:02,593 --> 00:17:04,142
"and always at night."
276
00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:09,238
Eh? What happens if you
arrive at lunch time?
277
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,991
I parked here this morning.
You didn't! I did. You idiot!
278
00:17:13,278 --> 00:17:15,954
Park always at night.
Another one, right?
279
00:17:16,338 --> 00:17:18,142
This is one I really can't get.
280
00:17:18,182 --> 00:17:21,630
"When parking, open your
window in car parks,
281
00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:25,648
"and turn off your stereo.
You can often hear something,
282
00:17:25,726 --> 00:17:27,882
"before you can see it."
283
00:17:28,962 --> 00:17:33,866
What, a lamppost? Lampposts actually
make a very soft cooing sound.
284
00:17:33,937 --> 00:17:36,015
Do they?
285
00:17:36,182 --> 00:17:40,515
I once heard a squelching
sound, and then a pop,
286
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:43,238
but that was the neighbour's cat!
287
00:17:43,887 --> 00:17:45,847
Can we move on? Yes.
288
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,710
I have some news, there is a new
Dodge Viper being announced,
289
00:17:48,781 --> 00:17:51,679
and apparently it's going to employ
Fiat technology on it, which is...
290
00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:54,578
They mean is there's a new one,
and it won't work properly.
291
00:17:54,618 --> 00:17:56,270
They haven't said that.
292
00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:58,280
I suspect that Dodge
are a little worried
293
00:17:58,324 --> 00:17:59,788
about the styling they have chosen,
294
00:17:59,839 --> 00:18:02,265
because this is the
photograph they have sent.
295
00:18:03,466 --> 00:18:05,148
Doesn't tell you much, does it?
296
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,172
Doesn't tell you a lot. Maybe it's shy?
297
00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:13,116
Hey, now, you know sometimes
you meet someone who has
298
00:18:13,163 --> 00:18:16,158
a growth on their face, and it's
actually bigger than their face?
299
00:18:16,198 --> 00:18:18,724
Have you ever seen that?
300
00:18:18,725 --> 00:18:21,250
No, I mean... one of those
really ugly things.
301
00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:26,007
No, this is just a face, I'm talking
about a growth. That's your face?
302
00:18:26,049 --> 00:18:30,749
I bring this up, because
there's a company in Japan
303
00:18:30,962 --> 00:18:32,812
whose obviously used this growth thing
304
00:18:32,854 --> 00:18:36,140
as an inspiration for their
new Prius campervan.
305
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:38,578
Here it is. Oh, God!
306
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,234
It's the elephant car. It is.
307
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,319
SLURS SPEECH: I'm so
pleased to meet you.
308
00:18:44,385 --> 00:18:48,905
I hope nobody knocks my trailer over.
It's a monster.
309
00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:51,750
You've got a double bed in the
and another one in that growth.
310
00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:54,616
That is not a car that you
could talk to at a party,
311
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,764
unless you are looking
at something else.
312
00:18:57,756 --> 00:19:00,138
I've got news from Renault,
313
00:19:00,155 --> 00:19:01,717
they've got a new car, I've
got a picture of it here,
314
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:05,092
it's called the Influenza. Is it?
It isn't called the Influenza.
315
00:19:05,132 --> 00:19:06,662
Well, it's something a bit like that.
316
00:19:06,689 --> 00:19:10,077
It's electric, as you can, because
there it is plugged in, recharging.
317
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,592
I was wondering, when in the future,
when we're all driving electric cars,
318
00:19:13,642 --> 00:19:16,430
the cities are full of
these charging points,
319
00:19:16,526 --> 00:19:19,975
won't ten-year-old boys go
around unplugging cars?
320
00:19:20,045 --> 00:19:21,750
That's what we would have
done when I was ten.
321
00:19:21,781 --> 00:19:25,805
Do you have to be ten, why wouldn't...
you do that aged, I don't know, 52?
322
00:19:25,854 --> 00:19:28,718
Well, quite.
You would know though... wouldn't you?
323
00:19:28,758 --> 00:19:32,342
If you saw somebody parked, you
would just go... You would.
324
00:19:32,453 --> 00:19:35,085
I wouldn't. Why would you do that?
325
00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:38,585
Remember the early Fiat Panda, the
boxy one that Giugiaro designed,
326
00:19:38,758 --> 00:19:41,077
whenever I walk past one of
those with a group of friends,
327
00:19:41,152 --> 00:19:43,928
we always picked it up
and turned it around.
328
00:19:44,070 --> 00:19:46,114
You could just...
329
00:19:46,115 --> 00:19:48,158
I was going that way,
how is that happened?
330
00:19:48,198 --> 00:19:50,190
In the same way as it's always great fun
331
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,278
to lock someone else's bicycle
up with your bicycle lock.
332
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,378
You're just a yobbo!
333
00:19:55,379 --> 00:19:57,438
Come on, Hammond, you
must have done that?
334
00:19:57,478 --> 00:20:00,910
Or throw a brick through their
window, or set fire to their shop.
335
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:05,062
If you go to Halfords, you buy a whole
load of really cheap bicycle locks.
336
00:20:05,102 --> 00:20:08,782
The combination ones... Then go along
the street, locking people's bikes up.
337
00:20:08,822 --> 00:20:11,638
Why would you do that?
Because it's funny!
338
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,278
No, it is, because you do it,
339
00:20:13,318 --> 00:20:17,158
and I did this with Robert
Cook on York station, in 1978,
340
00:20:17,198 --> 00:20:19,654
if it was your bicycle,
you'll know it was us.
341
00:20:19,694 --> 00:20:22,594
You lock it, hide behind some bins,
Wait for them to come back.
342
00:20:22,634 --> 00:20:25,078
They take their lock off,
"Yes, my bicycle's good,"
343
00:20:25,118 --> 00:20:26,906
and they go off and go,
344
00:20:26,946 --> 00:20:30,346
"I didn't put that on there.
"People are watching, getting ideas...
345
00:20:30,386 --> 00:20:34,422
Don't do this, ten-year-olds and
52-year-olds, we're not condoning this.
346
00:20:34,462 --> 00:20:35,998
52-year-old children.
347
00:20:36,038 --> 00:20:39,402
Or indeed unplugging
peoples' electric cars,
348
00:20:39,442 --> 00:20:44,190
because when they come back and find
the range says two, it's not funny.
349
00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:46,394
It is funny.
We're not saying you should do that.
350
00:20:46,395 --> 00:20:48,558
No, you shouldn't.
351
00:20:48,598 --> 00:20:50,748
Were just saying you can do that.
352
00:20:52,134 --> 00:20:55,452
Last week we revealed that the
police were claiming that
353
00:20:55,483 --> 00:20:57,654
driving under the influence
of a cold remedy
354
00:20:57,694 --> 00:21:00,294
is the same as driving under
the influence of cocaine.
355
00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:01,934
Now, I drove down here,
356
00:21:01,974 --> 00:21:04,686
because I got a cold that
I haven't... mentioned,
357
00:21:04,726 --> 00:21:08,138
I drove down here this morning
having taken some Day Nurse,
358
00:21:08,178 --> 00:21:10,218
and I arrived without incident.
359
00:21:10,258 --> 00:21:13,246
Did it make you very boring, and
overly confident at parties?
360
00:21:13,286 --> 00:21:17,310
No, I'm always that, I was that anyway.
361
00:21:17,350 --> 00:21:21,782
So, I'm just letting you know that Day
Nurse and driving are OK. I made it.
362
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:25,062
Yeah, on that subject actually
last week, you agreed,
363
00:21:25,102 --> 00:21:27,686
in fact you challenged James
to do a lap of a track,
364
00:21:27,726 --> 00:21:31,030
you would be sewing on a button
at the same time as driving,
365
00:21:31,070 --> 00:21:33,348
he would be in a sleeping bag.
366
00:21:33,349 --> 00:21:35,626
Yes, and you would be
giving yourself pleasure.
367
00:21:35,666 --> 00:21:41,498
Those are the rules, so are we going...
to have our race? We did promise.
