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00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:15,197
Tonight, I drive around a field,

2
00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:18,037
James measures a runway,

3
00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:21,450
and Richard lays a cable.

4
00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:28,649
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

5
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:31,409
Thank you. Hello, everybody!

6
00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:35,729
Hello and good evening. Thank
you so much. Thank you. Thank you.

7
00:00:35,730 --> 00:00:38,801
Now, as we know,

8
00:00:38,802 --> 00:00:42,449
James May lives in 1956.

9
00:00:42,450 --> 00:00:47,289
So he maintains that you can have
more fun in a small, simple car

10
00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:50,969
like an Austin A35
or a Wolseley Hornet, than you

11
00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:53,489
can in the big,
fire-spitting super-cars

12
00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:56,729
that Hammond and I thump round
the track every week.

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00:00:56,730 --> 00:00:59,929
Yes, so we said to him, "All right,
as a special treat this week,

14
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"why don't you do the power test?

15
00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:04,409
"Get yourself down to the track
because we have found a car

16
00:01:04,410 --> 00:01:08,209
"that could have been made
specifically with you in mind."

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00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:09,677
JEREMY CACKLES

18
00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:17,569
When I arrived at the track,
everything looked promising.

19
00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:19,209
That is...

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00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:21,170
a Vauxhall Corsa.

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Ah, there's a note.

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It's from Pinky and Perky.

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"Dear James, hope you enjoy
taking this to the max.

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"PS, it was developed
at your most favourite place

25
00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:36,610
"in the whole wide world."

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Oh, God.

27
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This wasn't what I had in mind.

28
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But since I was here
and the camera crew were paid for,

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I had no choice
but to get on with it.

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Well, it's certainly quick.
0 to 60 in 6.5 seconds.

31
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:08,009
And a top speed of
145 miles an hour.

32
00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:10,290
Hell, this is a Vauxhall Corsa!

33
00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:17,837
The engine is a beefed-up version
of the standard 1.6-litre turbo.

34
00:02:18,203 --> 00:02:21,369
And it's now been coupled
with a new sports exhaust,

35
00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:26,050
as a result of which,
it produces 202 horsepower.

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202 horsepower is a huge amount
put through the front wheels

37
00:02:31,290 --> 00:02:33,049
of a small car like this.

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And the results
ought to be pretty dramatic.

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And by dramatic, I mean, of course,
appalling in the bends.

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00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:45,609
So let's see if that's true
with the aid of our senior

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00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:47,969
cornering solutions consultant.

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TYRES SQUEAL

43
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Now, on paper,
this really ought not to work,

44
00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:03,209
all that power in the front wheels
should just make it

45
00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:07,049
plough straight on in the corners
and consume its own tyres.

46
00:03:07,050 --> 00:03:08,690
But actually, it doesn't.

47
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The reason for that is they've
given this car a bespoke suspension,

48
00:03:14,850 --> 00:03:18,729
especially set-up for this and
they've developed a clever diff,

49
00:03:18,730 --> 00:03:22,890
which manages the way the power
is fed to the wheels.

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It's good, isn't it?

51
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It's actually better than good.

52
00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,489
And I have to admit, that its time
on the Nurburgring has made this

53
00:03:37,490 --> 00:03:40,570
one of the best-handling
hot hatchbacks you can buy.

54
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So it was developed on a track.
And it's brilliant on a track.

55
00:03:48,290 --> 00:03:50,369
But on the road...

56
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Bloody hell.

57
00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:55,489
Well, I'm very pleased to be able
to report that my prejudices

58
00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:57,009
remain completely intact.

59
00:03:57,010 --> 00:04:00,609
When you add the word Nurburgring
to the name of a car,

60
00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:02,609
it's really just code for "ruined",

61
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,689
because the ride
is absolutely rock hard.

62
00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:08,289
Ooh! It's ridiculous.

63
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,409
Ooh!

64
00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:12,649
Car makers become obsessed
with making their cars

65
00:04:12,650 --> 00:04:15,329
go around this
irrelevant historic...

66
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:18,409
German racetrack
as fast as possible,

67
00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:21,049
without realising
that they're ruining the car

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00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:23,369
for those of us
who live in the real world.

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Ow! It's utterly hopeless.

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It's not just ruined,
it's expensively ruined,

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00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:37,249
because this car costs £22,000.

72
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:39,969
With a few options,
like leather seats and sat nav,

73
00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:42,410
it's over £24,000.

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00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:47,610
This isn't what I meant
when I said small cars can be fun.

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00:04:51,163 --> 00:04:55,729
What I meant was this -
the new Fiat Panda.

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It doesn't have a yobbo body kit
or a map of a track on the dash

77
00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:03,849
and although its engine
IS turbocharged,

78
00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:06,317
it's only a 0.8-litre two-cylinder

79
00:05:06,483 --> 00:05:10,209
that makes a modest
84 horsepower.

80
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:15,650
Yet, I believe this car
is more fun than the Corsa.

81
00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:22,729
TYRES SQUEAL

82
00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:26,009
It's not actually about
how much power you have,

83
00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,969
it's about how much power
you can use.

84
00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:33,970
And in this, you can use pretty
much all of it, all of the time.

85
00:05:36,090 --> 00:05:38,162
Ahh!

86
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HE LAUGHS

87
00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:45,289
'Look, I like sitting 5mm above the
road in a 500 horsepower supercar

88
00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:46,770
'as much as anybody else.'

89
00:05:46,771 --> 00:05:48,569
Whee!

90
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:51,649
'But skinny tyres
and a roly-poly body, that's fun.'

91
00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:55,129
The lack of grip means that,
more of the time,

92
00:05:55,130 --> 00:05:58,289
you are driving this car at the
edge, even at quite normal speeds

93
00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:02,290
and it's at the edge where things
become absolutely tremendous.

94
00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,089
Oh, bit of squirrelling.

95
00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:11,410
And as for that engine, well,
it may be tiny but it packs a punch.

96
00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:16,169
And it sounds just brilliant.

97
00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:20,249
I love that thrumming noise!
Rrrrrr!

98
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:23,089
It's such a happy sound.

99
00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:26,289
It's a bit like a dog running round
with a frisbee in its mouth going

100
00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:28,410
"Come on, come on,
throw the frisbee."

101
00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:33,049
And the cost of this bundle of fun?

102
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Around £11,000.

103
00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:38,250
Half the price of the Corsa.

104
00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:45,250
However, there is a potential
problem with a small-engined car.

105
00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:49,210
Here's the Stig,
taking the Panda from 0...

106
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... to 70 and back to nought again.

107
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He did that,
according to the wheel o'distance,

108
00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:07,169
in 305 metres.

109
00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:12,089
But the big question is, how does
a small-engined car like this cope

110
00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:14,490
when it's weighed down with people?

111
00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:19,569
Now, if it's just the Stig,
then it makes no odds,

112
00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:21,010
as you can see quite clearly.

113
00:07:21,011 --> 00:07:23,089
But if it's normal
members of the public,

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then I think we may have a problem.

115
00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:29,609
You see,
according to the newspapers,

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00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:32,849
more than a quarter of adults
are now obese.

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00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:35,129
And in just a few years' time,

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00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:39,969
over 50% of the population
will be absolutely enormous.

119
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So, what could
a typical family of the future

120
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:45,610
do to this car's performance?

121
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BEEP

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TYRES SQUEAL

123
00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:15,970
320...

124
00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:19,249
325...

125
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Right, so with just the Stig,
it was 305 metres.

126
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,603
With our family on board,

127
00:08:25,604 --> 00:08:30,289
it took an extra
177 metres,

128
00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:32,170
more than half as much again.

129
00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:37,169
So, if you buy this car,

130
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you might want to think about
going easy on the pasties.

131
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:45,050
But trust me, it's worth it.

132
00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:51,129
James Hunt was once famously asked,

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00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:54,569
what was the best car he'd ever
driven and the answer was not

134
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:57,369
a Ferrari or a Porsche
or any supercar,

135
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,809
it was his old Austin A35 van,

136
00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:05,569
which had virtually no power
and very, very skinny tyres.

137
00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:09,370
In other words, exactly the same
qualities you get with the Panda.

138
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:14,929
And if that's good enough
for James Hunt, I rest my case.

139
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,729
Thank you.

140
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,090
And goodbye.

141
00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:25,490
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

142
00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:29,770
I'm...

143
00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:34,769
I'm glad you brought
James Hunt into it, James...

144
00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,730
I'm always getting
you two muddled up.

145
00:09:36,731 --> 00:09:39,769
Well, we do have quite
a lot in common. I mean, same name.

146
00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:42,849
Same hair.
I wish you had the same pulse rate.

147
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:46,489
Because I have never heard
so much drivel.

148
00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:49,049
Let me make it absolutely plain.

149
00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:52,649
A car becomes interesting at
the limit of grip of its tyres, OK?

150
00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,889
And in things like a big Lambo or a
big Aston, those things you like,

151
00:09:55,890 --> 00:09:58,009
that happens
at really colossal speed.

152
00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:02,049
So you have to drive them on
the track to have fun in them. Yes.

153
00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:04,729
On a car like this, that stuff
happens at normal speeds,

154
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,490
so you don't need
to go to the track.

155
00:10:06,491 --> 00:10:09,529
You enjoy them on a normal road
at normal speeds.

156
00:10:09,530 --> 00:10:12,969
That's rubbish. A normal hatchback,
you drive it round a city centre,

157
00:10:12,970 --> 00:10:16,369
it's not skidding about
all over the place. But this is.

158
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:19,409
This is on those eco fuel-saving
tyres. I went straight off...

159
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:24,009
So you're saying, the Fiat Panda's
good because it crashes more easily?

160
00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:25,329
LAUGHTER

161
00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:26,529
Yes.

162
00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:30,369
And, it's now time to find out
how fast it goes around our track.

163
00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:33,809
No, no, no. The programme isn't
long enough to put a Panda round.

164
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,569
Oh, go on! It isn't, it isn't.

165
00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:38,609
We're going to see how fast
the Vauxhall goes and that means,

166
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:41,529
of course, handing it over
to our tame racing driver.

167
00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:47,169
Some say that he has 50,000
photographs of his own camera.

168
00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:49,129
LAUGHTER

169
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:53,517
And that 60 years ago this week,
he, too, became a queen.

