1 00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:15,197 Tonight, I drive around a field, 2 00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:18,037 James measures a runway, 3 00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:21,450 and Richard lays a cable. 4 00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:28,649 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 5 00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:31,409 Thank you. Hello, everybody! 6 00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:35,729 Hello and good evening. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. 7 00:00:35,730 --> 00:00:38,801 Now, as we know, 8 00:00:38,802 --> 00:00:42,449 James May lives in 1956. 9 00:00:42,450 --> 00:00:47,289 So he maintains that you can have more fun in a small, simple car 10 00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:50,969 like an Austin A35 or a Wolseley Hornet, than you 11 00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:53,489 can in the big, fire-spitting super-cars 12 00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:56,729 that Hammond and I thump round the track every week. 13 00:00:56,730 --> 00:00:59,929 Yes, so we said to him, "All right, as a special treat this week, 14 00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:01,569 "why don't you do the power test? 15 00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:04,409 "Get yourself down to the track because we have found a car 16 00:01:04,410 --> 00:01:08,209 "that could have been made specifically with you in mind." 17 00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:09,677 JEREMY CACKLES 18 00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:17,569 When I arrived at the track, everything looked promising. 19 00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:19,209 That is... 20 00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:21,170 a Vauxhall Corsa. 21 00:01:23,570 --> 00:01:25,090 Ah, there's a note. 22 00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:28,569 It's from Pinky and Perky. 23 00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:32,009 "Dear James, hope you enjoy taking this to the max. 24 00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:34,929 "PS, it was developed at your most favourite place 25 00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:36,610 "in the whole wide world." 26 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,170 Oh, God. 27 00:01:47,723 --> 00:01:50,449 This wasn't what I had in mind. 28 00:01:50,450 --> 00:01:53,637 But since I was here and the camera crew were paid for, 29 00:01:54,090 --> 00:01:56,010 I had no choice but to get on with it. 30 00:01:58,890 --> 00:02:03,010 Well, it's certainly quick. 0 to 60 in 6.5 seconds. 31 00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:08,009 And a top speed of 145 miles an hour. 32 00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:10,290 Hell, this is a Vauxhall Corsa! 33 00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:17,837 The engine is a beefed-up version of the standard 1.6-litre turbo. 34 00:02:18,203 --> 00:02:21,369 And it's now been coupled with a new sports exhaust, 35 00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:26,050 as a result of which, it produces 202 horsepower. 36 00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:31,289 202 horsepower is a huge amount put through the front wheels 37 00:02:31,290 --> 00:02:33,049 of a small car like this. 38 00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:37,409 And the results ought to be pretty dramatic. 39 00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:41,729 And by dramatic, I mean, of course, appalling in the bends. 40 00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:45,609 So let's see if that's true with the aid of our senior 41 00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:47,969 cornering solutions consultant. 42 00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:50,370 TYRES SQUEAL 43 00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:00,409 Now, on paper, this really ought not to work, 44 00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:03,209 all that power in the front wheels should just make it 45 00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:07,049 plough straight on in the corners and consume its own tyres. 46 00:03:07,050 --> 00:03:08,690 But actually, it doesn't. 47 00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:14,849 The reason for that is they've given this car a bespoke suspension, 48 00:03:14,850 --> 00:03:18,729 especially set-up for this and they've developed a clever diff, 49 00:03:18,730 --> 00:03:22,890 which manages the way the power is fed to the wheels. 50 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,490 It's good, isn't it? 51 00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:34,249 It's actually better than good. 52 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,489 And I have to admit, that its time on the Nurburgring has made this 53 00:03:37,490 --> 00:03:40,570 one of the best-handling hot hatchbacks you can buy. 54 00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:48,289 So it was developed on a track. And it's brilliant on a track. 55 00:03:48,290 --> 00:03:50,369 But on the road... 56 00:03:50,370 --> 00:03:52,289 Bloody hell. 57 00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:55,489 Well, I'm very pleased to be able to report that my prejudices 58 00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:57,009 remain completely intact. 59 00:03:57,010 --> 00:04:00,609 When you add the word Nurburgring to the name of a car, 60 00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:02,609 it's really just code for "ruined", 61 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,689 because the ride is absolutely rock hard. 62 00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:08,289 Ooh! It's ridiculous. 63 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,409 Ooh! 64 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:12,649 Car makers become obsessed with making their cars 65 00:04:12,650 --> 00:04:15,329 go around this irrelevant historic... 66 00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:18,409 German racetrack as fast as possible, 67 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:21,049 without realising that they're ruining the car 68 00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:23,369 for those of us who live in the real world. 69 00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:26,450 Ow! It's utterly hopeless. 70 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:34,049 It's not just ruined, it's expensively ruined, 71 00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:37,249 because this car costs £22,000. 72 00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:39,969 With a few options, like leather seats and sat nav, 73 00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:42,410 it's over £24,000. 74 00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:47,610 This isn't what I meant when I said small cars can be fun. 75 00:04:51,163 --> 00:04:55,729 What I meant was this - the new Fiat Panda. 76 00:04:55,730 --> 00:05:00,409 It doesn't have a yobbo body kit or a map of a track on the dash 77 00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:03,849 and although its engine IS turbocharged, 78 00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:06,317 it's only a 0.8-litre two-cylinder 79 00:05:06,483 --> 00:05:10,209 that makes a modest 84 horsepower. 80 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:15,650 Yet, I believe this car is more fun than the Corsa. 81 00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:22,729 TYRES SQUEAL 82 00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:26,009 It's not actually about how much power you have, 83 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,969 it's about how much power you can use. 84 00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:33,970 And in this, you can use pretty much all of it, all of the time. 85 00:05:36,090 --> 00:05:38,162 Ahh! 86 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,169 HE LAUGHS 87 00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:45,289 'Look, I like sitting 5mm above the road in a 500 horsepower supercar 88 00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:46,770 'as much as anybody else.' 89 00:05:46,771 --> 00:05:48,569 Whee! 90 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:51,649 'But skinny tyres and a roly-poly body, that's fun.' 91 00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:55,129 The lack of grip means that, more of the time, 92 00:05:55,130 --> 00:05:58,289 you are driving this car at the edge, even at quite normal speeds 93 00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:02,290 and it's at the edge where things become absolutely tremendous. 94 00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,089 Oh, bit of squirrelling. 95 00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:11,410 And as for that engine, well, it may be tiny but it packs a punch. 96 00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:16,169 And it sounds just brilliant. 97 00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:20,249 I love that thrumming noise! Rrrrrr! 98 00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:23,089 It's such a happy sound. 99 00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:26,289 It's a bit like a dog running round with a frisbee in its mouth going 100 00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:28,410 "Come on, come on, throw the frisbee." 101 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:33,049 And the cost of this bundle of fun? 102 00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:35,329 Around £11,000. 103 00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:38,250 Half the price of the Corsa. 104 00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:45,250 However, there is a potential problem with a small-engined car. 105 00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:49,210 Here's the Stig, taking the Panda from 0... 106 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:55,930 ... to 70 and back to nought again. 107 00:06:59,890 --> 00:07:05,129 He did that, according to the wheel o'distance, 108 00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:07,169 in 305 metres. 109 00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:12,089 But the big question is, how does a small-engined car like this cope 110 00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:14,490 when it's weighed down with people? 111 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:19,569 Now, if it's just the Stig, then it makes no odds, 112 00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:21,010 as you can see quite clearly. 113 00:07:21,011 --> 00:07:23,089 But if it's normal members of the public, 114 00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:25,610 then I think we may have a problem. 115 00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:29,609 You see, according to the newspapers, 116 00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:32,849 more than a quarter of adults are now obese. 117 00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:35,129 And in just a few years' time, 118 00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:39,969 over 50% of the population will be absolutely enormous. 119 00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:42,449 So, what could a typical family of the future 120 00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:45,610 do to this car's performance? 121 00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:07,849 BEEP 122 00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:09,770 TYRES SQUEAL 123 00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:15,970 320... 124 00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:19,249 325... 125 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:24,249 Right, so with just the Stig, it was 305 metres. 126 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,603 With our family on board, 127 00:08:25,604 --> 00:08:30,289 it took an extra 177 metres, 128 00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:32,170 more than half as much again. 