368
00:21:41,538 --> 00:21:47,470
I've forgotten my sleeping bag, sir,
I've been practising all week.
369
00:21:47,510 --> 00:21:53,280
I promise we will do our sleeping
bag, sewing a button on,
370
00:21:53,358 --> 00:21:56,475
and Hammond race before
the end of the series.
371
00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:59,778
Moving on, Mercedes SLS,
372
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,396
James and Richard will tell you
that it's too big and too stupid.
373
00:22:03,459 --> 00:22:05,608
It is. It is. No, it isn't.
374
00:22:05,655 --> 00:22:09,358
It is a SUPERB car, and
as far as I'm concerned,
375
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:12,248
there is only one thing wrong with it...
376
00:22:12,702 --> 00:22:14,491
its doors.
377
00:22:14,522 --> 00:22:16,487
That two things!
Well, it is, it's too doors.
378
00:22:16,488 --> 00:22:18,452
Thank you, Hammond.
379
00:22:21,646 --> 00:22:24,478
You might imagine, as you drive along
380
00:22:24,518 --> 00:22:27,538
that people will think the
gullwing doors hark back
381
00:22:27,578 --> 00:22:31,630
to the magnificent 300 SL from 1954,
382
00:22:31,662 --> 00:22:36,279
but I suspect they won't
think anything of the sort.
383
00:22:38,571 --> 00:22:41,802
What they will think, as you
pull up and get out is,
384
00:22:42,150 --> 00:22:45,240
"What a massive show off,"
and there's another problem
385
00:22:45,293 --> 00:22:48,781
with gullwing doors as well
because if you roll the car,
386
00:22:49,298 --> 00:22:50,959
how do you open them to get out?
387
00:22:51,006 --> 00:22:54,870
You're trapped in there, soaked
in petrol, burning, screaming.
388
00:22:54,949 --> 00:22:58,865
Now, to prevent that from happening,
Mercedes has fitted the hinges
389
00:22:58,980 --> 00:23:01,232
with explosive bolts that
are designed to fire
390
00:23:01,256 --> 00:23:03,088
if the car goes upside down.
391
00:23:03,738 --> 00:23:06,013
So, these doors then,
what they are are heavy,
392
00:23:06,130 --> 00:23:09,810
unnecessary, embarrassing bombs.
393
00:23:11,802 --> 00:23:14,521
Now however there is a solution.
394
00:23:15,587 --> 00:23:20,513
The SLS Roadster, a car which
offers all of the coupe's thrills,
395
00:23:20,646 --> 00:23:23,478
without leaving you purple-faced
with embarrassment,
396
00:23:23,518 --> 00:23:25,474
every time you get out of it.
397
00:23:26,394 --> 00:23:30,662
That is my idea of the perfect car.
398
00:23:31,271 --> 00:23:34,021
But it is quite difficult
to explain why.
399
00:23:36,518 --> 00:23:41,450
First of all, it costs as near as
makes no difference, £200,000.
400
00:23:41,490 --> 00:23:46,032
Which means it's in the same sort
of price bracket as a Rolls-Royce.
401
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:49,805
And with a Rolls-Royce you get more...
402
00:23:50,442 --> 00:23:52,641
car.
403
00:23:55,082 --> 00:24:00,194
Of course, with this you get
the magnificent jackhammer
404
00:24:01,109 --> 00:24:03,993
50 cal, AMG soundtrack.
405
00:24:04,048 --> 00:24:08,102
ENGINE REVS
406
00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:14,344
But if that's all you want, why
not buy a much cheaper C-Class?
407
00:24:18,050 --> 00:24:23,042
This four-door saloon makes
exactly... the same sort of racket.
408
00:24:23,082 --> 00:24:24,946
ENGINE REVS
409
00:24:24,986 --> 00:24:27,938
For around a quarter of the price.
410
00:24:28,946 --> 00:24:33,534
Of course, you may say, "A-ha, I
like being exposed to the elements."
411
00:24:33,926 --> 00:24:37,508
I understand that, but I'll
let you into a little secret,
412
00:24:37,581 --> 00:24:40,696
once you're doing 70 miles
an hour in a convertible,
413
00:24:40,859 --> 00:24:44,633
all you really notice is the
wind rushing through your hair,
414
00:24:44,689 --> 00:24:49,548
nothing about the car at all, the
wind is an all-consuming thing.
415
00:24:50,362 --> 00:24:54,042
So, 70 miles an hour
feels exactly the same
416
00:24:54,082 --> 00:24:59,978
whether you're in this,
or this, or this.
417
00:25:00,018 --> 00:25:04,758
Let me put it this way, when
you're... being attacked by a lion,
418
00:25:04,798 --> 00:25:08,938
it doesn't really matter whether
you're in a bungalow or a mansion.
419
00:25:09,081 --> 00:25:13,257
Being attacked by a
lion is the main thing.
420
00:25:13,578 --> 00:25:16,126
Of course, at this point you may say,
421
00:25:16,171 --> 00:25:21,055
"Yes, but I want a big V8
rear drive sports car."
422
00:25:24,206 --> 00:25:30,354
So, what's wrong with this?
The big V8 rear drive Jaguar XKR.
423
00:25:30,394 --> 00:25:33,758
It's very similar to the
Mercedes, except that to my eye,
424
00:25:33,798 --> 00:25:38,469
it looks even better, and is
less than half the price.
425
00:25:41,845 --> 00:25:45,429
Of course, you may think
the SLS is more technical,
426
00:25:45,469 --> 00:25:49,048
more spectacular, and
that's true, it is.
427
00:25:51,821 --> 00:25:55,423
The engine is a masterpiece.
428
00:25:56,298 --> 00:25:59,414
The seven speed, double clutch gearbox
429
00:25:59,454 --> 00:26:02,407
is mounted at the back for
better weight distribution.
430
00:26:03,890 --> 00:26:07,010
It's light. The prop shaft
is made from carbon fibre
431
00:26:07,050 --> 00:26:09,694
and only weighs four kilograms.
432
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:11,844
And all the little changes they've made
433
00:26:11,897 --> 00:26:14,954
to the suspension on the
convertible are so successful
434
00:26:14,989 --> 00:26:18,579
they're applying them
to the coupe as well.
435
00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:24,430
However don't be fooled
into thinking this is
436
00:26:24,466 --> 00:26:27,243
some kind of track-munching
driver's car...
437
00:26:27,316 --> 00:26:29,094
TYRES SQUEAL
438
00:26:29,133 --> 00:26:33,508
because, it isn't. Argh!
439
00:26:35,894 --> 00:26:37,649
Woah! God, strewth.
440
00:26:40,913 --> 00:26:44,125
It doesn't grip, steer, stop,
441
00:26:44,204 --> 00:26:47,978
or turn anything like
as well as a Ferrari.
442
00:26:48,018 --> 00:26:53,102
Or an Aston Martin DBS, or even a BMW.
443
00:26:53,149 --> 00:26:55,038
HE LAUGHS
444
00:26:55,078 --> 00:26:57,078
BMW M3.
445
00:27:01,418 --> 00:27:06,194
You know what this is like,
an old American muscle car.
446
00:27:06,234 --> 00:27:10,786
A Dodge Charger with a
three-pointed star on the nose.
447
00:27:10,826 --> 00:27:13,570
You could almost call it crude.
448
00:27:13,930 --> 00:27:17,982
So, there are many, many reasons
why you would not buy an SLS,
449
00:27:18,016 --> 00:27:21,098
but there's one why you would,
450
00:27:21,138 --> 00:27:23,618
because it is fantastic.
451
00:27:28,138 --> 00:27:31,786
Cars these days are
also safe, and refined,
452
00:27:31,826 --> 00:27:35,180
and they're all built in
wheat-free multi-ethnic factories,
453
00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:39,094
with one eye on Johnny polar
bear, but this just isn't.
454
00:27:42,138 --> 00:27:47,204
It's just a gigantic,
two-fingered noisy salute
455
00:27:47,236 --> 00:27:51,274
to the whole concept of
sustainable eco-ism.