170
00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:54,849
LAUGHTER

171
00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:57,450
All we know is
he's called the Stig!

172
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,889
And he's away.
Lots of wheel spin off the line.

173
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:03,409
It's a cold day out there.

174
00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:07,889
The air's dense and small
turbocharged engines like that.

175
00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:09,969
Look at it flying
into the first corner.

176
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,609
Sticky tyres howling in pain.

177
00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:15,489
"THE ARCHERS" THEME TUNE

178
00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:19,929
Oh, dear, the Stig continues
his obsession with The Archers,

179
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,209
tracking tidily around Chicago.

180
00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:25,569
Clever limited slip diff
doing its job.

181
00:11:25,570 --> 00:11:28,289
Hard on the brakes for Hammerhead.
Will it understeer?

182
00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:30,729
No. Getting a bit squirrelly,
though.

183
00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:32,969
Looks like the back end
wants to step out.

184
00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:35,529
Certainly more exciting
to watch than May's Panda.

185
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:36,744
'I'm not very hungry.

186
00:11:36,745 --> 00:11:40,609
I've been nibbling all morning
making stuff for the freezer for Thursday.'

187
00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:42,089
Midlands mimsy there.

188
00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:46,289
Right, unleashing all it's got.
Chucking snow on to the follow-through.

189
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:50,169
There's no doubt, cars developed at
the Nurburgring are useless on the road.

190
00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:53,369
James is right about that but this
isn't a road and it's doing well.

191
00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:56,609
A little blob of phlegm.
Coming up now to Gambon.

192
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:59,609
Round it like it terrier
and across the line!

193
00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:03,129
APPLAUSE

194
00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:07,089
And it did it in one minute...

195
00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:10,449
19.2.

196
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,809
No, it didn't.

197
00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:15,329
One minute 31 seconds
is where it did it.

198
00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:18,449
So, James, can we now stop doing
small, simple hatchbacks

199
00:12:18,450 --> 00:12:21,529
in the power tests? You can, yes.
Good, thank you.

200
00:12:21,530 --> 00:12:23,089
You are sacked.

201
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,889
LAUGHTER

202
00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:28,329
Well, that's good news. And speaking
of which, it is time to do the news.

203
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:31,169
I start off with something
very exciting. Because there is

204
00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:33,529
a new Morgan and after an absence
of ten years,

205
00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:35,849
they have revived
their legendary Plus 8 name.

206
00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:39,049
They've made a new one. I have
a picture. Here it is. Oh, yeah.

207
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,889
Oh, God. Morgan don't have
a styling department, do they?

208
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:44,809
They've just got a photocopier.

209
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:48,249
It's not like a normal photocopier.
Normally, you select the size.

210
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:52,129
On Morgans, you select the year.
Anything from 1931 to 1935.

211
00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:55,889
Shut up. It's an all-new car.
It's got the classic body shape, yes.

212
00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:59,249
But it's got
a 4.8-litre BMW V8 in there.

213
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:01,849
It'll be good for 60,
probably under four seconds.

214
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:05,769
It's going to be the fastest-accelerating
Morgan they've made ever.

215
00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:08,329
Wow(!) It's exciting!

216
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,929
Do you have to buy the petrol with
those ration coupons? No, shut up.

217
00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:13,330
It's actually very modern.

218
00:13:13,331 --> 00:13:16,649
It's got a bonded aluminium chassis
and the aluminium body

219
00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:19,889
is super formed, it's very hi tech.
What? How many guineas is it?

220
00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:21,569
LAUGHTER

221
00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:23,889
Its 85,000 POUNDS.

222
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:28,369
It's very modern and hi tech and I want one
of those very much indeed. It's fantastic.

223
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:31,769
You can't have one, there's a war on.
LAUGHTER

224
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,417
They'll have to melt it down
to make Spitfires.

225
00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:36,169
Shut up, it's exciting
and I want one.

226
00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:40,209
I've got news about Toyota and Subaru
because they've collaborated on a new car.

227
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,689
It's called a GT 86.

228
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,529
This is going to be £25,000,

229
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:46,649
which makes it more expensive
than a VW Scirocco.

230
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:49,677
And it's not the best-looking car
in the world, is it?

231
00:13:49,843 --> 00:13:51,049
No, it isn't.

232
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:53,569
But the interesting thing about it,

233
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:56,769
the thing that means everyone
is anticipating this very eagerly,

234
00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:00,929
is it has a limited slip
differential and rear-wheel drive.

235
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:03,209
It's hard to explain
really to non-car people

236
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,769
why real-wheel drive is important.
So, let me put it this way.

237
00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:09,849
Front-wheel drive is cornflour.

238
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:12,529
And rear-wheel drive it is a roux.

239
00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:15,129
That's quite good, isn't it?
Yes, that's good.

240
00:14:15,130 --> 00:14:16,729
What are you going on about?!

241
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:21,809
Cornflour,
you use it to thicken a sauce, say.

242
00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,770
Why would you want to thicken
a sauce?

243
00:14:23,771 --> 00:14:25,409
Ketchup comes out of a bottle

244
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:28,289
and I don't want it thicker,
that's just what it is.

245
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,650
I have to let you into
a little secret we learned.

246
00:14:30,651 --> 00:14:33,169
Richard Hammond has his Sunday lunch
every Sunday.

247
00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:36,049
Anyone here familiar with
the Countrywide chain of stores?

248
00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:40,569
Yeah? They are big cash-and-carry
warehouses for rural people.

249
00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:44,769
And you go there and buy stones and
gravel and things for your horses

250
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:46,849
and he has his lunch there.

251
00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:51,129
They do a nice Sunday roast, 5.99.
How much?

252
00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:54,049
5.99 and you get all
the vegetables you want.

253
00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:56,129
I bet you any money
that they have wilted

254
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:57,890
cos they've been
boiled for so long.

255
00:14:57,891 --> 00:14:59,103
They're properly cooked,
yeah.

256
00:14:59,104 --> 00:15:01,729
That's not properly cooked!
That's ruined!

257
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:05,409
"Oh, Richard Hammond will be here on
Sunday, we better put the sprouts on now."

258
00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:08,369
It's like going for your lunch
in B&Q.

259
00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:12,369
A big treat, children, this week, we
are going to have lunch in Halfords!

260
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:15,729
That's very funny
but can I get back to the car?

261
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:18,729
The thing about it is,
it isn't a great-looking car

262
00:15:18,730 --> 00:15:23,049
and it is a bit pricey, but,
it also has a boxer engine in it.

263
00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:24,970
Yes, two-litre.
That's good, isn't it?

264
00:15:24,971 --> 00:15:27,929
Would you like to explain, Jeremy,

265
00:15:27,930 --> 00:15:30,769
why having a boxer configuration
engine is a good thing?

266
00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:32,449
Yes, I will.

267
00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:33,689
Really?

268
00:15:33,690 --> 00:15:38,169
A boxer engine is like going to Jamie
Oliver's restaurant for your lunch.

269
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:41,689
And a normal engine
is like going to Countrywide

270
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,089
with over-boiled vegetables.

271
00:15:44,090 --> 00:15:47,049
It's a nice lunch. They give you
a wooden spoon with a number on

272
00:15:47,050 --> 00:15:51,089
and when they call the number, you get your
meat and then all the vegetables you want.

273
00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:54,969
WEST COUNTRY ACCENT:
"Mr Hammond, your table for four."

274
00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:56,329
LAUGHTER

275
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:59,569
Good news, chaps. No, what?
There's a new Dacia.

276
00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:01,049
CHEERING
Thank you.

277
00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:05,889
And I've got a picture of it.
That's a looker, isn't it?!

278
00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:07,250
Anyway, moving on.

279
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,529
Whiplash is a charter
for fraudsters.

280
00:16:11,530 --> 00:16:13,529
We all know this.
You have a car accident

281
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,370
and you go, "Oh, I've got whiplash,"

282
00:16:15,371 --> 00:16:18,089
and you rape the other motorist's
insurance policy

283
00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:20,529
and you get benefits
for the rest of your life.

284
00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:23,289
The Government
has said this has to stop.

285
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:26,169
So they have announced,
the Government, all right,

286
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:30,809
that if the impact speed
is less than 6.25 miles an hour,

287
00:16:30,810 --> 00:16:33,169
you can't have whiplash.

288
00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:35,609
6.25? 6.25.

289
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:39,449
But they're also saying that if it is 6.5,
you could get whiplash at that speed.

290
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:41,929
You can do that speed
sitting down quickly.

291
00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:44,517
Look, I'm doing 6.25,
I've got whiplash.

292
00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:48,797
It should be 63.
That would be a reasonable speed.

293
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,919
The question should be, he is your
car absolutely and entirely wrecked?

294
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:57,239
Is it crumpled like a discarded crisp bag,
in which case, you might have a point.

295
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,159
Has the boot lid badge been
a stencilled on to your own spine?

296
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,439
Well, then you've got whiplash.

297
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,799
No, it's can you actually
look up your own arse now?

298
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,399
LAUGHTER

299
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,439
Then you've possibly
got some whiplash. Could be.

300
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,199
I do genuinely believe that people
who've got whiplash when they haven't,

301
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:20,599
I don't believe in capital
punishment, but they should be shot.

302
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,719
Where would you shoot them?
In the head.

303
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,199
I meant more sort of geographically.
Yeah.

304
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,279
Oh, God.

305
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,598
On their own or in front of anyone,
Do you want to say that? Sort it out.

306
00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:32,720
Goes well when you do.
Maybe on a different show.

307
00:17:32,721 --> 00:17:35,719
Let's just get it so we can
straighten out your belief.

308
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:39,759
Who do you think should be shot,
where and in front of whom?

309
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,199
Oh, now, moving it on...

310
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,839
LAUGHTER

311
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:48,319
I've got some actual news.
Don't be daft. In our news section?

312
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,599
In the news section.
It's not just rubbish.

313
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,839
Careful,
we're in uncharted waters here. OK.

314
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,599
I have it on good authority that
Land Rover is currently working

315
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:02,599
on a 300-horsepower convertible
version of the new Evoke.

316
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,119
The Evoke? Have you got a picture?

317
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:08,439
I've got a picture here of the
hard-top one. It's so secret, this.