129 00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:37,169 So, if you buy this car, 130 00:08:37,170 --> 00:08:40,010 you might want to think about going easy on the pasties. 131 00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:45,050 But trust me, it's worth it. 132 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:51,129 James Hunt was once famously asked, 133 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:54,569 what was the best car he'd ever driven and the answer was not 134 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:57,369 a Ferrari or a Porsche or any supercar, 135 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,809 it was his old Austin A35 van, 136 00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:05,569 which had virtually no power and very, very skinny tyres. 137 00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:09,370 In other words, exactly the same qualities you get with the Panda. 138 00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:14,929 And if that's good enough for James Hunt, I rest my case. 139 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,729 Thank you. 140 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,090 And goodbye. 141 00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:25,490 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 142 00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:29,770 I'm... 143 00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:34,769 I'm glad you brought James Hunt into it, James... 144 00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,730 I'm always getting you two muddled up. 145 00:09:36,731 --> 00:09:39,769 Well, we do have quite a lot in common. I mean, same name. 146 00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:42,849 Same hair. I wish you had the same pulse rate. 147 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:46,489 Because I have never heard so much drivel. 148 00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:49,049 Let me make it absolutely plain. 149 00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:52,649 A car becomes interesting at the limit of grip of its tyres, OK? 150 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,889 And in things like a big Lambo or a big Aston, those things you like, 151 00:09:55,890 --> 00:09:58,009 that happens at really colossal speed. 152 00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:02,049 So you have to drive them on the track to have fun in them. Yes. 153 00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:04,729 On a car like this, that stuff happens at normal speeds, 154 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,490 so you don't need to go to the track. 155 00:10:06,491 --> 00:10:09,529 You enjoy them on a normal road at normal speeds. 156 00:10:09,530 --> 00:10:12,969 That's rubbish. A normal hatchback, you drive it round a city centre, 157 00:10:12,970 --> 00:10:16,369 it's not skidding about all over the place. But this is. 158 00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:19,409 This is on those eco fuel-saving tyres. I went straight off... 159 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:24,009 So you're saying, the Fiat Panda's good because it crashes more easily? 160 00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:25,329 LAUGHTER 161 00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:26,529 Yes. 162 00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:30,369 And, it's now time to find out how fast it goes around our track. 163 00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:33,809 No, no, no. The programme isn't long enough to put a Panda round. 164 00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,569 Oh, go on! It isn't, it isn't. 165 00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:38,609 We're going to see how fast the Vauxhall goes and that means, 166 00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:41,529 of course, handing it over to our tame racing driver. 167 00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:47,169 Some say that he has 50,000 photographs of his own camera. 168 00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:49,129 LAUGHTER 169 00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:53,517 And that 60 years ago this week, he, too, became a queen. 170 00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:54,849 LAUGHTER 171 00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:57,450 All we know is he's called the Stig! 172 00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,889 And he's away. Lots of wheel spin off the line. 173 00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:03,409 It's a cold day out there. 174 00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:07,889 The air's dense and small turbocharged engines like that. 175 00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:09,969 Look at it flying into the first corner. 176 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,609 Sticky tyres howling in pain. 177 00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:15,489 "THE ARCHERS" THEME TUNE 178 00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:19,929 Oh, dear, the Stig continues his obsession with The Archers, 179 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,209 tracking tidily around Chicago. 180 00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:25,569 Clever limited slip diff doing its job. 181 00:11:25,570 --> 00:11:28,289 Hard on the brakes for Hammerhead. Will it understeer? 182 00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:30,729 No. Getting a bit squirrelly, though. 183 00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:32,969 Looks like the back end wants to step out. 184 00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:35,529 Certainly more exciting to watch than May's Panda. 185 00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:36,744 'I'm not very hungry. 186 00:11:36,745 --> 00:11:40,609 I've been nibbling all morning making stuff for the freezer for Thursday.' 187 00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:42,089 Midlands mimsy there. 188 00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:46,289 Right, unleashing all it's got. Chucking snow on to the follow-through. 189 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:50,169 There's no doubt, cars developed at the Nurburgring are useless on the road. 190 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:53,369 James is right about that but this isn't a road and it's doing well. 191 00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:56,609 A little blob of phlegm. Coming up now to Gambon. 192 00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:59,609 Round it like it terrier and across the line! 193 00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:03,129 APPLAUSE 194 00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:07,089 And it did it in one minute... 195 00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:10,449 19.2. 196 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,809 No, it didn't. 197 00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:15,329 One minute 31 seconds is where it did it. 198 00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:18,449 So, James, can we now stop doing small, simple hatchbacks 199 00:12:18,450 --> 00:12:21,529 in the power tests? You can, yes. Good, thank you. 200 00:12:21,530 --> 00:12:23,089 You are sacked. 201 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,889 LAUGHTER 202 00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:28,329 Well, that's good news. And speaking of which, it is time to do the news. 203 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:31,169 I start off with something very exciting. Because there is 204 00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:33,529 a new Morgan and after an absence of ten years, 205 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:35,849 they have revived their legendary Plus 8 name. 206 00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:39,049 They've made a new one. I have a picture. Here it is. Oh, yeah. 207 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,889 Oh, God. Morgan don't have a styling department, do they? 208 00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:44,809 They've just got a photocopier. 209 00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:48,249 It's not like a normal photocopier. Normally, you select the size. 210 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:52,129 On Morgans, you select the year. Anything from 1931 to 1935. 211 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:55,889 Shut up. It's an all-new car. It's got the classic body shape, yes. 212 00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:59,249 But it's got a 4.8-litre BMW V8 in there. 213 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:01,849 It'll be good for 60, probably under four seconds. 214 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:05,769 It's going to be the fastest-accelerating Morgan they've made ever. 215 00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:08,329 Wow(!) It's exciting! 216 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,929 Do you have to buy the petrol with those ration coupons? No, shut up. 217 00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:13,330 It's actually very modern. 218 00:13:13,331 --> 00:13:16,649 It's got a bonded aluminium chassis and the aluminium body 219 00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:19,889 is super formed, it's very hi tech. What? How many guineas is it? 220 00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:21,569 LAUGHTER 221 00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:23,889 Its 85,000 POUNDS. 222 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:28,369 It's very modern and hi tech and I want one of those very much indeed. It's fantastic. 223 00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:31,769 You can't have one, there's a war on. LAUGHTER 224 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,417 They'll have to melt it down to make Spitfires. 225 00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:36,169 Shut up, it's exciting and I want one. 226 00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:40,209 I've got news about Toyota and Subaru because they've collaborated on a new car. 227 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,689 It's called a GT 86. 228 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,529 This is going to be £25,000, 229 00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:46,649 which makes it more expensive than a VW Scirocco. 230 00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:49,677 And it's not the best-looking car in the world, is it? 231 00:13:49,843 --> 00:13:51,049 No, it isn't. 232 00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:53,569 But the interesting thing about it, 233 00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:56,769 the thing that means everyone is anticipating this very eagerly, 234 00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:00,929 is it has a limited slip differential and rear-wheel drive. 235 00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:03,209 It's hard to explain really to non-car people 236 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,769 why real-wheel drive is important. So, let me put it this way. 237 00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:09,849 Front-wheel drive is cornflour. 238 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:12,529 And rear-wheel drive it is a roux. 239 00:14:12,530 --> 00:14:15,129 That's quite good, isn't it? Yes, that's good. 240 00:14:15,130 --> 00:14:16,729 What are you going on about?! 241 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:21,809 Cornflour, you use it to thicken a sauce, say. 242 00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,770 Why would you want to thicken a sauce? 