456
00:27:55,078 --> 00:27:59,818
It's as in tune with the times
as a blaze at an oil refinery,
457
00:27:59,858 --> 00:28:02,162
and I love that.
458
00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:05,098
I also love the idiotically long bonnet,
459
00:28:05,138 --> 00:28:08,914
and the 571 horsepowers
that live beneath it.
460
00:28:08,954 --> 00:28:11,462
I love the speed of the roof, too.
461
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:16,766
You really can get it up or down at...
a set of lights. I love its doors.
462
00:28:17,014 --> 00:28:19,194
I love its windscreen wipers.
463
00:28:19,234 --> 00:28:21,942
I love the dust caps on the tyre valves.
464
00:28:21,982 --> 00:28:25,258
I love the men who made
it, I love Germany.
465
00:28:25,298 --> 00:28:28,010
I want to move there, and
have cold meat for breakfast,
466
00:28:28,050 --> 00:28:30,053
and wear shorts.
467
00:28:31,954 --> 00:28:36,474
I also love the way that in here,
it just feels like a Mercedes,
468
00:28:37,232 --> 00:28:38,660
apart from that, obviously.
469
00:28:38,725 --> 00:28:41,694
And that, and that, and that.
470
00:28:41,734 --> 00:28:43,974
I mean, apart from the launch control
471
00:28:44,014 --> 00:28:46,346
and all those buttons
there it feels normal.
472
00:28:46,386 --> 00:28:51,917
There's no sense that you're in a
swivel-eyed destroyer of worlds.
473
00:28:54,631 --> 00:28:57,531
There are many cars on the market today
474
00:28:57,532 --> 00:29:00,996
for people who want to be sensible.
475
00:29:01,036 --> 00:29:06,505
The SLS is rare because
it's for people who don't.
476
00:29:11,036 --> 00:29:14,040
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
477
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:19,024
I like it, that's just...
You love this thing, don't you?
478
00:29:19,064 --> 00:29:22,365
It's such a perfect car. It is perfect.
479
00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:24,928
I can see why you love it,
looking at you with it.
480
00:29:24,968 --> 00:29:28,848
Think about it.
It's loud, old-fashioned, not sensible,
481
00:29:28,888 --> 00:29:31,556
it's got a hole in the top,
it's you, with a tax disc.
482
00:29:31,596 --> 00:29:33,536
That's what it is. Yes, it is.
483
00:29:33,576 --> 00:29:37,764
And now, we must find out how
fast it goes round our track,
484
00:29:38,075 --> 00:29:40,533
and that means handing it over
to our tame racing driver.
485
00:29:40,826 --> 00:29:43,648
Some say that he's the
only man in Britain
486
00:29:43,688 --> 00:29:47,712
who knows what B&Q stands for.
487
00:29:48,079 --> 00:29:52,039
And that he can't give his
million-pound bonus back
488
00:29:52,084 --> 00:29:54,772
because he's already spent it...
489
00:29:54,812 --> 00:29:56,744
on French breast implants.
490
00:29:56,784 --> 00:30:00,288
All we know is... he's called The Stig.
491
00:30:00,328 --> 00:30:06,155
And he's off. Nice, clean
start on this crisp, dry day.
492
00:30:06,358 --> 00:30:08,460
That is pure engine sound
you're hearing, by the way.
493
00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:10,550
No active exhaust valve
nonsense in the SLS.
494
00:30:10,551 --> 00:30:12,600
First corner.
495
00:30:12,694 --> 00:30:16,084
He's getting a bit sideways on
the way out, but he's through!
496
00:30:16,124 --> 00:30:19,332
MUSIC: Theme tune from "The Archers"
497
00:30:19,372 --> 00:30:21,276
Sorry, I should explain,
498
00:30:21,316 --> 00:30:24,868
the Stig has become a massive
Archers fan recently.
499
00:30:24,908 --> 00:30:27,836
He keeps it tidy through
Chicago down to Hammerhead.
500
00:30:27,876 --> 00:30:30,428
This is a car that needs
very precise driving.
501
00:30:30,468 --> 00:30:32,804
Too violent with the
steering, throttle or brakes
502
00:30:32,844 --> 00:30:34,671
and it will bite you.
503
00:30:34,694 --> 00:30:36,905
Look at that. Beautifully done.
504
00:30:36,937 --> 00:30:38,694
VOICES FROM THE ARCHERS:
'I'll be as quick as I can.
505
00:30:38,734 --> 00:30:40,913
'I can help, if that'll
speed things up.'
506
00:30:41,823 --> 00:30:45,859
Rural drivel there.
Up the gears to Follow-Through
507
00:30:45,890 --> 00:30:47,556
like all flappy-pedal boxers.
508
00:30:47,596 --> 00:30:50,655
Not so good in town, but
it works brilliantly here.
509
00:30:50,694 --> 00:30:52,540
OK, he's passed the tyres.
510
00:30:52,569 --> 00:30:56,568
Roadster is 40 kilos heavier than
the Coupe, so will it be slower?
511
00:30:56,608 --> 00:30:59,584
We'll never know, because the
Coupe has never been round here.
512
00:30:59,624 --> 00:31:02,460
That's Gambon done and across the line!
513
00:31:05,108 --> 00:31:06,804
It did it...
514
00:31:06,844 --> 00:31:08,556
It did it...
515
00:31:08,596 --> 00:31:10,084
No. Higher than that.
516
00:31:10,124 --> 00:31:14,208
1.19.6, so it's there,
517
00:31:14,248 --> 00:31:17,757
between the Lamborghini Gallardo
and a Ferrari Scuderia.
518
00:31:17,812 --> 00:31:20,692
Not bad, but it's hardly
in the medals, is it?
519
00:31:20,732 --> 00:31:24,972
What this is, it's like
Robert Downey Jnr.
520
00:31:25,012 --> 00:31:28,148
He's never won an Oscar,
but he's still brilliant.
521
00:31:28,188 --> 00:31:30,890
Anyway...
I've got no idea what that means.
522
00:31:30,968 --> 00:31:32,428
Yes, well, you work it out,
523
00:31:32,492 --> 00:31:36,023
because it is time to put a star
in our reasonably-priced car.
524
00:31:36,069 --> 00:31:40,584
Is it Robert Downey Junior? No.
But he is an American, like you.
525
00:31:40,624 --> 00:31:41,768
I'm not.
526
00:31:41,808 --> 00:31:45,921
Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome Matt Le Blanc!
527
00:31:45,968 --> 00:31:51,928
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
528
00:31:52,936 --> 00:31:55,536
Have a seat. He's here!
529
00:32:00,612 --> 00:32:02,728
That's a good welcome.
530
00:32:02,768 --> 00:32:04,428
Now, first of all,
531
00:32:04,468 --> 00:32:06,060
hearty congratulations
on your Golden Globe.
532
00:32:06,061 --> 00:32:07,651
Last week, wasn't it?
533
00:32:07,704 --> 00:32:10,980
Last week or the week before,
I don't know, I had to fly...
534
00:32:11,020 --> 00:32:13,164
I came back here after Christmas...
535
00:32:13,204 --> 00:32:17,245
Is it easier to win an award or lose one
536
00:32:17,292 --> 00:32:19,496
in terms of getting your face right?
I'm never quite sure.
537
00:32:19,536 --> 00:32:23,128
If you win, you've got to
look proud, but not smug,
538
00:32:23,167 --> 00:32:25,144
and that's a tricky thing to do.
539
00:32:25,214 --> 00:32:27,573
I've got a lot of practice
at the losing face.
540
00:32:27,574 --> 00:32:29,932
The losing face? Yes.
541
00:32:29,972 --> 00:32:32,180
The camera sits at your
table and stays on you
542
00:32:32,220 --> 00:32:34,340
and the guy's halfway through his speech
543
00:32:34,380 --> 00:32:36,476
and they still have a
camera on you... so you...
544
00:32:36,516 --> 00:32:38,320
LAUGHTER
545
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:39,932
He deserved it, yeah.