318
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,199
Only I... Well, everybody now
knows about it. So I thought...

319
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,907
Stand back, he's got scissors!

320
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,399
Oh ho! Look at him concentrate,
look at him now!

321
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,639
LAUGHTER

322
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,239
It's the Top Gear orang-utan,
look at his happy little face.

323
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,559
Completely absorbed in his own world.

324
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,599
And if you watch very carefully,

325
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,067
you can see Jeremy's mouth
moving in time.

326
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,359
It's quite tricky
going down the wing mirror.

327
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,239
A tricky bit now, isn't it? Ready?

328
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,427
And across the line!

329
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,759
Actually, it looks quite good,
doesn't it! Am I right in saying,

330
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,959
that would be the first ever
convertible off-road car?

331
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,919
Yeah, well, apart from
the original Willys Jeep,

332
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,679
the first Toyota Land Cruiser and the
original Land Rover. Apart from that...

333
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,519
Apart from the very origins, Genesis,
the whole foundation, if you will,

334
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,440
of the entire concept
of the off-roader

335
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:04,839
is founded upon a convertible.

336
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,119
Did I say that out loud?
You did and we all heard it.

337
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,472
That's a bit like saying they should
make a song called Blue Suede Shoes.

338
00:19:11,473 --> 00:19:13,279
Yes, they should do.

339
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,279
There's a new car
I want to tell you about.

340
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,305
I'll flash it up on the screen
for one second

341
00:19:17,306 --> 00:19:19,399
and I want you to tell me
what it is.

342
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,320
Are you ready?
Here we go. And, on.

343
00:19:21,321 --> 00:19:23,719
And off. What was that?

344
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:27,119
Aston Martin. You see, it wasn't.

345
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:31,319
That, in fact, let's get it up
again, that is the new Mondeo.

346
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,319
Is it?
Was it done by a Chinese person?

347
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,799
LAUGHTER

348
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,639
Let me explain
because this is quite complicated.

349
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:43,079
That's been launched in America
already as the Ford Fusion.

350
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,599
It's not coming to Britain
until next year.

351
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,159
So Ford in Britain, they're not
admitting that is the new Mondeo

352
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,719
because they think people won't
continue to buy the current one
for a year,

353
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,559
but it is the new Mondeo
and it's coming next year, so there.

354
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,519
Now, if you're under 40,
you may not remember

355
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,679
a television show
called The Sweeney.

356
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:05,079
So, to fill you in, every week,
it was a cop show in essence.

357
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,879
Every week, the hero would have
some casual sex with a lady.

358
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,919
Then he'd punch a baddie in the
middle of his face and then drive

359
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:16,279
a Ford Granada very briskly across
some waste ground in Saaf London.

360
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,599
Now, the reason we bring this up
is we heard

361
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:22,439
the other day that they were making
a film of this TV series

362
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,279
starring Ray Winstone and Plan B.

363
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,119
And this gave us an idea.

364
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:30,919
For ages, we have wanted to make
a proper movie car chase.

365
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,039
We reckon we'd be pretty good at it.

366
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,799
So we got in touch with
the film's producers and we said,

367
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,559
"There's bound to be a car chase
in it so can Hammond and I

368
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,079
"make it for you?"

369
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,747
And they said yes!

370
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:51,719
This being The Sweeney, the location
was in the Saaf of England.

371
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:56,599
And while the main crew were
hard at work shooting shoot-outs...

372
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,639
And people jumping off boats,

373
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,599
Hammond and I were trying to decide
what sort of car chase

374
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,760
we wanted to make.

375
00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:06,519
And then there was the Bond film
in Vietnam and it was just

376
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:10,319
stupid stunt, after stupid stunt,
all shot from a helicopter.

377
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,919
So you never had a sense of speed.

378
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:16,199
So you want to be close, so if a car
does like a jump and a roll,

379
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,399
you want to be up close
and maybe see the driver's face,

380
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,239
as if you were in the car?

381
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:26,279
No, there is no jump and roll. There
would be stunts, it is a car chase.

382
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,559
No, no.

383
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,519
Here is an idea. So, say,
helicopter here. Car comes out.

384
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,839
Barrel roll happens. Bam! Boom!

385
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,759
You want be back wide
so you can see the helicopter.

386
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:40,199
We are not having any cars
crashing into helicopters. But...

387
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:44,839
No, we're not. Why? Because that's
just stupid. This is the Sweeney.

388
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:49,639
It's a real police chase. Honestly,
just think. Ronin, Bullitt.

389
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,879
The Italian Job, the original one.

390
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,559
Good, gritty car chases
because they're real.

391
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:58,479
How many jumps where the car went
"Whee!" Were there in Ronin?

392
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,279
But we need to drag The Sweeney
into this century

393
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,319
so we need cars
going into helicopters.

394
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,759
What are those drawings?
What are those drawings?

395
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:11,199
Car going into helicopter.
We haven't got... What's that?!

396
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,039
That is very clever.

397
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,599
Right. Train going along.
There isn't a carriage.

398
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:19,999
It's one of those flat ones.
And he times his jump... No, no, no.

399
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,559
No. There's a chance...

400
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,319
'Since we weren't
getting anywhere...' No!

401
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,517
'...I went off to meet our actors.'

402
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:32,079
I want to shoot 'em.
No, you've shot four already.

403
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,319
Shoot them together. Hello.

404
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:39,799
Actors, hi. My name's Richard.
I'm, I'm, the director, I suppose.

405
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,519
And, um, so, you're Plan B?
I'm Plan B, nice to meet you.

406
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,039
Can I call you Plan?
Yeah, if you want.

407
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,679
And, over here, of course, morning.
Delighted to meet you.

408
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,479
Hello, mate.

409
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,959
It's an honour to work with you,
really.

410
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,479
When are you working with us?

411
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,319
Later on today we are going to be
doing some stunt work.

412
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,959
You'll be able to handle it,
the variety of stuff you've done.

413
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,039
We're a bit busy in here
at the minute.

414
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,730
Can you go and rabbit
somewhere else?

415
00:23:05,731 --> 00:23:08,239
I know you are busy,
that's great. It'll be mega!

416
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,919
And you're going to handle all of it
so well.

417
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,559
What am I going to handle well?
What are you talking about?

418
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:20,239
The Long Good Friday. Grit, anger in
there. The Long Good Friday. Anger.

419
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,959
And the same career, Who Framed
Roger Rabbit? No, that's not him.

420
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,437
No, I'm not Bob Hoskins, mate.

421
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,519
Whilst Hammond was making
friends with the stars,

422
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:36,560
I was making the cars that
the film's producers had chosen.

423
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,717
The baddies would be using
a Jaguar XFR.

424
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,317
And the goodies, a Ford Focus ST.

425
00:23:47,603 --> 00:23:50,359
And straight away,
there's a problem.

426
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:53,679
Because anyone who knows anything
about cars will watch this film

427
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,479
and say, "There's no way
that a Ford Focus

428
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:01,239
"can keep up with a supercharged
500-horsepower V8 Jag."

429
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,839
The speed difference,

430
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:07,519
as I shall now demonstrate
on our closed piece of road, is...

431
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:08,640
immense.

432
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,397
ENGINE ROARS

433
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,157
To make matters worse,
this isn't an ST.

434
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:34,879
It's a 1.6-litre eco boost
with ST badges,

435
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,717
ST wheels and look,
fake dials on the dashboard.

436
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:50,199
I decided to put these concerns
to the film's director, Nick Love.

437
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,279
The problem you've got is a Ford
Focus cannot keep up with a Jag.

438
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,366
It's about the skill of the driver,
not the car.

439
00:24:56,367 --> 00:24:58,079
It's a story being told.

440
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,879
No. If Regan is a good driver, he
can keep up with anybody. You can't.

441
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,679
You can in my film. You can't,
because we are directing this.

442
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,919
You're going to have to get
faster cars than the Focus.

443
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,039
We have a very restricted amount
of money and we can't...

444
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,439
What are we going to do,
buy Ferraris? What's the budget?

445
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,239
Of the film? Yes.
Three million quid. Whoa!

446
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:23,039
What, for just this film?
Three million. That's nothing.

447
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:27,719
Let's put them in Veyrons, Bugatti.
You could get two for that.

448
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,639
Could you also explain to him,
we're trying to keep it real.

449
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,806
He wants to do this thing where
it jumps over a train.

450
00:25:33,807 --> 00:25:36,799
The idea is, get this...
That's bollocks.

451
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,359
A train comes along
and when it comes through,

452
00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:41,999
your man's there in his car
and he times it...

453
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,519
jumps through the gap.
That's real. Brilliant.

454
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,079
We're going to need something
faster than the Focus.

455
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,552
No, we're just going to think big
in terms of action.

456
00:25:50,553 --> 00:25:52,639
This is a motorway bridge.

457
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,679
You know, where they haven't
finished building, but look,

458
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:59,679
it's beginning to twist and that's
a helicopter. I'm getting a migraine.

459
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,839
You are talking BLEEP,
the pair of you.

460
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,199
You want to do a commercial and you
want a film that no-one will believe.

461
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,757
If you're going to do it, do it
properly, that's all I'm saying.

462
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,119
Having got the distinct impression
that I couldn't change the cars,

463
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,239
I had to get creative.

464
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:20,959
Sorry about this, mate.
We have the baddie.

465
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,517
So, the front-wheel drive Ford

466
00:26:23,518 --> 00:26:26,959
would be driven by former rally
champion Mark Higgins,

467
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,959
and the rear-drive Jag by
drifting world champion Mauro Calo.

468
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,397
OK. Three, two, one,
to catch up, go.

469
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,319
And to get round
the speed difference,

470
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,077
I'd created a scene in which
the Jag is held up by traffic.

471
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,079
HORN BLARES

472
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,597
And three, two, one, hit.

473
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:54,917
Try again, try again, try again.

474
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,679
Whoa!

475
00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:59,800
Yes!

476
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,280
Man alive,
are we getting some shots here!

477
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,959
Whilst Jeremy was lost
in the land of reality,

478
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,639
I was at the location
for the climax of the chase,

479
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:19,239
a deserted caravan park, where
I was setting up a dramatic jump.

480
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,359
You're all right, you're all right.

481
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,639
Oh, yeah. And hold it there,
that's perfect.