243 00:14:23,771 --> 00:14:25,409 Ketchup comes out of a bottle 244 00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:28,289 and I don't want it thicker, that's just what it is. 245 00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:30,650 I have to let you into a little secret we learned. 246 00:14:30,651 --> 00:14:33,169 Richard Hammond has his Sunday lunch every Sunday. 247 00:14:33,170 --> 00:14:36,049 Anyone here familiar with the Countrywide chain of stores? 248 00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:40,569 Yeah? They are big cash-and-carry warehouses for rural people. 249 00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:44,769 And you go there and buy stones and gravel and things for your horses 250 00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:46,849 and he has his lunch there. 251 00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:51,129 They do a nice Sunday roast, 5.99. How much? 252 00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:54,049 5.99 and you get all the vegetables you want. 253 00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:56,129 I bet you any money that they have wilted 254 00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:57,890 cos they've been boiled for so long. 255 00:14:57,891 --> 00:14:59,103 They're properly cooked, yeah. 256 00:14:59,104 --> 00:15:01,729 That's not properly cooked! That's ruined! 257 00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:05,409 "Oh, Richard Hammond will be here on Sunday, we better put the sprouts on now." 258 00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:08,369 It's like going for your lunch in B&Q. 259 00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:12,369 A big treat, children, this week, we are going to have lunch in Halfords! 260 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:15,729 That's very funny but can I get back to the car? 261 00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:18,729 The thing about it is, it isn't a great-looking car 262 00:15:18,730 --> 00:15:23,049 and it is a bit pricey, but, it also has a boxer engine in it. 263 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:24,970 Yes, two-litre. That's good, isn't it? 264 00:15:24,971 --> 00:15:27,929 Would you like to explain, Jeremy, 265 00:15:27,930 --> 00:15:30,769 why having a boxer configuration engine is a good thing? 266 00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:32,449 Yes, I will. 267 00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:33,689 Really? 268 00:15:33,690 --> 00:15:38,169 A boxer engine is like going to Jamie Oliver's restaurant for your lunch. 269 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:41,689 And a normal engine is like going to Countrywide 270 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,089 with over-boiled vegetables. 271 00:15:44,090 --> 00:15:47,049 It's a nice lunch. They give you a wooden spoon with a number on 272 00:15:47,050 --> 00:15:51,089 and when they call the number, you get your meat and then all the vegetables you want. 273 00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:54,969 WEST COUNTRY ACCENT: "Mr Hammond, your table for four." 274 00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:56,329 LAUGHTER 275 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:59,569 Good news, chaps. No, what? There's a new Dacia. 276 00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:01,049 CHEERING Thank you. 277 00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:05,889 And I've got a picture of it. That's a looker, isn't it?! 278 00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:07,250 Anyway, moving on. 279 00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,529 Whiplash is a charter for fraudsters. 280 00:16:11,530 --> 00:16:13,529 We all know this. You have a car accident 281 00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,370 and you go, "Oh, I've got whiplash," 282 00:16:15,371 --> 00:16:18,089 and you rape the other motorist's insurance policy 283 00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:20,529 and you get benefits for the rest of your life. 284 00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:23,289 The Government has said this has to stop. 285 00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:26,169 So they have announced, the Government, all right, 286 00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:30,809 that if the impact speed is less than 6.25 miles an hour, 287 00:16:30,810 --> 00:16:33,169 you can't have whiplash. 288 00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:35,609 6.25? 6.25. 289 00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:39,449 But they're also saying that if it is 6.5, you could get whiplash at that speed. 290 00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:41,929 You can do that speed sitting down quickly. 291 00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:44,517 Look, I'm doing 6.25, I've got whiplash. 292 00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:48,797 It should be 63. That would be a reasonable speed. 293 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,919 The question should be, he is your car absolutely and entirely wrecked? 294 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:57,239 Is it crumpled like a discarded crisp bag, in which case, you might have a point. 295 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,159 Has the boot lid badge been a stencilled on to your own spine? 296 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,439 Well, then you've got whiplash. 297 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,799 No, it's can you actually look up your own arse now? 298 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,399 LAUGHTER 299 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,439 Then you've possibly got some whiplash. Could be. 300 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,199 I do genuinely believe that people who've got whiplash when they haven't, 301 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:20,599 I don't believe in capital punishment, but they should be shot. 302 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,719 Where would you shoot them? In the head. 303 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,199 I meant more sort of geographically. Yeah. 304 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,279 Oh, God. 305 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,598 On their own or in front of anyone, Do you want to say that? Sort it out. 306 00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:32,720 Goes well when you do. Maybe on a different show. 307 00:17:32,721 --> 00:17:35,719 Let's just get it so we can straighten out your belief. 308 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:39,759 Who do you think should be shot, where and in front of whom? 309 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,199 Oh, now, moving it on... 310 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,839 LAUGHTER 311 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:48,319 I've got some actual news. Don't be daft. In our news section? 312 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,599 In the news section. It's not just rubbish. 313 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,839 Careful, we're in uncharted waters here. OK. 314 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,599 I have it on good authority that Land Rover is currently working 315 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:02,599 on a 300-horsepower convertible version of the new Evoke. 316 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,119 The Evoke? Have you got a picture? 317 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:08,439 I've got a picture here of the hard-top one. It's so secret, this. 318 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,199 Only I... Well, everybody now knows about it. So I thought... 319 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,907 Stand back, he's got scissors! 320 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,399 Oh ho! Look at him concentrate, look at him now! 321 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,639 LAUGHTER 322 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,239 It's the Top Gear orang-utan, look at his happy little face. 323 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,559 Completely absorbed in his own world. 324 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,599 And if you watch very carefully, 325 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,067 you can see Jeremy's mouth moving in time. 326 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,359 It's quite tricky going down the wing mirror. 327 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,239 A tricky bit now, isn't it? Ready? 328 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,427 And across the line! 329 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,759 Actually, it looks quite good, doesn't it! Am I right in saying, 330 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,959 that would be the first ever convertible off-road car? 331 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,919 Yeah, well, apart from the original Willys Jeep, 332 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,679 the first Toyota Land Cruiser and the original Land Rover. Apart from that... 333 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,519 Apart from the very origins, Genesis, the whole foundation, if you will, 334 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,440 of the entire concept of the off-roader 335 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:04,839 is founded upon a convertible. 336 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,119 Did I say that out loud? You did and we all heard it. 337 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,472 That's a bit like saying they should make a song called Blue Suede Shoes. 338 00:19:11,473 --> 00:19:13,279 Yes, they should do. 339 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,279 There's a new car I want to tell you about. 340 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,305 I'll flash it up on the screen for one second 341 00:19:17,306 --> 00:19:19,399 and I want you to tell me what it is. 342 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,320 Are you ready? Here we go. And, on. 343 00:19:21,321 --> 00:19:23,719 And off. What was that? 344 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:27,119 Aston Martin. You see, it wasn't. 345 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:31,319 That, in fact, let's get it up again, that is the new Mondeo. 346 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,319 Is it? Was it done by a Chinese person? 347 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,799 LAUGHTER 348 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,639 Let me explain because this is quite complicated. 349 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:43,079 That's been launched in America already as the Ford Fusion. 350 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,599 It's not coming to Britain until next year. 351 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,159 So Ford in Britain, they're not admitting that is the new Mondeo 352 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,719 because they think people won't continue to buy the current one for a year, 353 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,559 but it is the new Mondeo and it's coming next year, so there. 354 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,519 Now, if you're under 40, you may not remember 355 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,679 a television show called The Sweeney. 356 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:05,079 So, to fill you in, every week, it was a cop show in essence. 357 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,879 Every week, the hero would have some casual sex with a lady. 358 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,919 Then he'd punch a baddie in the middle of his face and then drive 359 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:16,279 a Ford Granada very briskly across some waste ground in Saaf London. 