546
00:32:39,972 --> 00:32:43,737
We lost spectacularly last week to
a programme called This Morning.
547
00:32:43,808 --> 00:32:46,441
You know this? No. It's a programme...
548
00:32:46,534 --> 00:32:48,620
Fix! Fix!
549
00:32:48,660 --> 00:32:53,164
Well, no, it's a programme where men
put their fingers in other men.
550
00:32:53,204 --> 00:32:55,804
LAUGHTER
551
00:32:55,844 --> 00:32:59,706
They did! And as a result of that,
we were blown out of the water.
552
00:32:59,781 --> 00:33:03,362
The viewing public likes that more.
So well done, This Morning.
553
00:33:05,828 --> 00:33:08,912
You won your Golden Globe for Episodes.
554
00:33:08,952 --> 00:33:10,956
I don't know if anybody
here has seen Episodes.
555
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,360
I think it is just brilliant.
556
00:33:13,417 --> 00:33:15,761
Thank you.
You've just done the second series,
557
00:33:15,820 --> 00:33:18,433
which is why you're here.
We finished a few days ago.
558
00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:20,042
Talk us through the plot.
559
00:33:20,082 --> 00:33:21,957
Because of those of you
who have not seen yet
560
00:33:22,025 --> 00:33:25,771
OK, it's a show about a fictitious
show that starts in the UK
561
00:33:25,897 --> 00:33:30,641
and it's bought by the American networks
to be revamped and remade in the States.
562
00:33:30,768 --> 00:33:34,003
They promise them the
world and one by one,
563
00:33:34,183 --> 00:33:36,800
every promise is broken, including
the fact that they keep
564
00:33:36,831 --> 00:33:40,901
their lead actor played by Richard
Griffiths and they tell him,
565
00:33:40,939 --> 00:33:44,042
"No, can't have him.
You're going to hire a Matt Le Blanc."
566
00:33:44,456 --> 00:33:47,912
So I play this weird,
bizarre version of myself.
567
00:33:47,927 --> 00:33:52,876
Of course, Episodes has not
yet become the huge hit.
568
00:33:52,925 --> 00:33:55,776
What you're best known for is...
Well, I tell you what,
569
00:33:55,815 --> 00:33:58,800
let's show you a clip of you
in your best role. Here it is.
570
00:33:59,781 --> 00:34:03,337
This is Bob Seger, obviously.
Night Moves.
571
00:34:03,447 --> 00:34:07,847
This was the video shot in 1994,
and if we look very carefully,
572
00:34:08,020 --> 00:34:13,441
here's the heroine and... whoa!
Wait a minute! Who is that?!
573
00:34:16,456 --> 00:34:20,664
That was '94.
Friends had already started in '94,
574
00:34:20,704 --> 00:34:23,132
so you were moonlighting
in Seger videos.
575
00:34:23,172 --> 00:34:25,508
A friend of mine directed
that and he called me
576
00:34:25,548 --> 00:34:28,944
and said, "Hey, I'm doing a video
for Bob Seger for Night Moves.
577
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:31,980
"Do you want to be the hero guy?
" And I said, "Sure, yeah."
578
00:34:32,020 --> 00:34:36,253
So I go down there and they get in
the little trailer to get ready,
579
00:34:36,308 --> 00:34:39,628
we're at this drive-in theatre,
and someone knocks on the door
580
00:34:39,706 --> 00:34:41,980
and says, "Bob Seger would like
to see you in his motor home."
581
00:34:42,057 --> 00:34:46,784
So I go over and I go into the motor
home and he starts talking me through
582
00:34:46,839 --> 00:34:49,444
what it was like when he was
young and going to the drive-in
583
00:34:49,484 --> 00:34:53,132
and trying to pick up girls and he
breaks out a bottle of tequila.
584
00:34:53,172 --> 00:34:56,495
Next thing I know, we down
a whole bottle of tequila,
585
00:34:56,558 --> 00:34:58,761
Bob Seger and I, and then
they knock on the door,
586
00:34:58,814 --> 00:35:02,506
"Ready for you on set!
" So I'm drunk in the whole video.
587
00:35:02,983 --> 00:35:04,550
And it wasn't just that.
588
00:35:04,606 --> 00:35:07,167
You were also in a Tom Petty video.
589
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,788
Drunk in that one too.
590
00:35:09,828 --> 00:35:12,862
Drunk today? Hmm, yeah. A little bit.
591
00:35:14,358 --> 00:35:18,826
Now, cars. I know you are
what we call a petrol head,
592
00:35:18,897 --> 00:35:21,303
I think you call a gear head.
We know this...
593
00:35:21,358 --> 00:35:23,164
I've got an inkling of it,
594
00:35:23,204 --> 00:35:25,696
because when I was watching Episodes,
595
00:35:25,736 --> 00:35:28,303
we've got a clip here which
gives us a bit of an insight.
596
00:35:28,342 --> 00:35:29,976
Let's just run this.
597
00:35:30,016 --> 00:35:32,319
Tell me that's not yours! You like?
598
00:35:32,693 --> 00:35:34,014
Oh!
599
00:35:34,272 --> 00:35:37,678
I read there was only three
in the whole world. Yes.
600
00:35:38,188 --> 00:35:41,011
Me, the Sultan of Brunei
and some drug guy.
601
00:35:41,012 --> 00:35:43,834
Oh, it's magnificent.
602
00:35:43,976 --> 00:35:45,326
Here.
603
00:35:47,222 --> 00:35:50,733
And that's while I was never picked.
Really? Go for it!
604
00:35:51,865 --> 00:35:54,241
I am SO happy.
605
00:35:54,545 --> 00:35:56,661
Oh!
606
00:35:57,077 --> 00:35:59,139
Oh!
607
00:36:00,009 --> 00:36:01,621
Oh!
608
00:36:01,802 --> 00:36:04,116
Get a room! Can I?
609
00:36:04,589 --> 00:36:06,631
I wish I knew how to drive.
610
00:36:12,217 --> 00:36:15,816
That's an Alfa 8C convertible.
That's a very rare car.
611
00:36:15,856 --> 00:36:18,724
You end up in an XK
in that first series.
612
00:36:18,764 --> 00:36:21,320
Right. That was a funny story
about that car because
613
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:25,014
when they agree to let us use it in
the show, it hadn't been sold yet.
614
00:36:25,068 --> 00:36:27,464
By the time we needed it,
someone had bought it,
615
00:36:27,566 --> 00:36:30,920
so it showed up with its own
security team and everything else.
616
00:36:30,974 --> 00:36:34,741
I got to drive it maybe five feet.
YOU did? Yeah.
617
00:36:34,802 --> 00:36:37,234
Steve drove it further than I did.
618
00:36:37,461 --> 00:36:41,905
This year, it's Ron Dennis's
personal Mercedes SLR he loaned us.
619
00:36:42,012 --> 00:36:45,006
What was that like?
I didn't get to drive that one either!
620
00:36:46,540 --> 00:36:49,967
You're the only one crazy enough to let
me behind the wheel, apparently.
621
00:36:50,054 --> 00:36:55,491
Now, your car history is chequered,
Isn't it? At best, yes.
622
00:36:55,605 --> 00:36:58,459
You had an Audi 5000,
which we'd call 100.
623
00:36:58,552 --> 00:37:01,668
That was the one that had the
unintended acceleration stories.
624
00:37:01,708 --> 00:37:04,920
Yeah, not the one I had,
but I heard about that.
625
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,920
It was like a crap shoot.
626
00:37:07,733 --> 00:37:10,501
And then there was a
Fiat X1/9 that came,
627
00:37:10,842 --> 00:37:13,349
which is like a motorised vajazzle,
I always think, the X1/9.
628
00:37:13,420 --> 00:37:18,200
Yeah, that was probably a mistake.
I bought it at a used car lot.
629
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:21,416
I was driving by and, you know, "Ooh!
630
00:37:21,456 --> 00:37:24,008
"That looks like a good waste
of money right there."