482
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,599
I come racing up that field.
Between those two posts

483
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,679
there'll be a barrier and I smash
through it. That's some drama.

484
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,279
Up the ramp, I get air.

485
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,479
There, past the caravans
and land on the grass.

486
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,519
With the ramp
hidden from the cameras,

487
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,919
I nicked one of the back-up Focuses
and was ready to go.

488
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,679
I'd love it if they use
the actual shot with me doing it.

489
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,199
That would be brilliant.
I'd be in the film.

490
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,720
First off,
drive through the gate post.

491
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,680
And now, get me some air!

492
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,919
Yeah! That felt good, that felt
like we had air and everything.

493
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,240
However, when I watched it
back on the monitor...

494
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,560
Play it again.

495
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:11,840
This is rubbish.

496
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,839
Meanwhile, I was now filming
the cars from the front,

497
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:23,119
which meant my drivers had to be made
to look exactly like the main actors.

498
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:25,919
What's going to happen
is your alongside him.

499
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,359
You're going exactly the same speed.
When he's ready to make this turn,

500
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:32,879
you're not ready to make this turn,
you think he's going on down there.

501
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,599
He's going to lock up,
which causes your handbrake turn

502
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,120
but we'll get that in a minute.

503
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,839
I then disconnected the Jag's
anti-lock brakes so it would lock up

504
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:46,199
in a cloud of tyre smoke
and then we went for a take.

505
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,560
OK, we're ready.

506
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,159
Mark, less moving around,
less moving.

507
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,720
Yes, that's good.

508
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:58,920
Oh!

509
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,480
TYRES SQUEAL

510
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,559
Ooh!

511
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,959
I may have to go to the lavatory
for a little while.

512
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

513
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,759
What? Hold on a minute.

514
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,919
How the hell could you not know
who Ray Winstone is?

515
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,567
Think that it - middle-aged,
Cockney actor,

516
00:29:23,568 --> 00:29:25,599
it's just Bob Hoskins, isn't it?
It just is.

517
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,919
And that bit with the car
when you drove them together,

518
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,079
that was just wanton destruction?
No, it wasn't.

519
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,799
We had three Jags.
And five Ford Focuses.

520
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,639
And remember, we had £3 million
to play with.

521
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,280
No, we didn't have
three million quid

522
00:29:40,281 --> 00:29:43,279
but we were allowed to do
light damage. We really were.

523
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,080
Anyway,
we'll pick that up later on.

524
00:29:45,081 --> 00:29:49,479
Now, it is time to put
a star in our reasonably priced car.

525
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,359
Over the years, we've had
many guests on this programme.

526
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,559
All different sorts. Men, women,

527
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,999
Americans, Germans.

528
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,279
A lesbian.

529
00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,479
LAUGHTER

530
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,879
We've never had a Canadian, though.

531
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,639
That, however,
is ABOOT to change.

532
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,039
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Ryan Reynolds!

533
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

534
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,759
How are you?
I'm very well, how are you?

535
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,200
I'm very well, thank you.

536
00:30:16,201 --> 00:30:18,400
Hi, everybody. Hello, hello.

537
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,919
Hello! Have a seat.

538
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,799
I'd love to. Have a seat.

539
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,359
It's like looking in a mirror!
It really is!

540
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,079
It really is! Not for you!

541
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,759
So, 2010, you were voted
the sexiest man alive.

542
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,439
AUDIENCE: Woo!

543
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:37,919
That was 2010, though!

544
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,519
I'm on the lecture circuit now!

545
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,959
I was just thinking,
your schooldays,

546
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,559
were they just a blizzard of
snogging and smooth moves?

547
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:52,079
No, it wasn't that. I was a bit of
a little pariah at school.

548
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,599
I have three older brothers,

549
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,319
all of whom were kicked out of
this very same school,

550
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,879
so from the moment I got there,
I was a marked man.

551
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,360
What were they kicked out for?

552
00:31:00,361 --> 00:31:02,959
Just random things.
Just mostly drugs and violence.

553
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,879
OK!

554
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,599
And I was kicked out for something
I think you'd appreciate.

555
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,959
I was kicked out for stealing a car.

556
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:15,359
Stealing a car? But wait,
I didn't actually steal a vehicle.

557
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:19,919
What we did was, a teacher that
we had was just 100% awful,

558
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,319
he had this little car,
one of those little Volkswagens,

559
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,559
and so my friends and I just played
an April Fools' prank on him.

560
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,879
We picked it up, we lifted it up
and carried it down the block,

561
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,120
about eight of us.

562
00:31:31,121 --> 00:31:32,974
We talked about this last week.

563
00:31:32,975 --> 00:31:35,159
The best fun you can have
with a little car is pick it up

564
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,479
and turn it round so it's facing
the other way... Fun practical joke.

565
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,720
That's a better idea,

566
00:31:39,721 --> 00:31:44,239
because in Canada, if you move it
more than ten feet, it's a felony.

567
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,799
I didn't know that.

568
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:47,638
So you moved a car
more than ten feet

569
00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:49,520
and then that was grand theft auto?

570
00:31:49,521 --> 00:31:52,079
Yeah, one city block
was, yeah, 100% grand theft.

571
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:56,039
Now, obviously,
sexiest man alive, 2010,

572
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,399
but reading through your notes,
also clumsiest man alive.

573
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,879
Mmm. Oh, definitely, yeah.

574
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,639
There's a thing...
Zurich, Switzerland...

575
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,959
it is impossible to
hurt yourself in Zurich.

576
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,679
You go there, you eat cheese
and then you come home.

577
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:13,519
So, how did you manage to hurt
yourself? I jumped off a bridge.

578
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,959
But there was water below.

579
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,239
And I dove in and
I broke a vertebrae by diving in.

580
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,839
AUDIENC GROANS

581
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,119
You've also been run over?
I have been run over, yeah.

582
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,959
I was 19 years old, I was
in Vancouver and I was at a bar,

583
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,439
I had a few drinks, I'd left my car
and I decided to walk home.

584
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:31,999
Being responsible. Exactly.

585
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,599
And I was crossing the street,
it was about two in the morning

586
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,640
and I was hit by a drunk driver.

587
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,719
LAUGHTER

588
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,479
I always wondered if he tells people
that he got hit by a drunk pedestrian.

589
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:45,679
LAUGHTER

590
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,040
I would. So did that hurt?

591
00:32:47,041 --> 00:32:49,319
Yeah, that was bad.
I broke a lot of bones.

592
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,759
That was all the left side
of my body I broke.

593
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,359
But I was 19, so at that point,
you're just made of rubber and magic.

594
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,159
LAUGHTER

595
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:58,437
You healed?
Yeah.

596
00:32:58,603 --> 00:33:01,509
Bearing in mind you can't jump off
a bridge without breaking your back,

597
00:33:01,510 --> 00:33:05,269
was skydiving
the perfect hobby to take up?

598
00:33:05,270 --> 00:33:07,429
God, you're like my mother!

599
00:33:07,430 --> 00:33:09,989
LAUGHTER
Old enough! Just killing me!

600
00:33:09,990 --> 00:33:12,989
My friends were trying to
get their license,

601
00:33:12,990 --> 00:33:16,149
so I decided I would
get my license, skydiving,

602
00:33:16,150 --> 00:33:21,909
and I did 12 jumps,
which were all highly successful!

603
00:33:21,910 --> 00:33:24,109
And then it was 13!

604
00:33:24,110 --> 00:33:27,909
And the 13th one, I had a problem,
where the chute didn't open,

605
00:33:27,910 --> 00:33:29,829
and I had to pull the reserve.

606
00:33:29,830 --> 00:33:33,149
But the weird thing is, when
you're in a situation like that,

607
00:33:33,150 --> 00:33:35,589
you're flying down
at 120 miles per hour,

608
00:33:35,590 --> 00:33:37,389
and when your chute doesn't open,

609
00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:40,069
you seriously have to think about
pulling the other one.

610
00:33:40,070 --> 00:33:43,149
That's the weird thing.
Time slows down and you're thinking,

611
00:33:43,150 --> 00:33:45,789
"If I pull the other one,
then I'll have none left."

612
00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:47,230
LAUGHTER

613
00:33:49,190 --> 00:33:52,149
"So, I'm just going to wait to see
if something happens."

614
00:33:52,150 --> 00:33:55,709
And sure enough, at the last minute,
I pulled the reserve chute,

615
00:33:55,710 --> 00:33:58,429
which you can't steer,
and I ended up landing in a field

616
00:33:58,430 --> 00:34:01,749
which contained only a dead horse.
I don't know what omen that is.

617
00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:05,229
Usually, it's a black crow
that tells you you're going to die,

618
00:34:05,230 --> 00:34:07,869
but I just landed
next to a dead horse.

619
00:34:07,870 --> 00:34:10,469
You have a new film out, Safe House.
I do, yeah.

620
00:34:10,470 --> 00:34:14,389
So when's the movie out? The film
is out February 24th here in the UK.

621
00:34:14,390 --> 00:34:17,309
We have a clip of that, which
we're going to show for you now.

622
00:34:17,310 --> 00:34:18,910
Let's have a look.

623
00:34:21,870 --> 00:34:24,190
TYRES SQUEAL

624
00:34:48,910 --> 00:34:50,349
APPLAUSE

625
00:34:50,350 --> 00:34:52,509
That's a good crash!

626
00:34:52,510 --> 00:34:54,550
It was a good crash!

627
00:34:57,830 --> 00:35:01,189
That's Denzel Washington.
Yes, backseat driving right there!

628
00:35:01,190 --> 00:35:03,189
Elbowing you in the face! Yeah.

629
00:35:03,190 --> 00:35:06,469
So what is it about?
Give us the plot, give us the story.

630
00:35:06,470 --> 00:35:11,149
I play a guy who's what's called
a safe house operator, a housekeeper.

631
00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:15,069
There are CIA-owned apartments
and flats all around the world,

632
00:35:15,070 --> 00:35:17,549
and they're run by
usually a low-level CIA guy.

633
00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:21,429
And then, one day, in walks
Denzel Washington's character,

634
00:35:21,430 --> 00:35:23,870
who's probably one of
the world's worst murdering,

635
00:35:23,871 --> 00:35:26,469
sociopathic Hannibal Lecter types.