360 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,599 Now, the reason we bring this up is we heard 361 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:22,439 the other day that they were making a film of this TV series 362 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,279 starring Ray Winstone and Plan B. 363 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,119 And this gave us an idea. 364 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:30,919 For ages, we have wanted to make a proper movie car chase. 365 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,039 We reckon we'd be pretty good at it. 366 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,799 So we got in touch with the film's producers and we said, 367 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,559 "There's bound to be a car chase in it so can Hammond and I 368 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,079 "make it for you?" 369 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,747 And they said yes! 370 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:51,719 This being The Sweeney, the location was in the Saaf of England. 371 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:56,599 And while the main crew were hard at work shooting shoot-outs... 372 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,639 And people jumping off boats, 373 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,599 Hammond and I were trying to decide what sort of car chase 374 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,760 we wanted to make. 375 00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:06,519 And then there was the Bond film in Vietnam and it was just 376 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:10,319 stupid stunt, after stupid stunt, all shot from a helicopter. 377 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,919 So you never had a sense of speed. 378 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:16,199 So you want to be close, so if a car does like a jump and a roll, 379 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,399 you want to be up close and maybe see the driver's face, 380 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,239 as if you were in the car? 381 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:26,279 No, there is no jump and roll. There would be stunts, it is a car chase. 382 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,559 No, no. 383 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,519 Here is an idea. So, say, helicopter here. Car comes out. 384 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,839 Barrel roll happens. Bam! Boom! 385 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,759 You want be back wide so you can see the helicopter. 386 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:40,199 We are not having any cars crashing into helicopters. But... 387 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:44,839 No, we're not. Why? Because that's just stupid. This is the Sweeney. 388 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:49,639 It's a real police chase. Honestly, just think. Ronin, Bullitt. 389 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,879 The Italian Job, the original one. 390 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,559 Good, gritty car chases because they're real. 391 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:58,479 How many jumps where the car went "Whee!" Were there in Ronin? 392 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,279 But we need to drag The Sweeney into this century 393 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,319 so we need cars going into helicopters. 394 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,759 What are those drawings? What are those drawings? 395 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:11,199 Car going into helicopter. We haven't got... What's that?! 396 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,039 That is very clever. 397 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,599 Right. Train going along. There isn't a carriage. 398 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:19,999 It's one of those flat ones. And he times his jump... No, no, no. 399 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,559 No. There's a chance... 400 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,319 'Since we weren't getting anywhere...' No! 401 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,517 '...I went off to meet our actors.' 402 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:32,079 I want to shoot 'em. No, you've shot four already. 403 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,319 Shoot them together. Hello. 404 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:39,799 Actors, hi. My name's Richard. I'm, I'm, the director, I suppose. 405 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,519 And, um, so, you're Plan B? I'm Plan B, nice to meet you. 406 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,039 Can I call you Plan? Yeah, if you want. 407 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,679 And, over here, of course, morning. Delighted to meet you. 408 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,479 Hello, mate. 409 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,959 It's an honour to work with you, really. 410 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,479 When are you working with us? 411 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,319 Later on today we are going to be doing some stunt work. 412 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,959 You'll be able to handle it, the variety of stuff you've done. 413 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,039 We're a bit busy in here at the minute. 414 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,730 Can you go and rabbit somewhere else? 415 00:23:05,731 --> 00:23:08,239 I know you are busy, that's great. It'll be mega! 416 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,919 And you're going to handle all of it so well. 417 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,559 What am I going to handle well? What are you talking about? 418 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:20,239 The Long Good Friday. Grit, anger in there. The Long Good Friday. Anger. 419 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,959 And the same career, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? No, that's not him. 420 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,437 No, I'm not Bob Hoskins, mate. 421 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,519 Whilst Hammond was making friends with the stars, 422 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:36,560 I was making the cars that the film's producers had chosen. 423 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,717 The baddies would be using a Jaguar XFR. 424 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,317 And the goodies, a Ford Focus ST. 425 00:23:47,603 --> 00:23:50,359 And straight away, there's a problem. 426 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:53,679 Because anyone who knows anything about cars will watch this film 427 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,479 and say, "There's no way that a Ford Focus 428 00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:01,239 "can keep up with a supercharged 500-horsepower V8 Jag." 429 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,839 The speed difference, 430 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:07,519 as I shall now demonstrate on our closed piece of road, is... 431 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:08,640 immense. 432 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,397 ENGINE ROARS 433 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,157 To make matters worse, this isn't an ST. 434 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:34,879 It's a 1.6-litre eco boost with ST badges, 435 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,717 ST wheels and look, fake dials on the dashboard. 436 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:50,199 I decided to put these concerns to the film's director, Nick Love. 437 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,279 The problem you've got is a Ford Focus cannot keep up with a Jag. 438 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,366 It's about the skill of the driver, not the car. 439 00:24:56,367 --> 00:24:58,079 It's a story being told. 440 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,879 No. If Regan is a good driver, he can keep up with anybody. You can't. 441 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,679 You can in my film. You can't, because we are directing this. 442 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,919 You're going to have to get faster cars than the Focus. 443 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,039 We have a very restricted amount of money and we can't... 444 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,439 What are we going to do, buy Ferraris? What's the budget? 445 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,239 Of the film? Yes. Three million quid. Whoa! 446 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:23,039 What, for just this film? Three million. That's nothing. 447 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:27,719 Let's put them in Veyrons, Bugatti. You could get two for that. 448 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,639 Could you also explain to him, we're trying to keep it real. 449 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,806 He wants to do this thing where it jumps over a train. 450 00:25:33,807 --> 00:25:36,799 The idea is, get this... That's bollocks. 451 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,359 A train comes along and when it comes through, 452 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:41,999 your man's there in his car and he times it... 453 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,519 jumps through the gap. That's real. Brilliant. 454 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,079 We're going to need something faster than the Focus. 455 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,552 No, we're just going to think big in terms of action. 456 00:25:50,553 --> 00:25:52,639 This is a motorway bridge. 457 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,679 You know, where they haven't finished building, but look, 458 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:59,679 it's beginning to twist and that's a helicopter. I'm getting a migraine. 459 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,839 You are talking BLEEP, the pair of you. 460 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,199 You want to do a commercial and you want a film that no-one will believe. 461 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,757 If you're going to do it, do it properly, that's all I'm saying. 462 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,119 Having got the distinct impression that I couldn't change the cars, 463 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,239 I had to get creative. 464 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:20,959 Sorry about this, mate. We have the baddie. 465 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,517 So, the front-wheel drive Ford 466 00:26:23,518 --> 00:26:26,959 would be driven by former rally champion Mark Higgins, 467 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,959 and the rear-drive Jag by drifting world champion Mauro Calo. 468 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,397 OK. Three, two, one, to catch up, go. 469 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,319 And to get round the speed difference, 470 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,077 I'd created a scene in which the Jag is held up by traffic. 471 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,079 HORN BLARES 472 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,597 And three, two, one, hit. 473 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:54,917 Try again, try again, try again. 