631
00:37:24,048 --> 00:37:26,980
You used to have a Porsche
Turbo, didn't you?
632
00:37:27,020 --> 00:37:30,544
Yeah, I had a 2000 996 turbo.
633
00:37:30,584 --> 00:37:32,733
As I understand it, you modified that,
634
00:37:32,784 --> 00:37:36,212
cos when we buy cars in
Europe, BMWs or Porsches
635
00:37:36,245 --> 00:37:39,139
or whatever they might be,
that's what they're like,
636
00:37:39,176 --> 00:37:40,480
whereas in the States,
637
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,728
there seems to be a culture of you
buy a car and then you take it
638
00:37:43,768 --> 00:37:46,480
to a shop and somebody tweaks
it and fiddles with it.
639
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,280
Right. Is that something you
just feel you have to do?
640
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:54,537
Well, for me, it's like, if someone who
doesn't know anything about cars
641
00:37:54,607 --> 00:37:57,531
can just go down to the
store and get the same car,
642
00:37:57,594 --> 00:37:59,233
that's not right.
643
00:37:59,276 --> 00:38:03,037
I mean, I love cars, so I should
go a LITTLE faster, I think.
644
00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:04,696
So what did you do to the Turbo?
645
00:38:04,736 --> 00:38:08,760
The Turbo, I had a Gemballa
computer programme put in it
646
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,696
and an exhaust and TechArt suspension.
647
00:38:11,736 --> 00:38:16,319
Then I took it in to have the mass
air sensor was starting to...
648
00:38:16,412 --> 00:38:18,760
This is probably super-boring
for most people.
649
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,168
No, it's Top Gear, for once you're
allowed to talk about this.
650
00:38:22,208 --> 00:38:25,076
The Tonight Show wouldn't let
me talk about any of this.
651
00:38:25,116 --> 00:38:27,448
Are you a man who goes
and drives on circuits?
652
00:38:28,144 --> 00:38:31,162
Occasionally, yeah,
mostly with the bikes.
653
00:38:31,248 --> 00:38:34,569
I know that's a sore subject with you.
No, you can talk about bikes.
654
00:38:34,622 --> 00:38:36,201
You've got three seconds.
655
00:38:37,459 --> 00:38:39,416
And they're up.
656
00:38:39,456 --> 00:38:41,948
So, have you ever driven
round Laguna Seca,
657
00:38:41,988 --> 00:38:44,104
which is your nearest track, I guess?
658
00:38:44,144 --> 00:38:47,260
Yeah, Willow Springs is probably closer,
659
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:49,294
but Laguna Seca is such a
beautiful so facility.
660
00:38:49,295 --> 00:38:51,288
You know, the Corkscrew there.
661
00:38:51,328 --> 00:38:54,448
The Corkscrew is a corner
that I just find impossible
662
00:38:54,488 --> 00:38:56,288
to get round without crashing.
663
00:38:56,328 --> 00:39:01,201
Six stories I think it drops.
It's left, right, it's six stories.
664
00:39:01,254 --> 00:39:04,014
Yeah, it's not my idea of fun.
Our track is much easier.
665
00:39:04,672 --> 00:39:07,951
I know you took your trip
down here quite seriously,
666
00:39:08,016 --> 00:39:11,088
because you told our researcher,
you were asking about the Kia
667
00:39:11,128 --> 00:39:14,436
and the roll cage, which you said,
"Ah, that'll make it more rigid."
668
00:39:14,541 --> 00:39:18,459
We've never had any of this before
from a guest, somebody that keen.
669
00:39:18,580 --> 00:39:20,679
That's probably the best
handling Kia there is.
670
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:24,863
Pretty nice little car.
Who here would like to see Matt's lap?
671
00:39:25,450 --> 00:39:28,984
AUDIENCE CHEERS IN ASSENT Me too, yeah!
Let's have a look.
672
00:39:33,208 --> 00:39:36,664
Just don't use the brake
as much, that's all.
673
00:39:36,704 --> 00:39:39,132
No, you're going to
need the brakes there.
674
00:39:39,172 --> 00:39:41,664
Were you OK with having a
stick-shift on your left?
675
00:39:41,704 --> 00:39:44,448
Yeah, I missed a couple of
shifts here and there, but...
676
00:39:44,488 --> 00:39:48,508
Well, that looks, that's the sort
of tidy corner. Sloppy at best.
677
00:39:48,548 --> 00:39:51,040
We're keeping it the tidy through there.
678
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,008
The more boring it looks,
the faster it often is.
679
00:39:54,048 --> 00:39:58,088
That's, well, very boring indeed
through there. Hammerhead.
680
00:39:58,128 --> 00:40:03,228
Almost got the front wheel off
the ground there, but not quite.
681
00:40:03,268 --> 00:40:06,577
That's very tight on the way out.
682
00:40:09,676 --> 00:40:12,200
HE WHISTLES
683
00:40:12,263 --> 00:40:15,415
It was obviously boring you
to death as well out there.
684
00:40:15,508 --> 00:40:18,962
Flat through there, yeah, no lifting.
685
00:40:20,548 --> 00:40:25,088
Your heart is beating
once every three hours.
686
00:40:25,128 --> 00:40:31,412
You're going to cut this one.
Yeah... that's very cut. Gambon, cut it.
687
00:40:31,452 --> 00:40:35,149
Oh, yes, very cut.
And there we are, across the line.
688
00:40:41,424 --> 00:40:45,320
What do you reckon? Um...
689
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,700
Well, hopefully in the
top half somewhere.
690
00:40:47,701 --> 00:40:50,040
Hopefully in the top half.
691
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:54,352
Well, often when laps look
that drama-less, as it were,
692
00:40:54,392 --> 00:40:56,072
they can be quite fast.
693
00:40:56,112 --> 00:41:00,876
So there's the board.
Rowan Atkinson currently leading 1.42.2.
694
00:41:00,915 --> 00:41:04,415
That's quick.
Yes, 1.42.2 is unbelievably quick.
695
00:41:04,488 --> 00:41:07,548
Halfway would put you
with Bob Geldof, 1.48.1.
696
00:41:08,548 --> 00:41:12,321
You did it, Matt Le
Blanc, in one minute...
697
00:41:14,321 --> 00:41:16,600
40...
698
00:41:17,884 --> 00:41:19,164
two...
699
00:41:19,204 --> 00:41:21,104
AUDIENCE GASPS
700
00:41:21,144 --> 00:41:22,132
one.
701
00:41:22,172 --> 00:41:24,772
RAPTUROUS CHEERING
702
00:41:31,774 --> 00:41:33,985
Fastest ever!
703
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,079
Fastest ever! That's not bad.
704
00:41:42,585 --> 00:41:47,524
I just knew when I started...
Are you serious? Absolutely serious.
705
00:41:47,602 --> 00:41:51,602
You were apparently running at
1.42.2, absolutely level with Rowan,
706
00:41:51,665 --> 00:41:53,536
who, by the way, has just hung himself,
707
00:41:53,576 --> 00:41:57,563
and then on the last lap,
popped in at 1.42.1. Wow!
708
00:41:57,657 --> 00:41:59,480
So there we are, ladies and gentlemen,
709
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,696
the fastest guest we've ever had.
Matt Le Blanc!
710
00:42:05,016 --> 00:42:06,600
Thank you so much.
711
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,899
Thank you, thanks.
712
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:14,508
Now, we may be in a spot of
economic bother at the moment,
713
00:42:14,548 --> 00:42:18,848
however, Rolls-Royce, Bentley and
Aston Martin are all enjoying
714
00:42:18,888 --> 00:42:22,852
record sales, and all because
of demand from China.
715
00:42:23,173 --> 00:42:27,251
The thing is, though, that people with
adenoids are saying in five years' time,
716
00:42:27,316 --> 00:42:29,412
the Chinese are going
to stop buying our cars
717
00:42:29,452 --> 00:42:31,976
and WE will start buying theirs.