636
00:35:26,470 --> 00:35:28,709
And I'm left to deal with this guy,

637
00:35:28,710 --> 00:35:31,949
who I'm deeply ill-equipped
to deal with.

638
00:35:31,950 --> 00:35:36,469
So it's not like
The Devil Wears Prada, then? No!

639
00:35:36,470 --> 00:35:37,989
It's not The Proposal II.

640
00:35:37,990 --> 00:35:40,669
It's not a romcom. No, that's good.

641
00:35:40,670 --> 00:35:44,909
Can I just say that God
is normally quite fair... Yeah.

642
00:35:44,910 --> 00:35:48,029
... with his dishing-out of talents.
For instance, David Beckham,

643
00:35:48,030 --> 00:35:50,309
he's said, "He's going to be
very good-looking,

644
00:35:50,310 --> 00:35:51,949
"talented footballer,

645
00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:55,949
"and to balance that up,
I'll give him a squeaky voice."

646
00:35:55,950 --> 00:35:58,590
You're funny and good-looking
and not fat...

647
00:36:00,630 --> 00:36:02,989
... where's your squeaky voice?

648
00:36:02,990 --> 00:36:05,149
What's my...? Have you got BO?

649
00:36:05,150 --> 00:36:09,189
Have I got 41 nipples?
Have you got very tiny testes?

650
00:36:09,190 --> 00:36:12,109
It's like Braille
down there, Jeremy.

651
00:36:12,110 --> 00:36:14,110
LAUGHTER

652
00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:18,469
A very short novel.
That's what it is - Braille.

653
00:36:18,470 --> 00:36:19,710
Yeah, the whole system.

654
00:36:21,310 --> 00:36:24,269
Everybody has...
I have a lot of things wrong.

655
00:36:24,270 --> 00:36:26,349
I'm blind, I'm deaf,

656
00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:29,029
I've got no sense of smell
cos I have a cold,

657
00:36:29,030 --> 00:36:30,829
which I haven't mentioned.

658
00:36:30,830 --> 00:36:34,069
Thank you
for the tongue kiss earlier.

659
00:36:34,070 --> 00:36:36,189
LAUGHTER

660
00:36:36,190 --> 00:36:38,590
Just went deep with it, too!

661
00:36:39,790 --> 00:36:42,789
No, we all have crazy faults.

662
00:36:42,790 --> 00:36:45,589
My fault isn't
something horrendous, like,

663
00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:47,749
"I can't stop murdering children."

664
00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:51,269
LAUGHTER
I just can't stop.

665
00:36:51,270 --> 00:36:53,469
I like to think
I'm a horrible driver...

666
00:36:53,470 --> 00:36:55,509
Horrible or bad?

667
00:36:55,510 --> 00:36:59,349
I ride motorcycles everywhere, so
you can race up through traffic,

668
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:01,942
it's bumper to bumper,

669
00:37:01,943 --> 00:37:03,989
and when your oncoming traffic is stopped,
you just go right up the middle.

670
00:37:03,990 --> 00:37:06,709
But I have this tendency
when I am in a vehicle to think

671
00:37:06,710 --> 00:37:09,509
I can slip that entire vehicle
right up the middle.

672
00:37:09,510 --> 00:37:13,269
And it's only at the last second when
I'm hitting the brakes, coming to a halt.

673
00:37:13,270 --> 00:37:16,709
You remember you're in a car. You
like bikes? I like bikes a lot, yeah.

674
00:37:16,710 --> 00:37:18,429
What sort of bikes?

675
00:37:18,430 --> 00:37:23,189
I have an old Paul Smart Ducati,
which is a nice little bike.

676
00:37:23,190 --> 00:37:24,350
I know what a Ducati is!

677
00:37:24,351 --> 00:37:27,509
Yeah, Ducati. I have a Deus.
Is it "Deuce" or "Day-us"?

678
00:37:27,510 --> 00:37:29,149
"Day-us", yeah. It's D-E-U-S?

679
00:37:29,150 --> 00:37:30,550
That's how we pronounce it,

680
00:37:30,551 --> 00:37:34,549
but you guys say "Niss-un",
so I have no idea what's happening.

681
00:37:34,550 --> 00:37:37,149
Every car's pronounced differently
in America.

682
00:37:37,150 --> 00:37:40,549
The Hyundai's a "Hundee".
"Nee-sun, Vee-dub-ya, Jag-war.

683
00:37:40,550 --> 00:37:42,109
"Bee-em-dub-ya."

684
00:37:42,110 --> 00:37:43,989
Here, what is it, "Jag-yur"?

685
00:37:43,990 --> 00:37:46,749
"Jag-yoo-ar." How it's spelt. Yeah.

686
00:37:46,750 --> 00:37:49,357
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

687
00:37:50,750 --> 00:37:53,237
No, I'm sorry, that was mean of me!

688
00:37:55,550 --> 00:37:58,029
Now, you came down here to obviously

689
00:37:58,030 --> 00:38:01,029
try your hand
in the Kia Cee-apostrophe-d.

690
00:38:01,030 --> 00:38:02,389
What was your goal?

691
00:38:02,390 --> 00:38:05,629
My goal was just to see if I could
drive a manual car.

692
00:38:05,630 --> 00:38:08,829
I haven't done that since high
school, so that was interesting.

693
00:38:08,830 --> 00:38:10,629
Really? Yeah.

694
00:38:10,630 --> 00:38:13,709
Who'd like to see Ryan's lap?
Oh, boy. AUDIENCE: Yeah!

695
00:38:13,710 --> 00:38:15,037
Play the tape!

696
00:38:17,790 --> 00:38:20,029
'Aggressive start. Crisp day.'

697
00:38:20,030 --> 00:38:23,389
That smells exactly like clutch.

698
00:38:23,390 --> 00:38:24,630
'Smells like clutch?

699
00:38:24,631 --> 00:38:27,389
'Clutch does smell like clutch.'
'Does smell bad, yeah.'

700
00:38:27,390 --> 00:38:29,790
'Annoying thing.
The wide Formula 1 line in there.'

701
00:38:29,791 --> 00:38:33,109
'I'm a big guy, I make that whole
car look like a children's toy.'

702
00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:37,389
'You should see me in it.' 'Looks
like a sweater, made of metal.'

703
00:38:37,390 --> 00:38:39,549
LAUGHTER

704
00:38:39,550 --> 00:38:41,870
'Every time I shift,
I make a dumb face.'

705
00:38:42,870 --> 00:38:45,269
'That's wide,
that's really wide.' 'Terrible.'

706
00:38:45,270 --> 00:38:47,869
'No, it could give you a fast...
Where are you going?'

707
00:38:47,870 --> 00:38:49,549
BLEEP! BLEEP manual! BLEEP!

708
00:38:49,550 --> 00:38:51,590
'Yeah! There! Right?'

709
00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:56,149
'The beep machine has
obviously blown up...

710
00:38:56,150 --> 00:39:00,389
'Now, keeping it tidy through
the lines there. Yes, pretty good.

711
00:39:00,390 --> 00:39:02,029
'Very good, actually.'

712
00:39:02,030 --> 00:39:03,429
Very good.

713
00:39:03,430 --> 00:39:06,709
'Are we going to be able
to find fourth?'

714
00:39:06,710 --> 00:39:10,509
Turn from hell coming up.

715
00:39:10,510 --> 00:39:12,669
'Oh, yeah, this turn,
not fun every time.'

716
00:39:12,670 --> 00:39:15,349
'That's almost beautiful.' 'Yeah.

717
00:39:15,350 --> 00:39:17,270
'That's what I call
the adult diaper.'

718
00:39:17,271 --> 00:39:18,989
'Whoa, that's cutting that one!

719
00:39:18,990 --> 00:39:21,909
'That's quite uncomfortable
at that speed.' 'Yeah.'

720
00:39:21,910 --> 00:39:26,629
'Look at it gripping. That's nicely
done. Not too cheaty on the cutting.

721
00:39:26,630 --> 00:39:28,869
'And around Gambon.'

722
00:39:28,870 --> 00:39:32,349
There we are, ladies and gentlemen,
across the line! There we go!

723
00:39:32,350 --> 00:39:34,349
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

724
00:39:34,350 --> 00:39:35,749
Wow!

725
00:39:35,750 --> 00:39:37,829
So...

726
00:39:37,830 --> 00:39:41,589
Where would you like to appear
on the board?

727
00:39:41,590 --> 00:39:44,229
I'm going to say
somewhere in the middle.

728
00:39:44,230 --> 00:39:47,669
Didn't you... Actually, I know you
did, cos you told our researchers,

729
00:39:47,670 --> 00:39:50,589
you were desperate,
cos you went back out...

730
00:39:50,590 --> 00:39:53,349
"Do you mind if I have another go?"
"Give me another shot."

731
00:39:53,350 --> 00:39:56,309
Cos you wanted to beat Tom Cruise.

732
00:39:56,310 --> 00:40:00,509
Yeah, I did want to beat Tom Cruise. I
wasn't talking about the driving, though.

733
00:40:00,510 --> 00:40:01,917
LAUGHTER

734
00:40:03,630 --> 00:40:06,829
Yes, I'm going to guess
that I have 1:45.

735
00:40:06,830 --> 00:40:10,189
1:45? And that's being
really generous.

736
00:40:10,190 --> 00:40:12,470
You did a one... Ugh!

737
00:40:14,230 --> 00:40:16,189
This is terrible... forty...

738
00:40:16,190 --> 00:40:18,269
OK, there's a four.

739
00:40:18,270 --> 00:40:19,549
... three... Oh!

740
00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:21,469
AUDIENCE: Ooh!

741
00:40:21,470 --> 00:40:24,109
... point seven. You beat Tom Cruise!

742
00:40:24,110 --> 00:40:26,109
You're a faster driver!

743
00:40:26,110 --> 00:40:28,629
Wow!

744
00:40:28,630 --> 00:40:30,469
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

745
00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:31,757
Wow! All right!

746
00:40:33,310 --> 00:40:36,717
Congratulations. Give me that cold!

747
00:40:37,830 --> 00:40:38,910
Take that back!

748
00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:43,190
This is...

749
00:40:44,430 --> 00:40:48,629
Wow, that's worth
getting your pneumonia for!