474 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,679 Whoa! 475 00:26:58,680 --> 00:26:59,800 Yes! 476 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,280 Man alive, are we getting some shots here! 477 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,959 Whilst Jeremy was lost in the land of reality, 478 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,639 I was at the location for the climax of the chase, 479 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:19,239 a deserted caravan park, where I was setting up a dramatic jump. 480 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,359 You're all right, you're all right. 481 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,639 Oh, yeah. And hold it there, that's perfect. 482 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,599 I come racing up that field. Between those two posts 483 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,679 there'll be a barrier and I smash through it. That's some drama. 484 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,279 Up the ramp, I get air. 485 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,479 There, past the caravans and land on the grass. 486 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,519 With the ramp hidden from the cameras, 487 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,919 I nicked one of the back-up Focuses and was ready to go. 488 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,679 I'd love it if they use the actual shot with me doing it. 489 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,199 That would be brilliant. I'd be in the film. 490 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,720 First off, drive through the gate post. 491 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,680 And now, get me some air! 492 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,919 Yeah! That felt good, that felt like we had air and everything. 493 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,240 However, when I watched it back on the monitor... 494 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,560 Play it again. 495 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:11,840 This is rubbish. 496 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,839 Meanwhile, I was now filming the cars from the front, 497 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:23,119 which meant my drivers had to be made to look exactly like the main actors. 498 00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:25,919 What's going to happen is your alongside him. 499 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,359 You're going exactly the same speed. When he's ready to make this turn, 500 00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:32,879 you're not ready to make this turn, you think he's going on down there. 501 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,599 He's going to lock up, which causes your handbrake turn 502 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,120 but we'll get that in a minute. 503 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,839 I then disconnected the Jag's anti-lock brakes so it would lock up 504 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:46,199 in a cloud of tyre smoke and then we went for a take. 505 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,560 OK, we're ready. 506 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,159 Mark, less moving around, less moving. 507 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,720 Yes, that's good. 508 00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:58,920 Oh! 509 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,480 TYRES SQUEAL 510 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,559 Ooh! 511 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,959 I may have to go to the lavatory for a little while. 512 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 513 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,759 What? Hold on a minute. 514 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,919 How the hell could you not know who Ray Winstone is? 515 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,567 Think that it - middle-aged, Cockney actor, 516 00:29:23,568 --> 00:29:25,599 it's just Bob Hoskins, isn't it? It just is. 517 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,919 And that bit with the car when you drove them together, 518 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,079 that was just wanton destruction? No, it wasn't. 519 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,799 We had three Jags. And five Ford Focuses. 520 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,639 And remember, we had £3 million to play with. 521 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,280 No, we didn't have three million quid 522 00:29:40,281 --> 00:29:43,279 but we were allowed to do light damage. We really were. 523 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,080 Anyway, we'll pick that up later on. 524 00:29:45,081 --> 00:29:49,479 Now, it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car. 525 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,359 Over the years, we've had many guests on this programme. 526 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,559 All different sorts. Men, women, 527 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,999 Americans, Germans. 528 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,279 A lesbian. 529 00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,479 LAUGHTER 530 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,879 We've never had a Canadian, though. 531 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,639 That, however, is ABOOT to change. 532 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,039 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ryan Reynolds! 533 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 534 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,759 How are you? I'm very well, how are you? 535 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,200 I'm very well, thank you. 536 00:30:16,201 --> 00:30:18,400 Hi, everybody. Hello, hello. 537 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,919 Hello! Have a seat. 538 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,799 I'd love to. Have a seat. 539 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,359 It's like looking in a mirror! It really is! 540 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,079 It really is! Not for you! 541 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,759 So, 2010, you were voted the sexiest man alive. 542 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,439 AUDIENCE: Woo! 543 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:37,919 That was 2010, though! 544 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,519 I'm on the lecture circuit now! 545 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,959 I was just thinking, your schooldays, 546 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,559 were they just a blizzard of snogging and smooth moves? 547 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:52,079 No, it wasn't that. I was a bit of a little pariah at school. 548 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,599 I have three older brothers, 549 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,319 all of whom were kicked out of this very same school, 550 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,879 so from the moment I got there, I was a marked man. 551 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,360 What were they kicked out for? 552 00:31:00,361 --> 00:31:02,959 Just random things. Just mostly drugs and violence. 553 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,879 OK! 554 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,599 And I was kicked out for something I think you'd appreciate. 555 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,959 I was kicked out for stealing a car. 556 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:15,359 Stealing a car? But wait, I didn't actually steal a vehicle. 557 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:19,919 What we did was, a teacher that we had was just 100% awful, 558 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,319 he had this little car, one of those little Volkswagens, 559 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,559 and so my friends and I just played an April Fools' prank on him. 560 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,879 We picked it up, we lifted it up and carried it down the block, 561 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,120 about eight of us. 562 00:31:31,121 --> 00:31:32,974 We talked about this last week. 563 00:31:32,975 --> 00:31:35,159 The best fun you can have with a little car is pick it up 564 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,479 and turn it round so it's facing the other way... Fun practical joke. 565 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,720 That's a better idea, 566 00:31:39,721 --> 00:31:44,239 because in Canada, if you move it more than ten feet, it's a felony. 567 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,799 I didn't know that. 568 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:47,638 So you moved a car more than ten feet 569 00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:49,520 and then that was grand theft auto? 570 00:31:49,521 --> 00:31:52,079 Yeah, one city block was, yeah, 100% grand theft. 571 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:56,039 Now, obviously, sexiest man alive, 2010, 572 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,399 but reading through your notes, also clumsiest man alive. 573 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,879 Mmm. Oh, definitely, yeah. 574 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,639 There's a thing... Zurich, Switzerland... 575 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,959 it is impossible to hurt yourself in Zurich. 576 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,679 You go there, you eat cheese and then you come home. 577 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:13,519 So, how did you manage to hurt yourself? I jumped off a bridge. 578 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,959 But there was water below. 579 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,239 And I dove in and I broke a vertebrae by diving in. 580 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,839 AUDIENC GROANS 581 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,119 You've also been run over? I have been run over, yeah. 582 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,959 I was 19 years old, I was in Vancouver and I was at a bar, 583 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,439 I had a few drinks, I'd left my car and I decided to walk home. 584 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:31,999 Being responsible. Exactly. 585 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,599 And I was crossing the street, it was about two in the morning 586 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,640 and I was hit by a drunk driver. 587 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,719 LAUGHTER 588 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,479 I always wondered if he tells people that he got hit by a drunk pedestrian. 589 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:45,679 LAUGHTER 590 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,040 I would. So did that hurt? 591 00:32:47,041 --> 00:32:49,319 Yeah, that was bad. I broke a lot of bones. 592 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,759 That was all the left side of my body I broke. 593 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,359 But I was 19, so at that point, you're just made of rubber and magic. 594 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,159 LAUGHTER 595 00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:58,437 You healed? Yeah. 596 00:32:58,603 --> 00:33:01,509 Bearing in mind you can't jump off a bridge without breaking your back, 597 00:33:01,510 --> 00:33:05,269 was skydiving the perfect hobby to take up? 598 00:33:05,270 --> 00:33:07,429 God, you're like my mother! 