718
00:42:32,016 --> 00:42:33,985
In fact, if I had a pound
for everyone who said,
719
00:42:34,045 --> 00:42:39,157
"Soon you will be driving a Chinese car
," I'd be able to afford a Chinese car.
720
00:42:39,424 --> 00:42:43,970
To see if they have a point, Jeremy
and I decided to pop over to
721
00:42:44,015 --> 00:42:46,920
Beijing and find out what
all the fuss is about.
722
00:42:57,167 --> 00:42:58,728
For the last 50 years,
723
00:42:58,768 --> 00:43:01,740
there have been two types
of transport in China.
724
00:43:01,780 --> 00:43:06,691
If you were Chairman Mao, you had
a honky, red-flag armoured limo.
725
00:43:06,811 --> 00:43:10,331
If you were not Chairman
Mao, you had one of these.
726
00:43:12,523 --> 00:43:15,875
Or if you were really lucky,
you had one of these.
727
00:43:16,032 --> 00:43:18,692
Even in the early '90s,
the idea that you would
728
00:43:18,732 --> 00:43:21,581
own a car was complete madness,
729
00:43:21,621 --> 00:43:23,960
because you'd never have
been able to afford it,
730
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:27,972
and even if you could afford it,
you weren't allowed to have one.
731
00:43:28,012 --> 00:43:30,441
Now, though, things have changed.
732
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,754
In 1977, there were one
million cars in China.
733
00:43:44,807 --> 00:43:50,407
By 2008, there were 51 million.
Now there are 85 million.
734
00:43:50,448 --> 00:43:54,456
And every day that
number swells by 38,000.
735
00:43:54,496 --> 00:44:00,403
Somebody buys a new car in
China every 2.3 seconds.
736
00:44:03,672 --> 00:44:05,632
To keep up with demand,
737
00:44:05,672 --> 00:44:09,364
China's car factories are
running at light speed.
738
00:44:09,404 --> 00:44:15,708
Last year, the whole of Europe combined
produced 16.9 million vehicles.
739
00:44:15,748 --> 00:44:20,804
China all on its own produced
1.3 million more than that.
740
00:44:21,895 --> 00:44:26,144
And it's not just Chinese companies-
that are cashing in on the boom.
741
00:44:26,715 --> 00:44:30,403
Audi is now making long-wheelbase
versions of its cars
742
00:44:30,471 --> 00:44:33,787
specifically for sale in
China and nowhere else,
743
00:44:33,820 --> 00:44:38,432
because in China, space in the back-
matters more than anything else.
744
00:44:38,808 --> 00:44:43,067
China is now the world's
second-biggest oil consumer,
745
00:44:43,133 --> 00:44:47,965
taking more barrels per day
than India and Japan combined.
746
00:44:48,748 --> 00:44:52,621
By 2025, the road network
will be big enough to cover
747
00:44:52,654 --> 00:44:55,067
the whole of the British Isles...
748
00:44:55,137 --> 00:44:57,693
all of it, Scottish
Highlands, the lot...
749
00:44:57,984 --> 00:45:00,756
20 times over.
750
00:45:01,371 --> 00:45:04,048
So where did it all begin?
751
00:45:04,088 --> 00:45:08,504
Well, one of the first cars ever
to be sold in China was this.
752
00:45:09,059 --> 00:45:13,239
The CA6410UA.
753
00:45:13,489 --> 00:45:17,144
Better known to you and I
as the Austin Maestro.
754
00:45:17,184 --> 00:45:20,476
Actually, it's the
back end of a Maestro,
755
00:45:20,516 --> 00:45:25,348
but the front end of a Montego, and
it's powered by a Toyota engine.
756
00:45:25,388 --> 00:45:29,418
The history behind this car
though is even more complicated.
757
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:36,504
In 1998, a Chinese tobacco
company bought the tooling
758
00:45:36,544 --> 00:45:40,304
for the Maestro and the Montego
so they could be made in China.
759
00:45:40,344 --> 00:45:42,004
In order to make them in China,
760
00:45:42,044 --> 00:45:45,348
they had to tell the authorities
that they were building buses.
761
00:45:46,332 --> 00:45:49,152
This car... or I should say THESE cars,
762
00:45:49,199 --> 00:45:51,059
because this is a bit
of a cut-and-shut job...
763
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,215
these were terrible when they
were being built in Britain,
764
00:45:54,404 --> 00:45:58,246
so imagine what they like when they
were being made using worn-out tools
765
00:45:58,318 --> 00:46:02,494
by a company that's the Chinese
equivalent of Player's No 6.
766
00:46:02,652 --> 00:46:04,262
It's just hopeless!
767
00:46:10,036 --> 00:46:14,356
Pretty soon, various bright
sparks in China started to think.
768
00:46:14,496 --> 00:46:17,574
Why buy the rights to
make cars we don't want
769
00:46:17,682 --> 00:46:20,254
when we can just copy
the ones we DO want?
770
00:46:22,434 --> 00:46:25,068
The Chinese are very good
at this sort of thing.
771
00:46:25,108 --> 00:46:28,348
I'm speaking to you from
behind a pair of fake Ray-Bans
772
00:46:28,388 --> 00:46:32,800
wearing a fake Armani jacket,
carrying a fate Louis Vuitton bag,
773
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:36,708
in which we find a fake iPad
774
00:46:36,748 --> 00:46:40,456
and a fake iPhone.
775
00:46:40,628 --> 00:46:42,942
And if we consult my fake Omega,
776
00:46:43,191 --> 00:46:46,309
we see that it's 2.35. probably.
777
00:46:46,481 --> 00:46:49,960
Which means it is time to pop into
the fake Starbucks over there
778
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,300
for a cup of fake coffee.
779
00:46:52,340 --> 00:46:56,016
It seems, then, that the expression...
"copyright infringement"
780
00:46:56,056 --> 00:47:00,114
doesn't translate terribly
well into Mandarin.
781
00:47:01,496 --> 00:47:04,424
All of which explains this.
782
00:47:04,464 --> 00:47:07,832
It looks like a BMW X5,
783
00:47:07,872 --> 00:47:10,644
but actually, it's a blatant copy called
784
00:47:10,684 --> 00:47:19,168
the Shuanhuan S-CEO HBJ6474Y.
785
00:47:20,464 --> 00:47:23,543
Then there's this, a
copy of the Fiat Panda.
786
00:47:24,808 --> 00:47:28,387
And this, a copy of the Smart ForTwo.
787
00:47:29,592 --> 00:47:33,424
And this, a copy of the Daewoo Matiz.
788
00:47:33,464 --> 00:47:35,801
Did you hear about the
Lifan motorcycles?
789
00:47:36,128 --> 00:47:39,808
Lifan is a Chinese company that make
copies of small Honda motorcycles,
790
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:44,309
but to make sure you don't notice,
they change the name on the tank.
791
00:47:44,473 --> 00:47:49,309
To what? Hongda. H-O-N-G-D-A.
792
00:47:49,369 --> 00:47:52,449
Hongda? So on that basis,
is this Mini a Minging?
793
00:47:52,450 --> 00:47:55,528
It should be, yes.
794
00:47:55,604 --> 00:47:59,908
Because it is the most
tragic-looking thing. It's awful.
795
00:47:59,963 --> 00:48:01,983
It's like somebody's
described Mini to somebody
796
00:48:01,984 --> 00:48:04,003
on the telephone.
Or sent a blurry fax.
797
00:48:04,050 --> 00:48:05,559
"There we are, that's
what it looks like."
798
00:48:05,610 --> 00:48:07,637
It is very cheap. How much is it?
799
00:48:07,931 --> 00:48:10,219
£4,100. That is cheap.
800
00:48:10,321 --> 00:48:14,108
But this Toyota Aygo over
here is only£3,500.
801
00:48:14,225 --> 00:48:17,376
It's not a Aygo. That's an FO.
802
00:48:17,416 --> 00:48:21,156
That's what it's called. FO.
I think that's a message to Toyota
803
00:48:21,297 --> 00:48:25,112
if Toyota ever decide
to sue the fake makers.
804
00:48:25,152 --> 00:48:27,160
Do these people ever get taken to court?