750
00:40:48,630 --> 00:40:49,949
I love that!

751
00:40:49,950 --> 00:40:52,597
Life just gets worse.

752
00:40:54,270 --> 00:40:58,269
You look like that and you're funny
and you're a film star

753
00:40:58,270 --> 00:40:59,510
and you can drive.

754
00:41:00,670 --> 00:41:03,189
Yeah, but I break every bone
in my body

755
00:41:03,190 --> 00:41:06,629
almost with the cycle of each moon,
so don't worry.

756
00:41:06,630 --> 00:41:08,429
I'll hurt myself on the way out.

757
00:41:08,430 --> 00:41:11,269
Well, it's been a pleasure
to meet you,

758
00:41:11,270 --> 00:41:14,509
and a pleasure for those girls
to stand so close to you. Thank you!

759
00:41:14,510 --> 00:41:16,749
Ladies and gentlemen, Ryan Reynolds!

760
00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:19,637
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

761
00:41:25,510 --> 00:41:29,469
Now, tonight, Jeremy and I are
having a go at making a car chase

762
00:41:29,470 --> 00:41:31,189
for the new Sweeney movie,

763
00:41:31,190 --> 00:41:34,669
and so far, well, there have been
a few disagreements.

764
00:41:34,670 --> 00:41:38,749
Jeremy wants the action to
be "realistic", which means "boring".

765
00:41:38,750 --> 00:41:42,589
I want it to be exciting, full of
stunts and massive explosions.

766
00:41:42,590 --> 00:41:43,797
It's a film!

767
00:41:45,470 --> 00:41:49,589
What we've done now is
we've reconnected the ABS,

768
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:52,149
the electronic differential
is now working,

769
00:41:52,150 --> 00:41:55,629
so he should be able to do
a power slide through there.

770
00:41:55,630 --> 00:41:59,037
Yeah. Okey doke, here we go.
Three, two, one, hit it.

771
00:42:05,350 --> 00:42:06,469
Yes, yes!

772
00:42:06,470 --> 00:42:09,989
'Whilst Jeremy was faffing around
with his anti-lock brakes,

773
00:42:09,990 --> 00:42:11,989
'I'd raided The Sweeney's budget

774
00:42:11,990 --> 00:42:15,189
'and come up with a way of getting
the car to jump properly.'

775
00:42:15,190 --> 00:42:16,629
It's an air cannon.

776
00:42:16,630 --> 00:42:19,189
What it does is,
car mounted up on the cannon there,

777
00:42:19,190 --> 00:42:22,709
it charges with a huge compressor
there - it's actually nitrogen...

778
00:42:22,710 --> 00:42:26,629
and it fires the car out over
that way, so you get big air.

779
00:42:26,630 --> 00:42:29,949
Jeremy said about keeping it real -
well, check this out.

780
00:42:29,950 --> 00:42:34,829
Up there. So often when you see a car jump
in a film, you realise the engine's gone.

781
00:42:34,830 --> 00:42:36,789
Not this time - I've left it in.

782
00:42:36,790 --> 00:42:39,189
Three million quid -
what's an engine?

783
00:42:39,190 --> 00:42:42,429
'With the cannon primed,
we were ready for lift-off.'

784
00:42:42,430 --> 00:42:44,830
OK, three, two, one!

785
00:42:54,950 --> 00:42:56,789
That's the jump!

786
00:42:56,790 --> 00:42:57,989
Yes!

787
00:42:57,990 --> 00:43:01,749
'Mr Picky, however,
wasn't so impressed.'

788
00:43:01,750 --> 00:43:05,229
Have you ever heard
the word "continuity"? Yes.

789
00:43:05,230 --> 00:43:06,590
Here is your car.

790
00:43:07,590 --> 00:43:11,109
Yes. Right, the next shot is what?

791
00:43:11,110 --> 00:43:12,350
The next shot is...

792
00:43:12,351 --> 00:43:16,709
Ah, no, this is where there'll be
another car driving away.

793
00:43:16,710 --> 00:43:19,510
No, we see it land on its roof...

794
00:43:20,830 --> 00:43:25,749
... and then we're expected to believe
that somehow it's still driveable?

795
00:43:25,750 --> 00:43:28,309
This is the movies,
that's what happens.

796
00:43:28,310 --> 00:43:32,109
Did you never watch... CHiPs?
Remember that?

797
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:34,789
They'd ride along, one minute
you've got a man on a Harley

798
00:43:34,790 --> 00:43:37,389
approaching the back of a lorry
with its tailgate down,

799
00:43:37,390 --> 00:43:40,109
then he's done a massive jump,
briefly he's on a dirt bike,

800
00:43:40,110 --> 00:43:42,389
then he lands,
he's back on the Harley again.

801
00:43:42,390 --> 00:43:45,069
That's rubbish. That's the movies!
We all expect that!

802
00:43:45,070 --> 00:43:48,429
This car will never work!
It's not plausible!

803
00:43:48,430 --> 00:43:52,029
You can't edit your way out of that!

804
00:43:52,030 --> 00:43:55,709
Just let me get in the edit suite
and work some magic.

805
00:43:55,710 --> 00:43:57,637
You won't believe it.

806
00:44:01,230 --> 00:44:04,069
'First, though, I needed
some close-up shots of the actors,

807
00:44:04,070 --> 00:44:06,149
'which I would then cut
into the scene

808
00:44:06,150 --> 00:44:08,549
'where the car flies
through the air.'

809
00:44:08,550 --> 00:44:11,669
Does Nick know about this? Yeah,
yeah, bang on. Are you sure? Yeah.

810
00:44:11,670 --> 00:44:14,572
'Because we'd got off
to a bad start,

811
00:44:14,573 --> 00:44:17,389
I was keen to demonstrate
they were in good hands.'

812
00:44:17,390 --> 00:44:20,909
You're going to be in the air,
and at that point,

813
00:44:20,910 --> 00:44:25,749
if you'd both give me excitement -
you're in a chase - elation...

814
00:44:25,750 --> 00:44:28,789
you're in the air - but I want to see
determination as well.

815
00:44:28,790 --> 00:44:33,389
You're in a chase,
mixed with vengeful, righteous fury.

816
00:44:33,390 --> 00:44:36,189
So there's so many emotions
going on in this split second,

817
00:44:36,190 --> 00:44:38,989
there's so many emotions
you're going to have to feel.

818
00:44:38,990 --> 00:44:40,749
Let's start with nothing, OK? OK.

819
00:44:40,750 --> 00:44:43,109
That's a blank canvas.
As you hit the ramp...

820
00:44:43,110 --> 00:44:47,069
Richard, I don't feel like
you're giving me enough direction.

821
00:44:47,070 --> 00:44:50,309
You're giving it all to him. What
about me? Ben, blank again for me.

822
00:44:50,310 --> 00:44:52,549
Blank. You're throwing a hissy now,
ain't you?

823
00:44:52,550 --> 00:44:55,829
Let's blank it and let's start...

824
00:44:55,830 --> 00:45:01,029
OK, remember, elation, excitement,
vengeful fury and fear.

825
00:45:01,030 --> 00:45:03,029
So, vengeful fury comes before fear?

826
00:45:03,030 --> 00:45:05,470
At the same time.
What am I frightened of, though?

827
00:45:05,471 --> 00:45:07,069
It's already happened, ain't it?

828
00:45:07,070 --> 00:45:09,069
I wouldn't be frightened
after the event.

829
00:45:09,070 --> 00:45:11,949
Wouldn't I be frightened when
I'm in the air? We're in the air.

830
00:45:11,950 --> 00:45:17,269
Oh, them four emotions
take place in the air? Yeah.

831
00:45:17,270 --> 00:45:20,509
You're in the air for a while.
It'll be a long while, won't it?

832
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:21,750
It's a big jump.

833
00:45:21,751 --> 00:45:24,229
And just one last thing -
we have to land.

834
00:45:24,230 --> 00:45:27,589
I'm going to say, "Forwards,"
and you go forwards, I'm going say,

835
00:45:27,590 --> 00:45:30,269
"Backwards..."
Forwards, backwards, and away.

836
00:45:30,270 --> 00:45:33,069
Forwards, backwards,
forwards and away,

837
00:45:33,070 --> 00:45:35,589
or backwards, forwards, backwards?

838
00:45:35,590 --> 00:45:39,469
No, it's forwards,
you land forwards, backwards,

839
00:45:39,470 --> 00:45:41,629
forwards, backwards, then drive away.

840
00:45:41,630 --> 00:45:43,949
I thought there had to be
another backwards.

841
00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:45,669
Oh, I'm confused. Don't forget,

842
00:45:45,670 --> 00:45:50,389
I want to catch just a whispering
trace of those emotions from the sky.

843
00:45:50,390 --> 00:45:53,149
They're dissipating as you land...

844
00:45:53,150 --> 00:45:55,837
Oh, don't he go on! BLEEP sake.

845
00:45:57,230 --> 00:46:00,269
'While Richard Ford Coppola
was with the stars,

846
00:46:00,270 --> 00:46:02,989
'I was trying to make
the angry director

847
00:46:02,990 --> 00:46:07,829
'understand the problems of driving
a big Jag around a caravan park.'

848
00:46:07,830 --> 00:46:12,989
I have to slide this car on grass,
and the problem is,

849
00:46:12,990 --> 00:46:17,029
the traction control is on,
so it's not letting me slide.

850
00:46:17,030 --> 00:46:18,429
Foot hard down.

851
00:46:18,430 --> 00:46:21,357
Hard down, and it won't slide.

852
00:46:23,630 --> 00:46:26,389
That is the traction control on.

853
00:46:26,390 --> 00:46:28,429
Can I just say, that was BLEEP.

854
00:46:28,430 --> 00:46:31,229
Do you want to see it
with traction control off?

855
00:46:31,230 --> 00:46:32,269
Yeah. OK.

856
00:46:32,270 --> 00:46:33,870
Now watch this. OK.

857
00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:39,717
Get the power on, feel the tail go.

858
00:46:40,790 --> 00:46:41,870
Hold that slide.

859
00:46:45,470 --> 00:46:48,269
That is what we need.

860
00:46:48,270 --> 00:46:51,829
Which do you prefer,
traction control on or off?