599 00:33:07,430 --> 00:33:09,989 LAUGHTER Old enough! Just killing me! 600 00:33:09,990 --> 00:33:12,989 My friends were trying to get their license, 601 00:33:12,990 --> 00:33:16,149 so I decided I would get my license, skydiving, 602 00:33:16,150 --> 00:33:21,909 and I did 12 jumps, which were all highly successful! 603 00:33:21,910 --> 00:33:24,109 And then it was 13! 604 00:33:24,110 --> 00:33:27,909 And the 13th one, I had a problem, where the chute didn't open, 605 00:33:27,910 --> 00:33:29,829 and I had to pull the reserve. 606 00:33:29,830 --> 00:33:33,149 But the weird thing is, when you're in a situation like that, 607 00:33:33,150 --> 00:33:35,589 you're flying down at 120 miles per hour, 608 00:33:35,590 --> 00:33:37,389 and when your chute doesn't open, 609 00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:40,069 you seriously have to think about pulling the other one. 610 00:33:40,070 --> 00:33:43,149 That's the weird thing. Time slows down and you're thinking, 611 00:33:43,150 --> 00:33:45,789 "If I pull the other one, then I'll have none left." 612 00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:47,230 LAUGHTER 613 00:33:49,190 --> 00:33:52,149 "So, I'm just going to wait to see if something happens." 614 00:33:52,150 --> 00:33:55,709 And sure enough, at the last minute, I pulled the reserve chute, 615 00:33:55,710 --> 00:33:58,429 which you can't steer, and I ended up landing in a field 616 00:33:58,430 --> 00:34:01,749 which contained only a dead horse. I don't know what omen that is. 617 00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:05,229 Usually, it's a black crow that tells you you're going to die, 618 00:34:05,230 --> 00:34:07,869 but I just landed next to a dead horse. 619 00:34:07,870 --> 00:34:10,469 You have a new film out, Safe House. I do, yeah. 620 00:34:10,470 --> 00:34:14,389 So when's the movie out? The film is out February 24th here in the UK. 621 00:34:14,390 --> 00:34:17,309 We have a clip of that, which we're going to show for you now. 622 00:34:17,310 --> 00:34:18,910 Let's have a look. 623 00:34:21,870 --> 00:34:24,190 TYRES SQUEAL 624 00:34:48,910 --> 00:34:50,349 APPLAUSE 625 00:34:50,350 --> 00:34:52,509 That's a good crash! 626 00:34:52,510 --> 00:34:54,550 It was a good crash! 627 00:34:57,830 --> 00:35:01,189 That's Denzel Washington. Yes, backseat driving right there! 628 00:35:01,190 --> 00:35:03,189 Elbowing you in the face! Yeah. 629 00:35:03,190 --> 00:35:06,469 So what is it about? Give us the plot, give us the story. 630 00:35:06,470 --> 00:35:11,149 I play a guy who's what's called a safe house operator, a housekeeper. 631 00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:15,069 There are CIA-owned apartments and flats all around the world, 632 00:35:15,070 --> 00:35:17,549 and they're run by usually a low-level CIA guy. 633 00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:21,429 And then, one day, in walks Denzel Washington's character, 634 00:35:21,430 --> 00:35:23,870 who's probably one of the world's worst murdering, 635 00:35:23,871 --> 00:35:26,469 sociopathic Hannibal Lecter types. 636 00:35:26,470 --> 00:35:28,709 And I'm left to deal with this guy, 637 00:35:28,710 --> 00:35:31,949 who I'm deeply ill-equipped to deal with. 638 00:35:31,950 --> 00:35:36,469 So it's not like The Devil Wears Prada, then? No! 639 00:35:36,470 --> 00:35:37,989 It's not The Proposal II. 640 00:35:37,990 --> 00:35:40,669 It's not a romcom. No, that's good. 641 00:35:40,670 --> 00:35:44,909 Can I just say that God is normally quite fair... Yeah. 642 00:35:44,910 --> 00:35:48,029 ... with his dishing-out of talents. For instance, David Beckham, 643 00:35:48,030 --> 00:35:50,309 he's said, "He's going to be very good-looking, 644 00:35:50,310 --> 00:35:51,949 "talented footballer, 645 00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:55,949 "and to balance that up, I'll give him a squeaky voice." 646 00:35:55,950 --> 00:35:58,590 You're funny and good-looking and not fat... 647 00:36:00,630 --> 00:36:02,989 ... where's your squeaky voice? 648 00:36:02,990 --> 00:36:05,149 What's my...? Have you got BO? 649 00:36:05,150 --> 00:36:09,189 Have I got 41 nipples? Have you got very tiny testes? 650 00:36:09,190 --> 00:36:12,109 It's like Braille down there, Jeremy. 651 00:36:12,110 --> 00:36:14,110 LAUGHTER 652 00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:18,469 A very short novel. That's what it is - Braille. 653 00:36:18,470 --> 00:36:19,710 Yeah, the whole system. 654 00:36:21,310 --> 00:36:24,269 Everybody has... I have a lot of things wrong. 655 00:36:24,270 --> 00:36:26,349 I'm blind, I'm deaf, 656 00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:29,029 I've got no sense of smell cos I have a cold, 657 00:36:29,030 --> 00:36:30,829 which I haven't mentioned. 658 00:36:30,830 --> 00:36:34,069 Thank you for the tongue kiss earlier. 659 00:36:34,070 --> 00:36:36,189 LAUGHTER 660 00:36:36,190 --> 00:36:38,590 Just went deep with it, too! 661 00:36:39,790 --> 00:36:42,789 No, we all have crazy faults. 662 00:36:42,790 --> 00:36:45,589 My fault isn't something horrendous, like, 663 00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:47,749 "I can't stop murdering children." 664 00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:51,269 LAUGHTER I just can't stop. 665 00:36:51,270 --> 00:36:53,469 I like to think I'm a horrible driver... 666 00:36:53,470 --> 00:36:55,509 Horrible or bad? 667 00:36:55,510 --> 00:36:59,349 I ride motorcycles everywhere, so you can race up through traffic, 668 00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:01,942 it's bumper to bumper, 669 00:37:01,943 --> 00:37:03,989 and when your oncoming traffic is stopped, you just go right up the middle. 670 00:37:03,990 --> 00:37:06,709 But I have this tendency when I am in a vehicle to think 671 00:37:06,710 --> 00:37:09,509 I can slip that entire vehicle right up the middle. 672 00:37:09,510 --> 00:37:13,269 And it's only at the last second when I'm hitting the brakes, coming to a halt. 673 00:37:13,270 --> 00:37:16,709 You remember you're in a car. You like bikes? I like bikes a lot, yeah. 674 00:37:16,710 --> 00:37:18,429 What sort of bikes? 675 00:37:18,430 --> 00:37:23,189 I have an old Paul Smart Ducati, which is a nice little bike. 676 00:37:23,190 --> 00:37:24,350 I know what a Ducati is! 677 00:37:24,351 --> 00:37:27,509 Yeah, Ducati. I have a Deus. Is it "Deuce" or "Day-us"? 678 00:37:27,510 --> 00:37:29,149 "Day-us", yeah. It's D-E-U-S? 679 00:37:29,150 --> 00:37:30,550 That's how we pronounce it, 680 00:37:30,551 --> 00:37:34,549 but you guys say "Niss-un", so I have no idea what's happening. 681 00:37:34,550 --> 00:37:37,149 Every car's pronounced differently in America. 682 00:37:37,150 --> 00:37:40,549 The Hyundai's a "Hundee". "Nee-sun, Vee-dub-ya, Jag-war. 683 00:37:40,550 --> 00:37:42,109 "Bee-em-dub-ya." 684 00:37:42,110 --> 00:37:43,989 Here, what is it, "Jag-yur"? 685 00:37:43,990 --> 00:37:46,749 "Jag-yoo-ar." How it's spelt. Yeah. 686 00:37:46,750 --> 00:37:49,357 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 687 00:37:50,750 --> 00:37:53,237 No, I'm sorry, that was mean of me! 688 00:37:55,550 --> 00:37:58,029 Now, you came down here to obviously 689 00:37:58,030 --> 00:38:01,029 try your hand in the Kia Cee-apostrophe-d. 690 00:38:01,030 --> 00:38:02,389 What was your goal? 691 00:38:02,390 --> 00:38:05,629 My goal was just to see if I could drive a manual car. 692 00:38:05,630 --> 00:38:08,829 I haven't done that since high school, so that was interesting. 693 00:38:08,830 --> 00:38:10,629 Really? Yeah. 694 00:38:10,630 --> 00:38:13,709 Who'd like to see Ryan's lap? Oh, boy. AUDIENCE: Yeah! 695 00:38:13,710 --> 00:38:15,037 Play the tape! 696 00:38:17,790 --> 00:38:20,029 'Aggressive start. Crisp day.' 697 00:38:20,030 --> 00:38:23,389 That smells exactly like clutch. 698 00:38:23,390 --> 00:38:24,630 'Smells like clutch? 699 00:38:24,631 --> 00:38:27,389 'Clutch does smell like clutch.' 'Does smell bad, yeah.' 700 00:38:27,390 --> 00:38:29,790 'Annoying thing. The wide Formula 1 line in there.' 701 00:38:29,791 --> 00:38:33,109 'I'm a big guy, I make that whole car look like a children's toy.' 702 00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:37,389 'You should see me in it.' 'Looks like a sweater, made of metal.' 703 00:38:37,390 --> 00:38:39,549 LAUGHTER 704 00:38:39,550 --> 00:38:41,870 'Every time I shift, I make a dumb face.' 705 00:38:42,870 --> 00:38:45,269 'That's wide, that's really wide.' 'Terrible.' 706 00:38:45,270 --> 00:38:47,869 'No, it could give you a fast... Where are you going?' 707 00:38:47,870 --> 00:38:49,549 BLEEP! BLEEP manual! BLEEP! 708 00:38:49,550 --> 00:38:51,590 'Yeah! There! Right?' 709 00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:56,149 'The beep machine has obviously blown up... 710 00:38:56,150 --> 00:39:00,389 'Now, keeping it tidy through the lines there. Yes, pretty good. 711 00:39:00,390 --> 00:39:02,029 'Very good, actually.' 712 00:39:02,030 --> 00:39:03,429 Very good. 713 00:39:03,430 --> 00:39:06,709 'Are we going to be able to find fourth?' 714 00:39:06,710 --> 00:39:10,509 Turn from hell coming up. 715 00:39:10,510 --> 00:39:12,669 'Oh, yeah, this turn, not fun every time.' 716 00:39:12,670 --> 00:39:15,349 'That's almost beautiful.' 'Yeah. 717 00:39:15,350 --> 00:39:17,270 'That's what I call the adult diaper.' 718 00:39:17,271 --> 00:39:18,989 'Whoa, that's cutting that one! 719 00:39:18,990 --> 00:39:21,909 'That's quite uncomfortable at that speed.' 'Yeah.' 720 00:39:21,910 --> 00:39:26,629 'Look at it gripping. That's nicely done. Not too cheaty on the cutting. 721 00:39:26,630 --> 00:39:28,869 'And around Gambon.' 722 00:39:28,870 --> 00:39:32,349 There we are, ladies and gentlemen, across the line! There we go! 723 00:39:32,350 --> 00:39:34,349 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 724 00:39:34,350 --> 00:39:35,749 Wow! 725 00:39:35,750 --> 00:39:37,829 So... 726 00:39:37,830 --> 00:39:41,589 Where would you like to appear on the board? 727 00:39:41,590 --> 00:39:44,229 I'm going to say somewhere in the middle. 728 00:39:44,230 --> 00:39:47,669 Didn't you... Actually, I know you did, cos you told our researchers, 729 00:39:47,670 --> 00:39:50,589 you were desperate, cos you went back out... 730 00:39:50,590 --> 00:39:53,349 "Do you mind if I have another go?" "Give me another shot." 731 00:39:53,350 --> 00:39:56,309 Cos you wanted to beat Tom Cruise. 732 00:39:56,310 --> 00:40:00,509 Yeah, I did want to beat Tom Cruise. I wasn't talking about the driving, though. 733 00:40:00,510 --> 00:40:01,917 LAUGHTER 734 00:40:03,630 --> 00:40:06,829 Yes, I'm going to guess that I have 1:45. 735 00:40:06,830 --> 00:40:10,189 1:45? And that's being really generous. 736 00:40:10,190 --> 00:40:12,470 You did a one... Ugh! 737 00:40:14,230 --> 00:40:16,189 This is terrible... forty... 738 00:40:16,190 --> 00:40:18,269 OK, there's a four. 739 00:40:18,270 --> 00:40:19,549 ... three... Oh! 740 00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:21,469 AUDIENCE: Ooh! 741 00:40:21,470 --> 00:40:24,109 ... point seven. You beat Tom Cruise! 742 00:40:24,110 --> 00:40:26,109 You're a faster driver! 743 00:40:26,110 --> 00:40:28,629 Wow! 744 00:40:28,630 --> 00:40:30,469 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 745 00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:31,757 Wow! All right! 746 00:40:33,310 --> 00:40:36,717 Congratulations. Give me that cold! 747 00:40:37,830 --> 00:40:38,910 Take that back! 748 00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:43,190 This is... 749 00:40:44,430 --> 00:40:48,629 Wow, that's worth getting your pneumonia for! 750 00:40:48,630 --> 00:40:49,949 I love that! 751 00:40:49,950 --> 00:40:52,597 Life just gets worse. 752 00:40:54,270 --> 00:40:58,269 You look like that and you're funny and you're a film star 753 00:40:58,270 --> 00:40:59,510 and you can drive. 754 00:41:00,670 --> 00:41:03,189 Yeah, but I break every bone in my body 755 00:41:03,190 --> 00:41:06,629 almost with the cycle of each moon, so don't worry. 756 00:41:06,630 --> 00:41:08,429 I'll hurt myself on the way out. 757 00:41:08,430 --> 00:41:11,269 Well, it's been a pleasure to meet you, 758 00:41:11,270 --> 00:41:14,509 and a pleasure for those girls to stand so close to you. Thank you! 759 00:41:14,510 --> 00:41:16,749 Ladies and gentlemen, Ryan Reynolds! 