805
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:32,864
Yeah. BMW sued the people making
the X5 fake and they lost.
806
00:48:32,904 --> 00:48:35,128
Really? Yeah.
The Chinese government said,
807
00:48:35,168 --> 00:48:37,376
"No, it doesn't look like
anything like an X5."
808
00:48:37,416 --> 00:48:40,141
That's funny, I thought they looked...
really similar. No, they don't.
809
00:48:40,307 --> 00:48:44,519
Don't they? No. It's just me?
No, it's just you. Right. OK.
810
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,563
It's easy to see why they were copying
811
00:48:47,619 --> 00:48:52,461
because when they tried to go it alone,
the results weren't very good.
812
00:48:55,436 --> 00:49:01,504
This tripod is the XF15OZK-4,
813
00:49:01,544 --> 00:49:04,832
and naturally, we
couldn't wait to try it.
814
00:49:04,872 --> 00:49:06,548
Right.
815
00:49:06,588 --> 00:49:08,800
You see one yet...
816
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,800
Oh, God!
817
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:12,472
James!
818
00:49:12,512 --> 00:49:15,500
'On the plus side, we now
knew where the engine was,
819
00:49:15,657 --> 00:49:19,445
'information that came in handy
about 20 seconds later.'
820
00:49:20,212 --> 00:49:23,452
ENGINE STRUGGLES TO START
821
00:49:23,492 --> 00:49:26,376
Come on!
822
00:49:26,416 --> 00:49:31,274
'After some local bodging, we
were back in and on our way.'
823
00:49:37,274 --> 00:49:39,408
Wow!
824
00:49:39,448 --> 00:49:42,548
Oh, that's reverse.
That's gone into nought, fifth, second.
825
00:49:43,295 --> 00:49:45,311
First, that was it.
826
00:49:46,308 --> 00:49:47,905
Fourth.
827
00:49:50,512 --> 00:49:52,732
That's going to look very
funny from the outside, that.
828
00:49:52,733 --> 00:49:54,952
Now you're doing second.
829
00:49:55,976 --> 00:49:59,413
'Having mastered the gearbox,
it was time to open up
830
00:49:59,479 --> 00:50:02,920
'the single-cylinder
12-horsepower engine.'
831
00:50:06,620 --> 00:50:10,311
The acceleration is blinding!
832
00:50:12,716 --> 00:50:15,220
It's like a safety device.
833
00:50:15,260 --> 00:50:18,999
You accelerate too hard, your
feet come off the pedal.
834
00:50:23,184 --> 00:50:26,710
Hold on to your spine. Ah!
835
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,784
2004, this car was launched.
836
00:50:31,824 --> 00:50:33,326
If I'd shown this to
you and asked you when
837
00:50:33,327 --> 00:50:34,827
it was built, when
would you have said?
838
00:50:34,917 --> 00:50:38,217
1957. I would say it was
older than me. Yeah.
839
00:50:38,344 --> 00:50:40,616
Ow! Ow!
840
00:50:40,852 --> 00:50:42,436
Poor quality!
841
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:44,640
BOTH: Uh!
842
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:49,280
Come on, redeeming feature, James.
There must be a redeeming feature.
843
00:50:49,327 --> 00:50:53,014
Er... It's character-building.
844
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,520
No, because I mean this... BOTH: Oh, no!
845
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,092
CARS HORNS BEEP
846
00:50:59,132 --> 00:51:04,015
ENGINE STRUGGLES TO START
847
00:51:05,524 --> 00:51:07,406
I think our test drive's over.
848
00:51:09,368 --> 00:51:13,406
So we moved on to look at some
more modern Chinese cars.
849
00:51:17,226 --> 00:51:20,956
This is the JACJ7.
850
00:51:20,996 --> 00:51:24,920
At the 6th annual Chinese
government procurement conference,
851
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:29,032
it won the highly coveted
first choice in middle class
852
00:51:29,072 --> 00:51:31,375
of government procurement award.
853
00:51:34,461 --> 00:51:37,805
And then there's the
Haval M2 which is...
854
00:51:38,304 --> 00:51:41,851
Well, we have absolutely
no idea what it is.
855
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,586
Can I read you something
from the blurb? Yeah.
856
00:51:46,244 --> 00:51:50,289
About the styling of the M2.
I think this absolutely sums it up.
857
00:51:51,368 --> 00:51:54,672
"Body on the side of the
lion to go straight fair
858
00:51:54,856 --> 00:51:57,898
"with enough of the masculine
qualities of men."
859
00:52:02,648 --> 00:52:07,906
If we're honest, the M2 and
the J7 aren't much good.
860
00:52:10,648 --> 00:52:14,406
So, are there any
Chinese cars which are?
861
00:52:18,055 --> 00:52:21,344
Well, this is a Guangzhou Trumpchi.
862
00:52:23,368 --> 00:52:26,594
And it's not made from tin
foil or bits of old Austin.
863
00:52:26,718 --> 00:52:34,617
Underneath, it's an Alfa Romeo 166.
This might be all right.
864
00:52:37,711 --> 00:52:42,469
I think, however, that this
Roewe 350 will be even better.
865
00:52:43,328 --> 00:52:47,420
The Roewe 350 is particularly important,
866
00:52:47,460 --> 00:52:51,764
because it will eventually become
an MG in Britain, the MG 5.
867
00:52:51,804 --> 00:52:53,351
It will be changed slightly.
868
00:52:53,445 --> 00:52:55,593
The engine will be different because
869
00:52:55,633 --> 00:52:58,565
it needs to meet legislation
for emissions, and so on.
870
00:52:58,628 --> 00:53:01,492
But basically, I'm driving
a car that you will
871
00:53:01,570 --> 00:53:03,773
be able to buy in Britain very soon.
872
00:53:06,088 --> 00:53:11,484
Essentially, then, what we have
here is an Alfa Romeo and an MG.
873
00:53:11,524 --> 00:53:14,672
Those, of course, are
very sporting names,
874
00:53:14,740 --> 00:53:18,453
and that's why we've come to
this very picturesque racetrack.
875
00:53:20,942 --> 00:53:25,422
What we're going to do is see
which of these cars can set
876
00:53:25,529 --> 00:53:29,021
the fastest lap time.
Well, WE'RE not. No, we're not.
877
00:53:29,099 --> 00:53:31,311
We're going to use our
tame racing driver.
878
00:53:31,429 --> 00:53:33,965
Some say he's the Stig, but he isn't.
879
00:53:34,256 --> 00:53:36,844
He is the Stig's Chinese cousin.
880
00:53:42,734 --> 00:53:47,094
Now, I should explain, driving
is his second favourite thing.
881
00:53:47,147 --> 00:53:50,570
What's his first favourite thing?
Attacking people. He does it a lot.
882
00:53:51,664 --> 00:53:54,578
He's constantly at it.
Why are you doing that?
883
00:53:55,632 --> 00:53:58,188
Why don't you go and do some driving?
884
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,328
Do some driving. Get into the car!
885
00:54:00,368 --> 00:54:02,922
Stop attacking us! Get in the car.
886
00:54:03,061 --> 00:54:06,156
No, he's got to get in the car.
Get in the car.
887
00:54:06,240 --> 00:54:09,453
Trumpchi. Trumpchi.
Get in the Trumpchi. No!
888
00:54:11,951 --> 00:54:15,140
No, that's the director.
That's the director!
889
00:54:17,390 --> 00:54:19,844
What if I start the
engine, would that do it?
890
00:54:19,966 --> 00:54:23,174
Come on, come on, in you go.
They bow, don't they?
891
00:54:23,284 --> 00:54:25,547
Go in. Get in. Oh, yes!
892
00:54:29,984 --> 00:54:32,453
That's the worst Stig we've ever had.
893
00:54:35,810 --> 00:54:37,810
HE COUNTS DOWN
894
00:54:43,886 --> 00:54:46,992
Attack Stig doesn't attack
the throttle, does he?
895
00:54:47,836 --> 00:54:49,375
Good-looking car, that.