861
00:46:51,830 --> 00:46:52,869
Off. Off?

862
00:46:52,870 --> 00:46:56,189
Yes. That means you're going to
have to have a line of dialogue

863
00:46:56,190 --> 00:46:59,270
where one of them says,
"Turn the traction control off."

864
00:47:00,430 --> 00:47:03,829
Not in my film, no. You're going to
have to. It's ten seconds to do it.

865
00:47:03,830 --> 00:47:05,750
You have to hold it down
for ten seconds.

866
00:47:05,751 --> 00:47:09,029
Anyone who's got a Jag watching the
film will go, "You can't do that."

867
00:47:09,030 --> 00:47:11,789
It doesn't matter. It's not
a BLEEP film for Jag watchers.

868
00:47:11,790 --> 00:47:13,909
It's a film for everyone
to go to the cinema.

869
00:47:13,910 --> 00:47:16,869
Why doesn't he say,
"Why do they make it ten seconds?"

870
00:47:16,870 --> 00:47:19,349
He can say that.
No! Cos it kills the...

871
00:47:19,350 --> 00:47:22,149
WALKIE TALKIE BEEPS
Oh, BLEEP off. It kills the tension!

872
00:47:22,150 --> 00:47:24,309
I want a film that connects
to a wide audience.

873
00:47:24,310 --> 00:47:27,309
I know, but...
Can I finish? Can I just speak?

874
00:47:27,310 --> 00:47:30,949
90 minutes into the film
is the main car chase.

875
00:47:30,950 --> 00:47:33,349
You can't have someone pressing
a BLEEP button.

876
00:47:33,350 --> 00:47:36,389
What are you going to do,
a close-up of a button? Yeah.

877
00:47:36,390 --> 00:47:38,549
You're not putting that in my film.

878
00:47:38,550 --> 00:47:41,589
I like the traction control off,
I don't want all bollocks

879
00:47:41,590 --> 00:47:43,789
about what it does
and what it doesn't do.

880
00:47:43,790 --> 00:47:46,429
You said you wanted me
to do something real.

881
00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:48,029
I'm doing something real.

882
00:47:48,030 --> 00:47:51,350
Actually, you know
what you should do - BLEEP off.

883
00:47:54,750 --> 00:47:58,509
'This altercation meant the director
was not in the best of moods

884
00:47:58,510 --> 00:48:01,589
'when he went to have a look
at an edit of Richard's big jump.'

885
00:48:01,590 --> 00:48:03,789
Right, look.
This is still work in progress,

886
00:48:03,790 --> 00:48:06,229
but I have begun
the polishing process,

887
00:48:06,230 --> 00:48:08,469
and I've worked on the sound. OK.

888
00:48:08,470 --> 00:48:09,510
Enjoy.

889
00:48:15,030 --> 00:48:17,789
TYRES SCREECH LOUDLY

890
00:48:17,790 --> 00:48:21,517
ENGINE REVS LOUDLY

891
00:48:24,070 --> 00:48:25,237
EXPLOSION

892
00:48:26,950 --> 00:48:28,557
BLEEP!

893
00:48:34,870 --> 00:48:36,430
TYRES SCREECH

894
00:48:39,950 --> 00:48:41,910
It's all there, isn't it?

895
00:48:47,570 --> 00:48:50,969
OK, what I've done here is
I've set up a practice area

896
00:48:50,970 --> 00:48:52,250
for the next stunt,

897
00:48:52,251 --> 00:48:56,569
so I don't leave tyre marks
in the grass at the actual location,

898
00:48:56,570 --> 00:48:57,889
which is over there.

899
00:48:57,890 --> 00:48:59,530
DISTANT SHOUTS

900
00:49:02,450 --> 00:49:06,729
Well, I guess we were wondering
how the world's angriest man

901
00:49:06,730 --> 00:49:11,329
would respond to Hammond's car jump,
and now we know.

902
00:49:11,330 --> 00:49:14,650
Come here, you BLEEP! Little BLEEP!
I'll kill you!

903
00:49:17,730 --> 00:49:20,569
'Because the director
was busy hurting Richard

904
00:49:20,570 --> 00:49:22,529
'for writing off one of the Fords,

905
00:49:22,530 --> 00:49:26,289
'I seized the opportunity to give
the baddies their new dialogue.'

906
00:49:26,290 --> 00:49:28,569
You're driving, aren't you? Yes.

907
00:49:28,570 --> 00:49:31,009
I need you to say,
"Turn off the ABS."

908
00:49:31,010 --> 00:49:35,049
You say, "How?"
And you say, "Pull the rhythm."

909
00:49:35,050 --> 00:49:37,529
How do you say that
in Serbian? What?

910
00:49:37,530 --> 00:49:39,929
How do you say it in Serbian?
I'm Serbian.

911
00:49:39,930 --> 00:49:42,329
You're Serbian? Yeah.

912
00:49:42,330 --> 00:49:45,289
Have a look. I've written
this all in rhyming slang.

913
00:49:45,290 --> 00:49:46,609
Rhythm and blues - fuse.

914
00:49:46,610 --> 00:49:49,649
Or you could say "Rodney".
No, he's a Serb.

915
00:49:49,650 --> 00:49:52,689
But he'll have learned his English,
won't you, in London.

916
00:49:52,690 --> 00:49:54,769
He's only been here a day.

917
00:49:54,770 --> 00:49:58,129
Rhythm. Do it with a Borat accent.
AS BORAT: Pull the Rodney.

918
00:49:58,130 --> 00:49:59,929
AS BORAT: Pull the Rodney. Yes!

919
00:49:59,930 --> 00:50:02,569
AS BORAT: Pull the Rodney.
Rodney Bewes, fuse.

920
00:50:02,570 --> 00:50:04,129
Similarly... Go on.

921
00:50:04,130 --> 00:50:08,089
You go, "How many horsepower
has that Ford got?" OK, right.

922
00:50:08,090 --> 00:50:13,889
"250." It hasn't actually, really,
but don't let that bother you.

923
00:50:13,890 --> 00:50:17,289
"250." "God, Plod must be Robin."

924
00:50:17,290 --> 00:50:19,609
Robin Hood.

925
00:50:19,610 --> 00:50:22,769
"God, Plod must be Robin."
Cos they're keeping up with you.

926
00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:25,169
God, Plod must be Robin. Yeah?

927
00:50:25,170 --> 00:50:26,569
"We've got 503."

928
00:50:26,570 --> 00:50:28,769
Now, this is the critical bit.

929
00:50:28,770 --> 00:50:30,809
When you're
in the caravan site, you...

930
00:50:30,810 --> 00:50:33,849
AS BORAT: Turn off
the traction control!

931
00:50:33,850 --> 00:50:36,769
AS BORAT: Turn off
the traction control! Love it.

932
00:50:36,770 --> 00:50:39,409
"'Ow. 'Ow. 'Ow do I do that?
Whatever you want."

933
00:50:39,410 --> 00:50:42,690
Oh, "'Ow," you mean? "'Ow."
AS BORAT: Push the Len.

934
00:50:44,410 --> 00:50:47,249
AS BORAT: Push the Len. Push the Len.
It's Len Hutton.

935
00:50:47,250 --> 00:50:50,729
Was he a cricketer or a trade-union
leader? Trade-union leader.

936
00:50:50,730 --> 00:50:52,369
Was he? No, he was a cricketer.

937
00:50:52,370 --> 00:50:55,049
Whatever he was, it's Len.
AS BORAT: Push the Len.

938
00:50:55,050 --> 00:50:57,769
And then, this is
the complicated bit

939
00:50:57,770 --> 00:51:00,129
that we really do need to get in.

940
00:51:00,130 --> 00:51:03,249
AS BORAT: You have to hold it down
for ten seconds.

941
00:51:03,250 --> 00:51:06,369
AS BORAT: You have to hold it down
for ten seconds.

942
00:51:06,370 --> 00:51:09,249
Yeah. It ain't
the most riveting dialogue.

943
00:51:09,250 --> 00:51:10,969
It depends how you deliver it.

944
00:51:10,970 --> 00:51:13,729
You're in a panic -
turn off the traction control!

945
00:51:13,730 --> 00:51:15,650
Where's the Len?! Where's the Len?!

946
00:51:15,651 --> 00:51:19,210
OK, all right, let's do it.
Good. Thanks very much.

947
00:51:21,050 --> 00:51:24,769
'With the dialogue sorted, I went to
see my rather bruised colleague,

948
00:51:24,770 --> 00:51:29,609
'who was now setting up a stunt in
which the Jag would clip a caravan.'

949
00:51:29,610 --> 00:51:32,849
What are you doing?
Filling the caravan with petrol.

950
00:51:32,850 --> 00:51:36,729
Why? So it explodes
when the car hits it. Boom!

951
00:51:36,730 --> 00:51:38,649
Why would the caravan explode?

952
00:51:38,650 --> 00:51:40,689
Because I've filled it with petrol.

953
00:51:40,690 --> 00:51:42,729
But caravans are made from plywood,

954
00:51:42,730 --> 00:51:45,330
and plywood does not blow up
when you bang into it.

955
00:51:46,850 --> 00:51:50,169
It doesn't. They have gas bottles
in them. They would explode.

956
00:51:50,170 --> 00:51:52,090
See, that's what I'm replicating.

957
00:51:53,770 --> 00:51:55,930
Car, "Boom!" OK...

958
00:51:57,330 --> 00:52:00,769
Just a "Boof", OK? Just a "Boof".

959
00:52:00,770 --> 00:52:03,610
Yeah. But please don't go mad.

960
00:52:05,090 --> 00:52:06,450
No.

961
00:52:08,930 --> 00:52:12,089
'I then went to the other side
of the caravan park,

962
00:52:12,090 --> 00:52:15,089
'because a piece of equipment
called a Russian arm,

963
00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:19,329
'which costs £6,000 a day to rent,
had just arrived

964
00:52:19,330 --> 00:52:21,849
'from the set of
Spielberg's War Horse.'

965
00:52:21,850 --> 00:52:24,889
There it is. It's gyro stabilised,

966
00:52:24,890 --> 00:52:28,289
so it's smooth even if the car's
going over rough ground.

967
00:52:28,290 --> 00:52:31,409
So even when the car's moving along,
it can do that,

968
00:52:31,410 --> 00:52:33,969
which gives you
very, very dynamic shots.