760 00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:19,637 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 761 00:41:25,510 --> 00:41:29,469 Now, tonight, Jeremy and I are having a go at making a car chase 762 00:41:29,470 --> 00:41:31,189 for the new Sweeney movie, 763 00:41:31,190 --> 00:41:34,669 and so far, well, there have been a few disagreements. 764 00:41:34,670 --> 00:41:38,749 Jeremy wants the action to be "realistic", which means "boring". 765 00:41:38,750 --> 00:41:42,589 I want it to be exciting, full of stunts and massive explosions. 766 00:41:42,590 --> 00:41:43,797 It's a film! 767 00:41:45,470 --> 00:41:49,589 What we've done now is we've reconnected the ABS, 768 00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:52,149 the electronic differential is now working, 769 00:41:52,150 --> 00:41:55,629 so he should be able to do a power slide through there. 770 00:41:55,630 --> 00:41:59,037 Yeah. Okey doke, here we go. Three, two, one, hit it. 771 00:42:05,350 --> 00:42:06,469 Yes, yes! 772 00:42:06,470 --> 00:42:09,989 'Whilst Jeremy was faffing around with his anti-lock brakes, 773 00:42:09,990 --> 00:42:11,989 'I'd raided The Sweeney's budget 774 00:42:11,990 --> 00:42:15,189 'and come up with a way of getting the car to jump properly.' 775 00:42:15,190 --> 00:42:16,629 It's an air cannon. 776 00:42:16,630 --> 00:42:19,189 What it does is, car mounted up on the cannon there, 777 00:42:19,190 --> 00:42:22,709 it charges with a huge compressor there - it's actually nitrogen... 778 00:42:22,710 --> 00:42:26,629 and it fires the car out over that way, so you get big air. 779 00:42:26,630 --> 00:42:29,949 Jeremy said about keeping it real - well, check this out. 780 00:42:29,950 --> 00:42:34,829 Up there. So often when you see a car jump in a film, you realise the engine's gone. 781 00:42:34,830 --> 00:42:36,789 Not this time - I've left it in. 782 00:42:36,790 --> 00:42:39,189 Three million quid - what's an engine? 783 00:42:39,190 --> 00:42:42,429 'With the cannon primed, we were ready for lift-off.' 784 00:42:42,430 --> 00:42:44,830 OK, three, two, one! 785 00:42:54,950 --> 00:42:56,789 That's the jump! 786 00:42:56,790 --> 00:42:57,989 Yes! 787 00:42:57,990 --> 00:43:01,749 'Mr Picky, however, wasn't so impressed.' 788 00:43:01,750 --> 00:43:05,229 Have you ever heard the word "continuity"? Yes. 789 00:43:05,230 --> 00:43:06,590 Here is your car. 790 00:43:07,590 --> 00:43:11,109 Yes. Right, the next shot is what? 791 00:43:11,110 --> 00:43:12,350 The next shot is... 792 00:43:12,351 --> 00:43:16,709 Ah, no, this is where there'll be another car driving away. 793 00:43:16,710 --> 00:43:19,510 No, we see it land on its roof... 794 00:43:20,830 --> 00:43:25,749 ... and then we're expected to believe that somehow it's still driveable? 795 00:43:25,750 --> 00:43:28,309 This is the movies, that's what happens. 796 00:43:28,310 --> 00:43:32,109 Did you never watch... CHiPs? Remember that? 797 00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:34,789 They'd ride along, one minute you've got a man on a Harley 798 00:43:34,790 --> 00:43:37,389 approaching the back of a lorry with its tailgate down, 799 00:43:37,390 --> 00:43:40,109 then he's done a massive jump, briefly he's on a dirt bike, 800 00:43:40,110 --> 00:43:42,389 then he lands, he's back on the Harley again. 801 00:43:42,390 --> 00:43:45,069 That's rubbish. That's the movies! We all expect that! 802 00:43:45,070 --> 00:43:48,429 This car will never work! It's not plausible! 803 00:43:48,430 --> 00:43:52,029 You can't edit your way out of that! 804 00:43:52,030 --> 00:43:55,709 Just let me get in the edit suite and work some magic. 805 00:43:55,710 --> 00:43:57,637 You won't believe it. 806 00:44:01,230 --> 00:44:04,069 'First, though, I needed some close-up shots of the actors, 807 00:44:04,070 --> 00:44:06,149 'which I would then cut into the scene 808 00:44:06,150 --> 00:44:08,549 'where the car flies through the air.' 809 00:44:08,550 --> 00:44:11,669 Does Nick know about this? Yeah, yeah, bang on. Are you sure? Yeah. 810 00:44:11,670 --> 00:44:14,572 'Because we'd got off to a bad start, 811 00:44:14,573 --> 00:44:17,389 I was keen to demonstrate they were in good hands.' 812 00:44:17,390 --> 00:44:20,909 You're going to be in the air, and at that point, 813 00:44:20,910 --> 00:44:25,749 if you'd both give me excitement - you're in a chase - elation... 814 00:44:25,750 --> 00:44:28,789 you're in the air - but I want to see determination as well. 815 00:44:28,790 --> 00:44:33,389 You're in a chase, mixed with vengeful, righteous fury. 816 00:44:33,390 --> 00:44:36,189 So there's so many emotions going on in this split second, 817 00:44:36,190 --> 00:44:38,989 there's so many emotions you're going to have to feel. 818 00:44:38,990 --> 00:44:40,749 Let's start with nothing, OK? OK. 819 00:44:40,750 --> 00:44:43,109 That's a blank canvas. As you hit the ramp... 820 00:44:43,110 --> 00:44:47,069 Richard, I don't feel like you're giving me enough direction. 821 00:44:47,070 --> 00:44:50,309 You're giving it all to him. What about me? Ben, blank again for me. 822 00:44:50,310 --> 00:44:52,549 Blank. You're throwing a hissy now, ain't you? 823 00:44:52,550 --> 00:44:55,829 Let's blank it and let's start... 824 00:44:55,830 --> 00:45:01,029 OK, remember, elation, excitement, vengeful fury and fear. 825 00:45:01,030 --> 00:45:03,029 So, vengeful fury comes before fear? 826 00:45:03,030 --> 00:45:05,470 At the same time. What am I frightened of, though? 827 00:45:05,471 --> 00:45:07,069 It's already happened, ain't it? 828 00:45:07,070 --> 00:45:09,069 I wouldn't be frightened after the event. 829 00:45:09,070 --> 00:45:11,949 Wouldn't I be frightened when I'm in the air? We're in the air. 830 00:45:11,950 --> 00:45:17,269 Oh, them four emotions take place in the air? Yeah. 831 00:45:17,270 --> 00:45:20,509 You're in the air for a while. It'll be a long while, won't it? 832 00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:21,750 It's a big jump. 833 00:45:21,751 --> 00:45:24,229 And just one last thing - we have to land. 834 00:45:24,230 --> 00:45:27,589 I'm going to say, "Forwards," and you go forwards, I'm going say, 835 00:45:27,590 --> 00:45:30,269 "Backwards..." Forwards, backwards, and away. 836 00:45:30,270 --> 00:45:33,069 Forwards, backwards, forwards and away, 837 00:45:33,070 --> 00:45:35,589 or backwards, forwards, backwards? 838 00:45:35,590 --> 00:45:39,469 No, it's forwards, you land forwards, backwards, 839 00:45:39,470 --> 00:45:41,629 forwards, backwards, then drive away. 840 00:45:41,630 --> 00:45:43,949 I thought there had to be another backwards. 841 00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:45,669 Oh, I'm confused. Don't forget, 842 00:45:45,670 --> 00:45:50,389 I want to catch just a whispering trace of those emotions from the sky. 843 00:45:50,390 --> 00:45:53,149 They're dissipating as you land... 844 00:45:53,150 --> 00:45:55,837 Oh, don't he go on! BLEEP sake. 845 00:45:57,230 --> 00:46:00,269 'While Richard Ford Coppola was with the stars, 846 00:46:00,270 --> 00:46:02,989 'I was trying to make the angry director 847 00:46:02,990 --> 00:46:07,829 'understand the problems of driving a big Jag around a caravan park.' 848 00:46:07,830 --> 00:46:12,989 I have to slide this car on grass, and the problem is, 849 00:46:12,990 --> 00:46:17,029 the traction control is on, so it's not letting me slide. 850 00:46:17,030 --> 00:46:18,429 Foot hard down. 851 00:46:18,430 --> 00:46:21,357 Hard down, and it won't slide. 852 00:46:23,630 --> 00:46:26,389 That is the traction control on. 853 00:46:26,390 --> 00:46:28,429 Can I just say, that was BLEEP. 854 00:46:28,430 --> 00:46:31,229 Do you want to see it with traction control off? 855 00:46:31,230 --> 00:46:32,269 Yeah. OK. 856 00:46:32,270 --> 00:46:33,870 Now watch this. OK. 857 00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:39,717 Get the power on, feel the tail go. 858 00:46:40,790 --> 00:46:41,870 Hold that slide. 859 00:46:45,470 --> 00:46:48,269 That is what we need. 860 00:46:48,270 --> 00:46:51,829 Which do you prefer, traction control on or off? 861 00:46:51,830 --> 00:46:52,869 Off. Off? 862 00:46:52,870 --> 00:46:56,189 Yes. That means you're going to have to have a line of dialogue 863 00:46:56,190 --> 00:46:59,270 where one of them says, "Turn the traction control off." 864 00:47:00,430 --> 00:47:03,829 Not in my film, no. You're going to have to. It's ten seconds to do it. 865 00:47:03,830 --> 00:47:05,750 You have to hold it down for ten seconds. 866 00:47:05,751 --> 00:47:09,029 Anyone who's got a Jag watching the film will go, "You can't do that." 867 00:47:09,030 --> 00:47:11,789 It doesn't matter. It's not a BLEEP film for Jag watchers. 868 00:47:11,790 --> 00:47:13,909 It's a film for everyone to go to the cinema. 869 00:47:13,910 --> 00:47:16,869 Why doesn't he say, "Why do they make it ten seconds?" 870 00:47:16,870 --> 00:47:19,349 He can say that. No! Cos it kills the... 871 00:47:19,350 --> 00:47:22,149 WALKIE TALKIE BEEPS Oh, BLEEP off. It kills the tension! 872 00:47:22,150 --> 00:47:24,309 I want a film that connects to a wide audience. 873 00:47:24,310 --> 00:47:27,309 I know, but... Can I finish? Can I just speak? 874 00:47:27,310 --> 00:47:30,949 90 minutes into the film is the main car chase. 875 00:47:30,950 --> 00:47:33,349 You can't have someone pressing a BLEEP button. 876 00:47:33,350 --> 00:47:36,389 What are you going to do, a close-up of a button? Yeah. 877 00:47:36,390 --> 00:47:38,549 You're not putting that in my film. 878 00:47:38,550 --> 00:47:41,589 I like the traction control off, I don't want all bollocks 879 00:47:41,590 --> 00:47:43,789 about what it does and what it doesn't do. 880 00:47:43,790 --> 00:47:46,429 You said you wanted me to do something real. 881 00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:48,029 I'm doing something real. 882 00:47:48,030 --> 00:47:51,350 Actually, you know what you should do - BLEEP off. 883 00:47:54,750 --> 00:47:58,509 'This altercation meant the director was not in the best of moods 884 00:47:58,510 --> 00:48:01,589 'when he went to have a look at an edit of Richard's big jump.' 885 00:48:01,590 --> 00:48:03,789 Right, look. This is still work in progress, 886 00:48:03,790 --> 00:48:06,229 but I have begun the polishing process, 887 00:48:06,230 --> 00:48:08,469 and I've worked on the sound. OK. 888 00:48:08,470 --> 00:48:09,510 Enjoy. 889 00:48:15,030 --> 00:48:17,789 TYRES SCREECH LOUDLY 890 00:48:17,790 --> 00:48:21,517 ENGINE REVS LOUDLY 891 00:48:24,070 --> 00:48:25,237 EXPLOSION 892 00:48:26,950 --> 00:48:28,557 BLEEP! 893 00:48:34,870 --> 00:48:36,430 TYRES SCREECH 894 00:48:39,950 --> 00:48:41,910 It's all there, isn't it? 895 00:48:47,570 --> 00:48:50,969 OK, what I've done here is I've set up a practice area 896 00:48:50,970 --> 00:48:52,250 for the next stunt, 897 00:48:52,251 --> 00:48:56,569 so I don't leave tyre marks in the grass at the actual location, 898 00:48:56,570 --> 00:48:57,889 which is over there. 899 00:48:57,890 --> 00:48:59,530 DISTANT SHOUTS 900 00:49:02,450 --> 00:49:06,729 Well, I guess we were wondering how the world's angriest man 901 00:49:06,730 --> 00:49:11,329 would respond to Hammond's car jump, and now we know. 902 00:49:11,330 --> 00:49:14,650 Come here, you BLEEP! Little BLEEP! I'll kill you! 903 00:49:17,730 --> 00:49:20,569 'Because the director was busy hurting Richard 904 00:49:20,570 --> 00:49:22,529 'for writing off one of the Fords, 905 00:49:22,530 --> 00:49:26,289 'I seized the opportunity to give the baddies their new dialogue.' 906 00:49:26,290 --> 00:49:28,569 You're driving, aren't you? Yes. 907 00:49:28,570 --> 00:49:31,009 I need you to say, "Turn off the ABS." 908 00:49:31,010 --> 00:49:35,049 You say, "How?" And you say, "Pull the rhythm." 909 00:49:35,050 --> 00:49:37,529 How do you say that in Serbian? What? 910 00:49:37,530 --> 00:49:39,929 How do you say it in Serbian? I'm Serbian. 911 00:49:39,930 --> 00:49:42,329 You're Serbian? Yeah. 912 00:49:42,330 --> 00:49:45,289 Have a look. I've written this all in rhyming slang. 913 00:49:45,290 --> 00:49:46,609 Rhythm and blues - fuse. 914 00:49:46,610 --> 00:49:49,649 Or you could say "Rodney". No, he's a Serb. 915 00:49:49,650 --> 00:49:52,689 But he'll have learned his English, won't you, in London. 