896
00:54:49,376 --> 00:54:50,914
It is a good-looking car,
it's growing on me.
897
00:54:50,984 --> 00:54:54,250
It's got the boot shape of
the Lancia Gamma. Yeah.
898
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,945
And it has an Alfa engine. Does it? Yes.
899
00:55:01,820 --> 00:55:04,136
But it is called a Trumpchi.
It is, but...
900
00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:08,108
That is quite funny.
What are you driving these days, Jeremy?
901
00:55:08,148 --> 00:55:10,953
Well, it's interesting...
underneath, it's an Alfa.
902
00:55:10,997 --> 00:55:12,523
It is a Trumpchi.
903
00:55:13,766 --> 00:55:19,445
Attack Stig is back, everybody!
Watch out! And across the line.
904
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:21,920
1.50, dead.
905
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:25,824
We've got to get him out of
that car and into the Roewe.
906
00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:28,414
Get him in the Roewe as
quickly as possible.
907
00:55:28,461 --> 00:55:31,360
Get him in the Roewe! It's interesting.
908
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:32,664
He's attacking the starter.
909
00:55:32,779 --> 00:55:35,363
I thought it was a racist thing,
he just didn't like us.
910
00:55:35,864 --> 00:55:41,133
He's coming towards us now. No.
You were good! 150 dead.
911
00:55:41,708 --> 00:55:46,140
Eventually, Attack Stig was
corralled into James's Roewe.
912
00:55:47,653 --> 00:55:52,349
HE COUNTS DOWN
913
00:55:52,930 --> 00:55:55,062
That begins quickly.
914
00:55:55,992 --> 00:55:59,572
How many horsepower has it got? 107.
915
00:56:00,515 --> 00:56:02,070
That's a 1.5, isn't it?
916
00:56:03,048 --> 00:56:06,324
How have they got so few horsepower?
I don't know.
917
00:56:06,638 --> 00:56:10,301
And I don't like to sound like you,
But that's not enough power.
918
00:56:11,176 --> 00:56:14,136
Because they called it
Roewe, because Roewe...
919
00:56:14,176 --> 00:56:16,264
BOTH: Is how they would say Rover.
920
00:56:16,304 --> 00:56:20,051
Yeah. I thought they'd say Lover.
921
00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:27,700
The seconds ticked by, but
there was no sign of my Roewe.
922
00:56:27,740 --> 00:56:29,919
Where has he gone? I don't know.
923
00:56:34,304 --> 00:56:37,489
After we dragged Attack
Stig off the marshal...
924
00:56:37,513 --> 00:56:39,037
Across the line!
925
00:56:39,076 --> 00:56:41,739
We got a clean lap time for the Roewe.
926
00:56:42,233 --> 00:56:45,845
Victory by one tenth of a second.
927
00:56:46,612 --> 00:56:50,920
A fairly hollow victory, though, as...
we estimate that on the same track
928
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:55,817
a comparable European car would
be ten or 15 seconds faster.
929
00:56:57,176 --> 00:56:59,480
So, what about safety?
930
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:04,076
Chinese crash tests are much the
same as the ones we have in Europe.
931
00:57:04,116 --> 00:57:07,116
But the speeds are a bit lower.
932
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:33,512
Any injuries? None at all. Nothing?
933
00:57:33,552 --> 00:57:35,696
Not a scratch. What about the car?
934
00:57:36,424 --> 00:57:38,932
No damage at all. Really?
No. That's a pass.
935
00:57:43,272 --> 00:57:44,846
Are you ready?
936
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,424
ELECTRONIC CHINESE VOICE
937
00:57:54,385 --> 00:57:57,281
Having satisfied ourselves
that these cars
938
00:57:57,345 --> 00:57:59,089
had been through all their crash tests,
939
00:58:00,292 --> 00:58:04,964
we were confident that we could take
them onto the streets of Beijing.
940
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:09,260
This might not be as nice to drive,
941
00:58:09,300 --> 00:58:12,544
or as fast or as safe as a European car,
942
00:58:12,584 --> 00:58:16,920
but it offers everything the
Chinese motorist would want.
943
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:20,924
There's lots of space in the
back, a couple of nice gadgets,
944
00:58:21,036 --> 00:58:26,307
wooden trim and enough headroom
for anyone up to five foot three.
945
00:58:29,364 --> 00:58:33,008
The editor of a Chinese car
magazine told me this morning
946
00:58:33,048 --> 00:58:37,292
that the Chinese like good
equipment in cars, good gadgets.
947
00:58:37,393 --> 00:58:39,480
And this actually does quite well.
948
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:44,076
It has got sat-nav, incomprehensible
of course, reversing cameras,
949
00:58:44,116 --> 00:58:47,544
decent audio system,
automatic air-conditioning,
950
00:58:47,584 --> 00:58:50,728
audio controls on the steering wheel,
951
00:58:50,768 --> 00:58:54,831
digital dashboard... pretty good.
952
00:58:56,144 --> 00:59:01,104
I'd like to say that this
feels like an old Alfa Romeo,
953
00:59:01,144 --> 00:59:05,324
but it doesn't really, chiefly
because of the automatic gearbox,
954
00:59:05,364 --> 00:59:09,315
which was made by a man who
I think is a greengrocer.
955
00:59:09,354 --> 00:59:11,760
Certainly, he has no comprehension
956
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:15,132
of what an automatic gearbox should do.
957
00:59:15,172 --> 00:59:19,696
Stop changing gear! Don't do that!
958
00:59:20,870 --> 00:59:23,854
It's all very well Jeremy whining
and shouting at his gearbox,
959
00:59:23,908 --> 00:59:25,424
but he should try this.
960
00:59:25,456 --> 00:59:28,448
This is a three-speed
automatic with overdrive.
961
00:59:28,574 --> 00:59:32,104
It's quite smooth, actually,
but as a concept,
962
00:59:32,144 --> 00:59:35,320
it's just a tad old-fashioned.
963
00:59:37,065 --> 00:59:40,339
It is worth bearing in mind,
though, that both these cars
964
00:59:40,393 --> 00:59:43,635
cost £12,000, and that in China,
965
00:59:43,721 --> 00:59:47,622
a base model Audi A3 is
more than twice that.
966
00:59:48,164 --> 00:59:51,700
If you bear that price
difference in mind
967
00:59:51,906 --> 00:59:55,747
and ignore the gearbox,
it's really not too bad.
968
00:59:56,608 --> 00:59:58,356
Rides nicely.
969
00:59:58,396 --> 01:00:00,320
CLUNK!
970
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:03,480
Most of the time. Er...
971
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:07,256
At this point, we ran out of
things... to say about our cars,
972
01:00:07,296 --> 01:00:09,976
so we met up for a discussion.
973
01:00:10,663 --> 01:00:16,095
So, James May, would you buy
a Roewe 350 in Britain? No.
974
01:00:16,130 --> 01:00:18,294
No. No. Would you buy a Trumpchi?
975
01:00:18,645 --> 01:00:22,474
Only if it was very cheap.
But look at it this way.
976
01:00:22,913 --> 01:00:27,177
In just five years, China
has gone from making that,
977
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:31,256
whatever it is, to making these.
978
01:00:31,296 --> 01:00:33,395
With that rate of progress,
979
01:00:33,507 --> 01:00:36,215
where are they going to
be in five years' time?
980
01:00:36,271 --> 01:00:38,645
That does take us back to
our original question...
981
01:00:38,777 --> 01:00:41,544
in five years' time,
everybody will be driving
982
01:00:41,545 --> 01:00:44,310
Chinese cars... yes,
we probably will.
983
01:00:44,431 --> 01:00:46,872
We are doomed. We are doomed.
We've absolutely...
984
01:00:50,173 --> 01:00:53,083
In the plums.
985
01:01:21,997 --> 01:01:26,967
THEME TUNE PLAYED IN THE STYLE OF
TRADITIONAL CHINESE MUSIC
986
01:01:27,350 --> 01:01:30,248
Sync and corrections by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com