969
00:52:33,970 --> 00:52:36,089
This is
what Hammond doesn't understand.

970
00:52:36,090 --> 00:52:40,002
You can use the camera
to make the chase,

971
00:52:40,003 --> 00:52:42,849
the real chase, exciting.

972
00:52:42,850 --> 00:52:46,729
You don't need to have the car going
through the air with two people

973
00:52:46,730 --> 00:52:49,689
out of the sunroof with MAC-10s,
shooting at the car behind.

974
00:52:49,690 --> 00:52:53,969
'Eventually, Hammond called to say
the caravan clip stunt was ready.

975
00:52:53,970 --> 00:52:57,049
'But since my pro drivers
were busy with the Russian arm,

976
00:52:57,050 --> 00:52:58,809
'I fired up a back-up Jag

977
00:52:58,810 --> 00:53:01,809
'and volunteered to do
the driving myself.'

978
00:53:01,810 --> 00:53:04,209
275, take one.

979
00:53:04,210 --> 00:53:05,769
B camera.

980
00:53:05,770 --> 00:53:09,569
Got my own airbag here,
so if I do that, I'll be OK.

981
00:53:09,570 --> 00:53:15,009
Perspex in case I hit the driver's
door. Airbags are disconnected.

982
00:53:15,010 --> 00:53:16,730
Traction control is off.

983
00:53:20,290 --> 00:53:21,409
OK.

984
00:53:21,410 --> 00:53:23,889
DIRECTOR: 'Cameras recording,
please.'

985
00:53:23,890 --> 00:53:27,569
ENGINE REVS

986
00:53:27,570 --> 00:53:29,690
'Action, Jeremy.'

987
00:53:37,090 --> 00:53:38,489
KABOOM!

988
00:53:38,490 --> 00:53:41,130
Whoa! What the hell?!

989
00:53:46,010 --> 00:53:47,530
Hammond!

990
00:53:49,530 --> 00:53:54,209
It was supposed to be a gas bottle.
What the hell...?

991
00:53:54,210 --> 00:53:57,409
You blew the wrong caravan up!
You hit the wrong one!

992
00:53:57,410 --> 00:54:00,133
I didn't hit the wrong one,
that was the one we were supposed to...

993
00:54:00,134 --> 00:54:02,770
You should have labelled it!

994
00:54:03,930 --> 00:54:05,249
Have you any idea...?

995
00:54:05,250 --> 00:54:08,929
The angry man is going to see this,
he's going to see that,

996
00:54:08,930 --> 00:54:14,649
and then he's going to see
his £50,000 Jaguar XFR.

997
00:54:14,650 --> 00:54:16,969
Ooh, my lord.

998
00:54:16,970 --> 00:54:20,929
That wasn't supposed to happen.
He said, "Light bodywork damage..."

999
00:54:20,930 --> 00:54:24,249
You ripped its arse off. "... because
then Jaguar could repair it

1000
00:54:24,250 --> 00:54:26,409
"and I don't have to pay
the full price."

1001
00:54:26,410 --> 00:54:31,090
He's going to see what's happened
here, Hammond, wrong caravan...

1002
00:54:32,250 --> 00:54:33,729
... this...

1003
00:54:33,730 --> 00:54:36,010
the explosion was late...

1004
00:54:38,050 --> 00:54:40,609
God almighty. There's the edit.

1005
00:54:40,610 --> 00:54:44,250
How can you edit an explosion
to happen earlier than it does?

1006
00:54:51,690 --> 00:54:57,649
You know Ray Winstone was watching
that explosion from here, OK?

1007
00:54:57,650 --> 00:55:01,129
He's watching,
and this is not a word of a lie,

1008
00:55:01,130 --> 00:55:03,889
that's a piece of glass
from the caravan

1009
00:55:03,890 --> 00:55:06,290
that's penetrated this caravan.

1010
00:55:08,450 --> 00:55:11,449
If that had hit here,

1011
00:55:11,450 --> 00:55:14,569
would you like to know
what Sophie Raworth would have said

1012
00:55:14,570 --> 00:55:16,770
on The Six O'Clock News tonight?

1013
00:55:18,690 --> 00:55:21,129
'Hammond and I decided
to beat a retreat

1014
00:55:21,130 --> 00:55:24,449
'before the world's angriest man
found out

1015
00:55:24,450 --> 00:55:26,930
'how much of his money
had gone up in smoke.

1016
00:55:33,730 --> 00:55:36,649
'To try and cheer him up,
we decided to demonstrate that,

1017
00:55:36,650 --> 00:55:42,009
'despite all the mishaps, we had
ended up with a good car chase.'

1018
00:55:42,010 --> 00:55:43,690
On here?

1019
00:55:46,450 --> 00:55:48,130
HORN BLARES

1020
00:55:49,770 --> 00:55:52,849
How many horsepower has Plod got?

1021
00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:54,809
AS BORAT: 250.

1022
00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:58,809
God, Plod must be Robin.
This thing's got 503.

1023
00:55:58,810 --> 00:56:00,089
TYRES SCREECH

1024
00:56:00,090 --> 00:56:02,249
HORN BLARES

1025
00:56:02,250 --> 00:56:06,129
AS BORAT: Turn off the ABS.
'Ow do you do that? 'Ow? 'Ow? 'Ow?

1026
00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:07,929
AS BORAT: Pull the rhythm.

1027
00:56:07,930 --> 00:56:09,810
TYRES SCREECH

1028
00:56:14,330 --> 00:56:15,489
Gritty.

1029
00:56:15,490 --> 00:56:17,170
EXPLOSION

1030
00:56:28,010 --> 00:56:30,729
AS BORAT: Turn off
the traction control.

1031
00:56:30,730 --> 00:56:32,049
'Ow?

1032
00:56:32,050 --> 00:56:35,050
AS BORAT: You have to
hold it down for ten seconds.

1033
00:56:37,170 --> 00:56:39,209
Why didn't we get a BMW?

1034
00:56:39,210 --> 00:56:42,050
You only have to push the Len
for five seconds.

1035
00:56:52,690 --> 00:56:55,649
TYRES SQUEAL

1036
00:56:55,650 --> 00:57:01,169
Full ten? Oh, yeah, ten seconds, and
then the viewer's left in no doubt.

1037
00:57:01,170 --> 00:57:02,570
Go!

1038
00:57:04,690 --> 00:57:08,250
KABOOM!

1039
00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:14,370
CRASH

1040
00:57:16,730 --> 00:57:21,049
I think when
the world's angriest man sees that,

1041
00:57:21,050 --> 00:57:24,569
he's going to be quite pleased.

1042
00:57:24,570 --> 00:57:26,649
Is he? I think so.

1043
00:57:26,650 --> 00:57:29,689
I know there are
one or two rough edges in it,

1044
00:57:29,690 --> 00:57:35,569
but overall,
it has a gritty reality.

1045
00:57:35,570 --> 00:57:39,209
He's very keen on hero shots -
you've seen Ray, you've seen Plan.

1046
00:57:39,210 --> 00:57:44,250
This is Ray Winstone out of
The Departed, Ray Winstone out of...

1047
00:57:45,410 --> 00:57:46,929
... Cold Mountain.

1048
00:57:46,930 --> 00:57:48,889
Out of bet364 adverts.

1049
00:57:48,890 --> 00:57:52,610
There he is, rocking about
as the car lands, and I think...

1050
00:57:54,970 --> 00:57:59,169
I think we can pat ourselves on the
back. I don't know where he is now,

1051
00:57:59,170 --> 00:58:01,809
but he's probably regretting
his behaviour today.

1052
00:58:01,810 --> 00:58:04,570
It was just
a personality clash. Really?

1053
00:58:06,610 --> 00:58:07,810
Oh...

1054
00:58:09,170 --> 00:58:11,170
Oh, not my car.

1055
00:58:22,490 --> 00:58:23,997
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1056
00:58:28,210 --> 00:58:33,809
This perfectly sane, rational,
very professional man

1057
00:58:33,810 --> 00:58:38,209
was driven to an act of petty
vandalism by your incompetence?

1058
00:58:38,210 --> 00:58:40,449
He ruined my car.
You ruined his film!

1059
00:58:40,450 --> 00:58:43,409
Can I just say, actually,
we got a call the other day,

1060
00:58:43,410 --> 00:58:46,689
and this is absolutely true,
from a Hollywood producer

1061
00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:50,129
who asked if we could film
a lorry chase through Moscow

1062
00:58:50,130 --> 00:58:52,689
for the new Die Hard film.
Seriously.

1063
00:58:52,690 --> 00:58:55,289
But he'll change his mind
when he sees that, won't he?

1064
00:58:55,290 --> 00:58:59,049
A-ha! You say that, but we brought
back the rushes, the raw material,

1065
00:58:59,050 --> 00:59:03,049
from our shoot,
and we gave that to the editors, OK?

1066
00:59:03,050 --> 00:59:04,530
It's still work in progress,

1067
00:59:04,531 --> 00:59:07,809
but who here would like to see
what they've come up with?

1068
00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:11,009
AUDIENCE: Yeah. OK, let's run
the tape, let's have a look.

1069
00:59:11,010 --> 00:59:12,770
TYRES SQUEAL

1070
00:59:14,050 --> 00:59:15,730
HORNS BLARE

1071
00:59:30,170 --> 00:59:32,330
HORN BLARES

1072
01:00:24,650 --> 01:00:26,930
GUNSHOTS

1073
01:00:31,130 --> 01:00:33,050
GUNFIRE

1074
01:00:44,010 --> 01:00:47,090
APPLAUSE

1075
01:00:48,410 --> 01:00:50,449
Yeah!

1076
01:00:50,450 --> 01:00:52,889
Come on! Yeah!

1077
01:00:52,890 --> 01:00:55,849
Actually, it's not bad.
It's not bad at all.

1078
01:00:55,850 --> 01:00:58,649
And on that bombshell,
it is time to end.

1079
01:00:58,650 --> 01:01:01,729
Thank you very much for watching.
See you next week, goodnight!

1080
01:01:01,730 --> 01:01:05,412
<font color="#00ffff">Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD</font>
<font color="#00ffff">www.Addic7ed.com/</font>