916 00:49:52,690 --> 00:49:54,769 He's only been here a day. 917 00:49:54,770 --> 00:49:58,129 Rhythm. Do it with a Borat accent. AS BORAT: Pull the Rodney. 918 00:49:58,130 --> 00:49:59,929 AS BORAT: Pull the Rodney. Yes! 919 00:49:59,930 --> 00:50:02,569 AS BORAT: Pull the Rodney. Rodney Bewes, fuse. 920 00:50:02,570 --> 00:50:04,129 Similarly... Go on. 921 00:50:04,130 --> 00:50:08,089 You go, "How many horsepower has that Ford got?" OK, right. 922 00:50:08,090 --> 00:50:13,889 "250." It hasn't actually, really, but don't let that bother you. 923 00:50:13,890 --> 00:50:17,289 "250." "God, Plod must be Robin." 924 00:50:17,290 --> 00:50:19,609 Robin Hood. 925 00:50:19,610 --> 00:50:22,769 "God, Plod must be Robin." Cos they're keeping up with you. 926 00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:25,169 God, Plod must be Robin. Yeah? 927 00:50:25,170 --> 00:50:26,569 "We've got 503." 928 00:50:26,570 --> 00:50:28,769 Now, this is the critical bit. 929 00:50:28,770 --> 00:50:30,809 When you're in the caravan site, you... 930 00:50:30,810 --> 00:50:33,849 AS BORAT: Turn off the traction control! 931 00:50:33,850 --> 00:50:36,769 AS BORAT: Turn off the traction control! Love it. 932 00:50:36,770 --> 00:50:39,409 "'Ow. 'Ow. 'Ow do I do that? Whatever you want." 933 00:50:39,410 --> 00:50:42,690 Oh, "'Ow," you mean? "'Ow." AS BORAT: Push the Len. 934 00:50:44,410 --> 00:50:47,249 AS BORAT: Push the Len. Push the Len. It's Len Hutton. 935 00:50:47,250 --> 00:50:50,729 Was he a cricketer or a trade-union leader? Trade-union leader. 936 00:50:50,730 --> 00:50:52,369 Was he? No, he was a cricketer. 937 00:50:52,370 --> 00:50:55,049 Whatever he was, it's Len. AS BORAT: Push the Len. 938 00:50:55,050 --> 00:50:57,769 And then, this is the complicated bit 939 00:50:57,770 --> 00:51:00,129 that we really do need to get in. 940 00:51:00,130 --> 00:51:03,249 AS BORAT: You have to hold it down for ten seconds. 941 00:51:03,250 --> 00:51:06,369 AS BORAT: You have to hold it down for ten seconds. 942 00:51:06,370 --> 00:51:09,249 Yeah. It ain't the most riveting dialogue. 943 00:51:09,250 --> 00:51:10,969 It depends how you deliver it. 944 00:51:10,970 --> 00:51:13,729 You're in a panic - turn off the traction control! 945 00:51:13,730 --> 00:51:15,650 Where's the Len?! Where's the Len?! 946 00:51:15,651 --> 00:51:19,210 OK, all right, let's do it. Good. Thanks very much. 947 00:51:21,050 --> 00:51:24,769 'With the dialogue sorted, I went to see my rather bruised colleague, 948 00:51:24,770 --> 00:51:29,609 'who was now setting up a stunt in which the Jag would clip a caravan.' 949 00:51:29,610 --> 00:51:32,849 What are you doing? Filling the caravan with petrol. 950 00:51:32,850 --> 00:51:36,729 Why? So it explodes when the car hits it. Boom! 951 00:51:36,730 --> 00:51:38,649 Why would the caravan explode? 952 00:51:38,650 --> 00:51:40,689 Because I've filled it with petrol. 953 00:51:40,690 --> 00:51:42,729 But caravans are made from plywood, 954 00:51:42,730 --> 00:51:45,330 and plywood does not blow up when you bang into it. 955 00:51:46,850 --> 00:51:50,169 It doesn't. They have gas bottles in them. They would explode. 956 00:51:50,170 --> 00:51:52,090 See, that's what I'm replicating. 957 00:51:53,770 --> 00:51:55,930 Car, "Boom!" OK... 958 00:51:57,330 --> 00:52:00,769 Just a "Boof", OK? Just a "Boof". 959 00:52:00,770 --> 00:52:03,610 Yeah. But please don't go mad. 960 00:52:05,090 --> 00:52:06,450 No. 961 00:52:08,930 --> 00:52:12,089 'I then went to the other side of the caravan park, 962 00:52:12,090 --> 00:52:15,089 'because a piece of equipment called a Russian arm, 963 00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:19,329 'which costs £6,000 a day to rent, had just arrived 964 00:52:19,330 --> 00:52:21,849 'from the set of Spielberg's War Horse.' 965 00:52:21,850 --> 00:52:24,889 There it is. It's gyro stabilised, 966 00:52:24,890 --> 00:52:28,289 so it's smooth even if the car's going over rough ground. 967 00:52:28,290 --> 00:52:31,409 So even when the car's moving along, it can do that, 968 00:52:31,410 --> 00:52:33,969 which gives you very, very dynamic shots. 969 00:52:33,970 --> 00:52:36,089 This is what Hammond doesn't understand. 970 00:52:36,090 --> 00:52:40,002 You can use the camera to make the chase, 971 00:52:40,003 --> 00:52:42,849 the real chase, exciting. 972 00:52:42,850 --> 00:52:46,729 You don't need to have the car going through the air with two people 973 00:52:46,730 --> 00:52:49,689 out of the sunroof with MAC-10s, shooting at the car behind. 974 00:52:49,690 --> 00:52:53,969 'Eventually, Hammond called to say the caravan clip stunt was ready. 975 00:52:53,970 --> 00:52:57,049 'But since my pro drivers were busy with the Russian arm, 976 00:52:57,050 --> 00:52:58,809 'I fired up a back-up Jag 977 00:52:58,810 --> 00:53:01,809 'and volunteered to do the driving myself.' 978 00:53:01,810 --> 00:53:04,209 275, take one. 979 00:53:04,210 --> 00:53:05,769 B camera. 980 00:53:05,770 --> 00:53:09,569 Got my own airbag here, so if I do that, I'll be OK. 981 00:53:09,570 --> 00:53:15,009 Perspex in case I hit the driver's door. Airbags are disconnected. 982 00:53:15,010 --> 00:53:16,730 Traction control is off. 983 00:53:20,290 --> 00:53:21,409 OK. 984 00:53:21,410 --> 00:53:23,889 DIRECTOR: 'Cameras recording, please.' 985 00:53:23,890 --> 00:53:27,569 ENGINE REVS 986 00:53:27,570 --> 00:53:29,690 'Action, Jeremy.' 987 00:53:37,090 --> 00:53:38,489 KABOOM! 988 00:53:38,490 --> 00:53:41,130 Whoa! What the hell?! 989 00:53:46,010 --> 00:53:47,530 Hammond! 990 00:53:49,530 --> 00:53:54,209 It was supposed to be a gas bottle. What the hell...? 991 00:53:54,210 --> 00:53:57,409 You blew the wrong caravan up! You hit the wrong one! 992 00:53:57,410 --> 00:54:00,133 I didn't hit the wrong one, that was the one we were supposed to... 993 00:54:00,134 --> 00:54:02,770 You should have labelled it! 994 00:54:03,930 --> 00:54:05,249 Have you any idea...? 995 00:54:05,250 --> 00:54:08,929 The angry man is going to see this, he's going to see that, 996 00:54:08,930 --> 00:54:14,649 and then he's going to see his £50,000 Jaguar XFR. 997 00:54:14,650 --> 00:54:16,969 Ooh, my lord. 998 00:54:16,970 --> 00:54:20,929 That wasn't supposed to happen. He said, "Light bodywork damage..." 999 00:54:20,930 --> 00:54:24,249 You ripped its arse off. "... because then Jaguar could repair it 1000 00:54:24,250 --> 00:54:26,409 "and I don't have to pay the full price." 1001 00:54:26,410 --> 00:54:31,090 He's going to see what's happened here, Hammond, wrong caravan... 1002 00:54:32,250 --> 00:54:33,729 ... this... 1003 00:54:33,730 --> 00:54:36,010 the explosion was late... 1004 00:54:38,050 --> 00:54:40,609 God almighty. There's the edit. 1005 00:54:40,610 --> 00:54:44,250 How can you edit an explosion to happen earlier than it does? 1006 00:54:51,690 --> 00:54:57,649 You know Ray Winstone was watching that explosion from here, OK? 1007 00:54:57,650 --> 00:55:01,129 He's watching, and this is not a word of a lie, 1008 00:55:01,130 --> 00:55:03,889 that's a piece of glass from the caravan 1009 00:55:03,890 --> 00:55:06,290 that's penetrated this caravan. 1010 00:55:08,450 --> 00:55:11,449 If that had hit here, 1011 00:55:11,450 --> 00:55:14,569 would you like to know what Sophie Raworth would have said 1012 00:55:14,570 --> 00:55:16,770 on The Six O'Clock News tonight? 1013 00:55:18,690 --> 00:55:21,129 'Hammond and I decided to beat a retreat 1014 00:55:21,130 --> 00:55:24,449 'before the world's angriest man found out 1015 00:55:24,450 --> 00:55:26,930 'how much of his money had gone up in smoke. 1016 00:55:33,730 --> 00:55:36,649 'To try and cheer him up, we decided to demonstrate that, 1017 00:55:36,650 --> 00:55:42,009 'despite all the mishaps, we had ended up with a good car chase.' 1018 00:55:42,010 --> 00:55:43,690 On here? 1019 00:55:46,450 --> 00:55:48,130 HORN BLARES 1020 00:55:49,770 --> 00:55:52,849 How many horsepower has Plod got? 1021 00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:54,809 AS BORAT: 250. 1022 00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:58,809 God, Plod must be Robin. This thing's got 503. 1023 00:55:58,810 --> 00:56:00,089 TYRES SCREECH 1024 00:56:00,090 --> 00:56:02,249 HORN BLARES 1025 00:56:02,250 --> 00:56:06,129 AS BORAT: Turn off the ABS. 'Ow do you do that? 'Ow? 'Ow? 'Ow? 1026 00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:07,929 AS BORAT: Pull the rhythm. 1027 00:56:07,930 --> 00:56:09,810 TYRES SCREECH 1028 00:56:14,330 --> 00:56:15,489 Gritty. 1029 00:56:15,490 --> 00:56:17,170 EXPLOSION 1030 00:56:28,010 --> 00:56:30,729 AS BORAT: Turn off the traction control. 1031 00:56:30,730 --> 00:56:32,049 'Ow? 1032 00:56:32,050 --> 00:56:35,050 AS BORAT: You have to hold it down for ten seconds. 1033 00:56:37,170 --> 00:56:39,209 Why didn't we get a BMW? 1034 00:56:39,210 --> 00:56:42,050 You only have to push the Len for five seconds. 1035 00:56:52,690 --> 00:56:55,649 TYRES SQUEAL 1036 00:56:55,650 --> 00:57:01,169 Full ten? Oh, yeah, ten seconds, and then the viewer's left in no doubt. 1037 00:57:01,170 --> 00:57:02,570 Go! 1038 00:57:04,690 --> 00:57:08,250 KABOOM! 1039 00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:14,370 CRASH 1040 00:57:16,730 --> 00:57:21,049 I think when the world's angriest man sees that, 1041 00:57:21,050 --> 00:57:24,569 he's going to be quite pleased. 1042 00:57:24,570 --> 00:57:26,649 Is he? I think so. 1043 00:57:26,650 --> 00:57:29,689 I know there are one or two rough edges in it, 1044 00:57:29,690 --> 00:57:35,569 but overall, it has a gritty reality. 1045 00:57:35,570 --> 00:57:39,209 He's very keen on hero shots - you've seen Ray, you've seen Plan. 1046 00:57:39,210 --> 00:57:44,250 This is Ray Winstone out of The Departed, Ray Winstone out of... 1047 00:57:45,410 --> 00:57:46,929 ... Cold Mountain. 1048 00:57:46,930 --> 00:57:48,889 Out of bet364 adverts. 1049 00:57:48,890 --> 00:57:52,610 There he is, rocking about as the car lands, and I think... 1050 00:57:54,970 --> 00:57:59,169 I think we can pat ourselves on the back. I don't know where he is now, 1051 00:57:59,170 --> 00:58:01,809 but he's probably regretting his behaviour today. 1052 00:58:01,810 --> 00:58:04,570 It was just a personality clash. Really? 1053 00:58:06,610 --> 00:58:07,810 Oh... 1054 00:58:09,170 --> 00:58:11,170 Oh, not my car. 1055 00:58:22,490 --> 00:58:23,997 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1056 00:58:28,210 --> 00:58:33,809 This perfectly sane, rational, very professional man 1057 00:58:33,810 --> 00:58:38,209 was driven to an act of petty vandalism by your incompetence? 1058 00:58:38,210 --> 00:58:40,449 He ruined my car. You ruined his film! 1059 00:58:40,450 --> 00:58:43,409 Can I just say, actually, we got a call the other day, 1060 00:58:43,410 --> 00:58:46,689 and this is absolutely true, from a Hollywood producer 1061 00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:50,129 who asked if we could film a lorry chase through Moscow 1062 00:58:50,130 --> 00:58:52,689 for the new Die Hard film. Seriously. 1063 00:58:52,690 --> 00:58:55,289 But he'll change his mind when he sees that, won't he? 1064 00:58:55,290 --> 00:58:59,049 A-ha! You say that, but we brought back the rushes, the raw material, 1065 00:58:59,050 --> 00:59:03,049 from our shoot, and we gave that to the editors, OK? 1066 00:59:03,050 --> 00:59:04,530 It's still work in progress, 1067 00:59:04,531 --> 00:59:07,809 but who here would like to see what they've come up with? 1068 00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:11,009 AUDIENCE: Yeah. OK, let's run the tape, let's have a look. 1069 00:59:11,010 --> 00:59:12,770 TYRES SQUEAL 1070 00:59:14,050 --> 00:59:15,730 HORNS BLARE 1071 00:59:30,170 --> 00:59:32,330 HORN BLARES 1072 01:00:24,650 --> 01:00:26,930 GUNSHOTS 1073 01:00:31,130 --> 01:00:33,050 GUNFIRE 1074 01:00:44,010 --> 01:00:47,090 APPLAUSE 1075 01:00:48,410 --> 01:00:50,449 Yeah! 1076 01:00:50,450 --> 01:00:52,889 Come on! Yeah! 1077 01:00:52,890 --> 01:00:55,849 Actually, it's not bad. It's not bad at all. 1078 01:00:55,850 --> 01:00:58,649 And on that bombshell, it is time to end. 1079 01:00:58,650 --> 01:01:01,729 Thank you very much for watching. See you next week, goodnight! 1080 01:01:01,730 --> 01:01:05,412 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.Addic7ed.com/